Summer Camp - 21. Long Goodbyes

They spent the last weekend mucking around in the lake with their friends. Jeanine and Noah were friends after their short spate of flirting and subsequent trips into the woods. The two humans were not as good at hiding as Paddy and Troy were, and the shifters had been on their way to being naked, running through the woodlands, when they happened across their friends up against a tree. Paddy had giggled about the look on Noah’s face for hours afterwards.

It had been hard to hug Jeanine, Benny and Sandra and know, despite the best intentions of everyone and all the promises in the world, that they were unlikely to see them ever again. Distance was not kind to short lived friendships born of proximity, and though Jeanine was going to be applying for a leadership position the following summer, Paddy couldn’t see himself and Troy travelling all the way back down south for another whole summer of having sneaky sex in the woods. Harder still had been the last campfire, sitting around the flames with the very last batch of kids, telling jokes and singing songs. Paddy sung his lullaby, dressed in his kilt and jacobite shirt, and he and Troy had volunteered to watch the fire until it was out, wrapped up in the swathes of extra fabric from the breacan-an-feileadh, cuddled under the star light. Then they’d all gone and gotten drunk.

Friday morning before the kids were up, Paddy was woken by the noise of his phone ringing.

“Mam?”

“Paddy! Oh me wee bairn, we hae been missing ye somethin’ fierce. When is it ye want us tae coom doon and collect ye?”

“Mornin’ Mam.” Paddy sighed as Troy, for once still asleep in his arms, snuggled further into the crook of his arm and chest, making a happy, sleep noise of contentment. “We’re supposed tae clear out o’ the site tomorrow.” When Paddy had phoned home the day after his birthday, he had never gotten around to discussing travel arrangements with his parents. “Mam, w’ need tae go and see Troy’s mother. She doesnae ken about me yet.”

“He didnae tell her?” His mother sounded shocked.

“Aye, he didnae bring a phone, an I daen’t think he is so close as we are.” Paddy hoped Troy didn’t mind his assumption as the lynx mewled softly, beginning to come out of his sleep by the continued lack of being cuddled back.

“Well then laddie, yer hardly goin’ tae want tae be in tha back o’ tha car wi’ us for seven hours. I’ll git yer Da tae put some money in tae yer account and ye can hire yerselves a car an’ drive ye damn-self up.” She sounded pleased with her suggestion. “Tha’ way ye’s can taek all tha time ye need. As long as ye back before Tuesday.”

“Wha’s Tuesday?” Paddy searched his brain for a misremembered date.

“Ye’ve been gone all summer bairn, ye family miss ye and all ye cousins will be coming over next week. If ye aten’t back by Tuesday, I’ll hae tae share ye wi’ them right away.”

“Aww Mam…”

“Oh hush ye gob. It’ll be nice tae meet yer boy, it’s been long enough. Is he there pet?”

“He’s asleep Mam. Jus’ please daen’t make tae much o’ a fuss when we git home aye?”

“Alri’, alri’.” Paddy tried to drape his arm around his mate, only to have Troy grab the quilt and rolled over with a hrumf. “See ye soon, bye ma.” Paddy dumped the phone on the floor and moved to stroke his mate’s hair. He met two bright blue eyes, regarding him with slight suspicion. “Mornin’ babe.”

“You’re up before me.” It sounded like an accusation. “Why aren’t you here with snuggles and morning blowjobs?”

“Mam phoned.” Paddy sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. “She’s gonna lend me some money tae rent a car so we can travel North t’getha.”

“Ohh, that’s really nice.” Troy looked slightly guilty. “Sorry, I should have said ‘hello’ shouldn’t I?”

“Daen’t worry about it pet.” Paddy kissed the top of his mate’s head, “W’’ll be home soon enough.”

“Oh gods…” Troy buried his face in his hands, “What’s my mum going to say when she finds out I’m gay?”

Paddy grinned and swung his legs out of bed, casting about for clothes to start the day with. He petted his mate gently, because the young man has melted into his reddish summer fur, half buried under the quilt.

“Ach Troy, she’ll be fine. Ye’ll see.” The bear got up, scooping the lynx up in one arm as the feline burrowed into his chest. “Last day wi’ tha kids t’day. Let’s go!”

It was an odd sort of last day, because the kids and the teachers were all tired, and while Paddy and his fellow instructors were also exhausted from their long summer of teaching and training all manner of small teenagers to overcome their fears, they were also keyed up with the excitement that today was the last day. Soon, regardless of how much fun they had had, they were all going home. Paddy took the last of the groups for the tree top track and they chased each other through the mature summer leaves. When they returned, the kids swept out their tents, and Levi started to hoover up as Paddy loaded the gear onto the waiting coach. It was not the sort of emotional goodbye which Paddy had expected, and a long way from the way he’d felt when Gregg left. As the coach pulled away, mostly he was just relieved to find it was over.

They packed up the tents, bagging them up in numbered carry sacks. Then as a whole team, the first time they’d been all together since before Paddy’s birthday, they cleaned up all the harnesses and all the helmets, counted and took inventory of everything. Sean loaded the heavy kit into the back of the little pick up, and Troy lashed the ladders to the roof of the minibus. Paddy and Noah took the harnesses over their shoulders and walked behind the vehicles towards the central hub of the site.

Other teams were bringing in their gear in dribs and drabs and once Nic had signed everything off with the purple shirted admin man, they were sent back to the field at River Road. Paddy and Troy cleaned the shower block out, the chemicals making their noses sting.

“Ye ken, a tiny bit o’ me is gonna miss this place.” Paddy stood in the doorway of the biggest shower cubicle, the one where he had first screwed Troy, and where the lynx had asked to kiss him that first morning when all they’d done was disagree about what they felt for each other.

“Really?” Troy wrapped his arms around Paddy’s ribs. “You’re a soppy bastard aren’t you?” Troy’s fingers skirted up under his shirt, touching his chest and making the bear shiver. “You know, we could always say goodbye to the place properly.”

Paddy had his tongue halfway down Troy’s throat when Noah opened the door by knocking on it and yelped in surprise.

“Oh Jesus!”

Troy broke the kiss, blushing under his freckles.

“Hey Noah.”

“Aren’t you two a bit old to be making out in the bathrooms?”

“Aten’t ye a bit old tae be caught wi’ ye arse up against a tree lad?” Paddy replied. He wrapped an arm around Troy’s waist. “I reckon we’re done here babe. Let’s go.”

“So what’s next for you Canadian man?” Troy asked as they walked with the cleaning supplies back up to the mess hall. Sean was standing with his finally finished, bow while Nic swept the dust out of the door. “You booked on the next flight home or what?”

“No, I’m gonna bum around Europe for a bit, then go back in time for the season.” He glanced between their blank faces. “Snowboarding. Gonna get a job on the slopes over in B.C.”

“Sounds like a good plan.” Troy hugged his mate. “Wonder what we’ll do for the winter eh babe?” When Paddy looked unsure, the lynx smiled. “We got time babe. Don’t you worry about a thing.”

The sun was going down when they looked up to realise everything was done. The grill was clean, the bins were emptied, and the tents were down. There was nothing left to do but say goodbye. Alexia was first, and Paddy barely noticed her leaving. Her father’s big black Jaguar pulled up outside the mess hall and Troy’s departing shot was a muttered “hypocritical bitch” as she got into the car. Levi also departed rather quickly, jumping into his little car with a half-hearted wave.

“He won’t be back.” Sean muttered as the boy pulled away.

“Ye reckon he’ll ever leave a city again?” Paddy queried.

“I doubt it.” Noah came to stand with them. “You all staying overnight?”

“Yup.”

“Aye.”

“Time for a drink then I think.” The Canadian grinned foolishly. “I still got half a bottle of whiskey left.”

Ava said her goodbyes when they were already tipsy, dashing into Noah’s appropriated cabin to hug each of them with a swift goodbye before her girlfriend came to pick her up. Nic waved to them from the doorway, and they raised a glass each to him, but not even Sean made any moves to get up and see him off as he drove away.

“And then there were four.” Sean said softly.

They swapped phone number and email addresses whilst they were all still sober enough to spell correctly, and Paddy ended up rolling Sean into Levi’s old bunk when the red-head passed out on the floor. He hugged Noah hard, stripped himself out of his shirt and shifted in the cabin as fast as he could.

“Babe…” Troy’s fingers were instantly in the thick fur off his ruff, scratching at the back of his head. “I love you.”

“Rooaw woorl wrou.”

“I know babe. I know.” Troy pressed against his side as the bear sat back on his haunches. The slim young man practically purred.

“Gonna miss you big guy.” Noah sighed softly, half smiling. “You’d better decide to come and visit. Darryl will never forgive me if you don’t.”

“Hrroum rooowl.” Paddy knocked his head gently against Noah’s shoulder, and a moment later he had the Canadian bundled up in his arms. It felt good to be hugged by someone and Noah smiled into his fur.

A groan from the bed distracted them.

“Something with fur and a beak…” Sean mumbled as he rolled over, one eye opened blearily. “Or really big feet.”

Troy froze, but Noah simply pulled the sheets up to Sean’s face and the man took them from him and rolled back over again with a snuffle. Paddy relaxed.

“He’ll have been much too drunk to remember anything. I suppose you two are going for a last run eh?”

Paddy flicked a little round ear at his mate and grinned.

“Go on, I’ll take your clothes back.” Noah smiled. “If I don’t see you in the morning, good luck eh?”

Troy was naked in three seconds, stepping out of his fallen garments as a lynx. He rubbed himself against Noah’s legs with a purr. Paddy thrummed deep in his chest and the lynx joined him, the delightful texture of fur on fur. There was nothing to wait for, and with a last quick glance back at Noah, they were off and running under the cloudless sky.

It was a perfect night, and the sky was inky black and dotted with stars. There was no moon, and Paddy knew very few of the people left on site would be out in the woods. He chased the lynx into the cover of the trees, the deep green darkness of the pines overhead. Paddy smelt the route before he even felt the tug around his heart, the pull of the scent trail leading them both to the place in the forest that had the most echoes of them both. Paddy ducked under the low branches that opened up into the little copse and rubbed his fur against the pines.

The thick, rich sap smelt of home, but not entirely. Everything here was different, and for the first time, Paddy realised the woods had not replaced the ones at home, and when he left this place, he would never again return to the forest that had been the first he had shared with the man he had come to love. He turned his muzzle skywards and shouted to the stars.

Oh Great Spirits, watch over us and this place. Keep it safe and let everyone else who comes here be as blessed and happy as we are. He looked over at the lynx he loved, sitting soft and patient for him in the centre of the hollow. Let him always know how much I love him.

Troy’s fingers curled into his fur as he changed shape, the freckled young man pushed right up against his big furry chest. Paddy wrapped his arms around the boy he loved and shifted until they were pressed against each other, skin on skin. Troy kissed him, cupping his face, fingers digging into the back of his neck until they were both dizzy. The stars spun overhead as they fell back onto the dry earth, sand stone dust and pine needles sticking to the sweat on their skin.

It was like the first time all over again. They kissed each other between growls and grunts, and Troy whimpered when Paddy bit and sucked at his nipple. They didn’t speak, but Paddy lay back on the ground and pulled his mate down on top of him, his teeth gnashing in pleasure and pain as Troy entered him in one swift deep stroke. The lynx growled in his ear and Paddy felt the love, raw and unbridled, come pouring down the connection to his heart. For weeks he had not understood the connection which bound them, for days they had fought each other over things which now, simply did not matter, and now everything was wonderful and pure and good. He met Troy’s every thrust, rocking his hips without thinking, giving them both maximum pleasure. Troy’s shoulders were tense, his fingers digging into the earth either side of Paddy’s ribs as the bear arched his spine, clamping his thighs around Troy’s hips.

It was inexorable that they would climax together, and Paddy roared as he came, every muscle taught for a second before the waves of relaxation and pleasure overtook him. Troy was silent and still, his pulse racing through them both as he finished. Afterwards they lay, their sweat cooling in the evening air, and stared at nothing but each other as the stars shone overhead. Paddy travelled down the short length of the line in his heart, and without blinking, he and Troy were lying, just as they were, but on a bed of plush green grass, surrounded by trees that smelt of home, the bulk of an ice blue glacier looming in the distance. Everything smelt perfect, smelt of a home neither of them would ever know, a place half Troy and half Paddy. With his lover in his arms, Paddy could think of no better place to fall asleep.

*

Noah had needed to wake Sean with a pint of water and a big handful of headache tablets, but the red-haired chef insisted he was still OK to drive, and told them all at great length about his strange dream involving a bear wearing an opera mask. Once Noah had made him walk up and down a straight line touching his nose with alternate fingers, Troy finally relented. They packed their kit bags into the back of Sean’s jeep, and drove via the hub building to drop off the last of the keys.

“People are going to think you three look right strange.” Noah said with a grin as Sean started the engine up again. “Walking around town with bows over your shoulders.”

Troy had shown them weeks ago how to unstring the bows, wrap them with their quivers and carry them safely. He had packed an extra string into Sean’s bag too, just in case, and promised his lover he would help him learn to make his own. Now Paddy fingered the pine twig in his pocket, the last one he would ever take from the trees in the little copse where he and his lover had first cemented their bond. It was odd to think that in a few days he’d be home, surrounded by the family he missed so much. His grandpa would ruffle his hair, his Da would hug him; his Mam would make a great fuss, tell him he’d lost weight and not been eating right, his grandmam would call him ‘pet’ and act as though he’d never been away. And he would show them the man he loved.

Alternately as they drove into town Paddy was desperate to introduce Troy to his family and deeply scared that somehow they wouldn’t like him. He wasn’t bothered about his cousins, because Troy was quick and vicious enough to fend for himself, but the idea of the slender lynx surrounded by the big men of his maternal family made him worry. Troy felt the concern from his mate, and soft calm poured over Paddy’s anxieties.

“It’ll be fine babe.”

“I ken.”

“Anyway, you’ve got to meet my mum first. She’s gonna love you.”

“Ye ken?” Paddy wrapped his arm around Troy’s shoulders in the back of the jeep. “I’ll look forwards to it.”

“So where am I dropping you boys?” Sean asked. He had the centre console of the jeep already stacked with sweets for the long drive home.

“Train station?” Noah suggested. “There’s a hire place near there and I can get on whichever train is going South next.”

“Ye mean ye daen’t ken where ye goin’?” Paddy was shocked. The mere idea of not having a destination for the night scared him.

“I have some friends from the internet who live near the coast. I’ll go steal a sofa somewhere. Don’t worry about me.”

Paddy reached forward and hugged his friend around the back of the seat.

Sean dropped them at the station with fist bumps and slaps on the back and they waved the jeep off until Sean was out of sight.

“Well then chaps.” Noah said, sounding very British. He paused, grinning. “I am not saying goodbye to you. I’ll get you over to visit.”

“Aye laddie, wi’ll come over.”

“Promise?” Noah frowned at Troy.

“Yes. I promise.” Troy hugged their Canadian friend. “Anything to keep my man happy.”

“Anything?” Paddy was instantly distracted by Troy’s words.

“Yes babe.”

“Right then.” Noah nodded.

The round of manly hugs was ruined by Paddy squeezing him so hard the Canadian thought his ribs might break, and they left Noah laughing, shouldering his kit bag as he went into the station. Paddy slung his bow over his shoulders.

“Wi’d best go an’ rent ourselves a car then babe.”

“You want a truck don’t you?” Troy rolled his eyes as he took his mate’s hand. “I can see it in your eyes. We are not renting another jeep. Uncomfortable fucking things.”

They made an odd pair, walking through the quiet town to the rental place hand in hand with wooden bows over their shoulders, kit bags and hiking boots covered in the clinging sandstone dust of the site. Paddy had worn his casual leather kilt with a t-shirt and the day was warm with a gentle breeze. Troy’s hair, long enough to have been tied back that morning, wafted gently. Paddy touched at their heart string, thinking how wonderfully beautiful his mate looked in the sun.

“It’s just us now huh?” Troy mused as they walked onto the lot of the rental garage. “We really survived a whole summer.”

“An’ nae one found out about us.” Paddy agreed. “An’ we niver got caught havin’ sex in tha woods.”

“Except by Gregg.” Troy sighed. “Does that count?”

“Tha’ was nae a good moment fer us eh pet?” Paddy smiled, and beamed as his eyes caught on a big red Toyota pick-up. “I miss the kid. Let’s go git ourselves some wheels aye?”

“Maybe we’ll have to pick him up and show him a Christmas with actually snow.” Troy took Paddy’s bow as the big Scot put his kit bag by the rentals desk. “We’ll actually have to buy a car at some point.”

“How did ye git here anyways?” Paddy asked while they waited, arms folded on the laminate surface for the sales person.

“I took the train. Your parents drove you? Wow.”

“We’re goin tae hae tae git jobs tae.” Paddy sighed. “I daen’t even ken wha’ ‘tis ye want tae do.”

Troy shrugged fluidly. Paddy had almost become accustomed to the innate feline grace of his mate, the sleek confidence he exuded to everyone. Only he could see the slight worry in Troy’s heart. Paddy wrapped an arm around the man he loved and inhaled the aroma of his hair.

“I liek tha’ smell.”

“So I have discovered.” Troy smiled slyly and arched one brow. “Mum always said there was a good living to be made in bush craft and forestry. Hell, maybe one day I’ll write a book about how to live outdoors.”

“I cannae imagine ye in a book babe.” Paddy kissed the young man’s temple softly. “I think maybe I kinda lieked teachin’.”

“You’d be a great teacher.” Troy elbowed him. “If we can find a school which is entirely outdoors.”

“Just ye wait.” Paddy tickled his mate gently. “It’ll be winter an’ there’ll be fluffy socks an’ cocoa by tha fire. You’ll love it.”

“You trying to turn me into a house cat mister?” Troy feigned shock, but badly. Luckily about then the rental guy finally got off the phone and came to the desk.

“Can I help you?”

“Aye laddie. Ye got an office in Scotland I can drop tha’ big red truck off at in about four days?” Paddy grinned, like everything was easy, and he was surprised to suddenly find that it was.

They still had to drive six hundred miles. Troy still had to tell his mother he wasn’t coming to live at home again. They still had to meet each other’s parents. Neither of them had spent a single night together off the site and they’d never been more than ten miles apart since the moment they’d first met, but somehow, none of it mattered. Paddy had come south in the hopelessly romantic belief he might find the man he was looking for, and he had.

The bear looked over at the lynx he loved, and everything fell into place, because now, everything was easy. They’d won.