Holiday Story Event 2013 - 1. A Christmas Carol: Heart of Stone

Heart of Stone

Rob chewed his lip nervously as he watched his boss work on some paperwork at the far end of the bar. He knew what Stone’s reaction would be to his request yet he was determined to ask. He’d promised Conner he’d ask but this wouldn’t be easy. Stone Carroll had his usual sour look on his face. Tonight’s receipts weren’t as good as he’d anticipated. Rob conjured up his courage and walked over to the scowling man.

“Say, Stone,” he began.

“What?” Stone said looking up at him. There was a distinct look of distaste on his lips. Rob continued on.

“Tomorrow night, you’ve got all of us scheduled and I was wondering if I could the night get off. You see, Lars had another break earlier this week and I promised Conner…”

“You want tomorrow night off, huh?” Stone growled. Rob’s boss had a nasty grin on his face. Reflexively, he winced.

“It’s our only chance to have Christmas with the family and…”

“Whatever. Christmas is just a crock. I don’t know why you and that bitch you married waste all your money on those strays of yours,” Stone smirked. “You can have tomorrow night off, but don’t think I won’t forget that on the next schedule. Tomorrow night has all the lonely queens lining up for drinks and you’ll miss out on the big tips.”

“Thank you, Stone. I appreciate your understanding,” Rob said but underneath, he was seething with anger. How dare his boss call their children, “strays.” He’d have to edit this conversation when he relayed it to Conner. His husband would be so pissed if he knew.

“Get going then, before I change my mind,” Stone said dismissively. Rob was his best bartender but it didn’t matter, not really. The man was right. He had too many people scheduled already. It would save him money, and that’s what really mattered. Stone couldn’t let Rob know that. He watched as Rob finished settling the tabs of his few remaining customers. He listened as the semi-drunk regulars chatted with their favorite barman.

“Got big plans tomorrow night Rob?” a garrulous patron said loudly handing Rob a fifty.

“We’re going to church and then Conner has a big meal planned with the kids,” Rob said flashing the man an earnest smile. “How about you?”

“Going to my sisters,” the big man said in a boozy voice. “Then I’ll come here and spend the rest of my Christmas bonus on some cheer.”

Rob winked at the man and gave him his change. “That’ll be fun. We want to make it extra special for Lars this year.”

“I suppose you’ve already spent your bonus on that poor boy of yours,” the man said, and Stone could see real sadness on the patron’s face as he handed the bartender a twenty dollar tip. What a crock.

“I don’t waste money on bonuses,” Stone said loudly. “Most of the time, they make more than I do.”

“You don’t give them a little something for the holidays?” another customer said, his eyes squinting at Stone.

“Christmas is a crock,” Stone said gathering his papers. He escaped to his office. Stone realized that probably wasn’t the best way to keep a crowd but he hated this season. It was filled with wishful thinking and fake joy and pure nonsense. But, he’d play the crowd for what it’s worth and make a mint off their loneliness and despair. That, after all, was the reason for the season.

Stone grabbed his coat and locked the office door. As he passed by the slurring regulars that Rob was saying goodbye to, he paused. “Give ‘em one on the house Rob. See you guys tomorrow night.”

‘That oughtta bring them back tomorrow night,’ Stone thought, grinned maliciously at their desperate attempt at Christmas cheer. “What a crock,” the bar owner whispered to himself as he headed to his car.

***************************

Christmas Eve Night…

Stone Carroll was sick of all the loud cheer of his customers and so by eight o’clock he’d had enough. He waved goodbye and left the bar. It had been a parade of happy, smiling idiots stopping by after finishing some last minute shopping. His bartenders had been just as giddy and joyful as the patrons. It made him feel nauseated to hear all the “Merry Christmas” and “Happy Holiday” exhortations throughout the evening. ‘What a crock,’ Stone thought as each person grinned and wished him well. There was nothing about this holiday that was joyful.

Stone stopped at the local SuperAmerica gas station and picked up a hot dog and some nachos for dinner. It was a guilty pleasure of his, but one that would probably play hell on his stomach tomorrow. Regardless, Stone enjoyed licking the taco sauce from his fingers as he turned on the television. He channel surfed but most of the stations had some stupid Christmas show playing. Finally, he found some reruns of “Storage Wars” and watched them in the dark. He loved watching as these fools bet on abandoned lockers holding some kind of hidden treasures. Stone liked when they lost their shirts, though it didn’t happen often enough.

He fell asleep in his chair as that moron Barry Weiss sifted through yet another locker that was mostly garbage, a sentiment Stone felt was fitting for life…

********************

“What the..?” Stone said out loud as the patter of feet awoke him in his chair. As he opened his eyes, he saw a figure, wrapped in ribbons, whirl and spin in the shadows. “What’s going on?”

The figure didn’t pause. It continued to dance, ribbons flying in all directions even as it was becoming more solid. Stone sat up and cleared his throat. “How did you get in here?”

The figure continued swirling but a familiar voice came out of it. “I’m here to warn you Stone.”

That was Jake’s voice. But Jake was dead, long since buried. How could this be?

“I’m here to tell you to change your ways Stone,” Jake’s voice said and now Stone could see it was his former partner’s translucent figure spinning wildly before him.

“What are you doing here Jake?” Stone croaked, fear rising within him. “You’re dead.”

“I am. I’ve been sent to tell you three ghosts will come and speak to you tonight,” the wraith said. It didn’t stop dancing. Those damned ribbons were flickering in the low light of the lamp next to Stone’s chair.

“This is nuts,” Stone said clearing his throat. “I’m dreaming.”

“That may be,” the wraith once known as Jake replied. “But, it doesn’t mean you aren’t going to witness some miracles tonight.”

Stone stood up and rubbed his eyes. Why wouldn’t this phantom stop spinning?

“I was a bad man and I’ve been cursed to dance for eternity,” the phantom answered. Stone hadn’t said anything out loud. This was crazy. “After I left you, I only cared for my own pleasure. I used people, did drugs, and even dealt them until it killed me. I threw my life away on meaningless debauchery. You’re selfish too, denying that others matter. It’s killing you.”

“Leave me alone. You’re nothing more than some rancid cheese sauce or a bit of overly spicy taco sauce,” Stone shouted at the apparition.

“Perhaps you’re right but I’ve come to tell you tonight three ghosts will appear to you. They will show you the error of your ways Stone Carroll. Ignore them at your own peril,” the dancing fiend said and began fading away before the man’s eyes. “Don’t ignore them Stone. I always loved you. I tried to forget that or ignore it. That didn’t work. Save yourself.”

And with that, the dancing dervish disappeared. Stone shook his head. He shouldn’t have eaten that greasy, spicy food. Stone looked at the clock and it was after eleven. He should get to bed. Obviously, he’d had a bad dream. Jake was the last person he ever wanted to dream about. That had hurt so badly. Stone took off his clothes and got into some sweats and climbed into bed. ‘What a crock,’ was his last thought as he fell asleep.

**************************

Stone’s eyes flew open as he felt a cold gust of air pass across his face. He looked at his clock radio and it read midnight. He’d only been asleep for an hour. Stone tried to close his eyes again but something glimmering on the other side of the room caught his eye. He sat up and the gleam was getting bigger.

“What the..?” Stone said as the light expanded and became overwhelming. “Who are you?”

It was an enormous man, dressed in a gigantic ball gown, brown and tickling with all different colors of lights, red, green, and yellow. The scent of brandy and brown sugar filled Stone’s nose and it was a sickeningly sweet odor.

“I am the Drag Queen of Christmas Past,” the ghost said in a loud, bass voice.

“Are you dressed like a fruitcake?” Stone heard himself ask.

“Why, yes, yes, I am,” the apparition laughed. “Now get out of bed because we have things to see. There isn’t much time. We must hurry.”

“I’m not getting out of my bed. You’re just a nightmare,” Stone said, but he’d already pulled back the comforter.

“Come,” the drag queen said, gesturing with his big, gnarly hands. “Grab my skirt, there are things you must see.” Stone felt a strange compulsion, like he couldn’t say no or pretend the ghost didn’t exist. He felt he was being pulled out of his warm comfortable bed.

Stone got out of the bed and touched the ghost’s skirt. It felt moist to the touch, but his hand remained dry. In a whirl of colors, he felt his body whisked away from his bedroom.

**********************

Stone felt a jolt and looked over at the drag queen. “Where are we?” he whispered but the man dressed as a fruitcake just nodded toward the window in front of them. Stone peeked through the frosty glass and saw a little boy, little Stone carefully wrapping a gift. The younger version of himself looked up toward the door and said something. The door opened.

A little girl stepped into the room. “Oh, Sarah,” Stone said as he recognized the figure walking into the room. It was his twin sister. She was dressed in a red sweater with little bells on it. Stone felt his heart tightening in his chest. What was going on?

“Stone, let’s exchange gifts early,” he heard Sarah say. She pulled a package from behind her back. It was wrapped gaily with gold and green paper. Stone knew what was in that box. It was a teddy bear his sister had gotten him when they were eight years old.

“Mom and Dad made us promise this year,” little Stone said, smiling shyly. “We both said we’d wait.”

“But, I can’t wait. They can’t make us wrap them up again,” Sarah grinned mischievously.

“You are so bad,” little Stone smirked and then picked up another gift and held it out to his sister. The two quickly ripped the paper from each other’s gifts. Stone had given Sarah a little panda and Sarah got Stone a brown teddy bear wearing a shirt with a race car on it.

Old Stone grunted at the embodiment of this memory. The sight of him hugging his sister was nauseating. It was sweet but sickeningly so.

“I’ve seen enough,” Stone said to the drag queen. “I don’t want to see anymore.”

“Fine. I’ve seen your heart has grown especially cold. Just one more thing to do,” the drag queen said and Stone felt his body lurch forward.

Once again, they were outside a window, but this one was flocked with white and illuminated by strings of sparkling lights. Stone could see a closed sign on the window. Then, he saw Jake, a much younger version, wiping the bar. “This is a crock,” Stone said to the drag queen. “Why are you torturing me with this?”

“Just watch and remember,” the bass voice said urgently.

Stone looked back through the window and saw a twenty-something man approach Jake. Wait, that was a younger Stone and he gave young Jake a kiss. The two men embraced as a few other young men came around the corner carrying things.

“Merry Christmas you bitchy queens,” a voice called out.

“That’s Fitzgerald,” Stone said to the drag queen. “Oh my word, that’s old Fitzgerald done up in his usual Christmas gown.”

Sure enough, his old boss from thirty years ago was resplendent in a red and green dress and Santa hat holding a big bowl of punch. Every Christmas eve, his old boss would close early and the whole staff would have a party, complete with food and booze.

“First things first,” Fitzgerald said loudly and the young bar staff surrounded him. “For those who have other plans, let’s get my presents to you out of the way. I hope you can stay for a while, but I understand if you need to go.” With that, old Fitzgerald handed each person a card. Stone knew exactly what was inside each one; a crisp hundred dollar bill. It was the same every year. The man was a saint.

“That man is now dead. Are you hoping to depress me or something?” Stone groused at the drag queen who simply frowned at him. Stone watched as the younger Stone and the now dead Jake slow danced to Christmas songs playing in the background. If this was supposed to make him suddenly love Christmas, it wasn’t working.

“Take me home,” Stone said firmly.

“As you wish,” the drag queen said sadly. “Touch my gown.”

******************

Stone woke up because the room was oppressively warm. He looked at the clock radio and the red digits told him it was one o’clock. His memory of the old bar and his twin sister were making him uncomfortable but another shimmering in the corner of his bedroom made him sit up and forget his musings.

“I am the Twink of Christmas Present,” Stone heard as the glimmering light came into focus. Sure enough, it was a young, slim man, dressed in a shimmering silver half shirt and blue shorts. He had glistening blond hair with glitter on his cheeks.

“Get out of my room,” Stone commanded and the young boy just sighed.

“We haven’t much time daddy. It won’t be far,” the twink said with a sad smile on his face. He beckoned Stone to follow. The older man got out of bed and approached the ghost.

“Daddy, it’s just the next room.”

Stone felt that same strange compulsion and stepped through the doorway after the boy ghost and into a gaily decorated hall.

***************

“That’s my nephew, Sarah’s son,” Stone said to the twink who simply nodded. Sure enough, Nate Goldman was standing in the hall with his wife chatting about their Christmas party.

“I told you he wouldn’t come,” Tracy said pressing a hand to her husband’s cheek.

“I figured, but I had to invite him. He’s the only family I have left,” Nate said shrugging his shoulders.

“He’s such an unpleasant man anyway. I’m glad he didn’t come,” Tracy said with a shiver.

Stone looked at the twink with disgust. “Is this supposed to make me like Christmas?” The twink gave him another sad smile. He nodded silently to Stone’s nephew.

“He wasn’t always this way,” Nate said to his wife. “I remember when I was a kid he loved life. He just had some rough times and they hardened him.”

“Well, he likes to make everyone else as miserable as he is,” Tracy said. “Let’s join our friends and forget about the old crock.”

“You don’t know him. He changed. When my mom was dying of brain cancer, he spent every afternoon with her holding her hand. Uncle Stone was so good to her,” Nate said.

“I believe you, but having your twin sister die doesn’t excuse becoming a complete and total ass,” Tracy said.

“Uncle Jake left him right after. Mom died a week before Christmas six years ago and his partner of twenty five years left him for another man right after the funeral. My uncle was devastated by it. Jake was the only man he’d ever loved. I think part of him died that Christmas,” Nate explained.

“Well, that still doesn’t mean he has to be such a terrible person,” Tracy answered. “Now, forget about that old crock and come have some fun.”

Nate nodded and followed his wife into the living room. There were people dancing and there was a big Christmas tree festooned with lights and ornaments. Stone could smell the faint scent of turkey and cider but the twink took his hand.

“Daddy, it’s time for you to visit the others.”

Stone turned and followed the twink through the door, into a very cheap looking apartment hallway. All he could smell now were onions and hamburger.

“Did you get the tree?” Stone heard a tired voice ask.

“I found a nice little one that was half price,” Stone recognized that voice, it was his bartender Rob.

“I’m just finishing up the tater tot hot dish and then I’ll come help you decorate it,” Stone heard. The other voice had to be Rob’s bitchy husband Conner. God, he hated that man.

“How’s little Lars feeling?” Rob asked Conner, who appeared dressed neatly in a threadbare sweater and skinny jeans that looked worn.

“He’s doing his best. I don’t know how he stays so upbeat, the poor little guy. Each break seems to take a little more out of him but he’s still such a dear,” Conner said.

“Get Betsy and Rick to start decorating and I’ll carry Lars in here. We can do this as a family.”

“You’re such a good man,” Conner said kissing Rob quickly on the mouth. “I’m glad that crock of shit boss let you off today.”

“Say, don’t talk about Stone that way. He’s had a rough life,” Rob said smiling. “We can’t let people like that get us down.”

“You’re right. I’d rather not think about him tonight. Bad enough he doesn’t give you guys a bonus even after you work so hard.”

“I have a good job and make decent tips. We have a lovely family and Stone helps me provide for us all,” Rob said and left the room. Conner just shook his head, still smiling.

A few moments later, Rob came out of a doorway holding a small boy with an inflatable cast on one leg. In spite of his obvious discomfort, the little guy was simply beaming with excitement. A little girl and an older boy had joined Conner and were handing him ornaments to hang on their half dead little stick of a Christmas tree. Regardless of how shabby the tree was, they were all happy and singing along with the radio. Stone felt a lump in his throat.

“Why do I care about these people?” he asked the twink. The young man sighed.

“No reason I guess. Just thought you’d like to see what Rob comes home to every night.”

“What’s the problem with that little Lars boy?” Stone asked. The tyke was simply adorable.

“He has brittle bone syndrome. His little bones break all the time. Such a sweetheart of a guy though,” the twink said. “Don’t you think he’s cute Daddy?”

Stone was enraptured by the frail looking, dark haired boy taking out ornaments and handing them to his fathers. It was the kind of scene he’d hoped to one day have with Jake. But, that wasn’t going to happen. After all, his former lover was dead, shot by a gangbanger shortly after Jake ran away with Kyle.

“Take me home,” Stone said softly. “I don’t want to see anymore.”

“As you wish,” the twink said and in a swirl of colors both of them disappeared.

*************************

“Crack,” Stone heard and looked at his clock radio. It read two o’clock and then he heard the whip snap again.

“Wake up you bitch,” Stone heard a voice in his head. He looked over and saw a big beast of a man materialize. He was dressed all in tight leather with a ball gag in his mouth.

“I am the Dom of Christmases yet to come,” the voice spoke inside his brain.

“No,” Stone croaked. “I’m not doing this again.”

“You can forget the past. You can ignore the present. But you cannot disregard the future,” the voice said harshly.

Stone felt himself pulled out of bed and into a graveyard. There were hushed, crying voices huddled in a snow covered tent. There was a small, plain casket on a rolling cart. Stone felt his chest tighten and he looked at the ghostly Dom standing next to him. The leatherman nodded toward the gravesite.

“We are gathered here to lay to rest a child who didn’t have much to be thankful for. Yet, in spite of a terrible disease, little Lars was full of life and love and hope,” the minister said. Rob and Conner were crying, openly sobbing and their little girl and boy were holding onto them. “This little angel was only in our lives a short time, but he was an inspiration to us all.”

“Little Lars died?” Stone said, his heart breaking. “How could he have died?”

“Rob and Conner couldn’t afford his treatment. The boy fell and broke his head open. It’s sad because there are treatments for him but some are too callous to help,” the voice said.

“Oh no,” Stone said. “I didn’t know.”

“How could one without ears hear the truth,” the voice whispered. “How could one with a heart of Stone feel for another.”

“But what..?” Stone said but the Dom was gone.

Stone looked around. He was alone in another graveyard, a different one, and no one was around. It was empty and for the first time that strange night, he felt the cold. Stone shivered and saw there were a couple other people standing by another casket. This casket was full sized. Stone recognized two of the three people standing nearby. It was Nate and Tracy.

“It’s so sad no one came to say goodbye,” Nate said softly. “He was a good man once.”

“Well, he never showed it,” Tracy said. “All he ever showed was coldness and contempt.”

“I know. I just wish my uncle had seen what life has to offer.”

“Too late now,” Tracy said. “Let’s get inside. You’re shivering Nate.”

“I feel like my uncle is watching us. It’s like a goose is walking across my grave,” Nate said.

***************************

Stone awoke and looked at the clock. It was Christmas morning and he sat up with a jolt.

“I’m alive,” he exclaimed. “It’s not too late.”

Stone got on the phone with the kosher deli he was using to cater the food for the bar. He excitedly shouted instructions into the receiver. Quickly, Stone showered and dressed racing out of his home and into his car. First he stopped at the ATM and withdrew all he could in one day. Then, he drove to Walmart that was open until noon. Stone had so much to do and for once, he was glad to have a chance to do it.

When he got to the apartment, he saw two young men carrying boxes and bags of food walking up to the door. “Thanks so much for doing this,” Stone said to the men. “Make sure you put a hundred dollar tip on my credit card for yourselves.” The young men looked at him very startled.

“Thanks man. You don’t need to do that,” they both said.

“I don’t need to, I want to,” Stone said and hugged them both.

Conner opened the door and shock crossed his face. “What is all this?” he asked as the two men brought in bags of food and candy.

“This is for your family,” Stone said stepping up to the doorway. “I want you to have the best Christmas ever.” He pressed a couple of bags of toys into Conner’s arms. “These are for your children. Please, have a very Merry Christmas.”

“Conner, what are these men doing and who’s at the door,” Stone heard Rob ask.

“Your boss is here and, I’m not sure what’s going on,” Conner said, confused but smiling.

“Stone, what is this...?”

“Rob, here is three hundred dollars. But, I promise you more is coming. We’re going to get little Lars the treatment he needs and this is only the start,” Stone cried. “I’ve been just terrible. Make sure you spend the whole day and tonight with your family.”

“Stone, thank you but we can’t take all this,” Rob said flustered.

“Oh yes you can. We are going to get that boy help,” Stone gushed. “Have a great day. I have to get to my nephew’s now.”

“Stone, I don’t know what to say except Merry Christmas,” Conner stuttered.

“Merry Christmas to you as well.”

*****************

“Uncle, what are you doing here?”

“I’ve got presents for you and your beautiful wife. I’ve also got a nice turkey dinner coming for your guests tonight. If you’ll have me, I’d love to join you.”

“Of course, I invited you but, what’s gotten into you?” Nate said breathlessly. He took the gifts his uncle handed him, his mouth wide open.

“It’s time I appreciated my life. Now, what time do I come by tonight?” Stone asked.

“Everyone’s coming around eight o’clock,” Tracy said, joining her husband at the door. She was as shocked as he was.

“Cool, then count me in,” Stone said and was gone in a swirl of black cashmere.

********************

Sure enough, later that night, Stone Carroll shocked Nate and Tracy by showing up with a huge roast turkey with all the trimmings. He also had more gifts in his arms and for once the man was beaming with delight.

“What has gotten into you?” Nate gasped as he took the rolling cart with dinner on it. “Last week you told me to get out of your office and now this.”

“Let’s just say something woke me up. I realized that it wasn’t fair to blame my despair on the past. I want to make the future brighter, in whatever way I can,” Stone said grinning with delight. “I want to honor your mother’s memory.”

Nate and Tracy embraced Stone and excitedly chatted about their party. Stone was complimenting their tree and decorations almost gushing in his praise. “I forgot how beautiful Christmas lights really are.”

“I’m glad you changed your mind,” Tracy said carefully watching the transformed man.

Stone even surprised all his nephew’s guests by participating in their games, including “Twerking to the Oldies,” a time honored classic. He danced and joked and laughed with their friends and especially with the children. Stone had brought a little bag of treats that he handed out to all of them.

“I told you he was a good man underneath,” Nate said pulling his wife aside and watching Stone chuckling at an excited daughter of one of their friends. She had chocolate smeared all over her cheeks.

His heart of stone had cracked into pieces and the joy of the world had washed the pebbles away.