Keeping Hope - Prologue. Prologue

Asher Clarke was a 14 year old boy, he had short brown hair, deep blue eyes and a oval face with a olive complexion, but he wasn't you average guy. He liked other guys. He was gay. He had a crush on one of his best mates, Kyle. Kyle was Asher’s definition of HOT. Kyle had long blond hair, bright green eyes and a smile that could charm anyone. The thing was that Kyle was straight and a raging homophobe, just like Asher’s parents. Asher’s Mum and Dad would go on rants about how discussing homosexual people were. They attended anti-gay marches.

This tore young Asher up inside and this started showing on the outside. Asher didn't want to be gay, he wanted to be straight so he took up cutting, burning and pretty much any type of self-harm available to him. Asher started wearing rubber band bracelets to cover up his mutilated wrists the inside of his leg was scared just as much if not worse. He hated himself so much, he felt he was ugly, fat, useless and countless other ideas. Asher got more and more depressed as the months went by. On his 15th birthday he decided enough was enough. He held a massive birthday party, which doubled as a secret goodbye party. He received lots of gifts that day.

That night he wrote letters to Kyle, his parents, his grandparents and his school in hope that they would forgive him for doing this. That night after he finished writing his tear stained letters he found the rope he had prepared earlier. He hung it on the metal bar in his closet. He put a foot stool under the rope and walked up to the rope.

He apologised and placed his head through the loop. His last words were “I’m sorry,” he then stepped off and with a last whimper he died instantly.

The next morning his Mum, Jody walked into his room to wake him up. She noticed he wasn't in his bed. This worried her immensely. She turned around to see her son dangling in his closet. Not moving. She broke down, His Dad Jason, heard the screaming and crying. He walked into his room and went pale instantly. He went towards Jody and embraced her, crying as well. Jason never cried, he thought it was un-manly, but he had an excuse this time. His little brother, Jacob who was 8 ran in to see what all the crying was about.

He saw Asher dangling and ran over to him. “Wake Up! Wake Up Ashie!! Please!” Jason had to pull his little brother away from Asher. His brother was the only one who could get away with calling him ‘Ashie’. Jason had to remove his wife from Asher’s room. Jason noticed the letters on his bed.

After he took Jody and Jacob their youngest, now only son away he made his way back to get the letters. There were ones labeled to Dad, Mum, Nan and Pop, Kyle and his school. His wife had called an ambulance earlier and it had just arrived.

After he was taken away in a black body bag Jason called Asher’s best friend, Kyle. He didn't tell him what happened he just invited him over trying to sound the slightest bit calm. He went to find his wife to tell her that Kyle was coming over. He found Jody silently crying staring out the window holding onto Jacob. They hugged in a group and he informed them that Kyle was coming over. His wife nodded. Jason, Asher’s Dad went to answer the door.

Kyle was standing there looking happy. His face sank when he saw Jason’s tears as he also knew that he never cried. He was instantly worried. Jason ushered him in. He took Kyle into the lounge and told Kyle what had happened and handed Kyle the letter Asher wrote. Kyle broke down, he sprinted to Asher’s room clutching the letter and hugged Asher’s pillow. After a few minutes Jason walked into Asher’s room. He saw what Kyle was doing and instantly walked over to him to hug him. The two guys sat there in the embrace for a few minutes.

Jason invited Kyle to come open the letters with everyone else in the lounge.

He accepted and they went to open them. Kyle was the first to open his letter. He read the first sentence and started crying again, ‘Hey Kyle!’ He pushed past it and read the whole thing. He was shaking by the end of it, not in anger, but self-hate. He felt as if all of this was his fault. His point of view immediately changed.

His parents took their letters to open, Jody’s letter had another one addressed to ‘Jacob’ on it, she didn't give it to him, it said not to give it to him till he was thirteen. She read the letter and went pale. She wasn't really a homophobe. Her husband forced her to be. She now felt that the blame was on her.

Jason read his letter. It was rather hateful.

Jason was torn inside because the letter showed that Asher hated him. From this day forward he promised himself to not be homophobic. They all broke down and never showed everyone their letters fearing they might react badly.

The funeral was simple enough, it was held in the town church. A lot of people turned up to honour Asher. When the speeches started Kyle was up first. He was wearing a black suit with a white shirt, polished shoes and a neon blue tie to honour Asher’s favourite colour.

“My Best Friend, Asher committed suicide a few days ago on the twenty first of August two thousand fourteen, I feel terrible about is as many others do. He did it because he was gay. He did it because he thought nobody would care if he died because he was gay. I now support gay people. I’ll miss his laugh, his smile and his personality so much than you'll ever know. He was an amazing person, he was caring and truly the best friend anyone could hope for. He helped me through a lot of my lows. I can’t believe I didn't notice his pain. He told me in his letter that it isn't my fault, but I can’t stop thinking it is. I’m sorry I let you down Ash, I love you.”

By the end of his speech he had tears flowing down his face and so did many of the others in the room. In his letter to him Mum he requested that the song ‘Battle Born’ by ‘The Killers’ was played as he was taken to the cemetery outside the Church.

He was lowered into the grave as the song played. His family and best friend broke down. Kyle placed a picture of him and Asher a few weeks before he died on his coffin.