Flash stories collection - 3. The Bully

You finally were given the position you have longed for and gone to school for. It has taken you years to realize the nay sayers and people who said you weren’t worth it were wrong. Now as you finally step into the place you want to be your past also rears its head. Your first job applicant to work under you is a name very familiar to you. In fact, it was the bully who made your life a living hell through your school years. Now, their future is in your hands. Are you able to forget the past or is the bully about to get a taste of their own medicine?

Mahogany. Yes, that was it. The intoxicating scent of mahogany penetrated the room every time I opened the door. It was a blissful scent to behold, one of power, and luxury, and one that fit the title of Human Resources Director.

I had finally made it, after years of slaving and kowtowing to whatever idiotic chief-in-charge at the time, I finally bested them all and caught the CEO’s attention enough to become what I called the Overlord of HR. No power trip there, huh? Me? No.

I loved it. I loved everything about it. This was my time at last! Of course, there was also the bonus of being able to pick and choose my first assistant, some hungry kid who wanted my office at some point.

Bring ‘em on.

Over the next two weeks I was inundated with resumes, which I skimmed over and put into stacks. The other girls offered to help, but I didn’t want their ATS to do my search. No sir. This was too personal.

Being a speed reader helped for sure as I read countless name and put them into various piles, when my eyes fell upon a name that seemed familiar. Craig Blust. The last name seemed very familiar as well and my breath hitched. Could it be? Holy shit, could it be the same one that…. No. couldn’t be. That was a common last name, right? Damn I hope so.

My eyes scanned the resume. Impressive credentials, he’d done his homework, or at least paid someone smarter to do it for him enough that he passed. I was surprised, if it was the same guy, that a jackass like that would be a people person at all. Oh well, people change, right? Yeah, I didn’t buy that logic either. I’d bet anything it was the same one who made my life a living hell in grade school. The one that teased me, made fun of me, and was a total jerk to me.

Wow, now wasn’t this quite the turnabout?

I tapped my steepled fingers together and felt ever so smug. I could toss him into the round file and pretend I never saw it; but I knew this was a unique chance to get even with this rube. Of course, no one must know I knew him in my youth; that was skew everything; so I kept that little nugget of knowledge to myself.

What was curious is if he remembered my name…which I doubt he had. It was clear in the job ad, but with my name being different due to marriage; likely not. Oh what a delicious thought that would be….for him to recognize my name and apply just to give me grief and see if I’d actually drag his sorry ass in for an interview. To make a fool of both of us, right? Is that what he wants?

Two can play this game. I kept the resume out and selected five others to contact for an interview. Of course, my underlings did this for me, I was over them after all.

A few days later, the day came. Craig was meeting at 2 o’clock. I fidgeted endlessly after lunch, trying to decide just how I would react to this pita coming into my office, my domain, my turf begging for me to hire him. Ha! The power trip was akin to fresh blood for a vampire, and I was ravenous.

At 1:45, my phone buzzed and they told me he was here. I sent one of my underlings, Katie, to go retrieve the beast…errr, I mean, applicant. My pulse quickened and I knew within minutes that I would be face to face with the bastard who was a complete loser in my eyes. I brought him in merely for sport.

There was a knock on my door and Katie, followed by Craig appeared. I was standing of course, and we were of equal height. He always was an elf. My 5’7” frame easily matched his and I looked to be in far better shape. I did a quick survey of his other unremarkable features. That dull, short hair which had receded, the dark eyes with no life, and the tan skin which was perhaps his only saving grace as far as looks. He had gained considerable weight in that time as well, or given birth. There was a sizeable paunch that strained under his suit jacket. I hoped he’d keep that sucker buttoned; I didn’t want my lunch to reappear.

I extended my hand to the beast. “Craig? Nice to meet you, please sit down.” I rattled off in the phoniest nice tone I could muster.

He sat across from me and I took my chair at my desk again and scooted up as far as I could. My notepad was ready and so were the canned questions that the company liked us to follow. Those were for the record and revealed nothing. I wanted to know about this man’s soul, if he even had one to begin with.

“Have any trouble finding us?” I asked quickly, as I always do.

He shook his head. “No, none at all.” He smiled nervously and I could tell he was nearly out of breath. That walk from the lobby must’ve exhausted the poor creature.

“Would you like some water?” I offered, as per usual. Though I usually didn’t hope they’d choke on it or drown themselves.

At this point I wished I’d turned this over to someone lower than me to do the interview itself. I’d always loathed interviews, always. They were a waste of time as far as I was concerned. To make someone put on their best dog and pony show and a pretty suit to show them what they are not. Deeds and actions were my yardstick, not how attractive they looked or how fake nice they could be.

After getting us both a water bottle and opening them, we took a sip each and caught each other’s eye for a moment. His were so dark I couldn’t tell what they were saying or if he even recognized me. But I knew him, and that’s all that mattered.

“Before we start, tell me about yourself.” This should be good.

He coughed to clear his throat and scooted forward in his chair, looking acutely scared.

“Well, I’ve been a generalist for five years and before that I recruited people for my father’s bakery. I’ve always loved people and talking with them and getting to know them. In my free time I like to golf and go boating with my three kids.”

That was the dullest opener I’d heard in a while, but I kept that opinion to myself. If he read anything non-verbal, he’d know he was screwed already.

“Sounds like fun.” I spat back, but in a nice way. Let’s get to the damn questions.

We spend the next several minutes going over the behavioral-type interview the company had been doing for years. I was never a fan of these as I said, but it was fun watching this fish flounder around like a buffoon. With each “um” or “ah” he spoke I laughed on the inside. He could use Toastmasters or a stick to beat all those filler words outta him. I’d be thrilled to do it personally….well, okay maybe not. I didn’t wanna be near this kid.

After the canned interview was over, I was still waiting for some clue he knew who I was. He was so dumb or blind or something that I wasn’t registering. Hmpf. Go figure.

“Do you have any questions for me?” was always the next part of the show.

He bumbled with his notes and scribbled a few things.

“Where do you see the company in five years?” he stumbled out with a classic.

“We’re growing and not too fast, but steadily. We did over a billion last year and we’re on track to do double that in five years time.”

He seemed impressed, judging by the eyebrow raise.

“What would be expected of me, say the first 30 days?” he read from a pre-fab list of questions.

I had to swallow before answering this one. Besides me wanting to beat the daylights out of him for what he’d done, I withheld that lil tidbit and answered more appropriately.

“There are metrics for this position, certain goals. Our customer is internal, the employees. If they are happy, then the company is happy. You would be measured by how happy you keep people.”

He nodded in understanding. “I love helping people.” He reiterated.

I had to stop my eyes from rolling. “That’s a first step, but it’s all in how you do it and stay on budget and keep the bosses happy too.”

A smile formed on his lips. “I just do my best.”

Simple answer, but it got his point across. I was done or I was going to lose my cool. “Any more questions for me?”

He shook his head. “No, um, I think I’ve run out.”

Of course you did. “Okay, well, I’ve got a few more interviews to do, but we’ll be in touch. Thank you for your time.” I stood and offered a handshake, as usual.

“Okay, thank you.” He seemed totally oblivious.

As he left the office, I let out a breath I’d been holding for far too long and felt like I needed a drink. It’d be easy enough to fire off a letter that said he wasn’t right for it, whatever, but something nagged at me to put this kid through his paces, to make him make things up to me. I could be his worst nightmare.

Oh the quandary!