Prompt Stories - 1. It's just too big!

It was late in the afternoon and I had just come home from trying to catch wild turkey. I was kind of in a bad mood, because I almost had one, but then that son of a bitch ran into a corn field and not only did driving through it at full speed mess up the paintjob of the pretty new looking rental car, but there was also a ditch on the other side and I crashed right into it. The car was stuck, so I left it behind and then I had to walk for three hours before I got back on the main road, where I could finally hitch a ride.

I took off my jacket and opened the kitchen door. The first thing I noticed was the "gift" my cat Snoob Dog had left for me in the middle of the dinner table. It reeked so badly it made me gag. I quickly cleaned up the mess and opened the door and all the windows to air out the horrible smell. Suddenly my cat bolted past me and I saw him heading straight for the backyard, so I hurried after him, but it was already too late. He was standing in front of the lovely red flowers I had just planted the day before and started to rip them to shreds.

"Snoob Dog! What the fuck?!" I said, but he just hissed at me and then continued to destroy my once beautiful garden.

I went back inside and decided to relax on the couch for a while. But when I walked into the living room it looked like several balls of wool had exploded in there and then I realized that it were the remains of my beloved blue sweater. I picked up all the threads and put them on a pile next to the table.

Just when I had made myself comfortable on the couch my gorgeous boyfriend, Jason, came through the door.

"Hi," I said, smiling.

"Hi," he responded and gave me a kiss on the mouth. He didn't sit down though, instead he crossed his arms and frowned at me.

"Please don't tell me you wrecked another car Eric," he said.

"It wasn't my fault this time, I swear. That fucking turkey was unnaturally smart, like it had escaped from some kind of lab where they breed super-turkeys or something."

"Do you think you'll at least be able to find the car again, for once?"

"No?" I answered, laughing, and he had to grin too.

"Can't you just please let this go already?"

"No, you said eating a fresh wild turkey was at the top of your bucket list, because it might remind you of Thanksgiving when you were little and your parents were still alive, so I don't care what it takes, I will fucking catch one for you."

"But running one over with a car obviously doesn't work, so why do you keep trying it that way?"

"You know how I feel about guns, so that doesn't leave me with a lot of options. And it will work, I just need a faster car next time."

"I found a farm, a few miles from here, and they have free-roaming turkeys, which is almost the same thing as wild ones. You can even catch them yourself if you want. Do you have a pen? I'll write down the address for you. What do you say?"

"No, that's like cheating. I wanna do this for you the right way."

That's when he noticed the pile of wool next to the table.

"Was that the blue sweater I gave you for Christmas last year?" he asked, frowning.

"Yeah, I guess I forgot to put it away, but it's no big deal."

"No big deal? I thought you loved that sweater."

"Yeah, I do... I mean, I did. But apparently Snoob Dog really fucking hated it, so, whatcha gonna do, right?"

He sighed.

"Tell me again why you insist on calling him Snoob Dog," he said.

"Cause he's cool... He's a cool cat," I answered, giggling, "See what I did there?"

He grinned and shook his head.

"You know, if you really want to do something for me, you could finally get rid of that horrible creature. I mean, all he ever does is destroying things and you can't even go near him, because he'll lose it and scratch the heck out of you," he said.

"No, I'm sorry, he stays. He's been through so much, he deserves a break and to be loved by someone. And he's just acting out, he'll learn that we're not evil and that he's safe here eventually, and then he'll be sweetest cat you'll ever meet, trust me."

He sighed again.

"Your heart is just too big... And I don't mean that in a good way. More like in a 'your tumor is too big to operate' kind of way."

"Stop complaining and come here, I need to start kissing you, so I'll meet my daily quota," I said, pulled him down onto my lap and gave him a tender kiss on the mouth. "That's 2. 9998 to go."

He laughed and then I kissed him again, longer this time. When we parted we smiled at each other.

Suddenly Snoob Dog walked in, dropped something on the new carpet and hissed.

"Eww, is that a rat?... Oh my god, I think it just moved!" Jason said, alarmed.

"See how sweet he is? He brought us dinner... Thank you so much Snoob Dog, we really appreciate it."

Jason glared at me and then we both burst out laughing.