Blake & Ben (A New Beginning) - 7. Chapter 7 - "We're Tethered Together"

- BLAKE ABEL FOSTER -

Last night was one of the worst nights I’ve had in a long time. I truly thought I was over everything - over the hurt and suffering that Gavin put me through last year. I thought I was over my own self pity. My new found love for Ben has awoken that so-called demon that lies deep in my heart. That demon that tells me, “It’s only a matter of time, Blake. That’s right. Only a matter of time before Ben, too, gets sick of your shit and drops you.”

I want to be happy. Really, I do. But, that demon won’t leave me be. He’s always there, lurking in the shadows and far reaches of my heart. I’m afraid he’ll always be there. Gavin damaged me more than he’ll ever know. Hell, maybe it’s just me. I always get attached way too quickly. I mean, look at me now - I’m head over heels in love with this boy who is holding me in his arms right now. I smile at that thought and the feel of his breath hitting the top of my head.

After last night, I truly believe what Ben tells me. How could I not believe him? Look what he did for me last night. He knew I was hurting, knew I needed him with every fiber of my being. And he took care of me, gave me his love. He wouldn’t know it, due to the darkness of his room, but I cried the entire time he made love to me. The entire scene was so remarkably beautiful. Staind’s cover of Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb” played on repeat on Ben’s laptop the entire time. He played it to help muffle the sounds of our passion, so we wouldn‘t wake up his parents. He was so gentle about everything - God, was he gentle. He took everything slow, letting me feel everything. The scene replays in my head right now, I can still hear the music.

“You’re only coming through in waves. Your lips move, but I can’t hear what you’re saying…

No matter what happens to me, last night will go down as one of the best nights of my life, thanks to Ben. It started off very scary, but he truly healed me - as corny as that may sound. Ben, making love to me, helped quell those horrible thoughts and irrational fears. And now, because of Ben, I am laying here with him and I truly feel comfortably numb. That demon has been sedated and put to bed, locked away somewhere deep in my heart where he’ll never escape again.

I open my eyes and am temporarily blinded by the early morning sun. I squint and blink my eyes numerous times, trying to adjust them to the light. I crane my neck very gently to look up at Ben, hoping I don’t wake him. I fell asleep between his legs, resting my entire upper body upon his. His arms are still around me, hugging my body. His eyelids are closed, mouth slightly ajar, eyes darting around behind his eyelids - rapid eye movement, [I]R.E.M.[/I] Makes me wonder what he’s dreaming about. I hope it’s about me, about us.

Before we fell asleep last night, I asked him to make me one promise.

***

With pleading eyes, illuminated by the streetlights shining in through the blinds of his window, I begged him. “Never let me go, Ben. Please promise me that, baby.”

Ben’s eyes started to well up as he saw the desperation in my eyes. He brushed his thumb across my lips and then brushed the apple of my cheek.

“You remember what you told me earlier today, about how deep my hooks are stuck in you? Baby, I am so completely wrapped up in you, I, too, have a hard time breathing when I’m near you. Hell, even when I think about you, it always takes me a minute to catch my breath. Blake, you and I… we’re tethered together now. We’re two parts of a whole. To rip us apart? That’s not something I want to waste a moment on thinking about. I know, now… hell, I knew it yesterday… I can’t make it without you, Blake. I’ll hold you until you tell me to stop.”

With that, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down onto his chest.

***

And here we are, the dawn of a new day, the dawn of a new Blake. No more will I wallow in the throes of a once broken heart. No longer will I let the demon inside me spew venom into my heart. Today, I am a changed individual. And it’s all thanks to this handsome boy who loves me like no other. I tilt my head down and kiss the middle of his chest.

“God, I love you.” I whisper under my breath.

Ben stirs a little in his sleep, his hand twitching on my right shoulder blade. I smile at the flinch and rest my cheek back down on his chest. Between the mixture of his slow, steady breaths and the beating of his heart, my eyelids begin getting heavy again. But, just as soon as they close, they shoot open again at the sound of someone knocking on his bedroom door.

- BENJAMIN JAXON SMITH -

I am awoken from my deep sleep by Blake’s startled movement and the knock on my door. My glare shifts, in panic, from the door to Blake’s still naked body laying on top of me. I do the only thing I can think of: I get up, throw on a pair of boxers, motion to Blake with my finger to be quiet and toss my heavy, white comforter over him, making him [I]disappear[/I].

I walk over to the door just as I hear my father’s voice. “Ben, why is this door locked?”

I quickly unlock the door and open it. I let out a fake yawn for theatrics then look at my father in the face. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost nine. Why was your door locked?”

I shrug my shoulders, as a look of innocence spreads across my face. “Purely accidental, father dearest. My hand must have pushed the locking mechanism in when I shut my door last night. Sorry.”

“Ben…” Dad says with a you’re-not-fooling-me look on his face, “I’m not stupid. And you didn’t really find the best hiding spot for him. Hello, Blake.”

“Nice to see you again, Doctor Smith.” Blake says, still under the comforter.

I glance back at Blake’s outline under my comforter then back at my Dad with a smile. He puts a stern finger in my face, battling a smile on his own face. “You get him out of here or at least find a better hiding spot before your mother finds him. You know she has a nose like a bloodhound, she’ll sniff him out.”

I giggle under my breath as my Dad winks at me. He really handled my coming out well. So did my Mom, really. They made it very easy for me.

***

I sat down at the kitchen table as Mom readied dinner and dad sat reading Kansas City’s newspaper, The Kansas City Star.

“Says here the Royals are already on a pretty decent winning streak. Sure beats rooting for those worthless Colorado Rockies.” He flipped the page and chuckled under his breath.

I rested my hands on top of the table and began picking at my cuticles. Mom walked over with a bowl of classic iceberg salad and sat it on the table then, rubbed the back of my head.

“Have a good day at the mall with your friend, sweetie?” she asked.

My heart thudded in my chest as I looked down at my left hand, the same hand that Blake held not two hours ago when he drove me home. “Friend…” I thought to myself a little sarcastically. “Do friends of the same sex hold hands? Does one wish he could kiss the other and wonder if the other one wants to kiss him back? Does one friend wish to proclaim his love for the oth-…”

Interrupting my inner thoughts, my Mom spoke up again. “Honey? Did you hear what I asked?”

“Huh?” I asked, a little dumbfounded.

“I asked you, did you have a good time at the mall today with your new friend, Blake? That’s his name, right?”

“Blake… yeah. Right. Mom, sit down for a second. Dad? I need to tell you guys something. Something that’s been eating at me for awhile. And I better say it right now, while I have the courage.”

My parents and I have always had an open, loving relationship. They’ve always told me I could come to them with anything, any time I needed to talk. So, why have I never come to them with my sexual orientation? It’s simple - I’ve never been in lo-…

That’s when it hits me. “Oh, my God. I’m in love with this boy.”

Mom sat down at the table and shared a worried look with my Dad. My Dad returned the look of concern and folded the newspaper before he placed it on the table.

“What is it, bud?” Dad asked.

I took a deep breath, then looked at them both before blurting it out.

“I’m gay.”

They looked at each other and shared some sort of silent communication that I was unable to pick up on. Except for the sound of whatever was cooking on the stove, the silence was almost deafening. I looked down at my hands and began picking at my cuticles again, a nervous habit I’ve always had. Without a word, Mom reached over the table and placed her hand on top of mine. I heard Dad scoot his chair out from the table. Next thing I knew, his hand was on my shoulder.

She brought my attention to her face as she spoke, “Ben, honey. Your father and I… Well, we’ve always known. Or, rather, we assumed you were, hun. I mean, we just noticed the little things, ya’ know?”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?" Then it hits me, why didn't they let Becca ever comes up to my room with me when we lived in Colorado? "Hell, why did you always watch over Becca and I like a hawk if you knew I was gay?”

She shared a look with my father again before looking back at me. “We wanted you to come out on your own terms, Ben. And if going along with your straight façade helped make it easier on you, we decided to treat you as if you were straight. Last thing we wanted to do was stress you out over the whole thing.”

My Dad squeezed my shoulder and put in his two cents. “She speaks the truth, bud. We wanted you to come to us. And regardless of what you think, your mother and I are very proud of you right now.”

My eyes started watering a bit, but I fought back the tears. “Oh, God. You guys aren’t going to be those kind of parents that march in Gay Pride Parades, are you?” I joked, trying to make this situation a little less awkward for myself.

They both chuckled pretty good at that. Dad squeezed my shoulder once more before he returned to his seat. Mom got up and walked back over to the stove top to finish cooking the food.

I felt the burning sensation in my eyes and had to sniff. I really was blessed with amazing parents. You hear so much about other parents disowning their children when the child comes out to them. But, my parents? No. They’re proud that I had the courage to tell them. They have accepted my sexuality long before I confirmed it for them.

Dad sat back down at his seat and propped his glasses on top of his head. “So, are there any boys you’re already ogling since we’ve arrived in Liberty?”

“Really, Dad? Boy talk?”

“Hey, bud. I’m just trying to support you, here. No need to be embarrassed.”

I smile at him as I prepared to drop the bomb on them. I hoped I wasn’t being too presumptuous about Blake’s actions today. We never really came out and said we were in a relationship. But, the hand holding, the kissing… that had to stand for something, right? That had to mean we were an item, didn’t it?

Regardless, I dropped it on them anyway. “Well, if you really want to know. Blake? Yeah… he’s more than just my friend.”

My father’s eyebrows rose. My mother’s neck snapped back to look at me.

“Ben. Please tell me you used protection,” my mother said, as she continued to stir what was in the skillet. From the smell of it, it must be stir-fry.

“Wh-what?” I sputtered, laughing at their worried expression. “Okay. Sorry. I guess I didn’t emphasize. He’s more than my friend - he’s my boyfriend. We held hands, kissed. That’s it. Right hand to God! Scout’s honor. Cross my heart.”

I made an X over my heart as I said the last line.

My mother’s faced seemed to relax a bit after the explanation. “Okay. But, all the same, if he comes over here, you two are not to be up in your room. You guys want to ‘hang out’ in this house, you’re restricted to the first floor - no going upstairs, you hear me?”

I roll my eyes, dramatically. “You’re such a buzz kill, Mom.”

“I’m serious, Benjamin.” Her eyebrows raised in a serious manner.

I looked back at my father for help. He smiled at me and shook his head. Well, no help, there…

“Okay! Okay! We’ll be perfect little angels, promise!”

***

Well, that promise has been tossed out the window. I wanted to respect my mother’s wishes, really, I did. But, last night, when Blake broke down in front of me and desperately needed my love, I couldn’t turn him away. And, to be honest, I’m glad I didn’t. What we shared last night, I’ll never forget. I’ve always heard the term “making love,” and thought it was a bullshit term. ”It’s just sex! That’s all it is - two horny people getting down and going heels to Jesus! It’s nothing more than that!”

But, last night, I experienced first hand what “making love” really is all about. I loved it. It made me pretty emotional. I mean, you’re not supposed to cry during sex, are you? Because I did. Blake’s body against mine, the music softly playing in the background, all that was missing to make it the ultimate cliché were candles lit all over the room.

I chuckle to myself at that last thought. Dad looks at me with a dumbfounded look on his face. “Seriously, Ben. Let’s get him up and out of here before she finds out - she’s still getting ready in the bathroom. So, if you two hurry up, she will never know he was here.”

I can’t help but smile at my Dad. He’s always been so supportive of me in anything I’ve ever done. God, why couldn’t Blake’s Dad be like this? My heart breaks for Blake at that thought. I don’t let it deter me from the happiness of today, though. Blake will be fine. I’ll be there for him, he’ll never be alone.

“Okay, okay! Thanks. Love ya’, Pops!”

Dad cocks a confused eyebrow. “Pops?”

“Yeeeah…” I laugh, bringing the palm of my hand up to my forehead, running my hand through my hair. “Not sure where that came from.”

He smiles and backs away from the door and motions with his thumb to get Blake out of here. I nod and shut the door. I turn around as Blake removes the comforter from his face. He looks over at me and smiles. My heart immediately swells with pride.

I still can’t get over how cute he is. Look at that cute smile! God, I love him.

“So…” Blake says with a smile, “breakfast in bed is out of the picture, I assume?”

I smile at him, completely gushing at this point. “Looks like it, unfortunately.”

He lifts the comforter up and beckons me to him. He’s still naked, so how can I object? Hell, even if he was fully clothed, I still wouldn’t object. I walk over to him and climb back into my bed, laying on top of him this time. He drops the comforter back over us and stares into my eyes. I stare back into his. It feels like we’re communicating without even saying anything.

A smile spreads across my face and I have to ask him, I can’t help myself. Plus, I know what it’ll do to him and I want to see him blush again. “So, serious question, here. How on earth did you get to be so cute?” I lightly tap the tip of his nose with my index finger and just like that, the red color I love to see on him so much returns to his cheeks.

He rubs his cheek as he smiles, causing his eyes to squint. “Dang it! Why do you always do that to me?”

I grab his wrist and pull it away from his face. “No! Don’t rub it away! It only makes you cuter, if it’s even possible for you to get cuter.” I lower my head and plant a kiss on his cheek. Then, without warning, my lips jump down and I blow a raspberry on the side of his neck.

He giggles and cocks his head to the side, trying to push my lips away from his neck. I bring my face up from his neck and look back at his eyes as he continues giggling. I can’t help myself, I chuckle along with him. I slowly become quiet and stare into his eyes.

“I am so crazy, incredibly in love with you, Blake Abel Foster.”

His laughing calms down, but his smile remains as he looks up into my eyes. “Last night was amazing, baby. How can I ever thank you?”

I smile. I‘m glad he enjoyed it as much as I did. “You don’t have to thank me for anything. It was as much for me as it was for you. I only ask this of you, don’t ever go quiet on me like that again. You got me?” He nods, obviously thinking he’s begin scolded. “I don’t mean it like that. I’m not mad, Blake. I was just so incredibly scared. I didn’t know what you were doing, what you were thinking… I was worried, baby. If this is going to work between us, you have to talk to me, okay? No matter what, I’ll always be there for you. I’ll always be in your corner. I’m not going anywhere. You understand that now, right?”

He smiles sheepishly and nods.

“Good,” I say, kissing his forehead and standing up. “Now, as much as I want to keep laying here with you, because, trust me, I could lay here all day, we better get you up and outta’ here before my Mom catches us in here. You don’t want the wrath of Janet Smith coming down on your head, trust me.”

“If it meant one more minute with you, I’d take her wrath. I mean, come on… I’ve had worse.” He licks the cut on his lip - the result from his father’s backhanded slap.

Damn it, Blake. Don’t do that to me. I immediately begin feeling bad for him again. I drop down on my knees in front of the bed and cradle the side of his face with my hand. “I promise, I’ll never let that happen to you again.”

Blake kisses my hand, then nuzzles back into it, smiling blissfully at me. My thumb sweeps across his cheek a few times. He then closes his eyes.

“Oh, no you don’t, mister! Come on! Up, up on your feet,” I say, clapping my hands together a few times. He groans and pulls the comforter back over his head. Just then, his cell phone begins ringing, “Sugar” by Maroon 5 set as his ringtone.

I look at him inquisitively. “'Sugar?' Really?”

He tosses the comforter off his body and leans halfway off the bed, reaching for his discarded jeans. “What? It’s a good song. Ugh! I can’t reach them! Do me favor and grab them for me. Would ya’… SUGAR?” He belts out, trying to match Adam Levine's high-pitched voice.

He chuckles at his cute impersonation as I dig into his pocket and hand him his phone, not looking at the caller ID. Blake glances at it and his demeanor changes from happy and bubbly to serious and sad. He hits the button on the top of the phone to silence the ringtone. “It’s my Dad.”

I remain quiet. I want to tell him to answer it, tell him to hear his Dad out, even though that bastard doesn‘t deserve it. But, I know it’s not my place to tell him to do that. All I can do is support him in his decisions. I run my hand up and down his bare back. He stares at his phone until the incoming call screen disappears and turns into the 'Missed Call (1) - Dad' notification on the locked screen. He looks at it, his demeanor still sad. I want to reach out and hold him. But, at the same time, I don’t want to smother him with my coddling.

He blinks a few times, still staring at his phone. “Fuck him… right?” He looks up at me with longing eyes.

I manage a wan smile and nod to him, still lightly running my hand up and down his back. “If that’s your decision, I’ll back you on it, babe.”

As soon as his demeanor headed south, he perks up again. “Want to go do something today?”

“Sure. What do you have in mind?” I notice him stare down at my crotch. “All in good time, cutie.”

I wink at him as he smiles a devilish grin. “Oh, come on, now. I’m still [I]nakie[/I] under these covers, you know?”

I can’t help myself, I return the grin. “Yes, cutie. I know this. Believe me…” I say, looking up and down his covered body. “I know. Now, if you don’t get out of this bed and get dressed, you’re going to get me into some deep shit with my Mom.”

“Oh! So now that it’s your parents that may be discovering us naked in your room, it’s a different story from what you did to me in my bedroom. I got it. Please… allow me.” He tosses the comforter off his body and gets up with mock anger. He gathers up his clothes and tosses them on the bed.

I stand up as he begins fiddling around with his boxer briefs, trying to determine which side is the front and which is the back. Before he figures it out, I grab his arm and spin him around to me. I place my hand at the small of his back and pull his naked body into my nearly naked body and plant a passionate kiss on him. His tongue enters my mouth as my hand trails down to his ass, grabbing it.

We stand there, making out for a few seconds before I pull away from Blake’s face. His eyes are still closed and he’s teetering a bit. He smiles and opens his eyes. “That was… that was… wow.”

“You’re telling me. Why is it I have this feeling that something’s… coming between us?” I say, looking down at Blake’s hard on.

He follows my gaze then looks back up at me with a smile. “You can’t do something like that to me and not expect me to get, uh, excited.” I go to pull away from him, so he can get dressed, but he pulls me back into him. “And don’t start something if you don’t have intentions of finishing it.” He plants his mouth on my neck and begins kissing it, sending shivers up my body.

Okay, this isn’t funny. My Mom could walk in at any mome-…

Next thing I know, his hand is on my crotch, tugging and stroking on 'Little Benjamin.' “Fuck, Blake…” I moan. I slap his hand away and back up from him. “Okay. You gave me a test of my own medicine, I get it.”

He laughs, scooping up his boxer briefs again. “I’m a man of my word, Benny Boy. I told you I’d pay you back. And... I told you I’d have you trembling.”

“That you did.” I say, adjusting myself in my boxers, watching Blake get dressed.

- BLAKE ABEL FOSTER -

I successfully escaped from Ben's house that morning before his mother found us. It was a close call at one point. Ben had to run interference when his mother exited the bathroom as we were passing by in the hallway. Thank God she didn't spot me.

***

As I approach my house, I still see my mother's vehicle in the driveway.

Shit. I was hoping to avoid this debacle. I know I'm going to be bombarded with all the, "Where were yous?" and the "Why didn't you calls?"

I reluctantly walk through the front door, only stopping briefly to glance back at Ben's house. I close the door, quietly, and walk into the kitchen. Mom is already in her work clothes, her dark blue nurse scrubs - she's an RN at our local hospital. She doesn't hear me approach and she jumps as she spins around with her white thermos of coffee.

She grabs at her chest. "Oh, Blake! You scared the hell out of me. Where have you been, young man?"

I play with a loose thread on my jeans and search for the right words to say. I've never been a good liar, especially when those lies were directed towards my mother. She could always read through the bullshit.

I clear my throat and decide honesty is the best choice. "I, uh... I was at Ben's." My face tenses up, ready for the onslaught I know she's about to lay on me.

"Blake, honey..." she says in a curt tone.

"I know. I know. I'm sorry. I just needed to talk to someone."

She exhales loudly. She knows that's not all that went on. "Then, come wake me up. Blake, honey, I know this is all new to you. But, you're both still young. Just, please, be safe - in more ways than one. You got that?"

I sigh, obviously disturbed at what my mother is implying. "We're being safe, Mom."

"Have you guys already... you know?" She asks, genuinely concerned.

I immediately plug my ears. "Mom! Ugh!"

She smiles and begins gathering up her car keys, stethoscope and thermos of coffee. She walks over to me and plants a kiss on the side of my head.

"My little boy's a man now." She says, winking at me.

I smile and joke back with her. "Go to work, you old hag!"

"Hey! Watch it! I may be an old hag, but I can still kick some ass! Love you, honey. Have a good day."

She leaves through the front door and I feel my heart swell in my chest for my mother. She's amazing. At least I lucked out in that aspect of my parents. I'm still curious as to why my Dad called earlier.

***

Later that day, around noon, I'm sitting alone on the couch, binge watching episodes of 'The Fosters' on Netflix when I hear my text message tone go off. I grab my phone just as a scene featuring the characters Jude and Connor changes to another scene. Bums me out. They're my favorite characters and their scenes are never long enough.

I look down at my phone and see a text message from Ben:

Hey, cutie. U hungry?

To quote the handsome Benjamin Smith when I asked him the same question, "Damn right I am." Lol.

Lmao. Seriously, tho. You want to go get something to eat? My treat!

Right then, I realized I haven't even had breakfast. As soon as Mom left, I sat down on the couch and started my Netflix binge. My stomach growls at the thought of being filled with food.

Free food? Well, that's one way to my heart!

Ok. I'll be there in 10 mins.

I power off my TV and stand up to get my shoes on. That's when I realize I'm still in last night's clothes. Shit. Hope he doesn't mind. My hair is a mess, too. Double shit! I can solve that problem at least. I quickly run upstairs and grab one of my hats. I find a light blue Kansas City Royals hat and put it on backwards.

I make my way back down the stairs and stand by the front door, waiting on Ben. It's only about a few seconds into waiting that I notice I'm literally bouncing up and down on the toes of my feet. Jeez! What has this boy done to me? I'm acting like a friggin' gitty school girl waiting for him. I can't help it. I love him. I look down the street and see Ben walking out of his house. As he gets into his car, I fly out the door. By the time he pulls up, I'm already standing at the curb. I go to open the door, but it's still locked. I sigh a little, wanting to get in his car so I can be with him. He unlocks it and I hop into the passenger seat. I'm immediately all over him, finding his lips with my own.

He has to push me away from him before we get in trouble for indecent exposure. I didn't even realize it, until he pushed me away, but my hand was up his shirt.

Ben is breathing heavy and smiling at me. "Damn, Blake."

I bite my bottom lip, returning the smile. "Sorry." I grab his hand and place it on my chest. "See what you do to me?" Ben smiles down at his hand on my chest. My heart is thudding, pounding with excitement and it's all for and because of Ben.

Ben looks up at me, adoration in his eyes. "You're fuckin' adorable. You know that?" He leans over and places a quick smooch on my lips. "So, where am I taking my boyfriend out to eat?" I feel a warmness in my stomach at his words.

"...my boyfriend..."

I can't help but smile. "What do you think about Chili's? Their food is amazing."

"If that's what the cutie wants, that's what the cutie will get!"

We pull away from my house and Ben turns up his radio a bit, an Ed Sheeran song filling the car. He grabs my hand, intertwining our fingers. He brings them to his face and kisses the back of my hand before resting them both on the middle console. We approach the stop sign at the entrance/exit of the subdivision and notice a cop car, parked, just outside the main street of the neighborhood.

I eyeball it, trying to see which officer is sitting inside, but I'm unable to get a good look as Ben pulls away from the stop sign. Next thing I know, I hear the high-pitched wail of a siren. I look back over my seat and see the police SUV behind us, it's red and blue lights flashing.

Ben eyes his rearview and side mirrors before pulling over to the side of the street. He puts the car in park as he waits for the officer to approach the driver's side window. I keep my eye on the side mirror and see the driver's side door open on the cop car. Suddenly, I see my father step out of the vehicle. My heart sinks to my stomach and I feel like I'm going to vomit.

Ben looks over at me, just as I look over at him. I whip around and glace over my seat and stare at my father as he approaches Ben's vehicle. My father has a cocky smirk on his face as he approaches, his hand resting on top of his holstered duty Glock.

I squeeze Ben's hand.