Prompt Me Senseless - 1. Charlie

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“Go take a shower, while I make you something to eat.” I said to Charlie as he stood there staring me square in the eyes.

I didn’t know what was wrong this time, but in truth, I didn’t care. Charlie was here with me and that was all that mattered.

I know that I should feel like a complete monster for thinking this, but I was glad that Charlie was having problems with his parents. You can argue selfishness on my part. You can argue that if I truly loved him then I’d want what’s best for him, but then I’d have to counter that and say how do you know that what’s best for him isn’t me.

How can you judge me when you don’t share my feelings? How can you judge me when you simply don’t get the electric shock that courses through my veins whenever he gives that warm, genuine smile? How can you judge me when you don’t know what it feels like to forget your past whenever he’s around? How can you judge me when you haven’t experienced the nuclear attraction that supersedes any mundane account of love in this world?

My feelings for Charlie were majestic. Cupid’s arrow must have surely plunged it way into my coal black heart at some point, because from that succinct moment when I saw him at the park, by the pond, feeding the ducks, lonely, I knew that this was the start of a new chapter.

Charlie was an addiction simply put. Charlie was my Ecstasy. Charlie was my Molly. Charlie was my Cocaine. But God knows I’ll fight to death the impending rehab. I wasn’t gonna let Charlie go and if that required the gradual breakdown of the relationship between him and his parents then so be it.

Charlie will be mine.