Hubble Bubble - 7. Chapter 7

The darkness subsides slowly and I blink open my eyes. I feel strangely heavy and for a moment I have no idea where I am. As awareness returns I wonder why I am lying on the floor. The marble is cold under my face and there is something sparkling at the edge of my vision. I blink again and it comes into focus, the shattered shards of the crystal chalice.

With awareness comes memory and I sit up suddenly. “Nick! Woah...” The movement causes my head to swim as I get the strangest feeling, as if I am in two places at once, one about an inch to the side of the other. I sink back and close my eyes until the feeling goes away.

“Sam...”

When I open my eyes again Nick is bending over me. He is wearing a cloak.

“Nick. Are you... you look better.”

“I’m okay. I was worried about you. It’s been ages. They wanted to take me somewhere but I wouldn’t leave you. Lucifer said we couldn’t move you, that it would make it more difficult for you to find your way back into your body. Are you back?”

I smile, the warmth of it beginning deep within and bursting outwards as I realise that Nick is here, he is really here. I have spent so much time mourning him and missing him that it has taken some time to filter through to my thick head that he is alive and, not only that, he is here.

Nick sees the smile and all it means and he mirrors it. Before I have the chance to take a breath he leans forwards and our lips touch. It is only a brief touch, the brushing of his lips against mine, but it is enough to set my body on fire and whatever shreds of me were not wholly seated in my body, are firmly back now.

Nick grunts and sits back on his heels. “I feel like I have been beaten all over.”

“Oh gods, I’m sorry. You shouldn’t be here with me Nick, you should be resting.”

I sit up again and this time my spirit remains firmly where it is supposed to be. Looking around I can see that the room is empty.

“They’re downstairs having tea. Well... the coven is, Lucifer and... the others have gone back to the Summerlands.” He frowns. “Do you know what they are saying about me?”
“I think so. That you are half fey?”

“Half? No, Lucifer told me I am full fey... we are... Lucifer and I...” He stops, his eyes wide, and shivers. “He says we’re brothers. He said that before.”

“Half brothers.”

“That’s enough. Goddess Sam, what does this mean?”

“Trouble, no doubt.”

“You’re not wrong there. Lucifer wanted me to go back with them. He says it isn’t safe here, that they can’t protect me properly. I don’t think I’m ready for that... to go there.”

His eyes are dark, shrouded and he blinks away what could have been tears. I climb to my knees and put my arms around him. He rests his head on my shoulder and we just hold each other for a while. It is easy to get used to being in his arms again.

“Alex says we can stay here for a while. It’s as safe here as it can be anywhere. That’s why he, Lucifer, agreed to leave me and go back. We both have to stay here until he speaks with the Queen and figures out what happens next.” He looks shaken, uncertain, and then suddenly he grins. “I was planning on going home this afternoon.” He winces as some unidentifiable pain catches him by surprise, then shrugs. “Okay, maybe tomorrow. I think I need to rest tonight.”

“I think that might be a very good idea.”

I get to my feet feeling pretty much normal and help Nick to his feet. He is a lot more unsteady as I am and I chastise him for not getting himself to bed. He simply laughs at me and we are still laughing and bantering when we reach the living room. I have paused to get dressed and Nick is wearing my robe, which is not ideal but covers more than the cloak had.

Everyone runs to greet us and we are both swept up and practically carried to the sofa where Ruth clucks around us like a mother hen. Steaming cups of hot chocolate are thrust into our hands and a warm rug wrapped around us. Everyone is talking at once and, after staring around for a while trying to keep up, to keep a grip on what is going on I turn to look at Nick at the same moment he turns to look at me. We see the same confused bewilderment in each other’s eyes and burst into slightly hysterical laughter.

After that things calmed down a little and we found out that essentially nothing had happened after I left my body and, in fact, practically no time had passed. It basically scared the pants off everyone when, barely fifteen minutes after we left, Lucifer, Ariel and Nick stepped back into the circle.

Despite the fact that I wasn’t showing any signs of rousing Lucifer insisted that Alex complete the ritual as it was written, sending everyone back as they had come. Lucifer was very insistent that Nick went back with him, Nick even more insistent he was going nowhere without me. By all accounts Lucifer was going insane; angry that Nick would not do as he was told, worried that he would not be safe, afraid of what the Queen would say if he went back without him. In the end he didn’t really have much choice. Ariel, too was very reluctant to leave but was left with no alternative as the ritual had to be closed properly.

When Alex was telling me about Ariel not wanting to leave it gave me a strange warm glow inside but it turned instantly into a cold lurching dread when I looked at Nick. He was frowning at me, a strange look in his eyes and, when the others eventually drifted away, in ones and twos emerging themselves in their own conversations he went very quiet.

“What’s wrong?”

“Wrong?”

“You’ve been very quiet for a while.”

He picks at a raised thread in the blanket, his head low, shutting himself away from me behind a curtain of hair. I recognise that stance, that silence. I cover his hand with my own and he turns to look at me. He is frowning.

“Who is that boy?”

“What boy?”

“The elemental... Ariel.”

“He’s an elemental called Ariel.” Nick’s frown deepens and I have a sinking feeling that I know where this conversation is going. Oh well, may as well be open about it.

“Okay, where do I start?” Quickly I outline everything that has happened from the moment I saw the two blue eyes watching me during the ritual. I can’t be entirely open but I do tell him that Ariel kissed me and that he has strong feelings for me.

“And what about you? Do you have ‘strong feelings’ for him?”

“Are you jealous?” I smile but he does not return it.

“It appears that I have been gone for two years. You thought I was dead, you all thought I was dead. I couldn’t blame you for moving on. I wouldn’t... but...”

“Nick...” I raise my hand and rest it against the side of his face. He is trembling slightly and there is a suspicious brightness about his eyes. My thumb absently strokes the bruise that still stands out livid on his cheek. “Ariel is a sweet person. I feel a certain responsibility for the fact that he is in the situation he is, being forced to experience emotion for the first time, and to experience such strong ones. I can’t... abandon him... and... and I do consider him to be my friend. He saved us today. He’s saved me more than once. But....”

Raking my fingers through the silky hair I smile and hope that the depth of my feelings are evident in my eyes. “He’s not you Nick. He never will be. I love you with an intensity that frightens me. I thought I would go mad when I believed you were dead. Maybe I did for a time. My heart was dead, cold, and then Ariel woke it. That day at the ritual he... stirred something in me, awoke it... but... but...he was only able to do it because he made me think of you.” I don’t have words, not really. How can I describe how I felt when I found out that he was alive, when I found out they were hurting him, when I thought I would be too late, when we couldn’t break through the spell? How can I put into words the way I feel now?

It appears that I don’t have to because a smile is slowly breaking over his face, like the sun coming out from behind a cloud and spreading golden light over the surface of a clear pool. It is glorious and for a moment I can’t breathe. He is so beautiful, so precious.

“I love you Nick. I like Ariel, he has been a good friend and I kind of love him too, in a way but it’s as a friend, not like you. I never have and I never will love anyone as much as I love you, nowhere near, no chance.”

He leans his head against my shoulder and sighs. I put my arm around him and he snuggles into my side.

“You were jealous weren’t you?”

“I wasn’t. I’m not. I trust you, I always have.”

“Yeah, you were.”

“Hmmm... well maybe just a little.” He looks up with laughing eyes and I have to kiss him. Suddenly there is no one there, no one else in the room, in the world. Nick sighs against me and snuggles deeper into my arms and I melt. This is it. This is the best it could be.

Gradually Nick’s head grows heavier and heavier on my shoulder and I hug him tighter, watching him fall asleep before succumbing and sinking into Lethe’s welcoming embrace myself.

The next three days pass in a blur. Nick grows stronger and stronger and so do I. Despite his comments to me in the ritual room Nick does not suggest leaving Alex’s as it is simply too pleasant. Most of the others left the same day and the rest petered off, the last going this morning. Now there is only Alex, Nick and I.

We are all three sitting in the garden, under the lilac tree. This is Nick’s favourite place. He is lounging on the stone bench, flat on his back with one knee drawn up staring up into the leaves of the tree. He is wearing a dark sweater and black jeans and, in the cold winter light, tinted green where filtered through the tree, his pale skin seems to glow. He looks as inhuman as I have ever seen him and it worries me.

“I wonder why the Queen hasn’t come back to us. She was eager enough to embark on the rescue mission, to engineer it and, before that she had you guarded, Lucifer with you ever minute. It seems strange that she would completely abandon us... well you.”

“I have no idea and I don’t care. I want nothing more to do with them, any of them.” He shivers. “That... thing in the woods. It was fey, it had to be. I don’t want to know.”

“Maybe you won’t have the choice.”

He sits up and stares at me. I expect him to gainsay me but he doesn’t, he just frowns and glares.

“There is always choice.” Alex idly flicks a fallen leaf from his immaculate black sweater. He is always immaculate, is Alex, always immaculate, always contained, always prepared.

“Maybe.”

“The Queen said that your father is a powerful shapeshifter, that he is Lucifer’s father too. That should mean that... I mean if Lucifer can change like that...”

“No. I don’t want to. I don’t want to try.”

“But Nick, if...”

“No!” He gets up and begins to pace. “I told you. I want nothing to do with them. Perhaps I am fey by lineage but I am human by choice. This is the world I want to live in, the life I want to live.”

“But that’s denying...”

“Then I’ll deny it.” I should know better. Nick’s face is wearing that closed look that means he is in no mood to listen to reason. He is angry and unsettled and unhappy about this subject, but I have to keep pushing. Perhaps part of it is because I want him to fight against it, I want him to rebel, I want him to reject that part of himself... because it frightens me... I am terrified about what it will mean for us if he doesn’t.

“You can’t deny what you are. You can't run away from yourself.”

“I can do whatever the hell I like and no one is going to make me be what I don’t want to be.” He stops pacing and picks up a packet of cigarettes from little stone table nestling in the arms of the lilac. From a distance it is almost invisible. Lighting a cigarette he leans back against the trunk of the tree and takes a long deep drag.

“Okay... I suppose I have to accept that I am part fey. I can’t see any reason why they would lie about that. And I suppose it explains why The Merlin was interested in me. After all there are not too many fey in this world any more. On the other hand... why did the Queen put so much energy into protecting me here? Why didn’t she just yank me back into the Summerlands, or even just let him have me? And when he did have me why was he able to bargain for over a year? Why didn’t they just tell him to piss of right at the beginning? I know what the fey are like. They would not hesitate to sacrifice one for the sake of the whole.

“There’s something going on, something about me, something they want from me and whatever it is it is important enough for them to want to keep me alive and keep me close. That makes me very uneasy. I don’t like people like them knowing more about me than I know about myself.” He shifts uneasily, taking another long drag on his cigarette.

“Maybe I will have to go there eventually and find out what this is all about but one thing I am DAMNED sure of... it’s going to be on MY terms.” Flicking away the cigarette he stalks down to the bottom of the garden, towards the river that marks its end.

“I wouldn’t like to be the person what has to try and convince him to do whatever it is they want him to do. He is going to resist just to be bloody minded.”

“I think that is a very healthy attitude to have when dealing with the fey. Whatever they say they are spoiled and fickle and amoral and...”

“Childish?”

“Yeah... why do you say it like that?” Alex is looking past me, towards Nick, a strange look on his face. He nods towards him and I turn. Nick is half turned towards me talking to someone, someone who wasn’t there a moment ago.

It looks like a child but I know it isn’t. There is a faint glow around the tiny figure whose head reaches to slightly above Nick’s waist. Long, pale green hair ripples in deep waves over shoulders that are impossibly slender and on which dance incandescent wings that are almost as big as the whole of the rest of her. The wings flutter and dance and I realise that she is hovering about three inches above the floor.

I get to my feet and hurry down towards Nick and the glowing figure but, just before I reach them the light around the fey creature intensifies and then winks out and she is gone.

“What did she want?”

Nick turns and holds out his hand in which nestles a small golden acorn. “Apparently we have been invited to a ball and this is our invitation, ticket, way in, whatever.”

“A ball?”

“Yep. A ball, a party, a dance. Tonight.”

“This evening? But...”

“Yeah, she’s not giving us very long to think about it. Someone is coming for us at dusk.”

“You mean, like in an hour?”

“Would seem so.”

“Then hadn’t we better be getting ready?”

“If we’re going.” He is frowning, staring at the tiny golden acorn.

“Are you thinking of not going?”

“I’m thinking about it, yes. Have you thought that once they get us into the Summerlands they might be able to make it difficult to get back?”

“But if you are fey, you should be able to move back and fore as easily as they do.”

“Hmm. Eventually. I don’t trust them Sam. I just don’t trust them.”

“It’s up to you. If you want to go we’ll go; if not then we won’t.”

He catches me completely by surprise when he pulls me roughly into his arms and kisses me with a passion he has not shown since his return. “You are amazing. I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” He pulls away and stares into my eyes. I can see the battle going on behind the violet eyes and I simply smile and wait patiently. It is a battle he has to fight for himself.

Finally Nick nods his head, his face taking on a determined look and his eyes glittering dangerously. “Alright. We’ll go. I have to admit that I am curious. I want answers and I suppose the only way I am going to get them is to ask the Queen direct.”

My pulse quickens. I would have accepted his decision absolutely, whatever it had been, but I had been secretly hoping that he would decide to go. I have heard of the fey balls and the thought excites me. Also I have to admit to having a number of questions I would like to ask the Queen myself.

“What do you wear to a fey ball?”

“I have absolutely no idea. It doesn’t really make much difference anyway does it? Neither of us actually has any other clothes so we’ll just have to go in what we have on.”

“Will you hell?” Alex is on his feet looking excited too. “I have far too many clothes. I am a hoarder and I have kept wardrobes full of stuff that, if I am honest, I know I am never going to fit into again.” He frowns, sizing us up closely with his eyes.

“Hmm... Sam, you’re no problem. I was built like you once. Nick, you might find things a bit... short. Hmm...maybe the chest in the attic...” Pinching his lip he looks up and grins. “Go get a shower and leave it with me.”

We are both excited now and we run for the house, racing each other. Nick has longer legs but he is still lacking in condition and, for the first time in years I beat him to the door. He grabs me around the waist and swings me out of the way so that he gets through the door first. Sprinting for the stairs he takes them two at a time with me right at his heels. On the landing I overtake him and am within yards of the door when I hear a cry from behind.

Turning, my heart drops to see Nick, doubled over, gripping the landing rail. “Nick!” I run back to him and put my arm around his shoulder but, in that instant he pushes off from the rail and shoots across the landing, skidding slightly as he careers into the door of the room we are sharing, tears it open and then slams it behind him.

Laughing I race after him but by the time I get to the door it is closed and locked. I hammer on the wood, helpless with laughter.

“You cheat. You bloody cheat. Open the door. Nick... open the door.”

There is silence from inside and, after hammering the door hopelessly for a while I actually think to try the lock again to find that it was open all the time. Grinning I slip inside. I can hear the shower running in the bathroom and I consider joining Nick however, in the end I drift over to the window and stare out at the garden, feeling mellow and happy if slightly on edge at the thought of going back to the Summerlands and all that entails. It does not escape my attention that I will probably see Ariel tonight.

The colours are muted by the failing of the sun. It is already low on the horizon, even though it is early, all that can be expected of November. There is a slight haze at the bottom, over the river, as though the boundary is already opening, letting through the magical light of the fey. Water does that. It often acts as a boundary whether it wants to or not.

I wonder about what the ball will be like. It is quite exciting despite everything. I have always had a flare for the dramatic and like a bit of pomp and show. I would be surprised if anything organised by the faery Queen was dull.

I am so lost in my musings that I don’t hear the water stop. I don’t hear the soft footfalls. I am aware of nothing until the long fingers, still damp, slip into my hair and draw it back. I tilt my head slightly to the side allowing Nick to stroke my neck and shoulder. I close my eyes and lose myself in the sensations.

Hair dripping wet, Nick lowers his head and nibbles my neck. This is something that both of us have a ‘thing’ for and my toes curl as his breath tickles my ear. “Fuck Sam... you are so godsdamed sexy, I am beginning to change my mind about this ball.”

His arms slip around my waist and he laps at the droplets of water that have dripped off his hair onto my skin. Deep shivers run through me from the crown of my head to my root and my cock twitches in my trousers. Almost as if he reads my mind he slides his hand downwards, pulling my hips towards him as he nuzzles into my neck and bites gently.

Groaning I melt into him, my bones turning to rubber and my flesh to jelly under his lips and hands. My head, resting on his shoulder, falls back as he bites harder and he grabs me, massaging over my trousers and making me squirm and moan.

Unable to bear it any more I turn to face him and I can’t keep my hands off him. The towel which he was wearing around his waist falls to the floor as I reach around and crush him, into me. I hear his breath expelled as I drive it from his lungs and he chuckles.

“Steady on. I’m still a little sore.”

“Not as much as you’re going to be.”

I grind my lips against his and his hips against mine and his arms tighten around me, returning my passion and then some. He is so strong, so powerful. I have never noticed it before but now, even though he is still weakened, even though he is still rejecting his nature, he fairly throbs with power; it crackles in his hair, it flows through his veins, it shines from his eyes. It takes my breath away.

It was inevitable where our embrace was leading but, before we could get any further there was a loud knock at the door. At first we ignored it but it then became a pounding and a hammering. Eventually Alex calls out, exasperated.

“Whatever you are getting up to in there, if you are wanting to make it to the ball and, more importantly, if you want these clothes then you had better open the bloody door before I chuck the whole bloody lot over the banister.”

Laughing we part and gaze into each other’s eyes. He is smiling and so am I but I am sure that my eyes are not so bright, so wide and so incredibly, awesomely beautiful.

With a last kiss he releases me and picks up the towel. He is fastening it around his waist as he strides across the room and all I can do is stand and stare, with a stupid smile on my face. I admit, I am worshipping him. I almost expect to see flowers spring up where his feet have been. Every part of him is perfect and I want so badly to touch him.

Alex staggers into the room, almost invisible under armfuls of clothes, which he dumps unceremoniously onto the bed. He comes up grinning. When his eyes soak up the sight of a semi naked Nick he exaggeratedly covers his eyes with his hands, fingers splayed and a huge grin splashed all over his face.

And then his grin fades and he drops his hands. The smile that replaces the grin is wistful and distant.

“Gods I have missed this. You two are amazing. I can’t even begin...” He stops looking choked up. He puts a hand on Nick’s shoulder, his eyes tearing up. “It’s good to have you back Nick. Take care of yourself tonight. I don’t want to have to go through losing you again.”

“Not going to happen mate.”

Alex nods and turns. As the door closes Nick turns, grins at me and shrugs. Then he dives into the pile of clothes. “You should get yourself into the shower or you won’t be ready in time and I might have to go without you.”

“Shoddy attempt to get all the best clothes.”

Nevertheless I step into the shower, dropping all my clothes in a pile on the floor. The stinging water feels so good and I luxuriate for a while my mind filled with Nick. I soap myself vigorously trying to control the obvious signs of what I would rather be doing than going to a ball.

When I get out of the shower I rub my hair and give myself a quick towelling then hurry back into the other room, already missing Nick. I open the door and stop stock still, my heart lurching. Nick is standing in the window, the dying sun behind him and he half turns as I walk in. His hair is brushed until is shines like black glass and is caught behind his head in a velvet ribbon.

I had thought that he would be wearing a formal tux but that was never Nick’s style. He has selected black leather trousers that are so tight they might have been painted on, the lack of length covered up with long black leather buckle boots; a loose white linen shirt, laced at the front with a black ribbon and a long black frock coat. He is, quite simply, breathtaking.

“Come on you. Get your clothes on. The sun’s going down and we need to be by the river very soon.”

Alex has given us enough clothes for six men. I rifle through the pile and pick a black suit and white shirt which is far more conservative than Nick’s but then, so am I.

When we are about to leave I find myself swung up into his arms and he is laughing down at me, his eyes sparkling. I can feel his excitement and he expresses it in the most ‘passionate but at the same time chaste’ kiss I have ever experienced. It takes my breath away and then he walks away from me, laughing.

Side by side we walk down the stairs. Alex is in the kitchen but comes out when he hears us. He pauses with one hand on the doorframe.

“My, my but aren’t you the handsome couple.” He hurries forwards and briefly embraces us, each in turn. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you back. You may not realise this Nick but after... when he thought you were dead there was something in Sam that died too. We tried our very best, but he lost his heart and there was nothing we could do to stop him slipping away. To see you both back, both so well and strong and beautiful... Be careful. You can’t trust the fey. Whatever else they are they deal in illusion and deceit. Come back to us safe and we will make sure you stay safe.”

Nick laughed lightly and impulsively hugged Alex, kissing him briefly. “We’ll be back. Not sure when and how but you can count on it... we’ll be back.”