The Last Out - 7. Chapter 7

Lunch in the library wasn’t really what I had in mind with my day today, but then I didn’t really expect to have half the school chasing me down, trying to beat the shit out of me. I also didn’t really expect to come to school and find out Sean was dead hours after I was in his house, being blackmailed into sucking his cock and getting fucked by him. I couldn’t really believe that he was dead, especially since there wasn’t any reason for him to have gone out last night… unless he was going to share the pictures. That would definitely explain some of why the rest of the people were so mad at me, especially Annabelle. They either already saw the pictures or they were going to see the pictures, and it certainly seems like at least Annabelle had seen the pictures, so he lied to me and now I can’t even tell him how much he’s going to have ruined my life because he made things worse by making me look like I killed him now.

I started winding my way between the bookshelves, looking for Alex. I knew he’d be in his usual corner out by the window and far away from the door. I couldn’t blame him. It was quiet in that corner, there wasn’t anyone who normally went there because the books weren’t helpful for most courses, and students in general didn’t really go out of their way to head to the library to begin with, so they weren’t going to go specifically to the back corner away from everything even remotely interesting just to bother a freshman.

As expected, I found Alex over by the old newspaper archives. I’m not even sure why we had those in the school, but they were bulky and a perfect place to have a conversation that you didn’t want to have overheard by people who had a problem with you. I wasn’t even sure what I was going to do yet, but I needed to think quickly since I could see him and he just waved me over. I walked on over and took a seat in the chair across the little work table from him.

Alex leaned forward and placed his elbows on the desk, lowering his voice even though there was no one around as far as we could tell.

“So what’s going on Devin? I haven’t seen you this jumpy ever before, and what was with the big group after you and Principal Barrett and Annabelle? They say you killed Sean or something? I couldn’t figure out what they were going on about, so what’s the story?”

As he spoke, Alex started to talk faster and faster, and he also got louder as well, as though he was really eager to find out some gossip before everyone else did. I guess it was gossip now too, since everyone was talking about it and it’s now the big story of the year at school.

“Well, that was a lot of questions at once now wasn’t it? Where to begin, since you gave me about three seconds to actually try and respond before you started bombarding me with more questions” I replied.

“So, first of all, I didn’t kill Sean, I only just found out about it when that psychopath Annabelle started freaking out at me in the courtyard. I don’t entirely believe that he’s dead, but I guess we just have to take what everyone’s been saying as true until we can get home and watch the news or something.”

I continued on, not really giving Alex much of a chance to absorb the information I was giving him.

“Look, I need you to be serious for a second.” Alex gave me a look, as if to say that he was always serious. “I mean more serious than this, I have something I want to talk to you about, and it will probably help explain everything that’s happening. I don’t know what to do and you’re better with people and things than me, so maybe you’ll know an idea that I won’t have come up with.”

“I…” I faltered, not really sure how to say this and realizing that I had to say something to someone before I went crazy, and I knew that Alex would be nice about it after I told him everything. I think he would be nice to me, at least.

“I had sex with Sean.”

Alex just stared at me, completely incredulous and stunned by what I said. He yelled out

“You had SEX with him!? But you’re a guy, you’re straight!”

“Quiet man! Jeez, tell everyone why don’t you? I told you to be serious, and the first thing you do is flip out and tell the whole library my secret. Thank god it’s lunch and no one’s in here except us anyway.”

“Okay, I’m sorry. It’s just a lot to take in, you never told me you were gay or bi or anything like that” Alex retorted to me.

“I didn’t think I was, okay! Sean said he caught me checking out him and some of the other guys on the team, and he threatened to tell everyone if I didn’t do what he said. You know what the team’s like, it would have made my life a living hell. So I did it, and it started with sucking him off and got worse from there.”

“The last time it happened I got really hard, and I don’t know how but he made me cum and I don’t want to talk about what we were doing, except that I shot a load so I guess I have to be gay because otherwise why would I LIKE what he was doing? I’m so confused about this and now this is all happening and everyone hates me anyway.”

I was starting to get ragged in my breathing and my voice was breaking, but now that I had gotten started I had to tell Alex everything and get the story off my chest.

“He keeps blackmailing me, and at first it was just the threat of violence but now he’s got pictures of what we were doing and I don’t even know what happened to those pictures. I know that Parker was there last time I had to do what he wanted and he was even more evil than last time, so I don’t know if that means that Sean showed people the pictures, but that would mean he broke his promise to me that he wouldn’t tell everyone, so I’m really scared and if people know then they’re going to use this as a reason to say I killed Sean.”

I was starting to hyperventilate now, so I didn’t notice that Alex had moved over to my side of the table. What happened next completely blew me away.

Alex was kissing me.

This was so different than when Sean would force me to suck him. This time the flesh against my lips was softer, less insistent and much less forceful. It was something different, and I didn’t know what to think of it so I just didn’t do anything until he realized that I wasn’t sure what to do and stepped away. I pushed him away, not wanting to think about what it would mean if he kept kissing me.

He looked disappointed. “Devin, I’m gay too. It’s okay, you’ll see that it’s going to be okay. All of this that happened doesn’t mean anything and it doesn’t mean that you’re going to be treated badly here.”

Alex sat back down in his seat. He was red faced and breathing heavily, and I was doing the same. We just stared at each other for a few seconds, each thinking about what had just happened and what we were going to do next.

I found myself watch Alex as he spoke, noticing different things about him that I hadn’t seen before, and realizing that I was starting to look at him the way I looked at Sean. This wasn’t right. I still didn’t really appreciate the idea that I might be into dudes. Sean was different. That was just one athlete admiring the body of another athlete. If I were to start looking at Alex that way…

I mean, Alex was cute, I guess. A bit shorter than me, but I guess that makes sense since he’s only fourteen and I’m seventeen. He’s nothing like Sean though. Sean was muscular and you could tell that he played sports for his living. Alex was slender, and you could just as easily tell that he didn’t play sports of any kind. But why was I even thinking this, I wasn’t attracted to guys anyway. So why was I still staring?

Alex started to move closer, and I started to panic, I didn’t want to deal with this, I didn’t want to be gay or bi or whatever he was. I wanted to be straight and have a girlfriend and have kids and do everything that everyone who’s happy expects to do. I heard him speak and then I completely lost it and panicked.

“Devin, I~”

”NO! Don’t say it, whatever it is I don’t want to hear it.”

I didn’t give him a chance to respond. I got up and ran away. Away from someone who just heard all my problems and tried to make things better. If I had looked back, I would have seen that Alex looked like his world had been taken away from him. But I didn’t look back, all I did was keep running away from the idea that I might actually like another dude.