Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
About Carl - 13. Epilogue: The Butterfly Effect
That song “Goodbye” was playing on the car radio. It was the song I listened to after I saw Carl for the last time. Almost eight years have gone by, and now I don't think about him very often, about how he's moving down a separate path from me, without me. But every now and then a smell, a photograph, or a song triggers something in me, and the memories come flooding back.
I remember holdin' on to you,
All them long and lonely nights I put you through,
Somewhere in there I'm sure I made you cry,
But I can't remember if we said goodbye.
I pulled my truck to the side of the road. I sat, teary-eyed, watching the windshield wipers clear away the snow. I thought sadly about my time with Carl, about the years I had waited for him, hoping somehow to build a life with him, always to be hurt and disappointed. I thought about how my relationship with him had delayed my own growth and had diverted me for so long from the path to an emotionally fulfilling life. I thought about how much I had loved him. These were memories that I had successfully packed away years ago, but they reappeared unbidden at times like this, like an uninvited guest at a party. I wondered what he was doing now.
My cell phone buzzed in my coat pocket. I pulled it out and thumbed open the screen; it was a text message. I touched the icon: Dan.
Hi babe: @ the house - ur out of cream - can u pick some up on ur way home?
I smiled; he was waiting for me at home. I could imagine him in the kitchen making a pot of coffee, feeding the dog, putting the bottle of wine he always brought with him in the fridge. He had driven up from Toronto for the weekend, like he did most weeks when I wasn't joining him in the city. It was a pattern we had settled into years ago, and, despite the physical distance between us, balancing his demanding job in the city with my career in Selkirk County somehow worked. We had nothing planned for the weekend other than cooking meals together, walking the dog, curling up on the sofa in front of the TV, and making passionate, wonderful love to each other.
I love Dan. His presence in my life makes me unbelievably happy in a way I never thought was possible. It occurs to me that life is contingent on so many unpredictable random events. I never would have met Dan if it hadn't been for my tumultuous relationship with Carl all those years. That meeting with Carl so long ago at a summer job when I was a university student sent me down a path that led eventually to Dan. It was like the Butterfly Effect, the flap of a butterfly's wing in China causing a cascade of connected events that creates a storm in the Caribbean. Or, in this case, a beautiful sunrise.
For that, Carl, I thank you.
Thanks to Drak who edited the early chapters, and to rec and Parker Owens for beta reading. A big thank you to rec for taking me on and acting as my editor. I've learned so much about writing by working with all of you.
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Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
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