A Chance Encounter - 1. Story

A Chance Encounter

by jian_sierra

 

I slowly made my way down to the subway station unaffected by the rush of people around me. This was the main reason I chose my current job, although the pay wasn’t the highest in the market. The schedule was flexible which gave me the feeling of being in control of my own time. Granted it was actually only an abstract control since I still needed to complete eight hours per day. But I valued the sense of freedom it provided. It made work fun for me.

 

I always enjoyed the walk from my apartment to the subway station and this day was no exception. The sun shone bright and warm, but the occasional soft breeze made the weather pleasant. As usual, I took the long way towards the subway station, the one which ran through the park. I love parks probably because I love nature, and in a city, this was the closest thing. It was just so beautiful: trees of all shapes and sizes, some ancient, giving one the feeling they had been in the park forever, and some newly planted. Green bermuda grass covered most of the park grounds except for the pavement made for runners, cyclists, skateboarders and rollerbladers, and a large lake sparkled in the morning summer sun. (I enjoyed crossing the wooden bridge to get to the other side of the lake, it was a bit nostalgic). And of course the people. I loved being around people and enjoyed watching them—they were just so unpredictable, which held some sort of fascination over me.

 

The next train was due shortly, so I found an empty seat on a bench to wait. The last train left minutes ago, but I decided not to get on, although I could probably have made it. The almost empty station after the morning rush was quite peaceful and the few people that remained (mostly those which didn’t make the last one) were very interesting to observe. An old lady kept muttering to herself and jerking her hand toward the tunnel the train had disappeared. Down from her, a good-looking young woman entertained her baby, pushing a navy stroller back and forth. And closest to me, a handsome man, my own age probably, shoved his hands in his pockets. I couldn’t help but smile as I looked at him. His brows were creased, his lips were a bit pouted and he kept looking to his right as if he couldn’t wait for the next train to arrive. There was something about him which made me want to watch him all the more.

 

I had always been attracted to guys, I knew that since high school, but I never did anything about it. This impatient guy, well he was the kind anyone would notice. He stood tall with broad shoulders and his back was impressive. I felt myself blush as my attention focused on his plump ass so I unwillingly let my eyes wander down his thick thighs. I was distracted when he suddenly turned around, and when I looked up to his face, he was looking back at me. He’d just caught me checking him out, and to make matters worse, he was slowly approaching me. I was near panic.

 

I dared to look at his face again, and he didn’t seem annoyed. He sat down beside me on the bench, a little too close to my liking. Should I just ignore him? But he caught me watching him? What should I say, ‘Hi, I think you’re hot?’

 

I was about to say something, although I still had no idea what, but he beat me to it.

 

“Hey do you have a phone I could borrow?” he said in a deep voice. As we were rather close together, his body scent almost knocked me over. He smelled slightly of shampoo, soap, aftershave and light cologne. The combination was pleasant, almost enticing.

 

In spite of my slightly growing attraction to this mystery guy, I was still wary. He wore black fitting shirt, defining his chest perfectly, and faded blue jeans which looked a bit small for him. Well, he was dressed like a mugger. It was only when I looked at his kind green eyes that I knew he meant no harm. I fished for my iPhone and handed it to him without a word. He dialed a number and the person on the other line picked up after a while.

 

Hi, it’s Nate.

 

I’m sorry, babe. I missed the train. The next one won’t come for another 15 minutes.

 

I’ll try to be there as soon as I can. I’ll see you then. I love you.

 

He hung up. I wanted to look at him, but didn’t want to risk it. He handed me the phone. I took it again without saying anything. Babe? I felt a little sad which was weird. Surely I didn’t think that something would happen with this guy, right?

 

“Thanks. I’m Nate, by the way,” he said, offering his right hand to me. I smiled slightly. I wanted to tell him I already knew his name because I couldn’t help but overhear his conversation. Instead, I shook the hand he offered me.

 

“I’m Bill,” I said. I figured this was a good chance to study his face so I did. His lips were pink and soft. A dimple crinkled his right cheek when he smiled. In fact, his face was almost perfect except for his button nose. He would have looked absolutely ravishing if it were bigger.

 

“Sorry you missed the train,” I said before I could stop myself. Now he knew I’d been listening to his conversation.

 

An amused smile appeared on his lips. “Yeah, it’s a bummer. Can’t do anything about it now. You don’t look worried that you missed it though,” he commented as he looked at my satin long-sleeved white polo shirt, plain dark blue tie and black formal pants.

 

I smiled and just shrugged. “I’m a laid back kind of guy so I don’t like rushing things.”

 

He nodded his head in understanding. “Are you from around here?” he asked.

 

“Yeah, I live in an apartment 15 minutes from this station.”

 

“Cool, mind telling me places I could visit? It’s my first time in this city and well I got off at the wrong station,” he admitted shyly. “Since my fiancée knows where I am there’s no harm in exploring this part of the city.”

 

Fiancée?

 

“I could show you around if you want,” I offered.

 

“You would?” he asked surprised while I asked myself the same thing. What was happening to me?

 

“Um, yeah, well it’s your first time here after all. I don’t want you to get lost or something. I’ll feel a little bit responsible.” That was lame. Really, really lame.

 

I was surprised when he said, “Let’s go then.” He smiled at me thankfully and I felt myself blush. The old lady and young woman both looked in our direction, but I ignored them. There wasn’t anything wrong with flirting with another guy, was there?

 

We both got up and made our way out of the station. Nate looked appreciatively around as soon as we were outside.

 

“Wow, I’ve never seen so many cars and people. Why didn’t I think of taking a cab instead?” he mused loudly.

 

“Well unless you want to be stuck in a cab because of the horrendous traffic, I suggest you stick to the train. It’s faster and cheaper.”

 

“Thanks for the advice, man. Where do we go first?” He beamed with so much enthusiasm.

 

“Is it ok if we go back to my apartment first? I really need to change into something more comfortable.”

 

“Sure, no prob. Should I get a cab for us?” We stood on the pavement and Nate was basked in sunlight. He looked so handsome with the light illuminating his blonde hair. Almost angelic.

 

“Um would you mind if we walk?” He looked slightly doubtful. “It’s not that far. It’s a 15-minute walk to your right. Or we can go through the park but it will take longer.”

 

He didn’t even look to his right, but focused immediately on the park. He was smiling when he looked back at me. He was, without a doubt, very attractive.

 

“You’re not in any hurry to go home, are you?” he asked. “Because I definitely want to explore this park.” His smile was infectious so I was smiling with him as we crossed the road and entered the park.

 

He looked like a kid as he took in the park with wonder in his eyes.

 

“Just go where you want to and I’ll follow.” He was already moving before I’d even finished. I trailed behind him as he went towards the lake.

 

“This is absolutely beautiful,” he said as I caught up to him. We stood a few feet away from the edge of the lake, the sparkling clear waters of the lake reflecting in his eyes.

 

“Yeah,” I agreed although my attention was focused on him instead of the lake. I was glad he didn’t notice though.

 

He saw a bench nearby and motioned for us to go there. Absent-mindedly, I followed. I just couldn’t understand my actions. I was following this guy like a love-struck teenager.

 

I sat down beside him and didn’t immediately notice that we sat very close together, our shoulders were touching because I was distracted by my thoughts.

 

“You ok?” I heard him say. I looked up to him and cringed when I saw his beautiful face focused on me. It was only then I slid a bit away from him.

 

“Sorry, um, I was just admiring the lake,” I lied. I could still feel him watching me.

 

We must have looked odd, me in formal clothes and him dressed as casual as possible but no one seemed to notice. The people were busy with their own things. I began relaxing, although I still couldn’t figure out what I was doing here with him. But I was the one who volunteered so I couldn’t leave him.

 

“Look, if you’re having second thoughts about being here with me, you can go. It’s no biggie,” he said as if he could hear my thoughts.

 

I looked at him and in spite of what he said, he seemed like he wanted me to stay. Or could that just be my imagination playing with me?

 

“I already offered so I’m not gonna back out now. I just feel weird following you around dressed like this,” I said while motioning at my clothes. “Also, I really need to call my office.”

 

The next thing I knew, I was gasping for breath. I must have stopped breathing as he flashed me a smile, his dimple making an appearance.

 

I stood up abruptly and started making my way towards the wooden bridge. “Wait up,” he called after me.

 

He was beside me in no time, and stepped on the wooden bridge at the same moment. I heard only one set of steps against the wooden bridge instead of two as his steps directly matched mine.

 

We didn’t say anything as we walked. He looked around him but he didn’t stray away, he kept his pace beside me. I heard him groan softly as we neared the edge of the park.

 

“Don’t worry,” I said. “You’ll have all day to explore the park.” That quickened his pace a bit. He was probably thinking that the sooner I change my clothes, the sooner he could enjoy the park. He was like a kid after all, a grown up kid. Somehow, that added to his appeal.

 

Five minutes later, we were at my apartment building. My apartment was all the way up on the fifth floor. The elevator wasn’t working (it never did actually) so we made our way up. I unlocked the door and held it open as he stepped inside.

 

“Is that how you keep fit?” he asked as his eyes roamed around my apartment. There was an adjoining living room and kitchen, bedroom, bathroom and that was it. Then he added, “Nice apartment, by the way.”

 

“Thanks. What was that about keeping fit?” Did he check me out too? I didn’t notice.

 

“All that walking and climbing, is that how you keep fit?”

 

“Oh, I guess so. I don’t go to the gym,” I answered.

 

“Really,” he said as he looked at me, sizing me up. I thought he was going to say more but he just continued looking at me.

 

“Anyway, I’ll just go change. Grab anything you want from the fridge,” I said as I made my way to the bedroom.

 

I called my office and told them I wouldn’t be able to go to work without giving any explanation. I was surprised they let me, probably because it was the first time I’d been absent.

 

Shit! I had a hot guy in my apartment and I was acting weird. Surely he’d noticed something already. Why was he not freaking out though? In fact, he seemed like he wanted to be with me. Or was he that desperate for company? Probably not, he could roam around this part of the city without getting hopelessly lost. He was a grown man after all.

 

I was going crazy. I was fantasizing about a guy who had a fiancée. He had a fiancée, dammit, that meant he was straight. Even if he wasn’t so straight, just what the heck did I want to happen? He was getting married, end of story.

 

I was frowning as I took off my clothes. I opened a cabinet, took out a pair of brown cotton pants and put them on. I also put on a white printed shirt. I checked how I looked in the mirror when I’d finished. Great, I was concerned about my looks now all because of a guy? I slipped on comfortable shoes before I went out the bedroom.

 

Nate sat on the sofa and was chugging on beer when I saw him. He looked a bit sexy as his adam’s apple bobbed up and down while he swallowed.

 

“What took you man?” he asked when he saw me. “I hope you don’t mind,” he added as he pointed on the beer he was drinking.

 

“Nah, I don’t mind. I couldn’t decide what to wear,” I said as I sat on the other end of the sofa.

 

At what I said, he looked at what I was wearing. “You look nice,” he said with a smile. Then he stopped halfway from putting the beer bottle to his lips and I saw his cheeks redden. Was that a normal comment from a straight guy? I couldn’t say, maybe? I entertained the thought that it was an admission that he liked me too, if only for just a moment.

 

He chugged the remaining beer from the bottle in one gulp then burped loudly. Manly belch meant he was straight?

 

He laid the beer bottle on the small table and faced me. There was some sort of pull which made me look at him even though I wanted to avert my eyes. We looked deep into each other’s eyes. I found myself mesmerized. Then slowly, his face was getting closer to mine until our lips met and we shared a long and passionate kiss. We were both breathing hard when our lips parted.

 

My heart was pounding and my head was racing. How could something feel both right and wrong at the same time? I couldn’t look at him, I didn’t want to. This was all my fault, I was the one who brought him to my apartment after all.

 

“Say something,” he said.

 

I looked at him and it was only then that I noticed that he sat very close to me. I could smell his sweet breath and feel it against my face.

 

“I’m sorry,” I said as I looked in his eyes.

 

His face clouded with anger. “What the hell for?” he asked, obviously irritated.

 

“For making you kiss me,” I said in a small voice.

 

“You didn’t make me kiss you. I kissed you because I wanted to.”

 

“Nate, I...” I started but he cut me off.

 

“Can you say my name again?” he pleaded.

 

I obliged, “Nate.”

 

“Fuck, even the way you say my name excites me. Everything about you is so enticing. You’ve been driving me crazy ever since I saw you looking at me at the train station,” he confessed.

 

“I was that obvious?” I asked with concern in my voice.

 

“I was glad that you were. I noticed you earlier sitting on the bench. I was struck by how calm and composed you were as you observed your surroundings. That coupled with your natural good-looks and the result was immediate attraction on my part, but I was too afraid to do anything about it. I was therefore so pleased when I turned around and noticed you checking me out.”

 

“Nate, under different circumstances, I’d be the happiest guy, but you’re getting married,” I reminded him. His face suddenly became serious and he turned so that I could only see half of his face. He was silent for a while and I was lost in my own unhappy thoughts.

 

“Bill, I can’t change my present situation, but I want to ask you something, a favor. Please share this day with me. I know it’s too much to ask. It’s entirely up to you, but I hope you’ll say yes.” One look at his handsome, pleading face and I knew that I couldn’t say no even if I wanted to. I felt myself nodding.

 

He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. His warm body felt so good. He was smiling when he finally let go of me.

 

“Let’s go?” he asked. He got up and then offered his hand to me. I took it shyly and he helped me to my feet. “Remember that this is our day, focus on us and nothing else.”

 

********************

 

We were walking leisurely at the park. At first, I resisted when Nate took my hand but he was persistent and I liked the way his hand felt clasped over mine. It was a bit electrifying. He led us to a bench underneath this giant willow tree. We sat close together, his arm over my shoulders.

 

“So tell me about you,” he said.

 

“What about me?” I asked.

 

“Anything, I’d like to get to know you better.” He smiled at me encouragingly.

 

“Ok, let’s see, I’m 30 years old. I work as an accountant. I enjoy being outdoors. I read during my spare time. That’s all I can think of right now. Just ask me if you want to know anything else.”

 

“That’s ok for now. I’m 28 turning 29. I’m an accountant too, small world, eh? I like working out,” he said with a wink.

 

I laughed. He looked at me reproachfully.

 

“Sorry, I just found it funny that you mentioned working out. Is that what you do during your spare time?” I asked as I continued laughing.

 

“Not all the time if that’s what you mean,” he said with a slight edge in his voice. Then after a while, he also started laughing.

 

“I was just trying to impress you but I realized that I sounded like a muscle-head,” he said in between laughs.

 

“Yeah you do,” I agreed. We kept on laughing, but we stopped after a while.

 

“You don’t seem very comfortable being with me,” he commented when he noticed me looking around.

 

I looked guiltily at him. “Don’t be offended. It’s just that this is my first time um, hanging out with a guy.”

 

“For real?” he asked smiling. Then, “I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t worry, I agreed to this remember?”

 

“I just don’t want you to feel that I’m using you because I’m not. I can’t explain it. I think I care about you. I know it sounds stupid taking into consideration that we’ve only met a couple of hours ago, but that’s how I feel.” I was struck by the sincerity in his voice.

 

“You don’t need to explain, because I think I feel the same way.” I smiled. “If today is all we have then let’s live for today.”

 

He looked at me and I was naturally pulled towards him. I placed my lips against his and kissed him. I loved the feel of his soft lips against my own. Kissing him was so exciting and also rewarding; it gave me a sense of being complete.

 

“So what about you?” I asked when my breathing was back to normal, somehow kissing him always left me out of breath.

 

“If you’re referring to my sexuality, I’m bi and... this is not my first time.” He looked at me questioningly.

 

“Don’t worry about it, Nate. I had a feeling that this wasn’t your first time. I’m not gonna hold that against you, ok?”

 

“I really like it when you say my name.” He blushed. This guy was really something. I knew it was wrong but part of me wished that he was mine.

 

“Is there anywhere we could eat around here?” he said after some time. “I’m starving,”

 

I led him out of the park again into an area where several restaurants were situated. The weather was so pleasant that we decided on an outside table topped with an umbrella. I ordered medium rare rib eye steak and mashed potatoes with lots of gravy while he ordered spaghetti bolognese and vegetable salad with vinaigrette sauce. We quietly studied each other while waiting for our orders. When our orders came, we enjoyed the food and each other’s company with small talk every now and then. A few times, he would fork a portion of steak which I just cut and eat it with relish. He kept on offering his food to me which I declined and earned me a frown from him.

 

He paid for our food after much protest from me. I offered to pay, but he declined. I suggested that we pay for our own food just to be fair, but he wouldn’t give in. He said in a loud voice that since he was the one who asked me out, he should pay for everything. I agreed and let him pay just to shut him up.

 

Now it was time to really explore the park. Nate was actually fidgeting due to excitement, he was such a kid. Our first stop was the fountain. We went as near as possible and the fountain loomed over us. The wind picked up suddenly, spraying water over us, which sent us both into a chuckling spree. Nate asked me for a coin and I fished one from my pocket and threw it at him. I reminded him that we weren’t in the Trevi Fountain, but he just grinned at me. He was a bit stubborn, maybe? Ok a whole lot. He turned his back to the fountain and closed his eyes and threw the coin in. I asked what he’d wished for but he wouldn’t tell me. I fantasized that he wished for me and him strolling through this park for days to come and then more. I smiled.

 

We went to the lake and circled it. I had been living in this city for years now, but I think this was the first time that I actually went around the entire thing. It was fun, we talked about ourselves and then moved on to topics of interest. We were having so much fun being together that we must have circled the lake at least twice.

 

Then we just roamed around. We would stop and sit on a bench when we grew tired only to wander again after some rest. It was fun being with Nate and the more I was with him, the more I liked him. I knew I would regret sharing this day with him after he was gone but while it lasted, I was happy. I wasn’t unhappy or anything before he came along, but being with him gave me a different kind of happiness, it was the happiness that came from being with somebody you cared about. I knew that I was falling for him, and I also knew I was in for a lot of heartache, but like he said, this day, this moment was all that mattered.

 

We were sitting on a bench, Nate’s head resting on my shoulder while my arm was around him when it slowly grew dark. He stirred and I knew what was coming.

 

“Can I walk you to your apartment?” he asked as he straightened up. He looked at me when I said nothing after some time. I just nodded, I knew that my voice would crack if I dared to speak.

 

We walked in silence. I distanced myself from him as we walked but he reached out for my hand and pulled me closer to him. We walked hand in hand all the way to my apartment door.

 

I opened the door and we went in. We stood facing each other in silence. After seeing him so happy the whole day, the sad expression on his face seemed so foreign to me. I wanted to offer him a word of comfort, something that would bring a smile to his lovely face. But how could I possibly offer him something which I needed myself?

 

“Our day is over, Nate. I had fun and I’m glad that I have met and came to know you. This is the point where we go back to our own lives,” I declared. The fantasy was over, reality loomed.

 

I moved closer to him and wrapped my arms around him. He hugged me back like he didn’t want to let go. I felt his body trembling. I soothed him as much as I could. Without letting go of our embrace, we kissed with so much passion and longing.

 

“Do you trust me?” he asked as we stepped away from each other.

 

“I do,” I said and I was surprised that what I told him was the truth.

 

“Then I’ll see you after a week. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?” I nodded. “Good. I’m not gonna say anything more right now. We’ll have a long talk after seven days.” He pecked my cheek then went out the door.

 

The closing door brought me back to my senses. No matter what I did, I knew I couldn’t bring back the happiness that I felt when we were together earlier this day. In spite of how strongly we felt towards each other, it would be crazy to let Nate sacrifice everything for what we weren’t sure would work out or not. We only met today for fuck’s sake. What if we were wrong for each other? Could I live with the fact that I’d ruined his life? I wouldn’t let Nate do what could possibly be the biggest mistake in his life even though my heart was against it.

 

********************

 

I was back to work after a month-long vacation. I stayed with my parents. They were surprised when they first saw me. My arrival wasn’t expected after all. They noticed that I wasn’t myself during the first week of my stay, and I figured it was a good a time as any to come out to them so I did. They were shocked at first but they took the news rather well. I spent the remaining weeks of my vacation trying to forget about Nate, I didn’t succeed. However, I came to the point where thinking about him didn’t depress me anymore, although I still felt a pinprick of pain, sharp but bearable. I guess this was as far as I would get to getting over him.

 

I was busy with a report when my boss, the Financial Controller, called to say that he wanted to introduce me to the new Accounting Manager. I was a bit pissed that the management decided to hire a new guy instead of promoting me. I was Accounting Supervisor so technically, I was next in line, but I probably blew off my chances when I suddenly filed for vacation just like that. I hadn’t met the guy yet, but I disliked him already. To top it all, the guy’s name was Nathan Hughes. His name reminded me of Nate.

 

I knocked on the boss’ door and entered. I faltered as soon as I saw the guy, although he had his back to me. It was Nate. The boss introduced us and it was as if it was the first time that Nate was meeting me. He smiled a bit but otherwise his face was masked. On the other hand, I was white-faced and perspiring. We shook hands and I felt myself electrified. I went back to my desk drained. This couldn’t possibly be happening.

 

Thankfully, I had work to distract me from my predicament, a month worth of it. I immersed myself to it. I was halfway through when Nate called. He wanted to see me in his office.

 

“You wanted to see me, sir?” I said when I opened his door. He motioned for me to close the door and take a seat. I did as I was told.

 

As I looked at Nate’s face, I got the feeling that he was angry and I was right.

 

“William Campbell, is it?” he said with venom. I nodded.

 

“Well Mr. Campbell, I just wanted to make sure that I won’t get any trouble from you.” I shook my head.

 

“Good. You may go then.”

 

I hesitated. “Nate,” I said in a small voice. He frowned at me. “I’m sorry.”

 

He didn’t speak for some time. “Just go. I don’t wanna hear whatever it is you’ve got to say.”

 

I left him and went back to work. Nate was angry, very angry, but I glimpsed an emotion deep inside of him that he was trying to hide. He was hurting and I knew I was the cause of it.

 

I saw how much Nate changed during the days that followed. He was civil to those around him, but he never smiled. I missed his dimpled smile and the Nate who was a kid at heart. I doubt now whether what I did before was right. It seemed right at the time, but seeing Nate now, I couldn’t be sure. He didn’t look happy and wasn’t his happiness the main reason I’d left? Aside from the burden of having Nate so close yet not mine, I had to deal with the fact that I broke him too, day after day.

 

It was almost 11 pm when I finished a report one night. I quickly shut off the computer and made my way to the elevator. As I rounded a corner, I almost collided with Nate. We were both surprised.

 

“Good evening, sir,” I greeted. He nodded his acknowledgment. I trailed behind him as I wasn’t sure he would like it if I walked beside him.

 

We entered the elevator and stood as far away from each other as possible inside the small enclosed space. When the elevator stopped, I let him go out before me. I was about to exit the building when he called me. I turned around and he was coming to me.

 

“Are you going to take the train at this hour?” he asked. He stopped a few feet away from me. He wasn’t frowning at me which was how he usually looked whenever he talked to me, but he wasn’t smiling either.

 

“Yeah,” I answered. Could it be that he was worried about me?

 

He didn’t say anything, but looked like he was trying to decide something. It took him a couple of minutes to come to a decision.

 

“Come with me,” he said, and turned around, walking towards the parking lot. I followed him to a black SUV which looked new. He slipped inside the car without saying anything to me. I didn’t know whether I was supposed to follow or not, but I got in the passenger seat. Heck, the inside looked and smelled new. Nate still hadn’t said anything and he started the engine without a word.

 

It was late so there was no traffic. I could barely hear the hum of the engine as Nate drove. He seemed distracted somehow but he still drove responsibly.

 

“I appreciate what you’re doing. I’m sorry you have to go all the way to my place,” I said to break the silence.

 

“You’re actually on the way to my apartment,” he admitted.

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yeah, I moved there about a couple of weeks ago to be close to... someone.”

 

I looked at him. He didn’t look angry anymore, just sad, very sad. I wanted to hug him and comfort him, but knew that it would probably make him explode.

 

“What exactly happened to you?” he asked. I’d gotten the feeling he’d wanted to ask me this ever since he saw me after a month of absence.

 

“Reality happened,” I answered.

 

“Were you lying when you said that you trusted me?”

 

“No,” I said.

 

“When I came back for you, you weren’t there. You didn’t even think it was necessary to leave me a message? But then again, why should you? You had no intention of being with me. Not only did you make a fool of me, you also broke my heart.”

 

I didn’t say anything. It pained me that I caused him this much hurt.

 

“I wish you never came back,” he said as he stopped the car.

 

“I did what I thought was right for you. We barely knew each other yet you were willing to sacrifice everything you had for me? I just couldn’t take that responsibility so I left. Don’t worry, you’re not the only one who’s sorry that I came back.” I got out of the car before he could say anything.

 

When I was finally in my room, I cried. I cried for my loss. I cried for Nate’s suffering. But most of all, I cried because it was the only thing that I could really do at the situation I was in. I cried.

 

The next day, I filed my resignation. I knew it was abrupt, but I had to do it. I’d caused Nate enough pain. I had to reassure the Financial Controller that my sudden decision had nothing to do with me not being promoted. The Financial Controller told me to go home early so I could think about not resigning. I did as I was told, although I knew it wasn’t going to do any good.

 

Fifteen minutes later, I was at the park. I loosened my tie and untucked my polo shirt. I then started circling the lake as I got lost in my thoughts.

 

I didn’t know how many times I went round the lake. Probably a lot since I was starting to sweat and my steps were becoming slower. I wanted to stop walking, but I just kept on going.

 

“Are you running away from your problems? If you are, you’re not getting anywhere,” a familiar voice said.

 

My vision focused on Nate’s handsome face.

 

“What are you doing here?” I asked, stopping a few feet from him.

 

“Why did you resign?” he asked, ignoring my question.

 

“Because you got the position I wanted,” I said.

 

“Bullshit, Bill. Are you doing this again for me?”

 

I didn’t say anything. I walked right past him. I thought he was going to let me go, but I felt his hand on my shoulder. I turned to him.

 

“Why do you always do that? Do you know how much you’re hurting me?”

 

“I know that’s why I’m going, ok? Now just let me go.”

 

“No,” he said adamantly. He was angry now. “I thought you understood. I thought you were going to wait for me.”

 

“You were going to get married.” I replied. “Do you really expect me to let you give that up?”

 

“Liz and I were not in love. I got her pregnant and I proposed to her when I found out. I thought it was the right thing to do. It changed when I met you. What if we could have had something special? I held on to the fact that you trusted me to do the right thing. I talked to Liz about us and she understood. She knew that I would love our baby no matter what.”

 

I was speechless.

 

“No matter what we do,” he said, “we can’t go back to the way we were before.”

 

“No we can’t.” I turned from him and started walking. Oh how I made a mess of things.

 

“But we could move forward,” he called after me.

 

I stopped walking. A few seconds later, Nate was hugging me tightly from behind.

  

© 2010 jian_sierra
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