Prompts by HB - 2. Prompt #550

“There is no way I’m wearing that!”

“Why not?”

“Because!” Marcus waved at the contraption as if the gesture was explanation enough.

“What?” Andy flipped the black cotton vest back and forth, inspecting it for defects. “What’s wrong with it?”

“What do you mean, ‘What’s wrong with it?’ It’s got nipples!”

“Well, of course it has nipples, that’s the whole point. It’s supposed to mimic a woman’s breasts.” Andy held the vest up against his body and the two clear nipples, framed by white plastic areolae, aligned perfectly on his chest. “See?”

“Thank you, dear. I hadn’t figured that part out yet.” Sarcasm dripped heavily from Marcus’ voice.

“You know, studies show that breastfeeding is good for the baby,” Andy said as he unbuttoned the breastfeeding vest in his hands.

“Yeah, because breast milk is good for the baby.” Marcus countered, arms folded tightly across his chest. “Wearing a vest isn’t going to help either of us produce breast milk.”

“It’s not just the milk.” Andy examined the inside of the vest. “It helps you bond with the baby, makes you feel more connected.”

He held up the vest again and showed Marcus an inside pocket. “Look, here’s where you put the bottle.” Pointing to a thin, clear tube, “And this connects the bottle to the nipple.”

Marcus glared at the device as if it carried a contagious disease. “I don’t have to wear that thing to feel connected to our baby. She’s our baby. Why can’t I just feed her from a bottle, like normal?”

“I suppose you could.” Andy’s voice lilted in the way it did when he was trying to cajole Marcus into something Marcus didn’t want to do. “But you’ll be missing out.” He slid his arms into the vest and did up the buttons. “See? It’s not so bad.”

The grin that tugged at the corner of Andy’s mouth didn’t go unnoticed by Marcus. He stepped close and tentative fingers lightly caressed the silicon nipples on his husband’s chest. Then he pinched them, hard.

“Hey,” Andy said, a fake frown creased his brow. “That’s not very nice.”

“I thought you liked having your nipples pinched.”

The grin couldn’t be contained as Andy snorted and then burst out laughing. Marcus responded by palming both nipples and squeezing Andy’s chest as if they sported real breasts.

“Stop it!” Andy grabbed at Marcus’ wrists, still laughing.

“Why? I’ve always wondered what it’d be like to play with breasts.”

“Marcus!” Andy wrestled Marcus’ hands away and pulled them around his back so that he stood encircled by strong arms.

“Ow, they’re pointy.” Marcus looked down between them where the protruding nipples poked at his chest. “I thought breasts were supposed to be soft, squishy things.”

“Marcus.” Andy used his teacher-voice, the one reserved for misbehaving youth at the LGBT Center where he worked. Too bad the voice only worked on youth.

Marcus chuckled. “Honestly, where in hell did you get this thing?”

“From Kathleen, at the Center. It’s a baby shower gift from her and her wife.”

“Kathleen?” Dark eyebrows shot up to Marcus’ hairline. “Really?”

“I think it’s supposed to be a gag gift,” Andy said with a smile.

Marcus groaned at the cheesiness before he gave his husband a squeeze. “You don’t seriously expect me to wear this, do you?”

Andy peeked up through long eyelashes, a pink blush staining his cheeks. “No, I was just teasing.”

“Good.” Marcus eyed the white embroidered words stitched above the vest’s left nipple. “Because I love you, but I’m not wearing Mr. Milker.”