Buy Me a Drink - 9. Chapter 8

I think I’m turning Japanese…I really think so.

There’s this beautiful area of Hermann Park called ‘The Japanese Gardens’, it’s got this wonderful little stream thing running through it, and all these pretty rocks and trees, and it’s spring so all the flowers and stuff are in bloom. It’s gorgeous.

Only, as lovely as it is, I’m not looking at it. Or anything for that matter. Instead I’ve got my eyes closed and my tongue down Ben’s throat. I won’t bother boring you with the details of where our hands are, suffice it to say that if I hadn’t insisted our ‘first time’ not be in a public park… it probably would have been. Instead we stopped at the short stop. You’re going to make me explain that one aren’t you? Well you know how the short stop is between 2nd base and 3rd base? Well…

Anyway, I wish I could say that my reticence to engage in sex in a public place had something to do with romance, or simply an under-lying obedience to laws and social decency. I wish I could say that, but instead it came down to two basic, practical points.

Number one, I just wasn’t ready. I mean we’ve already seen how I acted when I thought it was just going to be casual sex with someone I’d never speak to again. But now that it actually would have been like ‘relationship starting’ sex with a boyfriend that I’d just shared an emotionally intimate experience with…well, totally wasn’t ready for that one.

Number two, I just wasn’t ready. Okay, I know number two sounds remarkably like number one, but I mean it in a completely different way. Like with number one it was more of an emotional/mental thing. What I mean with this one though is that I simply wasn’t prepared in the practical sense. No condoms, no lube, no blankets to spread out over the grass, you know that kinda thing. I kept hoping these items would magically appear as movies and television shows lead you to believe they must…but no they remained frightfully non-existent, and not just in the ‘non-existent, perception is the only reality’ kinda way that Mick and I understand it. I mean these suckers just weren’t there, perception or not!

Speaking of Mick…let’s not. Okay? I’m having this wonderful afternoon with my…oh wait who was this fucking gorgeous guy again? Oh yeah I remember: BOYFRIEND, and everything is just going too nicely, and I feel so impossibly relaxed and excited at the same time if that even makes sense. So right now we’re just not going to talk about crazy pseudo-straight roommates, or manipulative psycho-bitches, or giant, possessive Columbians. Or any of that other crap okay? We’re just going to sit here, in this non-awkward silence with the soft breeze and the soothing stream. Got it? Good.

************

“I think I want sushi for dinner.”

“Babe, I don’t think they have that here.” Is it okay for me to call him ‘babe’? I mean I know we’re ‘boyfriends’ now or whatever, but that’s the first time I’ve tried a pet name, so I’m kinda scared here.

“I know that! I’m just saying, let’s stick with the Japanese theme and have sushi for dinner.” Okay, the good news is this ‘babe’ nickname definitely seems to have gone over better than the last nickname I had for him…

“Cool by me. Maybe we can play some Nintendo later too?” I’m joking; I don’t have a system…although if he does I’m game.

He just laughs. “Have you ever been to RA Sushi? On Westheimer by the Galleria.”

I haven’t been. Actually I’ve never had sushi at all. I’ve always thought it was one of the stupid trendy things the yuppies and preppies do to look cool. You know, an “A-gay’ thing to do…something my A-gay boyfriend would be into for example. Oh god! I’m going to have to quit making fun of them now aren’t I?

“Uhh, no, I don’t think I’ve ever been there. I mean actually I’ve never had sushi. The whole ‘raw fish’ thing is kind of intimidating to me.”

“Intimidating to you like strangers in clubs wanting to have sex with you intimidating, or intimidating like ‘hey, I might get food poisoning’ intimidating?” Ben lightly teases in a strange voice.

Whoa! This boy’s got a sense of humor that’s vaguely familiar. Who do I know that sounds like this?

“Don’t look so surprised. I doubt it’s the last time I’ll whip out my ‘Aaron impersonation.’” Damn I like him! It sure as hell better not be.

Laughing I respond, “Well, then I’ll try something new just for you.”

“I hope it’s not the only new thing you’ll try for me,” he interjects with a lascivious grin.
Hey! I said I wasn’t a total virgin! There was fumbling. There may have even been sex. I guess it really all comes down to how you ‘define sex’…and maybe who was holding the cigar.

“I doubt it will be,” I respond with a silly grin. Then something else occurs to me.

“Hey, um, that place looks... uhh...” How do I say this? Nope, he’s not helping me this time, he looks genuinely perplexed.

“I mean it’s just that…It looks like a nice place and all.” A nicer place than I can afford that is. “But I’m not sure if I…Well um, I’m not working right now and…” Crap! I’m going to have to get a job aren’t I? Or will my sexually confused roommate continue to foot the bill for my meals and maybe throw in Ben’s for good measure?

“Ohh.” Ben exclaims finally realizing what I mean.

So he looks shocked. And really uncomfortable.

“I didn’t know,” he says in a low voice. Yep, someone having a limited budget is probably cause for whispering in his circle.

Shrugging I say, “Maybe Mick will wanna go.”

…Or maybe I’ll just snack on this foot I seem to have in my mouth anyway and you can go on ahead without me.

“Does Mick pay for all of your meals?” Ben asks furrowing his brow.

“No,” I assure him. Not ALL of them, only most of them.

“But, he does kinda help me out when I’m running a little short,” which is to say all the time of course.

“I see,” Ben says.

“I actually I need to call him anyway; we always have dinner on Sundays.” Shortest relationship in the world ladies and gentleman, RIGHT HERE!

“Yeah well never mind then. I’ll just call up Matt. He loves sushi.” Ouch. Was that on purpose? I’m thinking yeah.

“Actually, he really wants to meet you. Like, he literally said to invite you to dinner.” Well this has to be a boost to my cool points. ‘My mommy said you could come over for dinner.’

“Umm, I don’t think –” Ben starts.

“It would mean a lot to me if you came.” I say looking him in the eye. I mean hey I always see people in relationships pulling the ‘it would mean a lot to me’ card, so why not me too?

Ben looks guilty and sighs, “Okay.”

See, it worked.

******************

“Mick, what would you say to sushi?”

“Nothing. I can’t speak Japanese.” Smart ass!

I’m on the phone with Mick while driving back to our apartment. Ben is following me in his brand new Lexus; I’m driving a 96 Eclipse. I’m think there’s symbolism in there somewhere.

“So why this sudden yen for Japanese anyway?” He thinks he’s so clever using the word ‘yen’ in that question.

“Ben wants sushi,” I respond casually.

I swear I can hear him grinning on the other end of the phone.

“Does this mean Ben will be joining us for dinner?” No Mick, I’m just stalking him. I found out he was planning to have sushi tonight, and I thought having the same thing would make me feel closer to him.

“Yep, sure does,” I respond grinning myself.

“Woo hooo! Score one for the home team!” And this is the guy I’m suddenly convincing myself is going to be jealous?

“Yeah man! Sushi it is! Does he have a place in mind?” Mick continues.

“RA sushi, kinda over by…”

“Weslayan and Westheimer. Yeah I’ve seen it. Sounds great. You want me to meet you guys there?”

“No, we’re on our way back to the apartment now.”

“Okay, I’ll go get ready. See you soon.”

“Hey Mick wait...”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t mind, huh?”

“Mind what? Sushi? Nah it’s cool. I’m just happy for you.”

“But are you really happy for me?” I ask pathetically into the phone.

“Well yeah…,” he sounds confused. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Oh I dunno, just thought maybe you were desperately in love with me or something. Never mind.

“No reason. Go take a shower. I don’t want you scaring off my new boyfriend.” I’m tryin’ to lighten the mood here, couldja tell?

“Wait wait, did you say boyfriend?” Mick asks. Oh yeah, I hadn’t told him that yet had I?

“Yeah,” I respond dumbly with a school-boy lilt.

“Wow! Home run for the home team!” Actually I ran back to 2nd because I was afraid of getting tagged, but we can pretend, Mick.

“Thanks man” I say genuinely happy…genuinely confused too, but genuinely happy.

**************

“Here dude,” Mick whispers as he shoves a wad of bills into my hand.

I’m standing nervously in our living room waiting for Ben to finish availing himself of our downstairs bathroom. Once he does the three of us will be heading out to dinner. He called and made reservations while he was in the car.

Me? Well I already had reservations, but once again my hyper-thoughtful best friend is doing his best to anticipate and waylay them. The only problem is, in this case I’ve already told Ben I couldn’t afford dinner.

“I already told Ben I couldn’t afford dinner.” I whisper back. I figured it was time to tell Mick too.

Mick looks horrified.

“Why did you do that?” he asks in a whisper.

“Because you can’t pay for me to take my boyfriend out to eat!”

“Says who?” he demands barely maintaining his whispered tone.

“Mick, please. Let’s talk about this later okay. I really appreciate it but it’s too late. Thank you though.” I finish sincerely. I appreciate the thought, A LOT, but the last thing I want is for Ben to walk in and find us whispering frantically to each other.

A couple of moments later Ben comes out. I’m too nervous about this whole situation to even touch that line.

“Ya’ll ready?” he inquires as he slips under my arm. That’s gotta be a good sign, right?

“Yep, all ready.” I respond giving him a quick kiss.

********************

In retrospect I really don’t think it was the best idea in the world for mine and Ben’s first meal together to include Mick. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he’s like the most important person in my life…and I guess that’s sorta the problem.

It’s kind of like if our first meal together was over dinner with my mom. Only in many ways this is more important than that. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom, and we have a pretty good relationship, but I see her like two or three times a year (she lives just outside of Atlanta), whereas I see Mick a minimum of two or three times a day. For the foreseeable future his opinion is actually going to matter more to me.

I think Ben and Mick both picked up on that too. I mean I guess Ben would have had to be an idiot not to considering I flat out told him that his meeting Mick was important to me, and I suppose I wouldn’t be giving Mick very much credit if I thought that simple fact would have eluded him either.

In any case it was a very…cautious dinner. It was nice, I think everyone had fun, but it felt like all three of us were walking on egg shells to avoid possibly saying or doing the wrong thing. This was definitely not something I would have anticipated. If there’s one thing Mick and I don’t do it’s walk on egg shells around each other. Ben certainly isn’t the type to do that either. I mean he’s the type to just assume everyone will think he’s hot shit and to act accordingly.

Anyway, what we ended up with were three objectively very interesting people (I am interesting. I know this. I’ll say this.) who were acting like shadows of themselves, but more or less staying in character. So, I made sarcastic jokes but stuck to painfully tame topics. Mick channeled his usual laid-back, devil-may-care charm, but instead of his usual off-the-wall comments and all around weird shit, he like…normalized it or something. And Ben remained confident and out-going, but for once toned down the hyper-sexualized, flirtatious, gentle teasing thing he usually seems to have going. So, all in all, it was a perfectly safe dinner. Unless of course you count the risk of mercury poisoning.

I don’t want to be presumptuous or like jinx it or anything, but I think Mick and Ben liked each other. I mean you could still see the wheels turning in their heads. With Ben likely thinking:

‘so just what IS the nature of these guys’ relationship?’ and ‘do I really want my new boyfriend living with a hot stripper?’,

And Mick likely thinking:

‘I could snap him in half…If he hurts Aaron I will.’

But who knows, maybe they were just thinking about the viability of ethanol as a fuel alternative, and I’m just being my usual over-analytical, freak out prone self.

In any case, by the end of the meal, I felt as though they had at least come to an unspoken agreement to tolerate each other’s presence and to be pleasant to one another. Which really, considering my own track record with Ben’s friends – bar Cosmo – is a miracle in and of itself.

When the check came Mick and Ben both fought over it and I sat blushing on the sidelines wondering if I could persuade my seat to swallow me up. In the end Ben won out with the argument that he had suggested the restaurant so it was only fair for him to treat. Let me tell you, seeing Ben arguing to pay for something felt about as natural as sleeping in a wet suit.

After leaving the restaurant we returned to the apartment and Ben politely declined our invitations to come up for a little while – which also felt egregiously out of character for him. So we kissed our goodnights – there was tongue involved so that made me feel better at least – and agreed to call each other tomorrow. Then Mick and I came upstairs and I faked sudden and extreme exhaustion to avoid talking to him about anything.

And now I’m lying in bed, desperately needing to jerk-off – remember my trip around the bases? – but too emotionally and mentally overloaded to do anything but stare at the ceiling.