Lost in Manchester - 12. Dark Side of the City. December 2009. Adam.

“Man, this evening is going to be awesome.”

Adam eyed James sceptically. James was a lot more enthusiastic about a night out on Canal Street than anybody else around the table. People who had actually been there.

“I should warn you that nights out for my birthday have a long history of being a washout”.

“Don’t tell me that man”.

Adam shrugged. “Sorry. December is just the worst time for birthdays. Every year it gets upstaged by some guy who died 2,000 years ago. I get half a birthday at best”.

“Half?”

“Yeah. Half the presents, because people think its ok to combine a birthday and Christmas present. Half my friends turn up, or they come and then disappear because they’ve got Christmas parties to get to. And then not even half of people’s attention because there’s Christmas songs in every shop, people wearing Santa hats or antlers in every pub, stalls selling mulled wine and Christmas chocolates on every corner, and basically everybody everywhere is only thinking about sodding Christmas”.

“Wow” Ali said recoiling. “Do you think Mr Scrooge had a birthday in December?”

“Well either way, this is going to be a whole new cultural experience for me” James said, resolutely optimistic.

 

Cameron wandered across from his place at the bar. He looked around at the table of seven.

“Birthday boy is it then?” he asked, looking across at Adam, who nodded.

Cameron beamed. “Many happy returns. So who’s here?”

Adam leaned forward so that he could point to the others. “Ok, so you know Ali obviously, then that’s her flatmate Daniel, and his boyfriend Carl”. He turned to the other side. “This is my flatmate Paul, and his boyfriend Sam, and then James who I work with.”

Cameron tipped an imaginary hat to them all. “An absolute pleasure to meet you all”. He turned around and found a stool to pull up to the table.

“As it goes, I’ve got a great story about birthdays”.

Ali rolled her eyes. “Cam, I hope this is going to be one of your more wholesome and moral stories, we’ve only had one drink you know”.

“Course it is, course it is. So this is a few years ago, and we’re sitting in this bar in Gran Canaria. No Holds Bar it’s called.”

Ali spat out a mouthful of the beer she was drinking back into the glass.

“How did I know?”

He raised his eyebrows mischievously.

“So it’s a nice place you know. Cheap lager, wipe clean surfaces, no ladies toilets, you know the kind of place. Anyway, there’s this guy hanging around in leathers, looking a bit sheepish but giving me the eye. Turns out he’s Spanish but he speaks English fine. So I end up pulling him into the back room, which is set up like a maze.”

“A maze in the back of a bar?” James asked innocently.

“Yeah. No lights on or anything. And, you know, there’s holes on the walls that people stick things through.”

“What things?”

Adam leant across and whispered the answer in his ear. James looked shocked, but gestured Cameron to continue.

“So anyway, this guy, how should I put it, inserts me into one of the holes…” Cameron gave a gesture with his hands just in case it wasn’t clear, “and he disappears round the other side, stopping to blow a kiss to me first. Ohh, and seriously, those lips. Like waves on the lapping ocean out front they were”.

He lost himself in a moment of reverie.

“So anyway, well, he was good. I don’t need to give you details…”

“Yeah, you don’t” Ali interrupted.

“But let’s just say it were like New Years’ fireworks in his mouth”.

“Oh man” James said wincing.

“So obviously I had to reciprocate, so this slab of meat presents itself back through and I go to work. It’s half soft to start with, but obviously it’s getting bigger and bigger. And then it strikes me that the hole isn’t that huge, and this thing keeps get bigger. It’s like there’s a balloon inflator behind there and it’s out of control. And then it gets so big that I hear this cry of pain from him, cos the sides are pressing into it. I mean this thing was huge now.

“So I’m thinking if I do anything more it’s only gonna hurt, so I stopped. Then I thought the only way he’s getting free is if he gives himself the Thatcher treatment”.

Adam watched a confused look pass around the table.

“What’s the Thatcher treatment?” Sam asked eventually.

Cameron smiled at him. “Well when I was 15 or something, and I was getting a, how should I put this, an unwanted hardening situation, I’d focus my mind on the least sexual thing I could think of, and it would quickly pass away.”

“Right, got it” Sam said. He turned to Paul. “Thinking about Thatcher would probably turn you on more though.”

“Fucking right” Paul said smiling, and raised his glass.

“So anyway, I thought, he doesn’t need me anywhere near it.”

Ali narrowed her eyes. “So what did you do?”

“I did the only thing a gentleman could do. I left him alone, so he could think of his Thatcher.”

Carl laughed. “You left a guy there with his nob stuck in a glory hole”

Cameron shrugged. “Honestly, it was the only thing for it.”

“Sounds like you left him in a bit of a tight spot” Adam said smiling.

“Yeah, yeah. Heard ‘em all before.”

Ali screwed up her face. “Wait, so how is that a birthday story?”

They all turned back to Cameron.

“Oh, yeah. Well, as it goes, the boy had just turned 18 that day”.

Adam laughed and shook his head, and the others berated him. Cameron stood up with his arms in the air in surrender, and returned to the bar.

 

“So anyway….” Adam began, trying to pick up the pieces of conversation, and looking around for inspiration. “How’s work Daniel?”

Daniel swallowed down a gulp of beer.

“Good actually. Not too busy. Two weeks holiday coming up soon.” Daniel nodded contentedly.

“And a sixth former has a crush on him” Ali added.

Daniel gave her an irritated look.

“Actually he’s a year 11”

“You never told me babe” Carl said, sounding a little disappointed.

Daniel looked across at Carl thoughtfully, but didn’t respond.

“Actually I think he’s getting bullied, and I’m not sure what to do about it” Daniel said, mainly to Adam.

Adam thought back. School had actually been pretty plain sailing for him. He didn’t ever remember gay bullying being an issue. Kids called each other gay and stuff, but no-one really seemed to associate the word with actually being gay. It was just a word. He didn’t really realise until university, when he first met gay guys from other areas, what a relatively enlightened school he had been to.

“I guess it’s tough knowing what you can do as a teacher.”

“I don’t know how to broach it. He won’t say anything, and I haven’t seen anything direct that I can respond to. It’s just, you pick up the tension when he’s around some of the other guys”.

Adam nodded and chewed over the thought.

“Talking of hopeless causes” Paul said, leaning forward suddenly animated and looking at Ali, “how did your airport protest go?”

She gave him a dirty look.

This was the exact conversation Adam was hoping wouldn’t happen today.

“It was good thanks” she replied.

Ever since the day in Chester, Ali had been insistent that he should quiz Paul about it, but what was the point? Paul would obviously deny it and it would end up being weird. She hadn’t bought that argument.

“Hey, by the way, we saw you Christmas shopping in Chester last weekend. I don’t know if you saw us?”

Paul looked blankly at her, his eyes cold and disbelieving. The air between them had suddenly turned very frosty. It seemed for a few seconds like the whole pub had gone quiet, waiting for his response.

“I was in London last weekend. I haven’t been to Chester in about a year”. The voice was brittle, pointed.

Ali nodded.

“It’s funny, the guy we saw looked exactly like you. Even had on that same red hoodie you’re wearing”.

He continued with the cold stare.

“Oh ok, strange coincidence” he said humourlessly. “This is Sam’s hoodie.”

The others were all watching the exchange like it was a tennis match. In Winter.

Ali looked like she was sizing up how much further she could go with this.

“It looked like you started running away when you saw us” she said firmly.

He put down his beer glass and looked straight at her.

“Look, you stupid cow, I wasn’t in fucking Chester. Maybe get your eyes checked”.

He drank down what was left of the beer in his glass and stood up.

“Look, I’ve got important stuff to do” he said, looking expectantly at Sam.

“Happy fucking birthday Adam” he said and walked out.

Sam looked at the others, apologetically.

“I’d better go after him guys. Don’t worry, he’s had a stressful week, that’s all”. He looked at Ali. “It’s true what he said though, that is my hoodie, and it was at my place last weekend when he was in London”.

Sam said the words with no malice, just pure youthful honesty.

“I think it must have been someone else you saw”. He turned and followed after Paul.

Adam felt terrible for him. The guy didn’t deserve to be in that situation. He gave Ali his best told you so look.

 

“So…” James said, clapping his hands together and trying to bring the mood up again, “who do you guys think is the coolest action hero?”.

Carl shook his head. “Now that is tough.”

“Bourne” Adam said without hesitation.

“Yep” Ali agreed.

“Oh my god, totally Jason Bourne” Daniel confirmed, and the three of them caught each other’s eyes and laughed.

James shook his head. “I’m not sure I get what you kids see in him…”

 

After a while they picked up on a fuss behind the bar. Cameron was talking with a young blond barman, and they were standing together listening to a handheld radio which was emitting anxious sounding messages. Adam stopped talking to watch what was happening and several others around the room seemed to do the same.

Finally Cameron walked out in front of the bar and cleared his throat to speak. The noise around the room died down.

“Ladies and gents, sorry to interrupt” he said warmly, “but there’s been a bit of trouble after the football tonight and we’ve been advised to shut up the doors for an hour or so until the crowds disperse”.

There was a whispered reaction at the tables around the room.

“We’ll still be serving if you want to stay, but if you need to get away, you’ll need to make a move now. And i’d avoid heading in the direction of the football ground”.

There were rushed conversations around the tables. Two guys in the corner took the opportunity to slip away, but everybody else remained.

Cameron walked across and pushed the large wooden door closed, slamming the thick steel bolts upwards into the door frame and downward into the stone floor. The metallic sound of the bolts being lodged into place echoed back through the room, and Cameron returned to the bar.

 

James turned to Carl. “So I was thinking I should get back down the gym sometime, but I never know which machines to focus on. What’s your routine like?”

Adam quickly tuned out of conversations that began like this.

Daniel grabbed Adam and Ali. “Come on, let’s go see what’s going on”

The three of them pulled up stools at the bar.

“So what’ going on Cam?” Ali asked.

He finished pouring himself a whisky and turned back to face them.

“Not that much to be honest. We heard on the pub radios that City got beaten at home by some lower league team. And obviously, being responsible, level-headed citizens, their fans responded by smashing up the Bulls Head next to the stadium.”

“Shit”

“Yeah. It’s always worse when there’s a late kick-off. It gives them the whole afternoon boozing, so a load of them are off their faces by the time the match starts. It’s alright though, the Bulls Head is built for football crowds - plastic glasses, replaceable furniture, you know”.

He took a sip of the whisky.

“Sounds to me like they’ve chucked some chairs and tables around. Nobody hurt, but the pub’ll be looking like Luke’s toilet the morning after a night in Poptastic”, he said, catching the eye of the young barman and grinning.

“Tosser” Luke replied, without even looking up.

Luke seemed like a kid brother to Cameron. He had a certain confidence to him though, strong arms from lifting beer barrels around in the cellar too, and a cheeky smile. You definitely would.

The radio crackled again and all of them turned their eyes back to it.

“...pretty much all passed up at the stadium, but they’re heading for town. Not burnt themselves out yet either. Barricade your doors I’d say, get ready for the tornado.”

Adam looked up at the others, who all looked concerned. “I’ll go take a look out and see if I can see anything”.

He approached the front window of the pub with some trepidation. It was a large bay window but had the brewery logo frosted across most of it, so you had to get in close to look through the small number of clear segments of glass.

As he closed in on a transparent patch, a figure appeared immediately on the other side, and he jumped backward. The figure walked straight past, and he felt stupid at his nerves. He glanced back to the bar and saw Ali suppressing a laugh.

He moved in and looked out through the window to see a street transformed. When they walked across earlier it had been a sunny winter’s day. Everything had looked lively and the streets were teeming with the crowds of Christmas shoppers. Now it was dark outside. The colourful, bustling street had washed away. The wind swept clusters of rubbish along streets, and the few figures that did emerge darted in and out of buildings, hiding beneath large coats. A community of businesses and city dwellers had withdrawn their lives behind heavy doors and metal roller shutters. Word had obviously got around.

Adam returned to the bar.

“Anyone coming?” Ali asked.

He shook his head. “Hardly anyone out there at all”.

The radio crackled and they turned to it once again.

“Jim from Manchester Arms here. Just to say the crowd passed right by here. No trouble at all. Think Kev might’ve been over-dramatising a little. Not for the first time. Don’t get yourselves too worried.”

 

They got another drink and returned to the table. James looked to have exhausted his questions on weight training and protein supplements.

“Did I ever tell you the story about the guy I shagged half to death?” Cameron asked, coming across again to join them.

Carl guffawed. “No, but It sounds awesome.”

Adam saw a look of disdain pass across Daniel’s face. They really didn’t seem a great match.

“So we’ve met in a club in town, and he’s ended up back at mine.”

“That’s fine, don’t bother with setting the scene or anything” Ali said, “get straight in there”.

“Well, foreplay’s over-rated, isn’t it” Cameron shot back.

“So we’re up in the bedroom and he’s saying all this stuff he wants me to do to him. And some of it’s pretty hardcore y’know”

“I’m ok without the details” James said.

“Don’t worry, I’ll spare you. But let’s just say he wouldn’t have felt out of place in a leather collar and leash”.

“Anyway” Ali encouraged him on.

“Yeah, so we’ve pulled us kecks off and we’re proper going at it, and then after a few minutes – literally just a few minutes - he shouts i’m gonna cum, i’m gonna cum, and he shoots straight up across his chest, even over his shoulder I think”.

“Wow, thanks for that image” Ali said.

“Then, without any warning, he looks straight at me, grimaces, puts his hand to his heart, says ‘oh shit’ and keels over backwards on the bed, total K.O. I honestly thought I’d killed him”.

“Shit. So what did you do?” Daniel asked.

“Turns out he has this weird heart condition that he hasn’t bothered telling me about. Sudden shocks cause him to blackout. So I spend ten minutes checking he’s breathing, trying to work out what happened, and just as I’m about to call 999, he wakes up again, right as rain. Nice lad, Steve, but he scared the living shit out of me that day”.

“Steve?” Adam asked, thinking back to the conversation at the dinner party. “Is he like, early twenties, bit of an IT geek?”

Cameron’s eyes lit up. “That’s him. He was messaging me a bit obsessively up to a few weeks back, then he’s just disappeared off the face of the Earth”.

“Cam”. Luke called across from the bar. The radio was crackling again. Cameron hurried back, and Adam and Ali followed.

“Gary at the Carpenters Arms here. Having some problems. Lot of them headed past but then a crowd of stragglers got in a side door, nicked a load of the spirits and started chucking stuff around, before we managed to get them out. Keep your wits sharp.”

They all looked at each other. The Carpenters Arms was 10 minutes along the road from the Loom Inn.

“So do you not have anything more hi-tech than a walkie talkie for this?” Ali asked.

Adam turned to the window, thinking he heard a noise from outside.

“Well, I guess we could all go on twitter”. Cameron said, trying to ignore the gradually increasing volume approaching them. “But where’s the fun in that?”

“I think there’s a crowd coming” Adam said.

“They’ll probably pass right by. There’s nothing getting through that massive front door”.

Cameron was back behind the bar again and the radio was perched in the middle of them. They each kept glancing down at it, waiting for it to spark into life and deliver further news.

“You know walkie talkies were invented in World War Two” Luke said. As he spoke, the sound of sirens came into earshot, crescendoing outside the door, then passing by and fading into the distance. The group looked ominously from one to another.

“For fuck’s sake, it’s not a war. It’s a bunch of drunken football fans” Ali said. “I’m going to take a look out”.

Adam watched her walk across towards the window, heading for the same patch of transparent glass he had looked out from.

The noise outside escalated. He saw her glance back briefly, but having started towards the window, she wasn’t going to turn back. She moved in closer.

The noise sounded very near now and Adam saw figures coming into view on the other side of the glass.

Out of nowhere, the dark shadow of a missile flashed across the window pane right above Ali’s head. Adam stood at the bar, helpless, as the sound of smashing glass rang around the room like a chandelier had crashed down from the ceiling.

For a second Adam was rooted to the spot, unable to fully take in what was happening. His first thought, strangely, was of the beautiful stained-glass front window that would be destroyed. Then his immediate next thought was Ali.