Andy's Circle - 3. Not So Innocent

(Spring of 2015)

“Sweetie, you wanna help me?” mom looked up at me just as I appeared in the dining room.

“Uhhh sure, mom,” I said reluctantly, not being able to come up with an excuse fast enough. It’s not that I didn’t want to help her, it’s just that I wish she realized I wasn’t into painting Easter eggs anymore. Sure, I found it fun when I was little, but now I had other stuff I wanted to do – like hang out with friends or play video games with Mark.

Of course, mom didn’t see it that way. She still saw me as her little boy who was going to preschool and who thought the Easter bunny was real. I didn’t know how to explain that to her without getting her upset, so I just went along with it.

“What do you want me to do?” I asked, standing beside her and seeing that she already painted most of the eggs.

“You could put these stickers on them,” she said, handing me a bunch of colorful little cartoony stickers that looked so Easter-y it hurt.

“Sure, I’ll get right on it,” I sat and got down to work.

Not even a minute later, Mark entered the kitchen, opening the fridge and looking for something cold to drink. He’d been outside playing soccer. The older we got, the more I saw the differences between us. He loved all kinds of sports and physical activity, while I was more interested in staying indoors, reading books and listening to music. Still, we always got along well.

Mark was almost fifteen, so mom didn’t bother him with helping her with stuff like egg painting as much as she did me. I guess that was the privilege of being the older son. However, he seemed to share my opinion and it looked as if he could read my mind as soon as he saw me sitting there.

“Come on mom, he’s not a baby anymore, he doesn’t want to be putting stickers on Easter eggs,” he said half-jokingly, but still serious enough to make her think.

“Well I just thought he’d like to help his mom out. I know he always loved doing this stuff,” she explained.

“Yeah, when he was seven!”

“Well he never said anything… Andy, is this boring you?” she asked, turning to me.

“Uhh, I mean, I can finish the…” I started to say, not wanting to seem rude.

“You know what, it’s ok. Mark’s got a point. You should go out and play with your brother. It’s the holidays after all, you should be outside.”

“Thanks, mom,” I smiled and went outside with Mark. “Thanks, man!” I smiled at my big brother, grateful for what he just did.

“No problem!” he chuckled. “I hated doing that stuff when I was little.”

As I followed him outside to the back yard, he grabbed a ball and started kicking it around.

“So, what do you wanna do?”

“Umm I don’t know, whatever you want.”

Since I didn’t really feel like learning the rules to any sports, we just ended up kicking the ball around the back yard. It was definitely a good way of working up an appetite for the Easter lunch, which was always a big feast in our home.

Despite the food and the cakes mom would make, I wasn’t really a big fan of Easter anymore. When I was younger, it used to be one of my favorite holidays. Early morning, before I’d wake up, mom and dad would leave presents in my room that were supposed to be from the “Easter bunny”. Rex’s folks would do the same for him, so when we would get together later in the afternoon, we’d talk about what kind of stuff we got – toys, sweets and other goodies. And, of course, there was the famous egg hunt that we didn’t miss for the world. Now that we got older, it all seemed far less interesting. I guess we weren’t the “target audience” anymore. I did still love eating a good chocolate bunny, though!

To be fair, there were still some good sides to Easter. First of all, we got some days off school, which was always nice. Don’t get me wrong, I got rather good grades and had some cool schoolmates, but going to classes almost every day got boring really fast. I don’t think anyone can disagree on that.

Secondly, Rex and his family were coming for the holidays, which I was super excited about. We haven’t seen each other in months, so I couldn’t wait to catch up and see how he’s been doing. Sure, we texted on the phone here and there, but it wasn’t the same.

After lunch, which was phenomenal as always – and we all made sure to let mom know – I went back to my room to play some video games. Just when I was getting lost in the fantasy medieval world of knights and dragons, there was a knock on my door. Probably Mark, I thought.

“Come in, it’s open,” I said, not moving my eyes from the screen.

“What are you playing?”

Wait, that wasn’t Mark’s voice! I quickly pressed pause and turned around to see Rex standing there with a big grin on his face.

“Hey, when did you get here!?” I almost shouted with excitement, dropping my keyboard down on the desk and jumping from the chair to hug my best friend.

“Just a few hours ago. We just had lunch and now here I am!” he chuckled as he took of his spring jacket and threw it on my bed.

“Why didn’t you send a text or something?”

“Guess I forgot,” he shrugged.

Forgot? Weird, but ok, I didn’t want to press the issue, I was just glad he was there.

“Here, this is from mom,” he said, handing me a bag filled with candy and some toys.

“Oh, thanks! My mom has something for you too, I’m sure she’ll bring it over later!”

As we sat down at my computer and started playing games, we started talking about everything that’s been going on in our lives since we last saw each other. School, his old friends from the neighborhood, his and my new friends from school, movies we watched, comics we read, and all the other stuff kids our age love doing.

After a while, he closed the game – which surprised me because he was winning – and turned to face me. “I’m bored with this game, let’s play something else,” he said, a sheepish smile appearing on his face.

“Sure, like what?” I was pretty much down for anything.

“Let’s play Truth or Dare,” he suggested, moving to sit down on the carpet. I followed suit, sitting facing him.

“So, who’s gonna go first?” I asked, excited to start playing. I knew how the game worked, but I never actually played it with anyone before.

“Since you’re the host, you can ask me first.”

“Ok,” I replied, thinking of what to make him do. “Ok, what do you pick, truth or dare?” Rex looked away, thinking.

“Truth,” he finally said.

“Umm do you prefer it here or in Canada?” I asked.

“Well, I don’t know. At first I wished we didn’t have to move, but I’m so used it living there now, it’s pretty cool. I still love coming here, though!” He said casually. “Ok, now you – truth or dare?”

“Dare!” I said, curious to see what he’ll dare me to do. I just hoped it wouldn’t be something embarrassing, like having to sing in front of my parents – I loved singing, but only when I’m alone, since I have a terrible voice!

“Ok…” he said, smiling mischievously, “I dare you to stroke your cock over your sweatpants for twenty seconds.”

Ok, hold the phone! That totally took me by surprise, I wasn’t sure how to react. I never talked about that stuff with anyone, not schoolmates, not Mark, not even Rex. I looked him in the eyes and he was still smiling at me. I have to admit, I was kind of turned on by his request, especially since he was sitting there in front of me, not moving his eyes from me for a second. That was enough to make my cock start growing.

“Umm ok,” I said insecurely and started rubbing my hand over my cock through my sweatpants. I was already fully hard and it was definitely noticeable.

“Nice!” Rex said excitedly after I finished my twenty seconds of stroking, my cock still refusing to go down. I felt much less embarrassed now that I saw Rex wouldn’t tease me. On the contrary, he seemed to enjoy it. Seeing him all excited and smiling got me relaxed a bit, so I decided to continue the game.

“Ok, your turn. Truth or dare?”

“Hmmm,” Rex pretended he was thinking, and then decided: “Dare!”

I was pretty sure he wanted us to continue what he started, and I was happy to oblige. Ok, he’ll see that two can play that game.

“I dare you to put your hand in your underwear and jerk off for half a minute.”

Rex didn’t need to be told twice. He immediately stuck his right hand inside and started jerking off. While he closed his eyes and stroked his cock, I watched him intently – first his face, and then his crotch. I could clearly see the outline of his cock head and that was enough for my semi to get back to full erection once again.

At that point, I started wishing he would just take it out and let me see it, but I was too afraid to ask. Maybe he would, he seemed to be much more relaxed than me. Still, my nerves won the battle and I kept quiet, satisfied with just looking at him jerk off inside his sweatpants. I was sure that way more than thirty seconds had passed, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to make him stop. Instead, I started stroking my own cock, enjoying the incredible thrill I got from doing it next to Rex.

Soon enough, he opened his eyes and took his hand out.

“That was nice!” he said, as if we hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary. “Did you like it?” he smiled.

“Uh, yeah I did!” I had to be honest.

“Me too,” he replied, glancing at my bulge. I couldn’t help but take a peek at his and saw that he was still hard as well.

That night, I could barely sleep. All I did was lay on my back, stare at the ceiling and replay our Truth or Dare game from that day. I couldn’t remember ever being so excited. What did that mean? Was I gay? I never even thought about that until then… I just never looked at any boy or girl that way before, but now, I was certain that I loved what Rex and I did. I loved watching him do it and I would have loved to see him actually take it out and maybe even… let me touch it? The thoughts made me hard and I hard to jerk off again.

Unfortunately, we didn’t manage to get much privacy for the next few days that Rex was here, so we didn’t get to repeat our wonderful new game. I was trying very hard to hide my disappointment over that, but failed miserably. Fortunately, my parents thought I was just sad that Rex was leaving, so they didn’t question me about it.

Now that Rex was gone, I still had to figure out what all of this meant for me. I couldn’t stop thinking about what we did and I wanted to do it again. Why did I like it so much, was it because of Rex? Would I like it with another boy, or maybe a girl?

Help came completely unexpectedly, while I was in a nearby store, looking to buy some ice-cream for Mark and me. As I was walking through the isles, I noticed the magazine rack and started browsing through it. My eyes quickly caught a tabloid that had some famous athlete on the cover, posing in just his underwear. Ohhh, I definitely liked what I saw – his sexy body on display, handsome smiling face and bulging biceps. Standing there and thinking whether to buy it or not, I felt something stirring in my crotch. Yup, I’m definitely taking this with me!

With the tabloid safely tucked under my sweatshirt, I felt like I was some kind of a criminal who just bought drugs from a dealer in a dark alley. I couldn’t wait to get home and inspect the magazine in the privacy of my own room. As soon as I got home, I gave Mark his ice-cream and ran off to my room to hide away the magazine until I was able to check it out in peace.

Luckily, I didn’t have to wait long. That night, when everyone settled in their own rooms, I took out the tabloid from under my bed and frantically flipped the pages, trying to find the cover story. Stopping right in the middle, I gasped – there he was! Two full pages of his pictures, some shirtless with pants on, some with just the tiniest pair of underwear that left little to imagination! Needless to say, my cock and I had a field day!

Over the next few weeks and months, I became increasingly curious and started exploring and figuring out what I liked. One of the things I realized rather quickly, a few days after I bought the first magazine with the sexy athlete, was that I felt nothing when looking at girls. The magazine had lots of pictures of girls that I assumed would be considered hot, but I felt nothing looking at them. Even the ones in a bikini – nothing.

It was probably because I was young and naïve, but I quite easily came to terms with the fact that I was gay. I just accepted it as a fact of life, never even thinking that it was something that could cause me trouble or pain later in life. Of course, I didn’t want to share that with anybody, I was too embarrassed for that. I never even talked about sex to my parents or Mark, I’d rather have the earth swallow me whole. I just decided it would be something I’d keep to myself, at least for the time being.

Besides, I had other things on my mind at that point – the summer break was about to start, and that meant Rex and his family were coming again! The thought about the two of us continuing what we started during his last visit did cross my mind, but I was mostly just excited to see him again.

As we were in the dining room, having dinner, the doorbell rang and my mom got up to welcome the guests.

“Slow down, buddy, you’re gonna choke,” my dad said as I started nearly inhaling the food, wanting to finish dinner as soon as possible so I could go and hang out with Rex.

“Sorry, dad,” I said, mouth half full.

“Welcome back! How was the flight?” I heard my mom say to the guests, letting them into the living room.

“It was good, thanks! It’s good to be here, we’re definitely ready to get some rest,” Rex’s dad said.

Something felt weird, so I hurried up with my dinner despite my dad’s looks, and went to the living room. Wait, there were just the three of them – Mr. and Mrs. Lewis and their daughter, Rose.

“Where’s Rex?” I said, standing there utterly confused, even forgetting to say hi.

“Hey, sweetie,” Rex’s mom greeted me warmly, as always. “Oh, Rex didn’t come with us this time. Didn’t he text you?”

“No,” I said, still looking as if I just saw an alien. I couldn’t understand, he always came. Always. Especially now that we… Didn’t he want to…?

“Yeah, he went on a summer camp with some friends from school,” she said nonchalantly, waving her arms, oblivious to the fact that I was looking at her completely baffled. “I’m surprised he didn’t call you to let you know he wasn’t coming. Oh, you guys will see each other next time we come, probably for Thanksgiving, or maybe Christmas.”

“Yeah, cool,” I said and quietly went to my room, disappointment and confusion written all over my face.