Phoenix Lights - 9. CHALICE

Sunday, May 31, 1997

Jeffrey sat on the couch, pretending to watch cartoons on Nick; they were showing reruns of Ren & Stimpy. Every so often, a booming voice filled his head, talking about the Pharisees and Jesus and stuff.

Jesus, this sucks, Sean thought.

Careful, he might hear you. Jeffrey shifted in his seat, pulling his blanket up under his chin.

At least you get to be all lazy on Sundays.

Not really. It’s like I’m there with you. Mutual suffering and all that.

He could feel Sean smirk, followed immediately by a light smack up the back of his head from dear ol’ Mom. Jeffrey could see Sean’s Mother’s angry face in Sean’s vision, and his focus returning to the pulpit.

Jeffrey noticed Sean’s eyes wandering toward a statue of Jesus, hanging on the cross, glancing skyward in his final moments, holy expressions of Father, why hast thou forsaken me?!

Jesus was buff, Jeffrey jokingly thought.

That’s not Jesus, Sean thought back, That’s Cesare Borgia dressed as Jesus. Some people back in the old days didn’t like the idea of Jesus not being white.

What did he look like, then?

Nobody really knows. Maybe we should ask our little green friends next time they stop by for milk and cookies.

Jeffrey chewed on the thought for a bit; the beings hadn’t been back in a long time. They had made it through the rest of the school year, the separation sickness lessening over time. In fact, their range had seemed to increase enough that they could almost connect with each other.

A bad taste coated Jeffrey’s mouth as he became aware that Sean had just taken sacramental bread. All he could see, from Sean’s perspective, were white priest robes and a gaudy-looking chalice coming toward his face.

I bet that priest has a huge dick! Jeffrey jokingly thought.

He could feel Sean choking on the sacramental wine, and noticed, as Sean had also, that everyone in the front of the church was staring at him. I’m going to fucking kill you, Sean thought dimly. Asshole. Sean wiped the wine off his chin with a napkin his mother handed him out of her purse.

Sorry, Jeffrey thought back.

Ever since the Homeward Bound thing, Jeffrey and Sean had been trying to outdo each other in inappropriate laughter situations. Apparently, getting a reaction out of Sean during the sacrament had taken it one step too far.

** ** **

Jeffrey and Sean stood on the sidewalk as Tom rolled up to the curb in a 1990 Pontiac Fiero, with a livery in maroon and silver. Sean elbowed Jeffrey in the side. I bet I know what you’re getting on your 16th birthday.

Jeffrey grumbled, slightly jealous that his sister was getting a car. Bet they won’t get me a sports car like this, he thought back.

Behind them, the front door shot open. Jeffrey’s mother guided a blind-folded Emily out onto the front porch. “Almost there, honey.”

Emily held her arms out in front of her, sweeping the path in front of her with a toe so she didn’t trip. “Mom! Let me take this off, I can’t see.”

“Okay, you can take it off.”

Tom slapped a comically oversized bow on the roof of the car.

Once Emily managed to get the blindfold off, she squinted down the driveway and let out an unearthly scream when she saw the car.

Jeffry felt Sean flinch. Jesus!

Mine better be a ‘Vette or something. Jeffrey watched his sister run down the driveway to check out her new wheels.

Just be happy they’ll buy you a car. My mom said I have to buy my own. Speaking of which, Sean turned slightly toward Jeffrey and locked eyes with him, why are you saving money for a car if your parents are getting you one?

Because I’ll have to pay for the gas and everything else, like tires and oil changes.

Sean nodded. Fair enough.

Well, this was exciting. Let’s find something to do before she throws on a bikini and starts washing it down.

** ** **

Monday, June 2, 1997

A news report had interrupted the normal pop-ish songs that had been playing on the radio; it was a live from from the Timothy McVeigh trial. He was being convicted for his part in the terrorist attack in Oklahoma.

Emily was driving Jeffrey and their mother to the nearby TCBY in her new car, and the girls listened to the radio with rapt attention.

Jeffrey, tucked away in the back seat, had his focus elsewhere. His mental theater presented Sean fighting with his mother. She was sending Sean to church camp for a month, and weather Sean wanted to go or not, he’d be leaving the following Monday.

Sean argued that he was too old to go, and that he hated camp. In fact, he’d tried almost everything in his book as a case against it, but Sean knew he wasn’t getting out of it. Still, he fought.

Jeffrey let out a heavy sigh, wondering what he would do for a month. Worse yet, the camp was a hundred-or-so miles away. There would be no connection, and he feared for both of them. How were they going to live through it?

Jeffrey’s mother turned in her seat. “What’s wrong?”

“Sean is leaving for camp for a month,” he said without thinking about it, still watching the mental drama unfold before him.

“Bummer, man,” Emily said dismissively.

“You two will have the rest of the summer when he gets back,” his mother said. “I’m sure you’ll find something to do until he gets back.”

“You wouldn’t understand,” he mumbled. He looked up when he realised she was staring at him.

“Excuse me?”

Jeffrey shook his head. “Sorry. It’s nothing.” He reserved himself not to say anything for the rest of the afternoon.

** ** **

The boys sat on Jeffrey’s bed, the afternoon wearing on. They didn’t say anything or think anything, they simply cross-loaded raw emotion.

The sound of Emily’s Fiero rattled through the walls from outside.

Shit, Jeffrey thought. At least she probably won’t be here long.

They sat and listened; they could hear Emily walking through the house. Five minutes later, they heard her rev up her car and leave again.

Sean sat back. We have to figure this out.

I know, Jeffrey replied. He kissed the back of Sean’s hand.

Maybe I should just run away.

We couldn’t hide you here. Only place in the house where nobody would find you was in the basement. With my dad being a cop, you’d have a hard time hiding anywhere within two miles.

Sean sighed. I’m worried about the headaches. It’s going to be a miserable month.

I’m worried about everything else.

** ** **

Tuesday, June 10, 1997

The hiss of of the faucet stabbed Jeffrey deep inside his brain. He held the washcloth under the cool water, and soaked the cloth. Turning off the faucet, he wrung out the rag and started to pad back to his bedroom from the kitchen.

He almost ran square into his sister.

“Hey! Watch it,” she snapped.

He quietly side-stepped her and started toward his room.

“What’s your problem?”

He stopped short of his door and turned his shoulder toward her. “My head hurts,” he mumbled.

“What?” Her voice drilled into his brain.

“I have a migraine,” he said, sending an ache through his head. He winced and pushed through the door. He flopped down on his bed and pushed the cold washcloth across his forehead and rested his arm across his eyes. He heard the door open.

Jeffrey lowered his arm and stared at his sister, who was standing in the doorway. “What?” he muttered.

“You want me to call mom and tell her your you still have a headache?”

Jeffrey covered his eyes again. “No. I just… I need rest.”

She backed out of the room.

It had only been a day since Sean had gone to camp, and the headaches were already worse than they’d ever been.

** ** **

Jeffrey woke up to the smell of dinner being cooked, the orange afternoon light leaking in through his window. He swung his legs around and planted his feet on the ground, his head throbbing as he sat up. Slowly, he stood up and walked out the door; he needed a Tylenol or something.

He squinted his eyes against the light coming from the living room, padding into the kitchen.

His mother turned toward him. “Are you feeling better?” The meat in the pan sputtered and cracked; the smell made him nauseous.

Jeffrey shook his head.

“You want something for it? I have some Excedrin Migraine in my bathroom.”

Jeffrey nodded.

She left the kitchen as he stood in the middle of the room, swaying in place. His head hurt so bad that he was seeing colors. His vision started getting dark in the corners.

There was a very soft noise: splat… splat… splat…

“Jeffrey! Your nose is bleeding,” his mother said, taking several steps into the kitchen and stopping. “Go lean over the sink.”

That’s when his legs went out from under him.

** ** **

There was a ringing in Jeffrey’s ears. He was starting to come to, and a smell reminded him of his father’s antiperspirant. He cracked his eyes slightly, the light making his head pound, and realized that he was being carried in his father’s arms.

“Don’t do this to me, buddy. Don’t do this.” He’d never heard panic in his father’s voice like that before.

“Dad?” he said, weakly. He snuggled his face into Tom’s chest, gripping at his sleeve tightly. “Dad?”

Jeffrey went in and out of consciousness, laid across his father’s lap the whole way to the hospital in the back of the family car, his father holding him the entire way there.

** ** **

“I feel funny.” Jeffrey opened his eyes and tried to look around, but immediately felt sick. “Fuck,” he hissed. “Why do-- why do I feel so weird?” In the back of his mind, he realised that his migraine had subsided, for the time being.

Several nurses stood over him, and flashes went through his brain of the malevolent beings who had once stood over him in a similar way. His jaw clenched, a growl coming from his throat, his brain unable to tell a nurse from a specter.

“I think he’s going into another grand mal,” one of the nurses shouted over her shoulder.

The other nurse injected something into his IV tube. Almost instantly, the world and faded away into darkness.

** ** **

Jeffrey woke up. He couldn’t feel anything, he just was.

Tom sat in a chair to his right, his eyes red and glossy. When Jeffrey made eye contact with his father, Tom jumped from his seat and stood over him.

Jeffrey could feel the weight of his father’s hand as he set it gently upon his chest. He swallowed, the adam’s apple in his neck bobbing. “Hey, buddy,” he said softly.

“What happened?” Jeffrey asked.

“You’ve had a few seizures. We’re waiting for a radiologist to take you down to get an MRI scan done. You need anything? You need the nurse?”

“No, Dad. I’m okay.”

Tom took Jeffrey’s hand and squeezed it. “I love you, bud. More than anything in this world. You know that?”

“I know, dad. I love you, too.”

“You need to fight this. I need… you need to fight this, okay? Hang on for me, no matter what.”

“Dad, you’re scaring me.”

“I’m scared, too. I’m more scared than I’ve ever been in my life right now. But we’ll get you through this, okay?”

“Dad?”

A doctor walked into the room behind him. “Can we talk in the hall?” he asked quietly.

Tom squeezed his hand and left.

A short time later, his sister walked in. She stopped and brushed the hair off his forehead.

“Emily, what’s going on?”

She shook her head. “Nobody knows yet. You’re scaring the shit out of Mom and Dad, though.”

“I didn’t mean to scare anyone. Emily, do they know something?”

She hesitated. “I haven’t heard anything, yet.”

Jeffrey did his best to shoot her a dirty look.

Emily held up her hands. “I swear.”

“Emily, I need you to do something. But you can’t tell anyone.”

She leaned forward. “What is it?”

“I need you to get Sean. He needs to be here.”

“You need to see the doctors. You’ll see Sean--”

“Emily, stop. I’m here because he’s so far away. This happens when he’s too far away.”

She stared at him.

Quietly, he explained the link. He explained everything he could about him and Sean, leaving out select details about their fondness for each other. “I don’t know why, but they have something to do with it,” he said.

“Who?”

“The lights, Emily.” He sighed, and thought for a moment. “That’s how we tricked you that one time. I swear I’m not lying to you. I was reading the pages and he was repeating what I saw. We are connected somehow.”

“I think the medication is making you crazy--”

“It’s not the goddamn medication,” he yelled.

She shushed him. “Don’t strain yourself.”

“Emily, I guarantee you that whatever is going on with me is happening to him. Call his mom and check in on him. At least you can do that. Please!”

She brushed his forehead again. “I’m going to get Dad.” She gave him a pitiful smirk and walked out of the room.

** ** **

Emily hoisted her mother’s overnight bag over her shoulder, and glanced around the bathroom for anything else she might have missed. She went down her mental checklist of essentials, things like toothpaste, deodorant, hair brush, a small makeup kit.

She couldn’t quite put aside the thought that her little brother might have a brain tumor, or at very least may have been epileptic and was only now starting to show symptoms. What else could it be? She wondered, trying to keep herself together. The stories of aliens and psychic connections--something was going on in his brain, and she knew she had to force herself not to think of the worst-case scenario. She collected her purse and walked to the living room, doing one last survey in hopes that she hadn’t forgot something.

Emily knew that Jeffrey would be getting his MRI just about then, and they’d both be getting to his room by the time she got back to the hospital. She backed out of the door and locked it behind her. As she turned, she spotted Sean’s mother across the street, pacing across the driveway talking urgently on a wireless landline phone.

Emily walked to her car, throwing the bags into the back seat, and crawled in. She gripped the steering wheel, watching the woman across the road, a pang of guilt hitting her. All Jeffrey wanted her to do was check on Sean.

“It’s not aliens,” she said under her breath, resting her car key against the ignition. She hesitated, and looked into the rear-view mirror.

Sean’s mother, phone pressed to her ear and other hand on her forehead, fell back against the side of her own car.

Emily sighed and got out, watching this woman she didn’t even know, debating whether or not she should even bother.

The woman hung up the phone and signed a holy cross, then stared at the ground.

Slowly, Emily walked across the street. “Um, hello,” she said softly.

Sean’s mother jerked in surprise at the sound of Emily’s voice.

“I’m Emily, from across the street. My little brother is friends with Sean.”

She stared back at Emily, wiping a hand across her face to clear off a few tears.

“Is everything okay?”

She sighed deeply, and shrugged. “I don’t really know. The people at the camp he’s going to aren’t telling me what’s going on, and they said I have to go down there to see him. It’s a mess.”

“Is… is Sean sick?”

She nodded, which turned into a head shake. “They said it’s bad.”

“Oh, my god,” Emily said under her breath.

“He was fine two days ago. Fighting with me but fine. Now some ditzy secretary tells me he’s in a hospital bed, and she won’t tell me anything else. I need to get to him but I’m a wreck right now. I already lost his brother. This can’t happen.” She clasped her hands together under her chin, as if she were praying. “Why does God test me?”

Emily’s brain spun. What if Jeffrey had been telling the truth? What if they really did have a connection? “I know I barely know you, but if you’d like, I can drive you.”

“Honey, I appreciate the offer, but it’s a hundred miles off.”

“That’s fine. I have a fast car.” She held her hand back toward her Fiero. “See? I’ll bet we’d get there in no time.”

** ** **

Emily stepped into the hospital room where her brother had been staying. Her father had gone to work, but her mother was sitting in the room by herself. “Where’s Jeffrey?”

Her mother glanced up at her. “He’s still getting his scan. He had another seizure after you left. They put him on some pretty heavy drugs, so he’ll probably be out until tomorrow.” She smiled sadly.

Emily wrapped her arms around her. “I brought your bag for you.”

“Thank you,” her mother replied, weakly. “Why don’t you head home? He’s not going to be up for a while. I’ll call you at home if anything changes.”

For a split moment, Emily was glad she wasn’t going to have to explain going out of town with Sean’s mother, even though she knew she should ask for permission. “Is it okay if I go out tonight? I don’t want to be by myself. I just keep thinking bad thoughts.”

Her mother fished through her bag, and handed Emily her ATM card. “Take out forty dollars. It’d probably be a good idea to go see a movie or something. If anything happens, I’ll just leave a voicemail at home.”

Emily nodded. “Okay. If he wakes up tonight, tell him I’m going to do that thing I promised him, so he doesn’t worry.”

“What thing?”

“Wanted me to return a video to Sean’s mom because it’s overdue. Forgot to do it when I was back.”

“Oh,” she nodded. “Just be careful. I’ll check in later. If I miss you, I’ll see you in the morning.”

After one more hug, Emily left the hospital to pick up Sean’s mom.