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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

The Secret Life Of Billy Chase 9 - 45. Chapter 45

Sunday


- Okaaay, so I'm not the greatest cook in the world, alright? It's not like I didn't know that ahead of time, but I was trying to do something nice for my mom this morning. I made sure to wake up early enough to try to make us both some breakfast...and, well...that didn't go so well.

I mean, it was supposed to be, like, a special 'truce' breakfast, you know? How hard could it be to scramble some eggs, fry up some bacon, and flip a few pancakes?

Apparently a LOT harder than I ever thought possible.

The eggs kept sticking to the bottom of the hot pan, and the second I turned my head away from them, they started to burn! What the HELL? Are eggs even supposed to cook that fast? And why the fuck does bacon cook on the ends and the outsides to the point of burning, but stays cold and rubbery in the middle? How the heck does my mom manage to get it all crispy and cooked through? Do you have any idea how LONG bacon strips are? They don't fit in a pan! Not in ANY pan! And then it shrinks up, and I'm stuck trying to get it back in the pan so the raw parts will cook, and I try to flip it over, but...ugh! Nothing about cooking bacon makes any kind of logical fucking sense! I'm so LOST with this shit!

And don't even get me started on making pancakes! Is it possible to flip a pancake without runny batter sloshing all over the place, or accidentally folding the damn thing in half? And without burning one side black and having a mushy mess in the middle? I'm starting to think that my mom's breakfast skills have been severely underestimated over the years.

Eventually, the smoke from the kitchen reached my mom's bedroom...either that, or my angrily whispered curse words as I struggled through the art of not burning the house down. She walked into the kitchen, and was like, "Billy? What on Earth are you doing in here?"

Yeah...it was kind of embarrassing to have her catch me in the middle of such a childish mess, but I was like, "I thought...maybe I'd make us some breakfast this morning. You know...do a little something different."

My mom tried not to make a face when she looked at the scavenger garbage that I was attempting to put on a plate for her consumption...but I could read her expression easily. I fucked it up. Goddammit...so much for making amends.

She walked in and turned on the exhaust fan over the stove to get some of the smoke out of the kitchen before it set off any of the house's smoke detectors. Then she just shook her head and asked, "Don't you have to work today?"

I'm like, "Not for a few hours."

She said, "Ok. Well...why don't you get a shower in and...I'll clean this up and make us something to eat. Ok?"

I felt like such a failure. The whole point of me even attempting this magnificent feat was to make it so she didn't have to make us breakfast. I'm just...I was really trying to do something right today, ok? I just wasn't any good at it.

Before allowing her to successfully 'shoo' me out of the kitchen, I mumbled, "I'm sorry. I just wanted...to do something nice for you."

She heard the disappointment in my voice, and she gave me a hug. "It's ok, honey. I know. Just...let me help you next time, ok?"

I don't know what it was that I was feeling at that moment, but I suddenly just surrendered to the comfort of her casual embrace...and I found myself holding on for longer than she might have intended. It just made me realize how long it had been since we had even really touched one another. We've been at odds for longer than a mother and son should be, in my opinion. Something about holding her like that just moved me.

My parents split up because of all the things that went unsaid. I love my dad, but I don't want to become him. Not in this sense. I think I can be 'better' in that respect.

I think the unexplained affection caught her off guard at first, but she welcomed it by squeezing me tight and placing a gentle kiss on the top of my head. There was SO much that I wanted to tell her. So much that I wanted to apologize for. But I couldn't find any words that would match what I thought she needed to hear. I couldn't speak at all. I could hug...but I couldn't speak. How weird is that.

I think she got a little misty eyed, and kissed me again before letting me go. With a quivering voice, she said, "Go. Get ready for work. I'll make us a proper breakfast. K?"

Oh God...was she holding back tears? What have I done? I'm such a rotten asshole sometimes. The shame of it caused my eyes to water up a bit as well. But I just nodded and said, "Ok. I love you, Mom..."

She's like, "Love you too, sweetheart." And she had to wipe her eyes as she turned to clean up the unintentional mess that I had made. She really is an amazing woman. I take her for granted more than I should. If I'm going to assume the role of 'man of the house'...as if I even know what that means at this age...then I should fix that. I really should.

I swear, the more I learn about myself, the more I realize that I've got a LOT to work to do when it just comes to being a decent human being. Maybe that's why so many people avoid this part of growing up. Nobody likes to wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and be critical of the person they see staring back at them. They'd rather lie to themselves and pretend that it's the rest of the planet that has it all wrong.

Must be nice.

Unfortunately, my ego isn't big enough to believe that kind of delusion about myself. I might have Sam to thank for constantly keeping me in check. If I can't fool my best friend, who AM I fooling? Why even bother with the lie at that point, you know?

Anyway, my mom just made us some awesome bacon and egg sandwiches this morning. Actual, crispy, well cooked, bacon and eggs that actually looked like...eggs. I need her to teach me how to do that! And then there was the thin layer of mayonnaise on each slice of bread...and it was SO delicious! She's an expert when it comes to making the simplest things awesome!

I know that it wasn't necessarily a 'talk', but...at least we both acknowledged the idea that a talk was going to be possible in the near future. Might as well be diplomatic about this whole thing. Right?

I went to work feeling good about the whole thing, but work was a bit...weird today.

Scott asked me if I could come in tomorrow to work Dizzy's shift for him. He felt bad for asking, but apparently Dizz is having some emotional issues at the moment and needs some time away from the rest of the world until he feels better. I don't mind the extra hours, and I wasn't doing anything tomorrow anyway. But...I have to say that I was a bit worried about what Dizz was going through. Nobody wanted to talk about it. Nobody could tell me what was happening. Was it serious? Was it temporary? I didn't want to pry, but...dammit! Can somebody at least clue me in as to what's going on here? It's not fair for them to know when I don't!

Business was pretty slow today. I guess everybody is back-to-school shopping for clothes and materials these days. I can't believe the Summer is already over. It raced by me in the blink of an eye. I had soooo much that I wanted to do, and now I've got a week left to get it all together. I should have spent a lot more time with Brandon than I did. I know that we kinda put a cramp in things by having my mom, quite literally, catch us with our pants down...but I'm sure we could have found a way to work around it. Hell, he probably spent more time with Stevie than he did with me. And that's just not cool at all.

Speaking of things that aren't cool...Robin did something really weird today. After watching his moodswings toss him from joyful grins to nearly bursting into tears, it's hard for me to ever know if I should approach him or not on any given day. But today? I mean...what the hell?

He smiled at me a few times, and tried a few times to make small talk. We haven't really talked to each other much since he went back to dating that walking pile of sewer vermin, AJ...so it was odd for him to be so nice to me again out of the blue. It's not like we had any real friction between us or anything, but to say that we were more than casual, friendly, acquaintances...would be stretching things.

Then...without warning...he's all like, "You know, I was thinking about grabbing some of those wireless headphones from behind the front counter one of these days. So I can walk around the basement with the music blasting, and the bass up, but without ny pesky wires holding me back."

Why would Robin even bother to tell me that. I'm like, "Okaaay..." Again, I wasn't trying to be rude. It's just...what the hell? You know?

I think he was waiting for me to stretch the conversation a bit more, but I just kept stocking the shelf with product. There was a slightly awkward pause, and then he's like, "Of course, it would probably be cheaper to just get some booming speakers down there, but I don't think my parents would go for it. They'd get on my ass about the noise, I'm sure. I'd really only be able to turn it up when they were away at work or something."

Where is he going with this? I scraped together a few words and I told him, "Yeah. That would suck. You might be better off with the headphones then. Sometimes, a little extra dough is worth it."

That's when Robin says, "Yeah. You're probably right." Another pause. Then he's like, "You haven't been over in a while. The basement looks a little bit different now. I rearranged a few things...you should come over some time. You know? Just to hang out."

Just to WHAT??? What the hell is he talking about? I'm like, "I don't know, Robin...I pretty much migrate from home, to work, and then back home again. It can be a bit tiring."

Robin says, "I hear you. Me too." He said. Then he smiled at me again. "Still, if you ever just want to come over and chill for a bit...my door's always open."

Ok, now...am I having a weird 'ego moment', or is Robin hitting on me? Am I imagining this? We have NEVER gotten together to 'chill for a bit'! I came over and pounded his ass on more than a few occasions, and then participated in a few regretful threesomes with him and AJ...but that's it. And I'm not in the business of giving my body over to that kinda lustful impulse anymore. I'm not that boy anymore. I have a boyfriend now. One that I love. One that I want to keep.

Certainly one that I don't ever want to hurt again by being a reckless asshole with his feelings.

I just sorta gave Robin a strange look, and didn't bother to comment on his 'offer'. Like I said...maybe I was making it all up in my head, but I tried once to see if Robin might be the kinda boy that I could get close to. And we're just not compatible in any way other than we both really like sex. I'm not proud of the afternoons that I spent down there in Robin's basement, selling myself short. I found something truly beautiful in my life. I'd take my Brandon at a distance over some close and personal sex with a couple of hot boys ANY day!

Looks like AJ isn't giving Robin what he thought he wanted, after all.

Then again...sometimes, being within reach doesn't necessarily equal being 'close', does it? Robin had to learn that the hard way. But hey...it's not like I didn't warn him.

I don't know why I'm so sleepy tonight, but I'm going to wrap this up and talk to Brandon for a little while before I doze off. Just to let him know that I got pulled into picking up an extra shift tomorrow. Monday mornings suck at the mall. All of the past weekend's life essence gets drained out of the entire building, and it takes a few days to start building up again in preparation for the weekend to come. But I might as well do Dizzy a solid and make some much needed cash on the side on top of it. Besides...sighhhh...Brandon's going to Stevie's tomorrow like he always does on Mondays. I'd probably just get in the way if I sat around the house texting him all day long. I'm just going to step aside and leave that whole situation alone. I don't belong anywhere near that mess.

Oh look...I just checked my messages and I got another one from Jimmy. Gee, what a surprise.

NOW what is he whining and crying about?

"Billy...I just wanted to say that I was sorry about what I said before. You know I didn't mean it, right? I just...I miss you, ok? Haven't we played this stupid game for long enough? Just call me when you get this. No matter how late. I wanna hear your voice. Can't we just talk? Please? I'm trying to make things right here.

I love you.

- Jimmy"

Yeah. Whatever. Very sweet. Thanks. Annnnd...'delete'.

I thought he hated me so much that it made him laugh out loud? And now he misses me and wants to talk? That's a pretty psychotic switch in attitude.

NOPE!

I've learned my lesson, and I'm no longer a fan. So he can be mean to me, he can be nice to me, he can cut off a fuckin' testicle and send it to me in the mail...but me and Jimmy LaPlane are done. He was cool at one point, but he's not that person anymore. And despite more sweet and dreamy moments that we once shared as friends...all I see is who he is right now. And I don't see a need to work up the minimal energy it takes to even care, much less react.

Go to hell, Jimmy. How's that for a 'talk'?

Alright, gotta run. More tomorrow. I've got Tuesday off from work. Maybe Brandon and I can find some time to be alone. God knows I need some lovin' right about now. :)

Laters!

- Billy

Copyright © 2017 Comicality; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

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What?  Robin wasn't able to change AJ, and he just got used and dumped again? 😱 I'm so surprised!!!

Joking aside, though, I wonder what he was thinking when he said that.  I mean, he knows Billy's not available, so why is he doing this?  I really want to like Robin, but I just can't trust him right now, not after he traded in his self-respect for a bit of naughty time with AJ.

 

As for Jimmy, I think he's just trying to get attention.  I feel bad for him a little bit when all he wants is for Billy to give him the slightest bit of importance, but he brought this on himself, so whatever.  Billy was his friend, he would've been there for him any time, but Jimmy had to throw it all away to selfishly try to keep him to himself.  The fact that he'd rather have Billy be miserable with him than happy with someone else tells me that he doesn't really love him after all.

 

I don't get why Billy doesn't just block him and be done with it.

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Battled myself so many times.

What I was isn’t what I want now.

We can seek denile and search for miles.

 

Blessed love, the love I need.

Rolling Drums, the Loveless bleed.

 

Take my hand.

In belief we trace our steps.

Understand, there’s no relief

In silhouettes.

 

XOXOX

Edited by MrM
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Hi Com, been a while since I commented.

 

Loved this chapter, cant wait for chapter 50. Chapter 50 always has some crazy stuff going on!

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I’m a little suspicious that Billy might be only seeing half the picture with Robin’s loaded invitation. I mean yes it could be that he’s not happy with AJ as well as potentially currently dumped by him meaning he’s now turning to Billy for sex if not even possibly hoping for an actual relationship with him considering how sweet Billy can be vs AJ yet I can’t help wondering if AJ is behind this invitation. AJ is twisted so I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he’s either just hoping to tempt Billy into cheating on his current boyfriend just because he enjoys causing trouble nor would I be surprised if it was actually a plan by AJ to get Billy to take part in another threesome with him & Robin. I mean AJ only cares about AJ so this possibly being a plan to get into Billy’s pants with Robin’s help wouldn’t surprise me especially as he seems to have Robin wrapped around his little finger so I doubt it would be hard to talk Robin into seducing Billy. I’m a little worried that something to do with Brandon and Stevie will cause Billy to end up back in bed with Robin if not Robin & AJ especially with this open invitation to “hangout”. Billy is in my opinion justifiably a little jealous as he has no idea what goes on between Brandon & Stevie when they are alone so I’m worried that eventually he’ll either see something fairly innocent between them that looks worse than it is causing him to make a impulsive decision he’ll regret or I’m worried there’s a chance that while he doesn’t seem like the type that he will actually find evidence Brandon is cheating on him. I always mention this which I know is annoying that I continuously mention it yet I still can’t get over the picture of Brandon & Stevie kissing that Jimmy showed Billy which was never explained away when he mentioned it to Brandon. I mean Billy seems to have forgotten it yet I recall Brandon just saying it was innocent when the photo was brought up by Billy and him not saying anything to refute it like the photo was taken before they broke up which would have been believable whether truth or lie considering he & Stevie used to date. The idea that he kissed Stevie while dating Billy just doesn’t sit well with me as while Stevie might be having a tough time lately you don’t comfort an ex boyfriend, especially when you’re in a relationship, by kissing them. Brandon doesn’t seem like the type to cheat but Stevie might be the type to tempt him which at his young, hormonal age along with the fact he’s not having sex with Billy very often might be enough to get Brandon to do something he shouldn’t. Brandon is also somewhat less experienced than Billy, not that he’s aware of this, so he might be more tempted than Billy would he in his place considering Billy seems able to resist Robin’s offer despite being in the same boat as Brandon when it comes to a lack of sex lately not to mention most of what we know about Brandon’s personality is from Billy’s POV so we can’t truly know with certainty that he’s not the type of cheat I suppose despite that fact it feels like that’s not something he’d...normally do. This story just has me imagining drama that may never come and at the same time despite their being no evidence to support it I have a feeling more drama is heading Billy’s way.

 

 

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Well, that's great. I now know how not to have breakfast.
then Billy in the shop makes the big psychlogen.na then the daily phone call at Brandon.well Brandon and stevie are every Monday together .probably it would be interesting Mondays to see at stevie and brandon .

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For shame, Billy! What teenager doesn't know how to cook bacon and eggs?! Jokes aside, I have to agree with @NimirRaj. Robin's sudden turn of mood seems like a trap to get poor Billy into a three-way with AJ. I hope Dizzy is okay. Comsie, you're such a Dizzy tease!  :P

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Billy's life will never be "normal" until he become more assertive and demands to know what is going -on. There are too many secrets and not knowing is only causing Billy's stress level to rise. I really think that a very long talk between Billy and Brandon is very important to the survival of their relationship. When school starts Billy may be bombarded with others telling him what they know. School will be a deciding factor for Stevie, too. Will Stevie step-up and take his life into his own hands, thereby owning and controlling his life.   

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On 20.12.2018 at 17:50, NimirRaj said:

Ich bin ein bisschen misstrauisch, dass Billy mit Robins geladener Einladung vielleicht nur das halbe Bild sieht. Ich meine, ja, es könnte sein, dass er mit AJ nicht glücklich ist und möglicherweise derzeit von ihm abgeladen wird, was bedeutet, dass er sich jetzt an Billy wendet, wenn es um Sex geht, wenn er nicht auf eine tatsächliche Beziehung mit ihm hofft, wenn man bedenkt, wie süß Billy gegen AJ sein kann, obwohl ich kann Ich frage mich, ob AJ hinter dieser Einladung steckt. AJ ist verdreht, also wäre ich nicht überrascht zu erfahren, dass er entweder nur versucht, Billy dazu zu verleiten, seinen derzeitigen Freund zu betrügen, nur weil er gerne Ärger macht, oder wäre ich überrascht, wenn es tatsächlich ein Plan von AJ war, Billy dazu zu bringen, ihn mitzunehmen Teil an einem weiteren Dreier mit ihm und Robin. Ich meine, AJ kümmert sich nur um AJ, also wäre es vielleicht ein Plan, mit Robins Hilfe in Billys Hose zu steigen, vor allem, da er Robin um seinen kleinen Finger gewickelt zu haben scheint, und ich bezweifle, dass es schwer sein könnte, Robin dazu zu bringen, zu verführen Billy Ich bin etwas besorgt, dass etwas mit Brandon und Stevie zu tun hat, was dazu führt, dass Billy mit Robin zurück im Bett landet, wenn nicht Robin & AJ, besonders mit dieser offenen Einladung zum "Hangout". Billy ist meiner Meinung nach zu Recht ein wenig neidisch, da er keine Ahnung hat, was zwischen Brandon und Brandon passiert. Stevie, wenn sie alleine sind, also mache ich mir Sorgen, dass er irgendwann etwas Unschuldiges sieht, das schlimmer aussieht, als wenn er eine impulsive Entscheidung trifft, die er bereuen wird, oder ich habe Angst, dass es eine Chance gibt scheint nicht der Typ zu sein, den er tatsächlich finden wird, wenn Brandon ihn betrügt. Ich erwähne immer das, von dem ich weiß, dass es unangenehm ist, dass ich es ständig erwähne, aber ich kann immer noch nicht über das Bild von Brandon und Stevies Kuss, dass Jimmy Billy gezeigt hat, gezeigt werden, was nie erklärt wurde, als er es Brandon gegenüber erwähnte. Ich meine, Billy scheint es vergessen zu haben, aber ich erinnere mich, dass Brandon nur gesagt hat, es sei unschuldig, als das Foto von Billy aufgenommen wurde und er nichts dagegen aussprach, als wäre das Foto gemacht worden, bevor sie sich aufgelöst hatten, was glaubwürdig gewesen wäre, ob Wahrheit oder Wahrheit lügen, wenn er & Stevie pflegte bis heute zu tun. Die Idee, dass er Stevie geküsst hat, während er mit Billy zusammen ist, passt nicht gut zu mir, während Stevie in letzter Zeit eine schwierige Zeit hat, trösten Sie keinen Ex-Freund, besonders wenn Sie in einer Beziehung sind, indem Sie sie küssen. Brandon scheint nicht der Typ zu sein, den man betrügen soll, aber Stevie könnte der Typ sein, der ihn in Versuchung führt, was in seinem jungen, hormonellen Alter zusammen mit der Tatsache, dass er keinen Sex mit Billy hat, oft genug ausreicht, um Brandon dazu zu bringen, etwas zu tun, was er sollte. t. Brandon ist auch etwas weniger erfahren als Billy, nicht dass er sich dessen bewusst ist, Er könnte mehr versucht sein als Billy, wenn er an seiner Stelle wäre, wenn man bedenkt, dass Billy in der Lage ist, Robins Angebot zu widerstehen, obwohl er im selben Boot wie Brandon ist, wenn es in letzter Zeit an Sex mangelt. Ganz zu schweigen von dem, was wir über Brandons Persönlichkeit wissen von Billy's POV, also können wir nicht wirklich mit Sicherheit wissen, dass er nicht die Art von Betrug ist, die ich vermute, obwohl es sich so anfühlt, als ob das nicht etwas wäre, was er normalerweise tun würde. In dieser Geschichte stelle ich mir Dramen vor, die vielleicht nie kommen werden, und obwohl sie keine Beweise dafür sind, habe ich das Gefühl, dass mehr Drama auf Billys Weg zusteuert.

 

 

a little more drama can be good

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Ok.. so, I don't believe Brandon is doing anything with Stevie.. he definitely isn't the cheating type, especially since he was cheated on in his first relationship. Most people who have been cheated on by someone they really loved.. will never cheat on someone they love. Mostly because they know exactly how it feels. And, Brandon is a very smart boy.. he's not going to be tricked into cheating. As far as Robin goes.. I'm hoping he's just trying to make up with Billy. It could be something involving AJ.. so what if it is? Billy isn't going to be stupid and end up doing anything involving that piece of garbage. Great chapter... I'm so glad he and his mom are getting better.

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Firstly...
Why the fuck hasn't he brought up Jamie Cross' party invitation yet? I feel like Billy's going to drag it out until the eventual party date and force Brandon with an ultimatum that may not bode so well for their relationship. 

Secondly...
A lot of people over the last few chapters have badmouthed Billy for his lack of maturity concerning his mother's stance on his relationship with Brandon. But the truth is he's come a long way to get to where he is with Brandon relationship-wise and Billy's mom is completely holding him back. Billy seems to glaze over the fact that how both he and his mother feel about his dad (and his departure), his mom forcing him to play nice with a man he hardly knew (all while she showed blatantly obvious interest in him without even considering how her son feels about the situation), and her forbidding him from spending any intimate time with his boyfriend are all completely separate issues. Sure he could have handled the way he treated the Mr. Franks situation a little better, but his mother is a grown woman. If she needs him for something, she could let him know beforehand and plan around his increasingly hectic schedule. Assuming it's to keep him from being with his boyfriend unsupervised, half of the stuff he's done over the summer didn't even include meeting up with Brandon (and that's outside of the days he had to work) so there isn't any reason for her to force such burdens on him during the time that he's supposed to be stress free and enjoying himself. She wouldn't even let him go to the hospital to see if his suicidal/depressed friend (at the time) hadn't done something stupid like try to kill himself again. And on top of that, she literally called him selfish so many times because he didn't want to waste his summer looking over a complete stranger fixing up her stuff. If she didn't trust him enough to leave him alone in the house while she was away, why let him in your home at all? If he works with you, why does he only ever work on the things that need to be fixed while you're not home? 

I just think that those reading this story and forming these harsh opinions haven't been paying quite as close attention as they think. 

 

Thirdly...
As for Robin, I also see all these remarks about him possibly being a puppet in some harebrained scheme to trick Billy into cheating on his boyfriend thought up by the fuckboy AJ. But I mean, he could very well just want to mend his friendship with Billy, who hadn't been talking to him for quite some time. We don't always have to assume the worst about everyone. But for the sake of exploring all options, even if it turns out to be a seduction attempt, Billy wouldn't fall for it. He literally saw Sam with a boner when he was whining about how horny he was with his frigid Jesus freak of a girlfriend. And he turned him down. His best fucking friend. That, to me, shows more maturity and restraint than I ever would have thought he'd have. I mean, this is Sam we're talking about!!! 

 

And lastly...
Regarding Jimmy, while I see no point in trying to argue with crazy, Billy could have had this whole situation over and done with by talking to him. 

"You keep saying you care about me, and you want to make things right, but you aren't showing me that you're telling the truth. And actions speak louder than words. You need to realize that Brandon and I are happy. We're a united front. All you and I will ever be is friends, I hate to be so blunt about it, but if you want to keep me in your life, that's what you'll have to settle for. Because I can't keep getting calls about broken windows or receiving texts with snapshots of my boyfriend and his ex. I already know what's going on with that whole situation, and that's Brandon and I's business. Not yours. Am I making sense? Is any of this getting through to you?" 

At the very least it will get rid of whatever rose tinted filter is stuck in front of Jimmy's eyes. It may even help to subside some of that rage. If he wants Billy in his life, he should be forced to play by Billy's rules or risk losing his companionship forever. But I'm afraid it may be too late for Billy to try to have that heart to heart. 

 

Edited by ostrobogulous
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