Half-Full - 2. Oblivion

Oblivion
Wish I would go back
I could go back to nothing

Jhené Aiko

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I have absolutely no recollection of the events that transpired after my impromptu mad dash out of the class room. I’d probably hear what happened tomorrow at lunch when I meet up with Grayson and Rudolph. For now, I needed to clear my mind of what I had just seen. I needed my therapist. I needed to vent to someone, yet at the same time I wanted to be alone. I was a mess with dirt all over my clothes, my shirt ripped up a bit and my face was tear-stained. I looked like a runaway bride at that moment, but even my feeble attempt at humour wasn’t enough to make the white elephant I didn’t want to think about disappear.

Miles McKay. That was his name, right? He looked exactly like Alex. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he was Alex’s twin brother. It was too much of a shock for my system as I was only dealing with his loss recently. It seems that life just wants to never see me happy anymore. No matter what I try to do, it seems that it’s either destined to end in shit or with some unwanted twist of events.

I began to gather myself and realise that I am at the park again. What was it about this place that kept bringing me back here? This was the second time I’m here. The section I’m in is not familiar, but I know this is the park somehow. I begin to take note that I have some scars on my body along with dry blood and yet again, more dirt.

“What the fuck did I do after I blacked out?” I pondered as I began to walk in what I thought was the direction home.

By the time I got out of the park, it was dark and cold outside. I was also exhausted and in a lot of pain. Whatever I had done was now taking its toll on my body and I was struggling to get home. Just as I was about to quit and lie there on the side of the road on a cold winter night, a car came to an abrupt stop beside me and what happened thereafter I can’t tell you as I once again blacked out.

“He’s coming to,” a voice said somewhere. I heard a faint beeping noise and a blurry figure appeared above me, followed by more blurry figures. The light in the room was hard to adjust to and it took some time to get my eyes to co-operate, so I can see what who was standing above me at the moment.

“Welcome back to the land of the living,” an unfamiliar voice said. “My name is Doctor Vincent McKay and you’re currently at Fairdale Private Hospital. I’m going to ask a few questions, but please bear with me.”

After the gruelling interrogation into my very hazy memory, the doctor told me I would have to spend the night in the hospital as a safety precaution. I really didn’t care as a wave of exhaustion hit me and I was back in dreamland.

An unknown amount of time passed when I came to again, only this time, there were people in my room when there was nobody earlier. My mom was sleeping uncomfortably in a plastic chair that sat close to my bed while my dad was awake but deep in whatever book he was reading. Mom jolted awake and this made dad lose concentration on his book and focus on the source of disruption. Since mom was right by me, he noticed that I had woken up. Mom, realising that he was looking past her and not at her made her turn her head from him to me. Tears began forming as she looked at me.

“Hey baby boy. How are you feeling?” she asked, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes.

“Better than I was earlier. What happened to me?” I asked, unhappy with the fact that I couldn’t remember anything past me passing out on the side of the road.

“Well, the doctor who is currently in charge of your health, Dr Vincent McKay, found you. Or should I say, his son found you. You were on your way home it seemed when you suddenly collapsed on the side of the road and his son saw it all. Apparently, you had a concussion when they bought you in. Also, his son told him that you had fled school after meeting him and got into a fight with the security guards, which would explain the concussion. He said that you appeared to be in a state of hysteria. What caused all that Arnold?”

I sighed and closed my eyes to process all the information I had just received and thought of how to answer her question. When all my thoughts finally settled, I began to explain what had caused me to go insane.

“It was during the first lesson when I lost my mind. I was sitting and staring out the window as the teacher introduced the new student. Since there was only one available seat in the class, he sat next to me. At first, I ignored him and then I felt that I was being rude, so I turned to introduce myself and that’s when I saw him…”. I drifted off, thinking about how identical he was to Alex. I must’ve been stuck in thought for too long because my mom shook me gently to get my attention.

“… Arnold! Are you okay? You spaced out there…” she asked with concern written all over her face.

“Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking about how identical this guy is to Alex. I swear he’s his doppelganger. The way he spoke, his voice, the twinkle in his eye when he introduces himself to someone was the same as the twinkle Alex had when he introduced himself to me.” I said, now devoid of emotion and feeling really tired all of a sudden. My mom didn’t know how to respond to my statement and just sat there, watching me quietly with concerned eyes.

“He’s right this way,” a voice said that was practically at the door. The door opened and the first person to enter was Dr McKay. Following him was a beautiful, petite lady who looked like his wife and after them was…

“Miles…” I whispered breathlessly, still not used to how he looked exactly like my dead boyfriend.

“Uh, hey Arnold,” he began with a sunny smile. “I’m glad to see you’re doing okay now. I was worried that you were badly hurt when we found you on the side of the road because of how bad your clothes looked.”

I was still at a loss for words, so my mother chose to reply for me. After she finished, she took Miles’s mom out to get some coffee and Dr McKay took my dad to go sign some forms. That left me with Miles and I didn’t have anywhere to run to. As soon as they left, he came and sat in the seat my mom was sitting in.

“Arnold, I have a burning question to ask you. You suddenly took off in class yesterday and that left me confused. Why did you run off? I mean, was I that ugly that I scared you off like that?” he said, trying to inject some humour into this rather serious topic. After a few failed attempts at trying to get words out of my mouth, I sighed heavily and decided to tell him about what triggered my impromptu run.

“Miles, the reason I ran out of class yesterday was because you remind me of someone that was once special to me. His name is Alex and he was my boyfriend. He passed away a few years ago and well, I never really got over his death. Then enters you, his doppelganger. Yes, that’s right, you look exactly like my dead boyfriend. You have his sunny smile, his beautiful, warm eyes, his kind, expressive face, even your body size is similar to his. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you guys were twins.”

Miles was stunned. He hadn’t expected me to say all this, but he did tell me he had encountered a guy that looked at him like he’d seen a ghost roaming the halls, but he ignored it. He said he also got a few odd looks during the day but chalked it up to being the new kid who’d scared away someone on his first day.

“Now all those stares are starting to make sense. People are confused by the fact that I look like your deceased boyfriend and the guy that saw me in the hallway literally saw a ghost. Wow, what a fucked-up day.”

I merely stared at him for a while. I had no words for his statement, so I eventually closed my eyes and lay there in silence. We sat like that until our parents returned and Dr McKay ran some tests on me to determine if I could be released today. He then gave me the green light and said I could go home with my parents so long as I adhered to his rules and took all the medication that was prescribed to me. Before we left, mom invited them over for supper, so they can meet the rest of the family.

The ride home was quiet. We all seemed lost in thought. I was thinking about how Chuck was taking this. I mean, they were cousins after all. I also began to wonder what everyone at school thought about my sudden escape. My thoughts were interrupted by us pulling up to the house. I noticed that Grayson’s car was here and so was Chuck’s. It seemed they were waiting for me to return.

I guess it’s time to go inside and face the music.