Exitus - 6. Part I, chapter 6

- VI -

...“Raven... I hate to say this...”

He felt like he was re-living one of the old, forgotten nightmares. It was not happening; it could not be happening...

“Then don’t!” He realized that he sounded hysterical, and he couldn’t care less. “Don’t say it! Something is wrong with your clock! That has to be it!”

Yes, he realized suddenly. That’s exactly what it was! There was something wrong with the goddamn clock! Renee could not possibly play such a cruel trick on him... She could not possibly hire someone to pretend to be Claudia just so she could get the grand piano... Raven felt nauseous. The blonde knew what he wanted and why, he thought wildly. There was no way for Renee to know that! The clock, that’s what it was; it was the goddamn clock!

He realized that he was standing up; he had no idea when he stood up. He lunged towards the hateful gadget, and someone grabbed his arm. He threw a furiously-wild glance behind his shoulder and saw a very determined Desmond, whose green eyes seemed darker than usual.

“Raven...” the black-haired man started saying, and Raven jerked violently.

“Let go...!” he screamed, panic, fear, and desperation flooding him with nauseatingly-rapid force.

He jerked harder, managing to free himself from Desmond’s grasp. The clock hand trembled, immediately reminding him of trembling air next to that coffee shop, and he almost howled when he saw another minute click forward. This is not happening...

“Son of a bitch!” he screamed wildly, unable to control himself, and then he lunged towards the clock yet again, his movements unrestricted this time.

He thought that he saw pity in Rayhe’s eyes, and that infuriated him even more. The clock, the clock, it’s the clock... If he fixes that, everything will work as it should... It’s the goddamn clock!

He grabbed the hateful, indifferent gadget, his eyes burning with sand of helpless madness.

“You are wrong...!” he hissed without blinking, staring at the clock dial that could not possibly look any more uncaring and lifeless. “You are bloody wrong...!”

He felt as if he had suddenly split in half; he felt as if he were watching himself from the distance. He could see himself staring at the damn clock, his face twisted with helpless, irrational anger at the lifeless object; he saw himself raising both arms above his head, knowing that he was about to smack the clock onto the floor as hard as he possibly could... He saw Desmond closing his eyes in defeat, while Rayhe’s gaze remained blink-free... He saw all of it, and his head started to spin from double perception.

He sobbed something out and almost smashed the softly ticking gadget onto the hardwood floor, granting himself that phantom satisfaction, when all of a sudden, everything around him trembled, making him dizzy, and then he felt completely disoriented. He clutched onto the ticking clock without even realizing it, and squeezed his eyes shut for several seconds, his ears booming with thudding of his own blood.

“Uh...” he said weakly when the nauseating sensations finally ceased to exist. He carefully opened his eyes and lowered his arms.

Then he frowned in almost comical manner when he saw that both of his hands were empty.

“Desmond...” he muttered, and slightly shook his head, daring to glance around, not letting the insane hope to flood him. (“I was right...? The clock was the one to blame...?”) He slowly turned his head and realized that Desmond (or Gabriel, for that matter) was nowhere near him right now. To be precise, he wasn’t even in their house – he was at home.

He let out a sob-like breath and squeezed his hands into tight fists. “It worked,” he thought numbly. “Oh, God... It worked...! Renee didn’t cheat...”

Then he thought of something else, and his eyes became wider than they already were. “Julian!” he thought wildly and stumbled towards the bedroom door, not even noticing that he bumped his knee into the dresser, hard. He had no idea when he was; the only thing he knew, he was somewhere in the past, and Julian was very much alive.

“Julian...” he whispered while yanking the door open and all but tumbling down the stairs after running down the wide hallway.

He made it all the way down, managing not to fall, and then stopped in his tracks, uncertainly glancing around. The blond was nowhere to be seen. Raven slowly turned around, feeling as if he were moving through very thick syrup, and when he realized that he was alone, he let out a shaky breath.

“Julian...” he whispered again, frantically trying to figure out when in God’s name he ended up.

Suddenly, he heard a buzzing sound, and immediately recognized the sound of the garage door. He whirled around, his eyes wide and blink-free, and stared at the door that led to the garage, without moving or even breathing. The door opened, and Raven felt as if someone decided to block every single air-duct in his body.

“I thought you said you were going to take a shower,” the blond said with a small frown, and Raven swayed on his feet.

“Julian...” he whispered weakly, and Salamander blinked at that.

“You okay?” he narrowed his eyes and threw his keys onto the small table in the corner of the room. “I got that ice-cream you craved...” he nodded, and Raven’s head spun even more – now he knew exactly when he ended up.

He forced his body to move, and made several very shaky steps towards the puzzled blond.

“You okay?” Julian repeated and narrowed his eyes even more. “Did you drink some of my gin again...? You know that you can’t handle that stuff...”

“Julian...” Raven whispered again, when he finally got close to the blond. Both of his arms flew up, and his hands locked on the back of Salamander’s neck in a death-grip. “Julian...”

He started placing quick, desperate kisses all over the blond’s face, muttering his name as he went, his heart thumping wildly against his ribs. Julian’s expression became more and more puzzled; he started to respond to those trembling kisses, but then he slightly shook his head, his eyes confused, and pulled away, noting that Raven didn’t release the rigid hold on his neck.

“What happened?” he asked with a small frown.

Raven unlocked one of his hands and slowly ran his shaking fingers down blond’s face, never looking away from the lilac eyes.

“Julian...” he muttered yet again. “Oh, God, I missed you so much...”

Salamander blinked at that statement.

“I have been gone for twenty minutes,” he said slowly, and Raven shook his head.

“You have been gone for too long,” he whispered. “You have no idea how much I missed you...”

“I have an idea,” the blond nodded with the same small frown. “Even though I am clueless about what’s going on right...”

“I love you,” Raven interrupted him in a firm whisper. “I love you,” he repeated several silent minutes later, while Salamander kept staring at him without blinking. “Julian, I...”

“I love you too...” the blond muttered, his eyes locked on Raven’s face.

Raven managed a shaky smile and pulled the other man closer. He smashed his mouth against Julian’s, sinking his fingers in long blond hair. Salamander wrapped both arms around Raven’s trembling body, figuring that he would find out the reason for brunet’s strange behavior later. Raven took several quick steps backwards without letting go of blond’s mouth, and pressed himself into the short mahogany bookcase, sliding his hands down Julian’s chest and starting to work the buttons on his shirt.

“It’s one in the afternoon...” the blond pulled away just a little. “Staff is here...”

“Don’t care,” Raven shook his head. “I want you right here, right now... Kiss me...!”

Julian obliged without arguing, undressing the brunet quickly while Raven’s fingers started fumbling with his belt buckle.

“I’m not gonna last too long...” Raven muttered after he pushed pants down Salamander’s hips, kicking off his own jeans when they slid to his ankles. “I missed you too damn much!”

Julian looked at him for several seconds, a small frown on his forehead; the blond looked as if he was contemplating something. Finally, he let out a small smile.

“I will take my time on the second round,” he said in a low voice. “Lots of time,” he added with a slight nod, and Raven kissed him again.

“Deal,” he agreed breathlessly. “Make me scream...” he let out a small smile of his own.

“That’s the plan,” Julian nodded seriously, and easily lifted the smaller man up, setting him on top of the short bookcase.

Raven immediately wrapped his legs around the blond’s waist, his hands locked on the back of Salamander’s neck. His tongue dove into Julian’s mouth, trying to caress everything at once. Julian’s fingers slid down brunet’s chest, and Raven let out a low, appreciative moan when he felt those fingers clasp onto one of his nipples. Salamander’s other hand smoothly traveled downwards, and Raven’s hips jerked all by themselves when he felt several digits start doing their own thing between his legs.

He scooted closer to the edge of the bookcase, giving those fingers better access, and they took advantage of that immediately. He slowly started rocking his hips, impaling himself on the quick digits, his moans picking up volume, rolling down Julian’s throat, making the blond’s hand to quicken the pace of its thrusts. Raven let out a somewhat muffled “Oh, hell, yes...!” when he felt those insistent fingers brush against his sweet brilliance.

“More...” he moaned into Julian’s mouth, and the blond let out his usual smug smile.

“No,” he said in a low voice, brushing against the same spot as lightly as before.

“More...!” Raven’s voice rang with a shaky demand. “Julian, more...!”

“No,” the blond nipped at the side of his throat. He started caressing that shimmering with sparkly shadows magical button, his touch light and teasing.

Raven let out another moan and thrust his hips forward, hoping for those fingers to slam into him hard. Julian’s hand immediately backed off, lightness of his touch unchanged.

“No cheating,” he murmured against Raven’s neck and nipped on the smooth skin again.

“Damn you...!” Raven moaned and jerked several silky long strands of hair, forcing Salamander to raise his head. He looked into his eyes for a second or two, and then locked his teeth on one of blond’s lips.

Julian groaned at that, and his other hand released Raven’s nipple and slid downwards.

“Oh, hell...” Raven breathed, letting go of that divine lip, when he felt fingertips running very lightly along his sweetly twitching length. “Damn you...” he moaned again, knowing perfectly that the blond was determined to tease him until Raven couldn’t handle it anymore, and probably some time after that.

Julian quickly ran his tongue over Raven’s mouth, both of his hands busy with their light tasks, and Raven moaned something else before latching onto the bleeding lip once again. He started to rock his hips harder, shaking with a desperate need of a lot more stimulation than whatever Julian was giving him. After some minutes that felt like hours to Raven, the brunet detached his face from Julian’s and stared into the lilac eyes without blinking, his entire body screaming, ‘More...! Goddammit, more...!’

“Do you want me to beg?” he asked in a shaky voice, his hips jerking forward. “I’ll beg; just give me more...!”

“You could try,” the blond murmured, his own breathing fast and shallow. “But begging doesn’t always work...”

“Damn you...” Raven whispered without looking away from the face he missed so much.

He cupped Julian’s chin in his palms and planted a deep, trembling kiss on his abused mouth, while his hips were trying to get the desired stimulation.

“I missed you so much...” he whispered without pulling away. “Bloody hell, Julian... I missed you so goddamn much...! Don’t you dare leaving me again, do you understand?”

He started planting kisses all over Salamander’s face and mouth, his hungry body trembling almost violently. Julian blinked in confusion at that last question and returned the kisses.

“Begging doesn’t always work...” he panted. “But this does...!”

He hastily withdrew his hand from between Raven’s legs, and the brunet let out a surprised and grateful groan when Julian entered him in one quick, hard thrust, immediately fulfilling that desperate need. He locked his legs harder around blond’s waist, his hips impaling themselves on Salamander’s body, rocking harder and faster than before, matching Julian’s rhythm to a t. He let out another loud, disbelieving groan when he felt the other man’s hand wrap tightly around him, stroking him just the way he needed.

He started kissing blond’s face again, while muttering his name over and over between the kisses. Suddenly, he saw some movement out of the corner of his eye; he halted the kisses and quickly turned his head to the right. There was nobody there, but he was positive that he wasn’t seeing things. Apparently, someone from the staff just walked in on them and made a hasty retreat. His mouth twitched in a disbelieving smile when all of a sudden, he noticed a shadow shimmering on the floor. Someone was watching them!

“What?” Julian muttered when he noticed Raven’s look, and the brunet nodded at the shadow.

Salamander blinked several times, as if not believing it, and opened his mouth, clearly about to bark something out.

“Let them...!” Raven breathed quickly, and Julian looked at him with a small frown, his hips and hand keeping the same steady, hard tempo. “Let them...” Raven repeated, getting even more turned on from knowing that they were being watched. “Julian, let them...!”

A small frown slowly transformed into a lustful smile, and blond’s hips suddenly picked up more speed. He liked this arrangement as well, Raven realized, while fervently following the new tempo. His throat started to produce a series of loud, growling ‘Ah-ah-ah...!’ sounds while Salamander’s hips and hand hardened their thrusts and strokes immensely.

“I am so close...!” he panted several minutes later without looking away from Julian’s eyes. “Don’t stop...!” he growled when he saw that certain look on the blond’s face – he knew that look too well. “Damn you, Julian, don’t stop...!”

Something flashed in Salamander’s eyes; it was gone too soon for Raven to understand what it was.

“Don’t...” he locked his legs even tighter around Julian’s waist. “Don’t stop...! Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop... Ohh, don’t stop...!”

“Gonna make you come hard...” the blond panted through his clenched teeth. “Gonna make you scream...!”

Those words were the final straw. All those threatening tremors of looming, inevitable orgasm suddenly became one enormous spike, and Raven threw his head back, hitting it on the wall without noticing or caring, when that spike burst into a huge wave that drowned him in vicious pleasure. He screamed out Salamander’s name without even realizing that, and then he felt the blond to start spasming deep inside him, while nipping harshly on the side of his throat.

When he was finally able to unlock his legs around Julian’s waist and see everything in focus again, he glanced to the right. The shadow was gone.

...“So, what happened?” Julian asked a few hours after they relocated into the bedroom, and Raven let out a deep sigh, never letting go of his mate’s hand.

He shifted and turned onto his side, propping his head on his palm. Julian watched him patiently without lifting his head off the pillow. Raven sighed again and entwined their fingers together.

“Julian...” he said slowly without looking away from lilac eyes. “Julian, I...”

He briefly closed his eyes, clutching onto blond’s fingers harder than before. Finally, he opened his eyes and took yet another deep breath. He had no idea if he was supposed to tell Salamander the truth or not, and he didn’t care. He was going to tell him.

“Julian,” he started speaking quietly. “Julian, I watched you die...”

The blond blinked several times, and then frowned, his expression puzzled.

“You had a dream?” he asked slowly, and Raven shook his head.

“That would qualify for a nightmare,” he said. “And no, that wasn’t it... I watched you die,” he said again with a slight nod. “I buried you... I lived in the cemetery next to your grave for three weeks...” He closed his eyes, his throat suddenly tight.

Julian slowly sat up without letting go of Raven’s hand.

“I don’t understand,” he said with the same puzzled frown. “I am reconsidering the gin possibility, just so you know...”

Raven opened his eyes and managed a weak smile.

“I wish,” he muttered. He remained silent for a few minutes. “I went to Claudia,” he said finally, and this time, the blond didn’t even blink – he just stared at him. “She agreed to throw me back in time, so I could prevent this from ever happening...” He frowned slightly. “I know that it sounds wild...” he continued saying, but Julian interrupted him.

“Wild?” he repeated in a low voice. “No, it doesn’t sound wild... It sounds disturbing,” he nodded. “Raven...” he straightened up, his expression wary. “What you are saying is...” He shrugged. “Well, impossible would be one description,” he nodded slowly. “Also...”

Suddenly, there was a shrill ringing of the phone, and the blond rolled his eyes with unhidden irritation. He reached for the vibrating, shrieking gadget, and Raven grabbed his wrist.

“It’s your sister,” he said quickly, and Julian frowned. “She is going to tell you that there was a mix-up at the post office; she is expecting a package, and they just let her know that they sent it to the wrong Salamander. You should receive that package in a couple of days; she is going to ask you to mail it to her,” he finished with a quick nod. “I am not delusional, and I am not drunk...” he added quietly.

Julian blinked and shifted his gaze towards the ringing phone. He picked it up and slowly flipped it open.

“Yes,” he said after he pressed it against his ear. He listened silently for a minute or two, his eyes fixed on Raven’s face, his expression dumbfounded. “I will do that,” he finally said very evenly. “Goodbye...”

He snapped the phone shut and stared at Raven without blinking. The brunet sighed and sat up, bending his legs at the knees.

“So...” Julian said after several minutes of stunned silence. “How am I going to die?”