Blood ties, Love bonds - 1. Blood ties, Love bonds

“Congratulations, Mr. Andrews,” the nurse beamed as she gently placed the bundle in Sean’s arms, “you’ve become the father of a cute little baby-boy!”

The seventeen-year-old father smiled as he carefully took the small baby. The child felt like a ball of joy, which repelled all negative thoughts. All the tensions and problems Sean was thinking about melted away as he cradled his son inside his arms. The baby was so tiny that Sean feared that he might break him. He grinned as he saw the small bead-like closed eyes, these tiny red lips and a miniature mushroom-like pretty nose. He gingerly touched the small clasped fist featuring the tiniest fingers he had ever seen. His skin was pinkish and as soft as wool. Wisps of black hair, which he had inherited from his father, were present on his small head.

It was then that realization struck him. This was his son. His son! Feelings Sean had never experienced before flooded his body. It felt as if a gust of pride went through him, bringing along a huge sense of responsibility. He couldn’t believe that the small baby in his arms was part of him! His blood, his flesh. All his actions and decisions would now have a direct effect on the life of this angel too.

With his son asleep in his arms, Sean entered the room and saw Grace, the mother of his child, lying on the bed. She looked really worn-out. Her pale blonde hair was disheveled and beads of sweat were present on her forehead.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Sean said as he sat down next to her and kissed her on her forehead.

“Better!” she smiled, “he’s cute, isn’t he? He’ll be as handsome as his father when he grows up. And I know that I won't be there but his father will make a good person out of him.”

“Grace...” Sean objected.

“I’m going to France next week, Sean,” she said grimly, “Dad is going to fetch me today. I don’t think I’ll be able to meet you afterward. We both know how difficult it was to convince him to let me have this baby. He thinks that if I stay with him any more, I’ll be attached to him.”

Sean watched as guilt ate at Grace from the inside. They both knew that nothing could be done now. But Sean had tried. He had even offered to marry Grace so that both of them could look after their child. But her father considered the baby to be the fruit of sin and wanted to keep her as far from Sean and the baby as possible.

“Sean, can you do me a favor?” she said with tears in her eyes as Sean nodded, “When he grows up and asks about his mother, tell him that she has passed away!”

-*-*-*-

“Are you fine? Is everything okay?” Oliver panted as I opened the door.

“Yes. Why?” I asked perplexed.

“Duffer! You phone me and all you tell me is to come here as soon as possible. I just ran about a mile like mad! I had thought you were hurt or something,” he said indignantly before I kissed him lightly on his lips to comfort him.

“You won’t believe what I found,” I said excitedly as I took his hand and brought him into my room.

“What?” he asked eagerly, forgetting his former displeasure.

“Well, Dad isn’t here. I was going through his drawer looking for some…” I started enthusiastically.

“Some?”

“Some condoms. You know, for our … night on Friday.” I blushed as he grinned.

We had been dating for more than a year and we decided that we were finally ready to take our relationship to the next level. Before I could say anything, Oliver’s lips were on mine. I could taste very faint strawberry; he just had strawberry ice cream at his parents’ parlor. However, my mind failed to register any more as our hands started roaming around. A shrill and annoying noise disturbed our make-out session — his phone.

“Hello,” Oliver said as he answered, “Yeah Mom, I’m at Kyle’s place. Ok, I’ll be there. Bye.”

“Look what I found!” I said, ignoring his sly smile and avoiding his longing eyes, as I handed him a yellowish piece of paper.

“It’s a letter,” he stated as he opened it.

Hi Sean,

I have heard about Grace’s delivery and I’m glad that everyone’s fine. I have also heard that you’ve decided to keep the baby and raise him, even if alone. I knew you would do that and I’m really proud of you. You never were the one to back off, huh?

I have received your letter, Sean. I knew that this day would come, but I didn’t think it would be so soon. I understand that now that you have your child, this means more responsibility. And you certainly don’t want to take any chances or risks about people discovering our secret relationship. As you said yourself, this may affect your child.

We may not be together now, Sean, but I’ll always remain close to you. Just turn around and you’ll find me by your side, waiting for you to extend your hand. I’ll never forget these three months we spent as boyfriends. You are and will remain my first love.

Take care and be happy

Yours,
Jason.

“Whoa, this dates back to… fifteen years ago! This means that…” Oliver said slowly with wide eyes as he digested the news.

“…that my father had a boyfriend in high school,” I completed excitedly, “a very close one, in fact.”

-*-*-*-

“…and the Prince and the Princess lived happily ever after!” Sean said to his six-year old son as he ended the tale of Snow White.

“Dad,” Kyle said in his small voice, “why don’t I have a Mom? Everyone at school has one. Even Billy has one!”

“You have a mother but when you were just a small baby, God called your Mom up there with him. She was a really nice lady and loved you a lot. But God needed the nicest and most beautiful angel up there and he called her,” Sean said as he kissed him on the forehead, “It’s ok to miss her. But if other guys say that you don’t have a mom, tell them that you have a SuperDad!”

“SuperDad?” Kyle said awed.

“Yeah! I’m a SuperDad and I have super powers!”

“Just like Spiderman?”

“Even better!” Sean said, “I can make a sad person completely happy. I can solve all his problems.”

“So was it you who made Harry laugh after he was hurt?” Kyle said with wide eyes.

“Yeah! Guess who I met yesterday?” Sean grinned.

“Who?”

“Santa Claus!”

“Santa?” Kyle sat on his bed.

“Yeah, he was asking about you. And I told him that Kyle is being a very good boy. Santa has promised to give you the most beautiful gift this Christmas.”

“Youpi!” Kyle gave a shout of joy.

“Yeah, but sshhh! It’s a secret. You mustn’t say this to anyone,” Sean said quietly as Kyle brought his fingers to his mouth to signal to agreement, “Now, if you have any problems, just come to me. I’ll use my superpowers and solve them. Ok? Now go to bed. Good night, honey!”

“Good night Dad!” Kyle said yawning.

-*-*-*-

I walked side by side with Oliver in the huge deserted corridors. It was weird walking in my father’s old school; it felt like walking in Dad’s memories. As I looked around, I could remember Dad’s talks about his high school, which he had shared with me. I glanced at the blue tap, which never worked and where my father had first kissed my mother. I couldn’t help but snigger when I passed near the janitor’s store where two teachers were caught having sex. Earlier, I even saw the huge baobab tree on the ground where Dad used to hang with his friends and perhaps Jason too.

**knock knock**

“Enter,” a deep male voice said from behind the door.

Oliver and I entered the room and saw an old man who was probably in his late fifties. His white hair was immaculately combed and not one hair strayed out of place. I had a hunch that he had classified all his books alphabetically but I never checked.

“Good morning, Sir,” both of us said.

“Good morning!” the old man said gently, “Please take a seat. How may I help you?”

“We were hoping to find some information about a few ex-students,” I said as we each took a seat.

“May I know why?” he said inquisitively as he looked at both of us intently through his glasses.

“Well, this Friday, it’s his father’s birthday party and we wanted to invite some old friends,” Oliver lied, “for a surprise, you know. He really misses his old friends. Sir, you must know losing contact with old friends can be really painful.”

“Ok, I’ll see what I can do,” the principal said after a few minutes of deep thought as he looked at us fixedly, “which year, it is? And what’s your father’s name?”

“Sean Andrews. He graduated in 1992,” I answered rapidly.

Oliver and I looked at each other as the principal foraged through a cupboard next to his desk. I kept my fingers crossed as I hoped to get what I was looking for. Oliver smiled reassuringly at me as he saw the anxiety written on my face.

“Here!” the principal said as he handed me a small file, “It’s all the information we can give you about the students who graduated from the school from 1990 till 1995.”

Oliver and I opened the file and went through the pages. It was mostly pictures with names, awards won and the different clubs. We finally stumbled on the page ‘1992’. The next pages showed the pictures of each class with all students. After a few minutes of deeply searching, we finally found my Dad’s picture. He looked really young. His hair was much curlier, like mine right now, and unlike me, he was quite tall and lanky. My heart skipped as I saw the person sitting one row below- my mom!

I had seen a few pictures of her. But it was bizarre seeing her as a teen surrounded by her classmates. She was really pretty. I smiled as I realized that I had inherited her hazel green eyes as well as her small frame. The smile on her fair face looked so…natural and effortless. Was she already in love with Dad in those days? Did she suspect that Dad could be gay? Did she know that she would pass away when she would give birth to her first child?

Oliver squeezed my hand. I must have been looking quite sad. I hadn’t even realized that he held my hand though I didn’t let go. I smiled at him to let him know that I was okay.

After turning a page, I came face to face with Dad’s face once again. It was the picture of the football team; he was on the football team. I remembered Dad saying how he had scored a goal during the finals even though they had lost the match.

“Hey, look at this,” Oliver whispered excitedly as he pointed to the bottom of the picture.

From left to right: Vincent Grey, Sean Andrews, Jason Summers, Brad Heckman…

My eyes shot to the guy next to Dad. He was Jason! The first word that came to my mind was ‘Hunk!’ Muscles could be seen through his snug shirt. His dirty blond hair was quite shaggy yet looked really appealing on him. And that grin just oozed confidence and charisma.

“Can’t we have more information about these people?” I almost pleaded to the Principal who was looking at us.

“I’m sorry but we can’t tell you more,” he said with an obvious note of finality.

“We would have really liked to know about Jason Summers,” Oliver asked.

“Josh Summers,” the old man said, sounding surprised, “everyone knows him around here. He’s the Head of the office of Summers Attorney. He’s also the President of the Rainbow Trustee for The Children.”

“Can we have his number or address?” I asked breathlessly as I stopped myself from jumping out of joy.

“Here it is.”

-*-*-*-

“Dad, can I tell you something?”

Sean peered over the evening newspaper and saw Kyle standing in front of him, fidgeting nervously.

“Yeah, sit here,” he said as he moved the paper aside and patted the seat next to him.

“Dad, would you still love me if I’m…different?” Kyle asked tentatively as he sat a bit far from his father.

“Of course, honey,” Sean said perplexed at this strange attitude, “Anything wrong? Kyle, you can tell me anything. I will always love you.”

“Dad,” he said as tears clouded his green eyes, “Dad, I’m gay!”

“What?” Sean blurted out and immediately regretted it as Kyle broke into sobs and curled in fetal position, “I’m sorry, Kyle. Look, it’s ok. There’s nothing wrong with being gay. I’ll always love you, honey!”

Sean scooted next to his thirteen-year old son and hugged him. It pained him to see him hurt like that but he knew that being gay wouldn’t be really easy for Kyle. He’d have to be tough.

“You don’t hate me?” Kyle uttered meekly as he wiped his red wet eyes.

“No. You know that I’m very supportive of gays. Why…” Sean asked bewildered.

“It’s just… I was scared! I had heard about parents beating their kids or neglecting them when they learnt about this. I thought that if you knew that your son is gay, you would react differently. I’m sorry, Dad. I never wanted to disappoint you,” Kyle said with his eyes downcast.

“You have never disappointed me,” Sean said without breaking the embrace, “What you just did shows how brave my son is!”

As he looked at the quiet form of his son, he wondered if it was time for his confession too. He had thought about waiting for Kyle to be more mature and older but with the unexpected turn of events, it seemed proper that he came out too. At least, this way, Kyle would be more comfortable with his sexuality around him and would find it easier to talk about his problems.

“Kyle, I’m gay too!” he said calmly though he could feel the quickening pace of his heart and the familiar feeble movement in the pit of his stomach. Apparently, the fear of coming out didn’t change with time or age.

“How…” Kyle said as he broke the embrace and peered at his father inquisitively.

“Yes, I’m gay. You must be thinking how come I’m your father. Right?” Sean said as Kyle nodded his head, “Your mother was a very beautiful person, Kyle, both inside and outside. We were childhood friends and were best friends since I can remember. But I think we got confused between friendship and love. We dated and we were like the perfect couple. A few times, I found myself attracted toward other guys but I convinced myself that only Grace was my love. I dedicated myself completely to her. But slowly, I realized that I’m gay. It was scary but a friend helped me to accept my sexuality. Then, a few weeks later, I learnt that Grace was pregnant with my child. And you came into the world. You were the most amazing thing that ever happened to me, Kyle. That day, when the nurse put you in my arms… so small, so fragile. I never regret meeting your mother. You know why? Because she gave me the most beautiful and precious gift. She gave me you!”

Sean touched his cheeks and noticed that they were wet. And when he saw that Kyle was crying too, he kissed him on his forehead affectionately.

-*-*-*-

“It’s over here,” Oliver said as he pointed to a pale blue two-storey building.

I was really nervous and was apprehensive about what I would meet inside. What if Jason was already with someone else? This was highly possible. It was not like he would be sitting around all these years after breaking up with my father. What if he forgot him? Would he react nicely if he discovered that I was the reason that had separated him from his boyfriend? But as I entered the building, I noticed that he definitely had great taste. Hues of blue covered the walls, which complimented the dark blue color of the comfy sofas. I might not be a great appreciator of art but the huge painting of the blue ocean that hung on the right was definitely a masterpiece.

“Excuse me,” I said to the very young girl who sat at the desk, “where can I meet Mr. Jason Summers?”

“The first floor. Second room, on the right!” she beamed.

“Thanks,” I said as Oliver and I set off to meet Jason.

We were near the door when we heard some raised voices. We both stopped; we didn’t want to meet Jason while he was in the middle of an argument. Oliver was turning around to go downstairs when I grabbed his hand and stopped him. Apparently, over these few last days, I hadn’t been the most polite person- reading my Dad’s personal letter and now, listening to Jason’s conversation. It’s just that I had heard something useful.

“You didn’t phone this one too!” a high-pitched female voice said, “If you keep doing this, no one will date you anymore, Jason! Tell me what was wrong with Eric.”

“Well,” a lower voice said and I had to strain my ears to hear, “he wasn’t my type. You know…”

“Your type?” the other voice laughed, “I’ll tell you what your type is. Tall. Lanky. Black-haired. Blue-eyed. Sean Andrews?”

My heart skipped a beat while Jason muttered something I couldn’t hear.

“I know, honey,” the female voice said gently and I found myself moving automatically near the door, “I know you still miss him. You still look for him in everyone. But dear, fifteen years have passed. You must move on. He must have.”

“He hasn’t!” the male voice said firmly with an apparent tinge of sadness.

“You have been spying on him?” the female voice shrieked.

“No!” the other voice said indignantly, “I just…know. A hunch, you know. I know he’ll never move on. I know him very well.”

At that very moment, Oliver knocked at the door while looking at me pointedly! Apparently, he thought that I had listened sufficiently. I probably had. Shortly, the door opened. A petite woman with red flaming hair opened the door.

“Hello,” she said in the same high-pitched voice, as before, “I’m Jenny. You have an appointment?”

“No…” I stammered, “We have to talk with Mr. Jason Summers.”

“I see,” she grinned as she saw me holding Oliver’s hand, “Come in! I’m going to leave you with Jason, Bye!”

-*-*-*-

“Dad,” Kyle said as he chopped the carrot for the salad, “Oliver and I were walking down Adam’s Street the other day and we saw that sort of dating bureau called Red Roses. There, you just have to give your details and they look for someone who matches your taste in their database. It has become really famous, you know. You remember Cindy, the girl who works at Oliver’s parlor? She just got a boyfriend due to this bureau. They’re pretty happy and have been together for five months. And guess what? The bureau even arranges same-sex dates too. Isn’t it cool? Why don’t you have a look? You know, just…”

“Kyle…” Sean said, knowing where this was going.

“Dad…”

“We already had this conversation, Kyle,” Sean said firmly.

“Yes, we have but I don’t understand why you don’t want to date anyone. Look, I’m gay and having a gay dad who is dating someone doesn’t bother me.”

“I don’t want someone to make your life miserable just because your dad is gay. There might be some homophobes out there who’ll try to take it out on you,” Sean said for what he thought to be the hundredth time.

“But Dad, we’re all very gay-friendly over here! Alan, the mechanic and his boyfriend are out and everyone likes them. Susan said that at high school, they even have a GSA! And the students are very supportive. You can date, Dad! No one’s going to bother us!”

“I don’t want to take any risks with your future!”

“I can be out! Who would care about me having a gay dad when I myself will be gay,” Kyle said as if struck by a brilliant idea.

“NO!” Sean said firmly, “you’re just fifteen! You’re certainly not ready or mature enough to tackle the whole thing by yourself. Being out at fifteen won’t be good. Wait till you’re a bit older. Ok?”

“Ok! But Dad, being fifteen doesn’t mean I’m a kid. I do understand what being an adult is like,” Kyle said more softly as he sat on the chair next to his father, “as well as what a lonely adult feels. I know it mustn’t have been easy for you to look after me for fifteen years, without any real help. And I understand your fears. But Dad, I’m quite big enough to take care of myself now. You must live your life too. How long will you live like this? You must have someone with whom you can share your life.”

“Kyle,” Sean said in the same tone as his son, “I’m fine! Please, now, let's stop this discussion.”

“Ok, if you say so,” Kyle said dejectedly as he rose from his seat, “But I think I’m being very selfish. How can I have a boyfriend when you don’t want to even date someone just because of my happiness? And I hate selfish people. Each time I’m with Oliver, I feel like I should be single too… for you to not have any problems. I feel so self-centered. I can’t remain like this. I’m going to break…break up with Oliver.”

Sean stopped Kyle who was already at the doorway; he was right- Kyle had been crying. And he knew that he would indeed break up if he said so. Sean sighed. He couldn’t let Kyle do this. He was so happy with Oliver; Oliver was a good kid too. He was mature, responsible and always there to straighten Kyle out when he needed to be.

“Ok!” Sean finally said, “I’ll date someone!”

“Really?” Kyle said between his sobs.

“Yes,” his dad said, “but give me some time. I won’t be dating any Tom, Dick or Harry! I want someone who I really like and someone who likes me.”

“Ok!” Kyle grinned as he hugged his father, “I’m sure there’s someone out there.”

-*-*-*-

“Sir, have you decided about the meal?” the young waiter asked politely.

“No, we’re waiting for a third person,” I said before Dad could say something, “can you give us about fifteen minutes, please?” The waiter nodded and went away.

“Dad, I hope you don’t mind that I invited someone, do you?” I asked gingerly as I saw him looking at me.

“No, it’s OK. But I had thought you wanted a private dinner today, something just between the two of us. Anyway, who have you invited? Oliver?” he asked good-naturedly.

“No, not Oliver. It’s a surprise,” I said as I tried to conceal the grin, “Oh, here he comes!”

“Is that…” Dad uttered as he turned and saw who entered the restaurant. It was just like I had thought. Their eyes locked. First, surprise, then disbelief and finally shyness!

Jason came and sat on the empty third chair. He looked really good in a pale blue Armani shirt with black pants. He had not lost the confidence and charm he oozed fifteen years ago. I had told him that he would be meeting my father to talk about my homosexuality. At least I didn’t tell a complete lie.

“Dad, this is Mr. Jason Summers. He’s the President of Rainbow Trustee for The Children,” I feigned innocence, “And Mr. Summers, he’s my Dad, Mr. Sean Andrews. I thought you two might recognize each other. You were classmates. Right?”

Both of them were quite silent though their mouth did open a few times but nothing came out. And they kept throwing furtive looks to each other.

“Thanks for joining us today, Mr. Summers,” I smiled, “I’m glad that you decided to. Your spouse hasn’t joined you?”

“No, I’m not committed yet,” he half-smiled and after hesitation, he added, “Still waiting for my Mr. Perfect to turn around and see me waiting for him.”

“Well, I hope he does,” I said, “He’d be a lucky man. Dad is waiting for his soul mate too. It’s strange, isn’t it? Sometimes, we keep waiting for a soul mate to come from across the seas when in fact he’s sitting next to you. Oliver and I had been like this. We live in the same town but I know that I may comb the whole world but only Oliver will be my soul mate.”

Seconds flew by followed by minutes yet neither of them said anything. I was becoming impatient. Perhaps, it was better for me to get out of their way.

“Oh my God!” I said as I dramatically brought my hand to my forehead, “I completely forgot! Dad, we have a science project due tomorrow! I promised Oliver I’d come tonight. Can I go, Dad? It’s urgent! It’s going to count for the final marks!”

“But…”

“Dad, you want me to maintain my grades, don’t you?” I asked urgently as I rose, “I got to go, Dad! Don’t worry. I’ll crash at Oliver’s. You’ll be free the whole night.”

I stood up and went to Dad to kiss him on his cheeks, like I always did. It was a kind of ritual for us and today I also gave a hug, so that I could whisper in his ears.

“He really loves you,” I pleaded, “He’s single. Please, give it a chance!”

I couldn’t see Dad’s expression but I went and gave Jason a kiss too. He looked really surprised, but pleased too.

“He’s a bit shy,” I whispered as I hugged him, “But he really loves you. Just don’t let this occasion slip away! Please!”

As I opened the door out of the restaurant, I turned and saw Jason talking to Dad. I went out; smiling and hoping that love would indeed fill the lives of these two marvelous men.

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