Deliberate Encounters - 1. Ch. 1 ~ Uncertainty

Richard stared worriedly at the townhouse in front of him before shutting off his car. It had only been a few days since Simon had agreed to give them a chance and his nerves were beyond fried. He was terrified of doing something that might make Simon regret agreeing to date him He wasn’t accustomed to being so on edge and worried about what somebody else thought of him, and he wasn’t sure he particularly cared for the feeling. Richard nervously ran his hand through his hair as he climbed out of the car and made his way to the door. It only took Simon seconds to answer the door, but it was long enough for the fear to beat at him like a battering ram. He was flooded with relief when the door opened to reveal Simon’s smiling face.

“I’m just about ready to go,” Simon told him as he stepped back to allow Richard inside.

“There’s no hurry,” Richard told him and brushed a light kiss over Simon’s lips, half expecting him to pull away. He pulled away first and unconsciously let out a relieved sigh as he moved around to drop onto the couch.

“Are you okay?” Simon asked worriedly as he crouched down in front of him, using the balls of his feet for balance.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Richard answered with a smile. He wasn’t about to let on how relieved he was that Simon hadn’t shut the door in his face.

“If you’re sure,” Simon answered doubtfully. “I’ll only be a few more minutes.”

“Take your time,” Richard answered as he glanced around the room. He had been in Simon’s house three times but had been so focused on Simon that he never really noticed much about where he lived. His gaze landed on the bookshelf against one wall and his desire to know more about Simon prodded him to go investigate. He trailed his fingers along the spines of the books nestled snugly on the shelves and noticed that Simon had a few by the same author.

“What you looking at?” Simon questioned as he walked back into the room.

“Just looking,” Richard answered. “You seem to like this author a lot.”

“I guess you could say that,” Simon answered as he walked over and noticed the author that Richard was talking about.

“You guess?”

“Yeah,” Simon answered as he ran his fingertip over the spines. “It’s not so much that I like that author a lot, but I’m guessing that most authors display their work for that little bit of an ego boost.”

“You wrote these?” Richard asked perplexed. “I didn’t know you were a writer.” Richard was slowly beginning to realize that there were many things that he didn’t know about the man that he wanted to be with.

“I dabble in it a little bit,” Simon played it down. He hadn’t liked the spark of interest in Richard’s gaze when he had revealed that he was the author. He really didn’t want Richard reading what he wrote about.

“Maybe I could read them sometime,” Richard told him. He’d never been a big reader, but wanted to try and involve himself in any aspect of Simon’s life.

“Maybe,” Simon answered noncommittally before taking Richard’s arm and pulling him away from the bookcase. “I guess we really don’t know too much about each other.” Simon was desperate to steer the conversation onto a safer topic.

“We’ll have plenty of time to learn about each other,” Richard answered. He had figured that Simon would offer to loan him the books, but it almost seemed like he didn’t want him to read his work. He made a mental note to check out the local bookstores and see if he could find copies, otherwise he was sure he could find them online. “Though it’s safe to say that you know things about me that I’ve never shared with anyone else,” Richard tried to keep the hint of pain out of his voice at the thought of Simon not wanting to share his work with him.

“Thanks, I think,” Simon answered, a part of him cringing at the reminder of what Richard really was. He was humbled by Richard trusting him that much but it was kind of scary to be the only one who knew the full truth. Despite everything, Simon had to give Richard credit being honest with him before they officially got together.

“Did you have anything in particular that you wanted to go do tonight?” Richard asked as Simon led him out of the house and locked the door behind them.

“Not really,” Simon answered. “The only thing I would object to would be going to the club. I still get the chills even just passing by there.”

“Understandable,” Richard told him as they walked to the car. “Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be there with you, but I can understand your reluctance. I had thought that maybe we could just go bowling. Grab a bite to eat at the alley and just relax and enjoy ourselves.”

“I haven’t been bowling in a while,” Simon told him with a laugh. “I used to be pretty good.”

“I wasn’t so bad myself,” Richard answered with a cocky grin. “Then again, I’ve had a long time to perfect my game.”

“That sounds like a challenge,” Simon told him, relaxing slightly at the way Richard was joking around with him.

“Why don’t we make a friendly wager on the first game?” Richard asked, already knowing what he wanted if he won. He hadn’t slept well apart from Simon and though he knew he might be moving too fast, he couldn’t seem to stop himself.

“Depends on the wager I guess,” Simon answered uncertainly.

“How about, if I win, I get to stay the night and hold you in my arms again,” Richard told him, trying to inject enough humor into his voice that Simon could assume he was kidding if it bothered him.

“What if I win?” Simon asked.

“What would you want?” Richard asked him, casting a sidelong glance at Simon. He had to force himself to turn his attention back to the road.

“Do I have to answer now?” Simon asked, not able to come up with anything other than what Richard wanted.

“Nah, I guess not.” Richard already knew that he’d do anything he could to give Simon whatever it was he wanted. The interior of the car grew quiet as they approached the bowling alley. It wasn’t until they had gotten out of the car and Richard had reached out and took his hand that Simon broke the silence.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Simon asked, gesturing towards their joined hands. He saw the pain and uncertainty in Richard’s eyes and hastened to reassure him. “It’s not that I don’t want to, but not everyone is accepting of two guys together.”

“I’m not worried about it. Let them say what they’re going to say,” Richard answered. He knew he could protect Simon better than most other guys and so had decided that he was going to show him the affection he deserved.

“If you want to get us a lane and grab some shoes, I’ll go get us something to eat,” Simon told him as they walked in the door.

“Sure,” Richard answered as he reached for his wallet. “Let me give you some money.”

“No, it’s cool, I’ve got it,” Simon answered as he realized that Richard planned on paying for everything. “Burgers okay? Or did you want something else?”

“Burgers are good,” Richard answered. “What size shoe do you need?”

“Their shoes are always a bit tight, so probably an eleven and a half.”

“Okay, I’ll meet you at whatever lane they give us. It’s not too crowded in here so I should be easy to find,” Richard told him as he glanced around at the few other couples that were on the lanes. Without thinking, Richard brushed a gentle kiss across Simon’s surprised lips before releasing his hand and heading towards the bowling counter, leaving Simon standing shocked where he’d left him.

Simon forced himself to shake off his shock at Richard kissing him in public and made his way into the café that was attached to the bowling alley. It only took a few minutes to order their burgers and he almost forgot to order Richard’s rare, but in the end he remembered. The waitress who took their order gave him a number and assured him that they’d bring it out to his lane. Simon paid for a couple of beers as well as the bill. Armed with the drinks, he headed back into the bowling alley and easily found Richard just a couple lanes away from where the restaurant and bowling alley joined together.

“Where’s the food?” Richard asked as Simon approached and set the beers down on a table.

“They’ll bring it out to us when it’s done,” Simon answered with a shrug.

Richard suddenly realized he had forgotten to have Simon order his rare but shrugged it off. Simon had made the effort and he’d eat whatever he was brought, even if it was burned black.

“Wasn’t sure what pound ball you used so you’ll have to find your own,” Richard told him.

“No worries, I always need to check the fit of my fingers anyways,” Simon told him before walking away. He came back a minute or two later and set his chosen ball on the ball return. He sat and quickly replaced his own shoes with the ones from the bowling alley while Richard set up the score board. It took a couple of frames before Simon really got the feel for the game, but even then he pulled his throws slightly, letting Richard take the lead. When their burgers arrived Simon gave the waitress a generous tip before turning to find Richard standing next to them.

“You’re up,” Richard told him, his lips just inches from Simon’s ear.

“That one is yours,” Simon said as he pointed towards the burger that wasn’t really even cooked. The outside looked flame-kissed, but that was about it. He left Richard with his burger as he went and bowled his frame.

“I can’t believe you remembered,” Richard told him as he approached after his turn.

“Remembered what?” Simon asked as he took a bite of his own burger.

“That I like my meat rare.”

“When I care about something I do my best to remember the little details,” Simon answered quietly, but not so quietly that Richard didn’t hear him.

“I guess it’s just not something I’m used to,” Richard told him. “It’s been a while since anybody really cared about what I would want.” Richard struggled to keep the emotion from creeping into his voice, but failed miserably.

The pain and sadness Simon could hear in Richard’s voice pulled at him and he moved until he was standing directly in front of Richard, their bodies barely touching. He didn’t think about the fact that they were out in public as he reached up and brushed his hand over the curve of Richard’s cheeks and lingered on his lips. Richard met his gaze and tenderly kissed the tips of his fingers before Simon pulled away, his cheeks stained a light pink and his breath becoming a bit shallower. The wealth of promises in Richard’s gaze made Simon wish that they were home, away from prying eyes. He knew it was probably a good thing they weren’t, until he was a hundred percent sure that he could accept everything about Richard. With that thought in his mind Simon went back to finishing his burger as Richard wiped his fingers and went to take his turn at bowling, a satisfied grin on his lips.

It didn’t take long for them to finish the burgers and beers. When they were on the last frame, Simon pulled his throw a little more than he had the previous ones. Richard ended up winning by a scant four pins and Simon could see the joy in his eyes.

“Guess that means you’re staying the night with me,” Simon told him, trying to fight back his smirk.

“Guess I am,” Richard answered in anticipation. He knew that Simon wasn’t ready for anything really sexual to happen between them, but he was looking forward to falling asleep next to Simon.

The next two games went fairly quickly, Simon trouncing Richard in both games by a good forty points. He couldn’t help but laugh when he saw the look of confusion on Richard’s face when the last game was over.

“You could have easily beaten me that first game!” Richard accused.

“Probably,” Simon answered with a grin.

“So why didn’t you?” Richard asked, his confusion showing in his eyes.

“What would have been the point?” Simon asked. “What you wanted was the same thing I wanted, so I figured I might as well let you win,” Simon told him as they went towards the bowling counter to turn in their shoes.

“You could have just told me,” Richard told him as they were walking back to the car.

“Yeah, I could have,” Simon agreed, “but it wouldn’t have been nearly as fun.”

Richard shook his head as he stopped and pulled Simon to him. He saw the slight uncertainty in Simon’s eyes and reminded himself that he needed to go slow. He settled for holding Simon close and just barely brushing his lips over Simon’s before moving the rest the way to the car. Once they were both settled in, Richard started the car and headed back to Simon’s for another night of holding his mate in his arms.