A Night with no Stars - 17. Devil's Triangle

When Maks kissed Ewelina, he felt as if he was eating rubber.

Not that he'd ever eaten rubber, but he could bet it would be the exact same feeling, as if he was chewing on something flavorless and with a consistency of rubber. It was uncomprehending how the mere fact that someone else – better? – showed up made a person he spent half of his life with almost repulsive. And it wasn't that Ewelina herself was repulsive, no, she was as pretty and smooth as always. But Aleks was prettier and smoother and more... everything, and that constant comparison at the back of his mind made Maks almost unable to look at her. It wasn't her fault though, it was a fault of this damn situation. It was his fault.

It wasn't even about the sex. Sure, he'd been trying to avoid having sex with her, because fooling his body into believing that he should be aroused required a lot of mind tricks and he suspected Aleks wouldn't appreciate being used for that. Besides, it was simply exhausting and he didn't have any desire to have sex with her anyway. She'd managed to sneak up on him once and he was so taken by surprise he just went with the flow out of habit, and then thought it would look suspicious if he just called a halt right in the middle. So he resigned himself to it and then when Aleks asked what he had been doing that day, he just blurted it all out. There was more pity than anger in Aleks's eyes, maybe with just a touch of disappointment. As if he needed his disappointment on top of everything else. It's not like he was having the time of his life fucking her. He knew though that Aleks was never going to let him live this down. That's what he got for fucking other people.

So no, it wasn't about the sex. Anticipating when she was going to want to and coincidentally always having a headache wasn't all that hard. It was about kissing. Maks knew it probably made him awfully old-fashioned, but he considered kissing much more intimate and meaningful than anything else. Sex was just sex, people did it for fun whenever they felt like it. Kissing was different, it was like a promise, that's why kissing Ewelina was becoming a nightmare, because it had no significance. And he felt guilty as hell, both because of her, because she didn't know that their kisses didn't mean anything to him anymore, and because of Aleks, because Aleks knew in theory that Maks hadn't dumped her yet, but he had a feeling that if he actually saw it, he would probably tear them to shreds. Him or her, one of them. That's why Maks was trying to keep them as separate as possible, but now his damn birthday party was coming and they were both gonna be there and he was starting to freak out. Well, he'd got himself in this dead end on his own.

If they... if they at least hadn't had that stupid fight this morning. Then he would at least know that he had Aleks on his side, and now he felt as if he was gonna be thrown to the wolves that were Ewelina, his friends and mad Aleks. He didn't knew if they were going to exchange significant looks when nobody was watching and secretly rolling their eyes to each other. He felt so alone in all of this.

And what's worse, Ewelina had to invade his apartment with Robert and Klaudia in tow to prepare for the party that had stopped being a surprise the moment Klaudia put a foot in her mouth not only in the presence of the rest of conspirators, but also birthday boy's, who had to pretend to be pleasantly surprised, even though he already knew about it from Aleks. He kept a straight face, thanking Ewelina effusively multiple times for the effort she put into the whole thing. Lately he was being overly nice to her, partly because of the guilt, but partly because he just didn't know how to act towards her. So he was trying to be nice, but felt it turned out artificial, because being nice was never his default mode. She didn't seem to suspect anything though, she probably thought that her cheating was responsible for the change in his behavior. He was ashamed to admit that it was pretty convenient.

Whatever preparing for the party included, Maks let them in so they could do just that. Robert went straight to the kitchen and picked up the lid from the pan, then deflated and sent him a dirty look.

“You haven't left us anything to eat?” he asked, visibly heartbroken.

Maks raised his eyebrows. “I didn't even know you were going to be here,” he protested defensively.

“But...” Robert faltered, looking for something that would make his case. “But there's always food here, cause you always cook more than you can eat,” he groused, then narrowed his eyes at Ewelina. “Did you steal my food?”

She rolled her eyes. “Don't look at me, I wasn't here either,” she said, raising her hands innocently before starting to wash the dishes. “Don't you know? Aleks stole both your food and your best friend. Deal with it.”

He snorted.

“He was here last night, wasn't he?” she asked, glancing at Maks to make sure.

“Of course he was,” Maks muttered, shrugging. He was also here this morning.

“Forgotten and hungry, that's me in a nutshell,” Robert sighed dramatically, shaking his head. “This is so unfair.”

“Aw, you're making him dinners already?” Klaudia exclaimed. “Should we expect a happy announcement anytime soon?”

Ewelina snickered.

Maks stilled for a split second, wondering what reaction would be least suspicious. Actually... if he played this right, it might even make things easier. He relaxed. “Well, we haven't known each other all that long yet. Usually I wait until the third date with these things,” he quipped casually.

“Things like proposals?” Ewelina snorted. “You're getting better, it took you eight years with me.”

“Yeah, you restored my confidence,” he deadpanned.

“Ok, I'll decide with Aleks tonight how we're gonna share you,” she said, laughing and winking at him, because in her eyes they were still on shaky ground and she wanted to make sure that he knew she was kidding.

“Sure, you do that,” he replied good-naturedly. If you want him to bite your head off, he added in his mind. She was so laid-back about it, because she didn't think Aleks was any competition. Aleks on the other hand wouldn't find it amusing, because he knew perfectly well that she was competition. Even though she wasn't. Not anymore anyway.

Klaudia was giggling like crazy and Robert was grinning. Look at you, Maks, so progressive. You can joke about it just as any other guy who's secure about his sexuality. Only it wasn't like that anymore and suddenly he understood perfectly why it was mostly closet cases that had a problem with their potential homosexuality. You can joke all you want and not give a shit about people saying that something you're doing is gay, because you know it's bullshit. But when it's not bullshit, then they're suddenly right and it's much harder to shrug them off when they are right.

Yeah, sharing the news with the world still seemed like an ordeal. He couldn't exactly picture people knowing, but he also felt he'd got in so deep... as if it was the ever-lurking threat over his head, because how long it was possible to keep it a secret? For a while, maybe, but not forever. And that was enough, the mere thought that the day would come when it would get out. Until recently it hadn't been all that real, he couldn't touch it. It was something that had existed in his head and no one could get in there. But now... now it was a part of his life. And that part was gonna grow until it was so big it would just spill out. It was inevitable.

It actually crossed his mind a few times that he could still back out, but... no, losing Aleks was not something he was able to even consider. This freak had hit him with a delay, because he'd spent the last two weeks in a state of constant daze and was only now snapping back. Well, he was still dazed, he was permanently dazed by him, because Aleks was the only thing worth getting into this mess. These last two weeks made it worth facing the mess he'd made. He felt like a fool that he'd spent so many years not even knowing that such a life existed somewhere. And he only regretted that they couldn't live in a world where it wouldn't even be a dilemma in the first place, or in a world where he would be less of a coward. Because in theory they could do it. They could live on their own terms, all they'd have to do was to stand up to the world with their heads held high. But Maks wasn't very good at it. He always had to overthink everything, always had too many doubts and too many 'what ifs'. So far he heard the mere word 'gay' and felt himself being judged, which wasn't exactly optimistic.

Aleks didn't push him, but Maks saw he was... annoyed, sure, but that wasn't the point. His annoyance came from insecurity and Maks knew that as long as he kept the pretense of his old life, Aleks's wouldn't feel secure, because he knew that Maks could still back out any moment if he decided it wasn't worth his while after all. Maks wouldn't, but Aleks apparently didn't know that. Or he did, but was still irrationally afraid of it. And it was a vicious circle, because Aleks still kept him at arm's length at times, as if he was afraid to get too attached, and Maks wanted him to stop, but couldn't muster up the strength to do anything that would dispel his doubts. So once more it was a constant pull and push without knowing where the other exactly stood.

Something had to give at some point and he knew breaking up with Ewelina should be right at the top of the agenda, because it wouldn't be all that life-changing, but at the same time it would be enough to put away Aleks's fears. He would know that Maks was with him, maybe in secret, but only with him. But he didn't... he didn't know how to fucking do this. What was he suppose to tell her? He couldn't tell her that there was someone else, she would start to sniff and guess, and would figure out it was Aleks and when Ewelina found out, the rest of the world would find out as well. And he didn't want that, at least not now. He didn't know when he would get used to the thought, maybe in a month or in two years or never. Maybe when he got used to Aleks some more, to his presence, because so far they'd been sleeping together for two weeks and Maks didn't even know how to label what they were doing. Which was quite ridiculous, because he felt as if he already treated a potential future with him after two weeks way more seriously than he'd ever treated a potential future with her.

Back to her. He wanted to break up with her, because... what? Because she hurt him? Bullshit, he forgave her already, she'd never believe that he suddenly changed his mind. Because they've drifted apart? Ok, that sounded reasonable, but wasn't it pretty common for the honeymoon stage to be long gone after eight years? Maks was a creature of comfort and she knew that, he wouldn't give himself a headache of a break up without a good enough reason. The only reason that sounded convincing to him was the real one. And she would come to the same conclusion, that there had to be someone else. And would discover that this someone was Aleks. And...

Fucking hell. He knew he was stalling. He'd promised to do it after his birthday, because she was trying so hard to make that party perfect that it would be almost cruel. But after his birthday was fast approaching and the closer it got, the more he doubted that he would bring himself to do it.

And let's say that he succeeded and dumped her, and she let herself be dumped and removed herself. Then what? They still wouldn't tell anyone and not only because Maks was a coward, he knew Aleks had his own reasons not to announce it. From Aleks's side anyone who was supposed to know, already knew, so nothing would really change. They would still be together in secret, only Maks could wake up next to him with clear conscience. And Aleks would be more sure that it wasn't some spur-of-the-moment whim to him. But he could also just tell him that, just bite the bullet and utter these few embarrassing sentences as he'd already done once before, and the effect would be the same.

Was he really considering not breaking up with her? Was he crazy? Sure, he was a liar, but he wouldn't be able to pull this off in a long run. He wasn't going to pretend that he wasn't the kind of guy who liked to cut corners, he was. But in this case the easy way out was getting rid of her as quickly as possible instead of letting her plan the wedding that was never going to happen. Sooner or later he had to let her know that he had no intention of marrying her. Let's not wait with it till the wedding day.

People started to gather around seven. Maks was a bit startled, because even though the surprise didn't work, Ewelina had still kept most of the details from him. It turned out she'd done pretty well with the guest list, she didn't invite many people, but most of his friends from college that he still kept in touch with were here, as well as a few of their common friends from high school and some of her acquaintances that he didn't hate. He hadn't seen most of these people since he'd been back, so it was kind of nice. It was a relief that he didn't really have to do anything, Ewelina took over the hostess role and he just had to be moderately outgoing. He was trying, even though he wasn't able to fully relax. He started to get really nervous around nine, so he went to the balcony to make a call. He frowned when Aleks didn't answer. What could he be doing that was taking him the entire day? He must have known that Maks would be worried. Was he not answering on purpose after their fight or was he actually unable to answer because... he didn't even want to consider that.

Those moments always overshadowed all his doubts, because Ewelina and the rest of the world wouldn't matter at all if something had happened to Aleks. This whole thing was about him after all and at the end of the day Maks would survive everything, coming outs and judging and dumping his fiancée and his father's anger, as long as he had Aleks with him. But he wouldn't if someone shot him in a dark alley and all his other problems were a piece of cake in comparison.

Fuck, where was he... he had such a bad feeling, but it didn't necessarily mean anything, because he always had a bad feeling. Only it had never taken so long before and by now he was really on edge. The worst thing was that he had no idea what Aleks was actually doing, which made his imagination run wild and send him the most terrifying visions. What if someone was firing at him? Logically he knew that not many shootings happened in this town, but who knew, maybe one was happening right now. He wasn't even able to think about it. Nothing could happen today, it was his birthday after all and there must have been someone up there making sure that life was at least remotely fair. So no, not now, not when after years of wandering around the same city and never crossing paths, they'd finally found each other. Maks didn't believe in fate, but he also didn't believe that it could be all for naught.

God, if he was going to live his life in such a constant stress, he might as well shoot himself right now. If that was how it was always gonna be – assuming that Aleks would always keep doing what he does – assuming that they'll always be together – assuming that... Yeah, that was a lot of assumptions. It was better not to assume anything. To many assumptions made his head hurt or maybe he was just drunk already.

He turned to Klaudia to answer her question distractedly, from the corner of his eye following Ewelina who had just gone to the door.

And she had the audacity to throw herself at him. Maks couldn't see anything but his arm and hand grabbing a knob. He watched absently as she let him go and started to chatter cheerfully, irritated that he couldn't throw himself at him. She could, but he couldn't and he didn't even knew if he would , but he would like to have an option. Aleks said something, smiling and glancing into the living room, obviously looking for him. Their eyes met and Maks had some sort of delayed reaction, because only now he started to feel a shy relief that he was fine. He wasn't sure if in that particular moment he was more in love with him or mad at him for giving him reasons to worry. Since he met Aleks those both feeling were balancing each other, he was as much in love as mad. He doubted that was going to change.

Klaudia followed his eyes curiously. “Is that Aleks?” she asked, sizing him up.

Maks knew she liked what she saw, because there was nothing not to like. Aleks always dressed well, but every once in a while he made himself look like a million bucks and this was one of those times. Little shit, of course he would have made a grand entrance. Maks usually looked sloppy, he'd never bothered too much with his appearance. It was Ewelina who always made sure he didn't look like a bum. If he was going to replace her with Aleks, he doubted his appearance was going to suffer. Though Aleks never seemed to care what he was wearing. Not that he cared about Aleks's clothes either. To him Aleks looked best in the mornings, wandering around his kitchen with his hair disheveled, only in boxer briefs and Maks's oversized t-shirt.

He shook his head, trying to stop thinking about his clothes and focus on the fact that he was in one piece. He nodded to Klaudia before heading towards his girlfriend and his... Aleks.

Apparently she followed him. “Hi, I'm Klaudia,” she introduced herself, reaching out a hand that Aleks shook before turning to Maks and raising a bottle of Jameson.

“That's for you, at a certain age there's nothing more left,” he jibed, winking secretly.

Maks grinned. “Why are you always trying to make me drunk?” he wondered out loud.

“Why do you think?” Aleks shot back with a smirk.

“I'll open it!” Klaudia shouted, yanking the bottle out of Maks's hands.

“It's a good whiskey, don't put...” Aleks started, but she was already out of earshot. “...coke into it. Too late,” he shrugged.

“This is Robert,” Ewelina introduced, grabbing Robert who was just getting past them. “And this is your replacement.”

“Oh! It's good to meet the competition,” Robert said in a friendly manner in spite of his words. “Just so we're clear, you have no chance, I've known him longer.”

“Yeah, well, I know him more in-depth,” Aleks deadpanned, raising his eyebrows.

Maks started coughing.

“You can't come between this bromance,” Ewelina informed Robert in resignation. “Even I don't come between this bromance.”

Yeah, you have no idea how wrong you are, Maks thought. “Sure, fight for me,” he said out loud smugly.

Aleks sized him up skeptically, suggesting that there was nothing worth breaking a sweat over.

“Anyway, I know you,” Robert said suddenly, looking at Aleks. “I've been to your concert. I mean you were a support. Back in the fall I think,” he knitted his eyebrows to remember. “It was pretty cool. I ordered your demo later.”

Aleks stared at him, as if he needed a moment to wrap his head around what he was saying. “Seriously?” he blurted finally, then his eyes lit up. “So you were the one!” he called triumphantly.

Robert laughed. “You've sold one demo?” he asked disbelievingly.

“Maybe four of them,” Aleks admitted with reluctant amusement.

“But you were good!” Robert protested. “I've been even checking your fanpage once in a while to see if you were doing something, but you seemed to drop off the face of the earth. What's up with that?”

“Em... other stuff came up,” he explained awkwardly. “But maybe things will get moving a bit now.”

“When?” Robert inquired.

“In the summer?” Aleks said, not sounding very convinced. He was going to continue when the front door opened again.

“Sorry it took so long,” Wiki said to him, raising her phone apologetically, then got inside and looked at Maks. “Happy birthday, big bro!” she called, hugging him quickly before pointing to the bag full of beer she held in her other hand. “I'll put it in the fridge.” She squeezed through them.

Ewelina smiled to Maks. “Why don't you make Aleks a drink?” she suggested before raising on her toes and kissing him shortly by surprise. Maks closed his eyes out of habit, then opened them and his gaze fixed right on him. He had a poker face firmly in place, he didn't even move a muscle, but he also didn't avert his eyes, he was just standing there and staring at them. Maks couldn't stand the sight of him, so he closed his eyes again quickly.

Ewelina pulled away, grinned briefly at Aleks and went to the kitchen.

Maks took a hesitant step forward. “Hey,” he whispered, as if even that innocent greeting could be eavesdropped and misinterpreted.

Aleks forced a smile. “Hey,” he replied as quietly.

Maks didn't know what to say, so he said, “Did Ewelina invite Wiki?” Because that was a bit strange. He didn't think she considered his sister a friend. He hadn't considered her a friend up until very recently.

“I don't think so,” Aleks shrugged. “I've dragged her along, she's my mental support.”

Maks frowned. “Why do you need mental support?” he asked in confusion, but Aleks just raised his eyebrow, passed him without a word and went to mingle. Maks stood there for a moment longer, staring at the people filling his living room. Was it possible that Aleks was... nervous about this party? For some reason he'd been convinced that Aleks was never nervous about anything, because from what he understood, he was dealing with people nobody would want to run into in a dark alley on a daily basis, so how could he be nervous about Maks's birthday ? But on the other hand... maybe he was kind of anxious that he wouldn't know anyone and just wanted to have a familiar face? And someone more his age?

He sighed, rejoining the party. It felt weird that Aleks was here, but he had to treat him as he would anyone else. They didn't spend much time together, Aleks was mostly stuck on the balcony with Robert, talking and smoking, and Maks couldn't get rid of Ewelina and Klaudia for even a moment. These were no conditions for them to talk. Aleks was here as an acquaintance, not even as a friend and definitely not as his Aleks. Maybe that was for the best, because Maks really wouldn't know how to act towards him and if he could even keep the pretense up. They didn't even exchange looks much, apart for one time when Ewelina kissed him again. A moment later he caught Aleks's gaze. He just pressed his lips tightly together and turned his head. Maks felt as if after that he started to look at him even less .

He was trying to have fun, even though that wasn't easy knowing that Aleks was upset with him, and he was getting drunk pretty fast. He hadn't started to slur yet, but he was a bit groggy. He got up, reeling a bit, apologized to the girls and went to the hallway to check if he had any cash on him, because they were slowly running out of booze. He was standing by the hanger when a hand appeared around the half-opened bathroom door, grabbed his elbow and pulled him inside.

He didn't resist when Aleks pushed him on the washing machine, locked the door behind them, then turned around and pressed himself against Maks's body, stretching his neck to kiss him messily.

Fuck, risky, Maks thought, but only let out a silly laugh and let the autopilot take over. He was drunk on alcohol, sure, but he was always a bit drunk on Aleks when in his presence. His hands went to his hair on their own accord. It was such a good remedy to the rest of the world, all of a sudden it faded to nothing and all that mattered was Aleks surrounding him. He was only aware of his warm, soft lips on his and the hard edge of the washing machine digging into the back of his thighs. He felt a bitter taste of liquor on Aleks's tongue and knew he probably tasted the same, but he was hungry and impatient and really didn't care about such trivialities as unpleasant taste. He wanted to feel more of him, he wanted all of these people behind the thin wall gone, he wanted there to be only the two of them in the world for real, not just in his head.

Just when he thought it, Aleks pulled away to take a deep, shaky breath, then dropped his head and rested his forehead against his, looking up with a slight smirk. “I just wanted to remind you,” he whispered innocently.

Maks felt his own lips stretching. “As if I could ever forget,” he muttered in reply, leaning back in, nuzzling his cheek and kissing the bridge of his nose carelessly. He stayed still for a moment, just breathing him in to soothe his drunk senses.

“We should go back,” Aleks said eventually, intending to move away.

Maks stopped him, grabbing his neck and pulling him back in. “Wait,” he asked quietly. “Are you mad at me?”

Aleks was staring straight into his eyes for a long moment. He was so close that Maks could see every imperfection and blemish on his face. That thin, barely visible scar that went from his left eyebrow through his temple, the dark circles under his eyes and a tiny amount of stubble, which indicated that he hasn't shaved for quite a while, and those two beauty marks on his right cheek Maks loved so much.

Aleks kept staring, stalling, so Maks stared too, thinking he was... he wasn't sure if he was objectively beautiful, though he probably was, but Maks definitely thought of him as beautiful. He didn't know when it had started, when he used this word in his head for the first time, but by now the mere sight of his face stirred so many feelings in him that it got him instantly enraptured. And sure, Aleks was handsome and cute, and maybe he wasn't a classic beauty, but there was something captivating in his face that made most people at least notice him. But when Maks saw him for the first time he wasn't en raptured . He definitely didn't think he was beautiful and sure, he didn't consider men beautiful at all back then, but still. Aleks's face had just been one of many faces. He had looked ok and that was all, but now... now Maks could barely take his eyes off him and the longer he stared, the more he came to the conclusion that this face had everything he could possibly want and need in life.

“Not mad enough not to make out with you in the bathroom, so I'd say we're good,” Aleks said at least, intertwining his hands on his neck. “Are you?” he asked cautiously.

“No,” Maks assured him quickly. Even if he has been before, now he couldn't even remember why. “It's just... in case you're mad...”

“I'm not mad,” Aleks repeated in amusement. “There are things... I don't like... but I'm not mad,” he added, picking his words carefully.

“Things like what?” Maks asked, even though he knew the answer to that already.

Aleks raised his eyebrows. “For instance that it's been two weeks and we are still playing both sides.”

“We?” Maks picked up, feeling a twist in his guts. “Wincent...?” he started, not really sure what he was asking, but suddenly remembering his words from this morning that they weren't exclusive. Maks thought he just wanted to stick it to him, but what if he just said it because that's how it was? In theory he knew he couldn't expect something he wasn't willing to give himself, but the mere thought of anyone but him touching Aleks was unbearable.

Aleks blinked, realizing what he just indicated. “Oh, no, I... I haven't been with him since we... you know,” Aleks stammered, looking embarrassed.

Maks exhaled slowly, feeling the knot in his stomach loosing up a bit. “But... you didn't tell him you two are over?”

Aleks scoffed. “Why should I? It's not like we were even together.”

“Weren't you?” Maks asked tentatively.

“No, we were just fucking,” Aleks said bluntly.

Maks wasn't convinced. Sure, he got the difference, but the line was so thin that leaving it unsaid could lead to many misunderstandings. After all he and Aleks hadn't specifically discussed being together either. Not in so many words. “Are we just fucking?” he asked, suddenly anxious.

Aleks face softened. “No, Maks, we're not just fucking,” he said explicitly.

Maks relaxed slightly, but still wanted things to be absolutely clear, so he went on, “I want us to be together,” he said so there were no doubts about it. “And I want us to be exclusive. I don't want to be with anyone but you. And I don't want you to be with anyone else either. So eventually, when I...”

“Ok, screw it,” Aleks suddenly cut him off, rubbing his face. “Yeah, I'm not fucking anyone else and I have no intention to. You can consider us exclusive on my part. And I'll... wait for you or whatever. Ok? I'm in,” he caved.

Maks felt a smile on his face growing and couldn't help stealing one more kiss that turned into a second one and a third one, and soon they were making out lazily. He knew that it was time to rejoin the real would, even if that was the last thing he wanted. “Come to the store with me,” he breathed out of the blue next to his mouth.

Aleks pulled away slightly to look at him quizzically.

“We're out of booze. I have to go buy more,” Maks explained innocently.

Aleks's lips stretched. “Is it far?” he asked, raising his eyebrows meaningfully.

Maks's smile widened even more. “Very ,” he emphasized.

Aleks laughed quietly. Every moment they could spend away from other people should be appreciated, even if it was just on the way to the store. He turned around and was going to leave the bathroom, but caught his reflection through the corner of his eye. “Damn, you've ruined my hair,” he muttered, walking to the mirror instead.

Maks blinked. “How is this mess any different than your usual mess?” he asked in confusion, but still stood behind him dutifully and started to ruffle the hair on the back of his head.

Aleks's reflection glared at him. “It's got flat,” he complained before shooting him an accusing glare. “Instead of giving me sex hair, you're making my hair flat.”

“Your hair always looks as if you've just been having sex,” Maks protested calmly. “It's just its way of keeping things balanced.”

Aleks spent a moment analyzing what he just said, then grinned, taking it as a compliment. “Thank you,” he said cutely, then decided he looked good enough. He headed back to the door, but turned again with his hand on the knob. “And you... do something about your face,” he instructed seriously.

Maks involuntary raised his hand to his cheek. “What's wrong with my face?” he asked in confusion.

“You're all smiley and bubbly. People will get worried,” Aleks teased.

Maks's eyes narrowed playfully, but he still couldn't control his expression, because after Aleks cracked, his grin was so radiant and enthralling. He leaned in, promising himself that it was going to be the last kiss. Aleks pushed him away flippantly, unlocked the door and turned the doorknob.

“Oh la la, what were you doing in there?” Robert asked in a gushy tone.

Maks and Aleks didn't even look at each other.

“Drugs,” Aleks answered without second thought.

“Conspiring,” said Maks simultaneously.

“Fucking,” Aleks added blankly.

Robert's eyes bulged. “All of it in five minutes?” he laughed loudly. “Respect,” he said, nodding and raising his hand. Maks high fived him obediently, smiling secretly to himself. It was amazing how easy it was to deceive people by telling them the truth you knew they wouldn't believe anyway. It might be his favorite strategy.

“We're going to buy more booze,” he informed him, putting on his shoes.

“Awesome!” Robert called, raising his arms, before charging into the living room, staggering a bit. “Hey, people, the party's not over yet! Maks's going to buy booze!”

Maks shook his head before letting Aleks through first and following him down the stairs. It wasn't until he stretched his legs some more that he realized how drunk he really was.

Aleks was holding himself better, because he had a late start. He turned around and laughed. “Are you going to even get there?”

Maks stopped him before he went outside. “Shh,” he hushed him, leaning on him to support himself. He put his hand clumsily on his face. “We don't have much time.”

Aleks raised his eyebrows, intrigued. “Yeah? How you wanna use it?” he asked in amusement.

“Let's make out in the rain,” Maks decided without second thought, apparently considering it a perfectly reasonable idea. “I wanna kiss you in the rain again.”

Aleks blinked. “But it's not raining,” he observed, humoring him.

“So what?” Maks snorted, completely undeterred. “Maybe it will start before we get back. Or we can wait. What's the hurry?” he asked rhetorically in a challenging tone.

Aleks cracked up. “I'm not gonna stick around waiting for rain,” he said firmly before wrapping his arms around Maks securely. “I'm too sober for that,” he muttered under his breath. “Come on, you big sap,” he ordered, dragging Maks with him outside. “Let's go to the store.”

Maks put his arm over his shoulders and let himself be led, laughing every once in a while. After all, it was a rare opportunity when they could be all cuddled up in public and have it look completely innocent. It was the middle of the night, no one around and nothing kept him from nuzzling Aleks's hair and groping his ass under his jacket. Somehow they managed to get to the store and even come back.

Much to his chagrin, it didn't start raining, so he let Aleks drag him back upstairs, where they were greeted enthusiastically by poor guests bereft of alcohol. Things started to get a bit fuzzy after that. They were definitely dancing. He and Klaudia were dancing and they weren't very good at it. Aleks mostly made fun of them. After that Ewelina seemed to pass out, but Wiki reappeared after a short nap. There weren't many people left, only a few survivors and the last thing Maks remembered was Aleks leaning over the railing on the balcony, smoking against the sunrise. Maks could barely see anything at that point, but he thought the view was so beautiful – of Aleks or sunrise or both – that he had to take a picture, so he went inside to find his phone, but he must have fallen asleep somewhere on the way, because after that everything was a blur.

He woke up with a splitting headache. He squeezed his eyes, which didn't help his dizziness and tried to swallow, but his throat was as dry as a bone. He bravely decided to get up and find some water, so he opened his eyes with effort. Ok, the bright side was that he was in his bedroom. He turned his head slightly and on his right he saw Ewelina, she was sleeping only in her bra and the same jeans she had worn to the party, and her face was almost fully covered by her hair. He turned his head to the left and there was Aleks, he was fast asleep, facing Maks with his lips slightly open and his shirt rumpled. Someone smelled like a brewery. Probably all three of them. Maks fixed his eyes on the ceiling, because the combination of the killer hangover and that oppressive feeling of being trapped between them was giving him a small panic attack.

Because could there even be a better illustration to his life? He didn't think so. This picture said it all .