Dating Rules And Pretty Fools - 14. Gentle Darkness

Chapter Fourteen – Gentle Darkness

Hudson woke up with a start and groaned as he worked a kink in his neck. Otis was not far off in telling him that that sofa was very impractical, as far as sleeping was concerned. It wasn’t like him to check out like that, but he had been bone-tired after the night with the police raid at Twinlight, and, without realizing, he had slept well into the afternoon.

Watkins, in his amazing generosity, had recommended the day off for both him and Jackie, and that meant that he could take the time to rest. At least some good had come out of his undercover work so far; he had sent Jasper away, so one person got saved. Better than no one, but still so many more to go.

Hudson traipsed to the kitchen, rolling one shoulder and craning his neck left and right. He should have thought of getting a place with better furnishings for his mission. But if he had done that, he would have never met Otis; bad sofa and all, it had been the best choice he had made in a long time.

He couldn’t keep in a grin at the sight of the small slow cooker sitting on the counter. As he fixed his coffee, his mind traced back to all the times he’d had a man in his life more than just for a few weeks. Was it him that made all those relationships fail? He liked to believe that he could be considerate enough. Hmm, maybe he was fooling himself into thinking too nice things of his own person. His work had come first so many times. No, not so many times, but always. No one cared to stay in the life of someone who had other priorities, one hundred percent of the time. Funny how, while growing up, he wouldn’t have pegged himself as a candidate for becoming a workaholic. Seeing your best friend die could change a man’s goals, it seemed.

He hadn’t thought of Pete in a long time. Pete had been the closest he’d had as a family, one he cared about at least. They hadn’t been lovers. There had been moments, sure, but maybe that was just his overactive imagination driven by a teenager’s raging hormones and nothing else. A hand lent here and there, but every time, a thing between bros and no more than that. Hudson smiled and shook his head. Pete had been one hell of a guy, larger than life, ideas running through his hot head at a million miles per second, not all of them good, obviously. He had never cared about anyone else in his life more, although he wouldn’t fall down the memory lane to feel sorry for himself. One thing was certain: he hadn’t been in love with Pete, although he had loved him more than all the people he’d ever known.

And after he’d died, his choice had been made. Hudson left his cup on the counter and took another look at his new slow cooker. He had become a detective because he needed to do everything in his power and beyond to save as many people as he could. No matter what the captain was saying.

He patted the kitchen appliance on its lid on his way out as if it were a person. The bitter fix he’d just ingested would kick in soon. And he had some research to run on Angel. With Jasper and other guys, he had lucked out so far, but he never gave up. Like a dog with a bone, as the captain often said about him. He actually liked that comparison, because not giving up was part of him.

***

Tonight had to be perfect if he wanted to convince Hudson to sleep over. Otis pondered for a moment and then opened the windows again. Grandma always said that it was vital to let the sun and air in or otherwise any house would get sick. He liked it how she treated inanimate objects as if they had souls. That was why he loved his glass miniature collection. She had started him on it, but he had quickly become fond of them. They could be his; they didn’t bother anyone, with them being so tiny and all.

One of the hardest things for him to do had been to take in possession things after having nothing for so long. Grandma wasn’t rich, but she always found ways to give him little gifts, and not only on his birthday. A few times, he had caught her wiping away tears from her eyes, but she always said that it was nothing, and he didn’t make her cry.

She had been so good to him, and after so much bad he’d had in his life, he hadn’t known at first what to do with all that kindness. After the fire, he had been in a strange state for several weeks, one with a medical name that sounded very close to the name of a place. Catatonia. Grandma had explained it to him, years later, what it all meant. He himself had encountered much difficulty in telling the doctors what was wrong with him, but the general consensus had been that he had experienced an overwhelming fear, one that paralyzed him for all those weeks on end.

Could someone be afraid of being afraid? It was the reason why grandma always cared about explaining everything to him in minute details, asking him questions along the way so that she could be sure he understood. For a good portion of his life, he had worried about falling into the same state again, out of the blue. That was it; he only worried – he couldn’t be afraid because he didn’t recall his thoughts or feelings from being like that. If he thought about it enough, it resembled a long sleep without dreams.

He observed the room with a critical eye. The sheets were freshly laundered, all the surfaces wiped clean of any traces of dust, and not one thing appeared to be out of place. That left him with one thing left to check. Taking one deep breath, he opened the small bag and extracted the shorts he had just bought for the occasion. Missy had been so sure that he would look good in such things, and when he had searched the store for the kind of underwear he never bought for himself, just seeing those had convinced him that he had to have them.

Now, doubt was creeping in. What if he looked silly? He undressed and put the black shorts on, taking his time to tie the strings on the sides. Was he supposed to make little bows or just leave them to dangle downward like that? Bows had to be; they were prettier.

No matter how embarrassing, he had to take a look or else he might end up not wearing them at all, and then, the shorts would be nothing but money wasted. Otis knew very well that he wasn’t rich enough to spend money on underwear he’d never put on. That was the ultimate argument, and he proceeded toward the hallway, where the large mirror was still in the same place. Hudson had said something about helping him out with it. Between showing him his new shorts and inviting him to sleep over in a bed that was better than that cramped sofa, maybe he’d find the time to remind his neighbor, as politely as possible, about his promise.

He looked and blushed at his own sight. The word sexy hadn’t been put there on the package for nothing. The shorts did make him feel that, and it was a strange feeling. Although he was the one looking at his own reflection in the mirror, he felt as if someone else was looking at him. He brushed one hand across his chest and over his belly, stopping right above where the shorts started. It was odd and different, but he didn’t dislike it. That was the first step when trying something new. Even if it was a little scary, just pushing through could work wonders sometimes.

He would have to ask Hudson for his honest opinion on these shorts. That was another thing he had learned – that, when in doubt, asking for what other people thought was the correct way to find the truth.

***

It had been a long day and a fruitless one on top of everything. Hudson groaned and pushed his hands against his eyes, rubbing them for a good half a minute. A detective’s job could be such a downer at times; there were times when, no matter how much work you put into it, the answer remained out of reach.

He’d had no better luck finding Angel’s real identity. A better way was to snoop around at the club and find out the guy’s personal details, the ones with which he must have been hired at Twinlight. The chances were high, seeing the shady kind of business Watkins ran there, that Angel had an identity as carefully fabricated as Hudson.

Or maybe he was reading too much into things, and Angel was, like many other pretty boys his age, in this business to turn a quick buck based on his looks alone. He looked old enough not to be underage, but there was something so unpleasant about him, as if what lurked under the surface matched in intensity his outward beauty.

Could it be that he just disliked the guy profoundly? That was always a possibility, and Hudson forced his mind into taking a distance. What he knew of Angel so far was that he didn’t mind playing into the sick games his masters ordered, and that he liked making bad jokes.

Bad dark jokes.

Hudson shook his head. Whatever was going through Angel’s mind, he wouldn’t figure out by sitting on his ass and going through the records he had access to. As always, the best detective work was done out in the field. He’d have to get chummy enough with the guy, to see where that would take him.

It was getting late and he needed to grab a bite. Could he ask his pretty neighbor over to cook him a homemade dinner? As thorough as Otis was, he would probably scold him for not saying anything sooner. After all, that was a slow cooker, and that meant that it couldn’t make food fast.

Hudson chuckled and shook his head. It was so easy being around Otis and get into his shoes. His mind was simple, but that didn’t make him stupid. He was odd, but endearing. And, above all, he was cute and eager, and just thinking that was enough for Hudson to feel his jeans getting a bit too tight. Well, he could use a distraction. All he had to do was see if his pretty neighbor wanted to go out and have a bite.

That reminded him. Otis worked at a restaurant. And Jackie was going there to pester the guy with his lecherous intents. Hudson had to grimace at that; his thoughts and intents regarding his cute neighbor weren’t pure either. The chances were, at that hour, Otis had already had dinner and didn’t care about going out. As much as he wanted to, Hudson decided against visiting the restaurant where his neighbor worked. It was chilling enough that Jackie knew Otis; any more colliding of those two worlds, and he’d start to have a mind to whisk Otis away from all the danger.

An incoming message interrupted his train of thought.

“Wanna stop by?” he read slowly. It was from Otis, which made him smile, but the tone of the message, while comprised of nothing but three words, didn’t sound like his quirky neighbor at all. He was politeness incarnate, and Hudson could bet that he wouldn’t be caught dead using such informal manners.

That made him slightly wary and, after another second, increasingly wary. He thought for a moment and, without a moment of hesitation, he opened his camera case.

***

He had been right. It was cold in the hallway, and Otis trembled not as much because of the feel of the cool air on his bare skin, but because he worried that some other neighbor might wander in and see him standing there, wearing that impossibly small piece of fabric that barely covered his nether parts. Hudson hadn’t replied yet, but he was too impatient to wait inside.

So, he was in front of his own door, wearing sexy skimpy shorts, a guarantee – according to Missy – for ensuring that Hudson would want to spend the night in his bed.

The door on 505 opened abruptly, and Hudson stepped out. He did it so quickly that Otis started and then remained glued in place, unable to move. There was something in how Hudson moved, a tension that made him feel odd. As if it were a tsunami coming, and they had to run, no time for questions.

“Otis, what in the world are you wearing?”

He took a step back. That was bad. Everything he could read on Hudson’s face was surprise mixed with something he couldn’t define, but it wasn’t good either. And the idiom ‘what in the world’, as he had learned it from the dictionary, was often used to express disgust.

It took only a moment for his stomach to get the message that he’d made a horrible choice by wearing those ugly shorts. They weren’t ugly, but he was. He rushed into his apartment, away from the shame, but when he tried to close it, he couldn’t. Hudson was strong enough to push him back and soon, they were both inside.

What he had wanted, but now didn’t want anymore.

Hudson hugged him shortly and then pushed him away, as he began to inspect the place. “Did you send that message just earlier?”

“Yes,” Otis squealed. His voice was no longer working properly. “That was me.” He had no idea what to do with his hands, and Hudson blocked the way so he couldn’t grab some clothes to put on, either. The hallway was so small that he couldn’t avert his eyes from his own reflection in the mirror. How could he even think that he looked desirable? The only way he looked was ludicrous, bizarre, even disgusting. He wished he didn’t know so many words.

Hudson sighed and ran a hand over his face, as soon as his inspection was over. He looked sideways at Otis and grinned. “Did I scare you?”

That development was unfamiliar to him. What had just happened? Hudson no longer seemed surprised or disgusted. He was even smiling, and he had one of those beautiful smiles that Otis wanted to see every day only so that he could get into a good mood.

The only thing he could do was shake his head and look down.

“And what’s with the sexy getup? Are you trying to seduce me or something?”

Otis raised his eyes. That was stupefying. Dumbfounding. It was even blowing his mind. How could Hudson get from looking surprised in a bad way to being surprised in a good way? Otis didn’t change himself. He was still wearing those stupid shorts. He should have taken Missy with him and chosen something sensible.

His silence made Hudson move, and soon he was engulfed in those strong tattooed arms and made to feel safe again. Gradually, he relaxed into the embrace and let his hands move down Hudson’s back, until they reached something hard and cold sticking out the other’s jeans.

Otis jumped one step back. “What’s that?” he asked. “Behind your back?” He gestured wildly with one arm.

Hudson frowned and reached behind him. Otis was even more startled when he saw what it was.

“This is my gun,” Hudson said and held it at a neutral angle.

“Guns are dangerous.” Otis eyed with growing discomfort the heavy object, so dark and scary just by being there.

“Of course they are. That’s why only qualified people should use them.”

Otis pondered over his next question. Hudson didn’t strike him as dangerous, but he wasn’t knowledgeable enough about the world to know for sure. “Are you qualified?”

Hudson nodded but offered no other information. So, people who took photographs of men in muzzles and leashes needed guns? Grandma would have a few things to say about the state the world was in today.

He followed Hudson as he put back the gun in the back of his jeans. “I got the text from you. It didn’t sound like you. So I got a little… confused.”

The confession dumbfounded Otis even more. “Can you get confused?” Hudson didn’t look at all like someone who would get confused.

“Once in a while. Sorry about scaring you, too. I’ll go back to my place.”

“Wait.” Otis didn’t want to have this opportunity slip through his fingers. He worried about the gun, but he trusted Hudson. “I asked you here because I want you to sleep with me.”

Hudson turned on his heel so fast that he almost lost his balance. Otis steadied him by grabbing his arm with both hands.

“I see. That’s why you were in the hallway buck-naked.”

“I’m not buck-naked,” Otis protested. “I bought these today, because they were important for the plan to work.”

“And what plan is that?”

“To get you in my bed.”

Hudson doubled over, and Otis worried for a bit, until he understood that his neighbor was just laughing. That wasn’t at all the effect he had been aiming for.

“Come here,” Hudson said and kissed his forehead. Then, he rubbed Otis’s head with his fist, messing up his hair. “Is that plan still standing?”

“Yes,” Otis replied, although he still felt jaded over how his efforts in seduction – apparently, that was his play here, although he was very bad at it.

“Then let me just go to my place and put the gun back. I don’t want you to worry about its being here, at your place.”

“Don’t go back. As long as you’re qualified to use it, I don’t mind it.”

“Are you sure? I live two steps away from you.”

“The distance between my door and yours is longer than two steps. Unless they are giant steps. Don’t leave.” He was saying the same thing over and over, but he still felt shaken about it all to let Hudson out of his sight. What if he changed his mind and didn’t return? Then Otis would have just wasted good money on a pair of useless underwear.

***

Maybe being in detective mode all the time wasn’t healthy. That was his major flaw and, probably, why few people truly understood him. What he needed to do right now was put Otis at ease, after scaring him earlier by going through his apartment for signs of intruders. In hindsight, it would have been ridiculous of anyone wanting to hurt him or his neighbor to send Otis out in a pair of sexy shorts as the welcoming committee.

He was lucky Otis’s mind worked in different ways than others’ because there were no follow-up questions about the gun. Hudson was happy to take that as it was.

Otis acted primly as he invited him to sit on the bed. That made for a funny contrast with the way he was dressed, or better said, undressed. Hudson lay on his back and put his hands behind his head; only then, he realized that the gun was poking him in the back. He straightened up and searched around for a place to put it. If Otis hadn’t been so adamant about not letting him leave, he would have put that out of sight already.

“Here.” Otis hurried by his side and opened the nightstand by the bed.

Hudson placed it inside, noticing the notebooks stacked neatly on top of each other. His gun looked incongruous next to them. That made sense. A man like him and someone like Otis shouldn’t be so close. He dealt with dangerous people, had a dangerous job, and carried a dangerous thing such as a gun. While his prim and proper neighbor was someone who would be much better in the company of a guy with a safe job and safe hobbies.

Otis sat gingerly on the bed by his side and looked at him. “How do you find it?”

“What?” Hudson asked. “It’s definitely something.” He let his eyes wander down Otis’s slender body. His skin was so beautiful, he felt a small pain inside his chest just taking him in. So different from the world Hudson lived in. As for the skimpy underwear he was wearing, Hudson felt a twitch in his fingers to reach out for that little bow and pull at it to make the damn thing come undone.

“I know, right?” Otis said enthusiastically and bounced up and down the bed. “I told you it was better than your sofa. Perfect for a sleepover.”

Hudson blinked once, frowned for a bit, and then laughed. “You want me here so that I can sleep in your bed?”

“Yes,” Otis replied, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to present yourself in sexy shorts and tell a guy that you wanted him in your bed.

That sort of innocence deserved all the protection in the world. Hudson moved closer until he reached Otis and caressed his bare shoulder slowly. “You are so good, Otis.”

That declaration earned him a sideway glance that conveyed little besides confusion. “Good how?”

“Like this,” Hudson said and tipped his chin gently so that they could angle their heads for a kiss.

A small sigh came with the parting of soft lips, and it sent a breeze through him that raised goose bumps in its wake. When had it been the last time to feel like this for a man? Maybe it had happened in the beginning, when all sex was new, and every experience was a first.

He brought Otis closer until he had him between his legs. His hands traveled down the smooth back resting above the underwear. “You are so beautiful,” he said and kissed him harder.

Otis was inviting him to take over, to become someone better. Was it the right thing to choose? Maybe not now, but in the long run, Hudson knew it in his gut, the same one that never lied, that it would be good for him, it would be so good that even his priorities might change.

Through slow coaxing, he had him on his back, legs spread, and Hudson liked it how well he fit between those slender limbs. He caressed the smooth skin everywhere, deepening each kiss and drinking from it like his entire life hanged on it. His right hand cupped a knee and then traveled down the well-defined calf. Even his ankles were so delicate, yet strong; no wonder the first thing Hudson had thought of Otis was that his neighbor should be a runway model in hiding. Everything about him was proportioned just right, on the light side, but beautiful in a diaphanous way that inspired the onlooker, making him feel things never felt before.

And all that beauty lay in his hands, at his mercy, showing no desire to push him back. Hudson stopped a slow growl growing in his chest right in time. He was offered ownership, he had known it since Otis had demanded, in that innocent way of his, to be collared. And he was more than willing to take it. No, that wasn’t even half-right. An imperious feeling pushed him to accept it.

He let his hands roam over the beautiful body under him, over the chest and nipples, the lean abdomen muscles rising and falling with each deep breath. But, before he ended up doing something to scare Otis off or create room for too much misunderstanding between them, he needed to ask.

“Why did you put these on?” he asked and fingered the little bow of string that had enticed him just earlier.

“To make sure you’d want to sleep in my bed,” Otis replied. His breathing hitched a little, and his chest continued to rise and fall, while his pretty lips remained parted and alluring.

“So, let me understand this,” Hudson said and propped himself on one elbow, still holding a possessive leg over Otis, but taking just enough distance so that he could endure this self-inflicting torture. “You really worry that I’m sleeping on that sofa.”

Otis nodded eagerly. In his earlier ministrations, Hudson had pushed his hair out of his hidden eye, so now he could admire the young man in all his beauty. “You could really hurt your spine if you sleep badly.”

The kind of answer he’d expect from his eccentric neighbor. Hudson sighed and pressed his forehead against Otis’s for a brief moment. “All right. Then I suppose that I should grant you your wish of helping me. I will sleep here tonight.”

Otis’s face lit up. “I’ve never had a sleepover,” he confessed, “but others made a big deal out of it. So I’ve always wanted to know how it would be.”

Another bit of a foggy past revealed to him. Hudson willed his investigative mind to take a break. Needling Otis for answers about everything that had happened in his life shouldn’t be high on his list. It was there, because he couldn’t help it, and he wanted to learn about this pretty man’s life, but it couldn’t be now.

First things first, he needed to put even more distance between them – only a few inches more – so that he could clear his head. “I came in a rush,” he said. “I actually wanted to take you out for a bite.”

Otis made a very disappointed face. “All right.”

Hudson grinned. “Well, you can always make me a sandwich.” That reminded him of that day when Otis had stared at him so sternly and made him feel a bit of a douchebag. “I promise that, this time, my thanks will be genuine and heartfelt.”

***

That was pretty exciting, Otis thought as he rushed to the small kitchenette and fired up his sandwich maker. It pleased him so much to do things for Hudson, and the only downside was that it was starting to feel a little breezy wearing nothing but those skimpy shorts. However, Hudson had been quite adamant about not letting him put anything else on and even smiled in a way that made Otis’s insides do somersaults. That wasn’t really possible, and he was quite certain that all his organs were in their rightful places, but the expression was funny and he could imagine little people doing all sorts of gymnastics inside his stomach and entertaining themselves while at it. He preferred that to thinking that he had butterflies in his stomach; he wasn’t terribly fond of that expression. It made him believe that those butterflies were caged in there, and that was bad.

His hands trembled as a memory came uninvited. Alone, in the dark, the door locked. Shouting for help, shouting for anyone, that never worked. The more he dared to do that, the more time he’d be left there, alone in the dark.

It had taken him many years to stop sleeping with the lights on every night. It wasn’t good if you didn’t get a proper rest, and if you didn’t spend enough time with your eyes closed and sleeping without any source of light present. Humans were like animals and had their circadian rhythms. They needed the dark to sleep, and blue light, in particular, could interrupt the production of melatonin, making people sleep badly. As he thought about that, the trembling in his hands subdued.

He took the plate with the sandwiches to take it to Hudson. It was a bit ridiculous to serve a customer while being dressed like that, and also funny. His body was shaking with laughter when he handed his guest the plate along with a paper napkin.

“What’s so funny?” Hudson took a bite out of his sandwich and eyed him with a glint in his eyes.

“This,” Otis said and pointed at himself. “If I were to start serving customers while dressed like this, everybody would laugh. It would be really funny.”

“Hmm, your customers’ reaction might be different than what you think.”

Otis pondered for a bit. “Yes, you’re right. They might get mad and think that the restaurant management lacks decency.”

Hudson shook his head and smiled. “This particular customer doesn’t think either.”

“What does he think?” Otis asked, willing to take part in this game of talking about one of them in the third person.

“He thinks he’s a damn lucky guy,” Hudson replied and took another bite.

Otis felt his skin getting hot again, like earlier, when Hudson had kissed him and run his hands all over him. “Okay,” he whispered, “okay.”

***

They were lying on the bed, their hands so close he only had to lift his pinky and he would touch Hudson. “I should turn off the light,” he said and moved only to do that.

Soon, they were engulfed in darkness. Otis knew he wasn’t afraid. There was someone in the same room, breathing and warm. And then, he felt a pull at the string keeping his shorts together on the side facing Hudson. “What?” he stammered, not even knowing what he wanted to ask.

“Tell me you want to sleep right now, and I’ll let you be, Otis. I will stop.”

No. “No, don’t stop.” He took a deep breath as he felt Hudson’s calloused fingers pushing away the fabric and inching slowly along his hip.

This darkness was different. It was deep and silent, so silent that he could hear his own breath and Hudson’s, but it was gentle, too.

TBC

I have no idea how I did it, but I managed not to post the new chapter, so good thing I checked! So, here it is, Otis's attempt at work