A Night with no Stars - 24. Dope Show

It wasn't like in the movies, that everything went still for a second that felt like years. Quite the opposite, there was no pause and even though his mum looked a bit dazed, she blinked and smiled only slightly forcibly.

"Nice to meet you, Aleks," she said diplomatically. A well-bred lady would never lose her cool. She turned to glance at Maks, but her eyes focused somewhere near his forehead, not straight on his. "So what are you planning now, boys?" she asked casually.

Maks gaped, not knowing how to behave. Just go with the flow and feign ignorance?

"Em-I don't know," he stammered, running his hand through his hair awkwardly. "We should get going—"

"Oh?" she faked a gasp. "Well I won't take more of your time then," she decided, completely forgetting that he was supposed to 'tell her everything'.

For a moment she looked lost, she opened her mouth to say something else, but then hesitated and eventually she took a step forward and craned her neck to brush his cheek with her lips. "We will talk later, yes?" she made sure, before moving her eyes to his left. "Aleks," was her parting word and Maks wasn't sure if there was actually mirth in her voice or if it was just his wishful thinking.

He suspected she'd been in such a hurry to disappear into the crowd before her polite mask had fallen off, but he really wanted to know what had been hidden beneath it. Had she been mad? Had she been disgusted? No, she wasn't that kind of person, she'd probably just been flustered and confused. But he couldn't be sure and it was killing him.

When he gave Aleks a shy glance, he was already looking at him stonily and suddenly Maks, who would have been rolling in money by now if he got paid for lying, felt sick of pretending.

"What was that?" Aleks enquired with fake curiosity, crossing his arms. Maks moved his gaze wildly from the floor to him and to the ceiling and back to him, where it finally came to a stop, because his eyes were full of apprehension and confusion, and started to breathe more easily, because there was still something real in the world. At least Aleks' eyes were sincere and somehow it made all the tension evaporate abruptly from his body, leaving only feelings of impotence and vulnerability.

He rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Fuck," he cursed under his breath.

Aleks looked disturbed. "Does she have psychic powers?" he asked, unable to work out what had actually happened. "I didn't say a thing—"

"You said your name," Maks muttered in resignation.

Aleks blinked bemusedly. "My name," he echoed flatly. "And?"

"And I might have mentioned to her the name of the new love of my life, for whom I left the old love of my life," he confessed, cringing and forcing some sarcasm into his voice to not sound like a complete wimp.

Aleks blinked again, unable to decide at first whether he should focus on Maks coming out to his mum or calling him the love of his life. Number two, but still. Both these tidbits were equally earth-shattering.

He chose the first one. "You told your mum about me?" he asked quietly, looking at him as if he'd never seen him before.

"I told her your name," Maks emphasized apologetically, biting his bottom lip. "She might have assumed that it's a girl's name. And I might not have set her straight."

Aleks gaped at him, processing that and feeling all his hopes and dreams tumble down. "You're fucking with me," he blurted before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "So what you're telling me is that up until now your mother was under the impression that I'm a woman and you let her think that?"

There was something intimidating in his tone. Maks gulped. "Look—"

"No, this is just—" Aleks clenched his jaw, raising his voice just slightly.

"Can we not talk about it here?" Maks ground through his teeth before grasping his arm and scanning the crowd nervously.

"Sure we can," Aleks blared nonchalantly. "Maybe if we're inconspicuous enough all of these people won't realize that I'm not a woman either," he sneered.

"Come on," Maks hissed, rolling his eyes and starting to drag him through the mass of people. Aleks yanked his arm out, affronted, before straightening his sleeve and flauntingly heading out. By the time Maks followed him he was already getting into the car, slamming the door angrily. It must have been bad if he was taking it out on Audi. He sat next to him without a word, painfully aware of his harsh, snappy movements when he was starting the engine.

"Fuck," he blurted again, not able to deal with the silence. The whole situation was slowly starting to sink in. It was out there, there was nothing to be done about it now except for damage control.

"What?" Aleks grunted, getting off the parking lot.

"I need to talk to her. What if she tells my dad?" Maks fretted, feeling panic slowly filling him.

Aleks shot him an unimpressed glance. "Yeah, what then?" he muttered dismissively.

"What do you mean, what?" Maks asked, aghast. "He might—"

"Maks, if you're going to talk such nonsense you better just shut up," he cut him off, miffed, speeding up and passing one car after another.

Maks was so surprised he didn't even react at first. "What is your problem?" he asked warily.

Aleks shrugged. "You act like it's the end of the world. So what that your mum found out? And so what if even your dad finds out?" he challenged. "What are they gonna do, what's the worst that can happen? They might give you a silent treatment for a while, but then they'll get over it, because you're their beloved only son. That's what's gonna happen," he scoffed.

Maks eyes narrowed. "Good to know it's for you to decide who should worry about what," Maks remarked sourly. "I don't see you running to your own mother to tell her about us."

"I would love to, if anything I say could actually reach her brain," Aleks shot back sharply. Maks opened his mouth, but couldn't think of an appropriate comeback in time. "Those are real tragedies," he added snidely under his breath.

"Well it's not my fault that you're all alone in the world, but I have parents that I'd actually like to be on good terms with," he growled before he managed to bite his tongue.

Aleks pinched his lips. "Thanks, Maks," he mumbled, picking up even more speed.

Maks rubbed his face, wanting to take those words back. He looked at him carefully, but his eyes were fixed on the road and his teeth so gritted he could almost hear them grinding.

He felt he should say something. "Slow down," he asked quietly when the next car flashed by the window. He watched in the rearview mirror as it shrank rapidly. "You're upset. Slow down," he repeated calmly.

"The fuck are you telling me to slow down for, you know I won't," Aleks snapped in fury. He only kept two fingers on the steering wheel and was going to add something probably even more vicious when his eyes left Maks for a split second. He glanced into the mirror, grasped the wheel with both hands and turned it sharply left. Audi leaped away just in time to avoid by a hair the white Ford Focus that had just pulled out from the cross street and right into his lane. "Moron," he cursed.

"I told you you're going to get us killed," Maks mentioned after calming his racing heart.

"It was his fault!" Aleks exclaimed. "It wasn't his right of way!"

"You were going too fast!" Maks argued just as loudly. "The world is full of morons. Sure, the fault would be his, but at this speed we'd end up a stain on the asphalt. Sounds like a real victory," he jeered.

"I fled, didn't I?" Aleks grumbled sullenly, just in case changing lanes again.

Maks slumped. "Why are we even arguing about this?" he sighed.

"Just for kicks," he muttered, pointedly slowing down to seventy kilometers per hour and looking straight ahead with a stubborn expression. Maks wasn't sure if it was the general of feeling foreboding, Aleks being antsy before the concert, him freaking out about his parents or both of them getting way too worked up about it all, but by the time they got home he wanted to smash something and Aleks' head seemed perfect for that purpose. He glanced at the glove box and it crossed his mind that he already had a gun at hand. He closed his eyes and shook his head. How could he have just this morning melt at the mere sight of this little motherfucker and now he'd have loved nothing more than pushing him out of the car?

"Ok, go talk to your mum if you must," Aleks said perfunctorily after parking by their building. "I've got a concert to play."

Maks didn't move, he spent a moment just breathing, trying to get his head straight. He didn't want to say something shitty again and he couldn't imagine separating now, without reconciling.

"Can you explain to me why you're so mad?" he asked placidly. "You didn't think I was going to be happy when my mother finds out—"

"I'm not asking you to be happy, I just..." Aleks broke off, not sure how to express his thoughts. "Is it always going to be like this? That we're going to hide?" he asked in resignation.

"Yeah, because you just go around and broadcast it to everyone," Maks growled, feeling himself losing his temper again.

Aleks bristled. "There is a big difference between me being discreet for our own safety and you keeping me a dirty little secret because you're ashamed," he hissed vehemently.

"I'm ashamed?" Maks echoed incredulously. "I've told people about us, I've told Ewelina—"

Aleks barked a bitter laugh. "Ewelina doesn't count, it was a simple decency, you at least owed her the truth. But when it comes to the rest you'd be perfectly happy just leaving everything as it is—"

"So what?" Maks scoffed. "You didn't want people to know either. You told me yourself that it's enough that we know and that we don't have to explain ourselves—"

"Well I changed my mind," Aleks grumbled.

Maks scrutinized him for a few seconds. "Why?" He really was curious.

Aleks just shrugged. "I don't know, don't you want things to be normal someday?" he asked quietly. "Maybe not now, but... someday. Cause we're not like we were at the beginning either and... I don't know, it's about little things. Like if you're asked if you have someone, say that you do instead of making up some wild stories. Just because I didn't want it before in theory doesn't mean I don't want it now with you," he uttered, staring at the Audi logo on the steering wheel and looking extremely self-conscious.

Maks swallowed, feeling all his anger disappearing as if it'd never been there. This changed things. Did this change things? For a moment he tried to imagine what Aleks in his endless optimism saw so clearly, the two of them in a few years. Assuming that they would make it without killing each other and getting killed by anyone else. Assuming that Aleks would break free from Partyka. Hypothetically, what then? After all they could sneak around for a few months or a year or even a few years if they were very dedicated, but not forever. And Maks was torn, because on one hand the world where he was labeled as gay petrified him, but on the other Aleks was so firm in his decision to do this with him, he felt nauseous at the mere thought of letting him down. And logically he knew that this little asshole was a complete hypocrite, because Maks' cowardice at least wouldn't get them killed, but when he said things like that he couldn't help but turn a blind eye to his hypocrisy.

He must have taken too long to answer, because Aleks eventually winced, looking even more embarrassed than before. "Ok, go talk to your mum," he repeated, killing the engine.

"You're gonna be mad at me," Maks objected pitifully.

Aleks shrugged. "So I will be, whatever. I'll get over it," he assured him wearily.

Maks reached out to grasp his chin. "I want things to be normal," he confessed, forcing him to look into his eyes. "And they will be. We're... we're gonna fix it all, ok?" He tried to convince both of them. "I'm gonna make it to the concert," he promised, getting just a sullen nod in response. Maks leaned in to kiss him, but Aleks turned his head, so he just sighed and backed off. Aleks was riled and there wasn't much he could do to placate him. He opened the door and Aleks did the same. "You're not taking the car?" he asked, surprised.

Aleks shrugged. "I need a drink. Bring the keys upstairs?"

Maks barely caught them and just stood there for a while, clutching them in his hand. He wanted to tell him many things to not let him go in such low spirits. He wanted to tell him that nothing had changed, that whether his parents knew or not didn't matter, didn't affect the two of them in the long run, because they loved each other and it took more than pissed off parents to change that. And Aleks knew that, he must have known that, he was just anxious before the concert, so Maks should just tell him all that to make him feel better.

"Sure," he said instead. That was it, one little pathetic word.

Aleks faked a smile. "Thanks," he muttered flatly before taking out his phone to get an Uber, so Maks turned around reluctantly and headed inside. He really needed to talk to his mum and Aleks didn't seem like he was going to cool off anytime soon.

***

Aleks didn't have a mirror to check, so he couldn't be sure, but he suspected he was blue in the face from nerves. He leaned against the edge of a table, took out his phone and read the last text for the hundredth time. He didn't know why this one bothered him so much, he'd already received a bunch of them. He didn't know why everything bothered him. He should just forget about it, forget threats, forget Maks, forget everything that wasn't his career that was starting right here and now.

7:13 pm. From: Unknown. I didn't think it would be so easy. Best of luck tonight. Enjoy your five minutes of fame.

And what was so awful about this? It wasn't even an actual threat. He signed. What would be easy? What?!

"Jesus, why are you so pale?" Szymon laughed, entering the backstage. Aleks reflexively hid his phone. "You're not nervous, are you?" he joked before taking a closer look. "Oh, fuck, you are." He sounded bemused.

"I'm gonna throw up," Aleks mumbled reluctantly.

Szymon, callous motherfucker that he was, burst into laughter. "Want some dope?" he asked, taking out a foil packet and a blunt wrap and starting rolling one. He sounded like he considered it an excellent solution to any problem.

Aleks shook his head slowly. "Nah, it makes me drowsy. I did some shots before, but it didn't help any. Maybe I'll do more," he said thoughtfully.

"Alcohol won't do the job," Szymon lectured him in a tone of a professional, tossing the joint on the table. "You need this," he added, putting something out of his pocket.

Aleks gave him a crooked smile. "I think I know your supplier," he snorted, recognising tiny pink bags. "But thanks, there's no point."

"It's just methylone," Szymon reassured him quickly. "It won't hurt you, it'll just chill you out—"

"I know," Aleks cut him off. "The first time around it literally did nothing, this crap doesn't work at all."

"Well you must have been unlucky then," Szymon declared without a trace of doubt. "Or you're just chill enough on your own. But it's going to take the edge off, I swear. It helps with chicks too. Even I picked one up on it," he chuckled deprecatingly. Aleks grinned. "But seriously, dude, you look terrible. Are you sure you're not going to pass out? We can't have you freezing at the entrance instead of going out there, we have a crowd to entertain," Szymon urged him.

Aleks bit his lip, scrutinizing a tiny pill laying on his hand. He couldn't recognize himself. His heart was in his throat, his hands were trembling, he felt clammy drops of sweat on the back of his neck and right now he didn't believe at all that he was able to do it. Maybe he'd overestimated himself, maybe he wasn't all that good after all. There were thousands better than him, so why would he have made it and not them? Especially since he couldn't even go out there and give them his best shot, he could just linger backstage, climbing the walls.

"Alright, whatever helps," he muttered at least, reaching for the pill abruptly before raising it to his eye level. "Is it ok to mix it with alcohol?" he asked distractedly.

Szymon shrugged. "Unless you down like a fifth of vodka, you should be fine," he chuckled.

Aleks impulsively put it on his tongue before grabbing a bottle of mineral water, then closed his eyes, waiting for something to happen. "I don't feel anything," he grumbled.

Szymon smiled indulgently. "Just go out there and do what needs to be done," he instructed him gently.

Aleks stared at the door. He was right, the support had finished a while ago and he couldn't keep putting it off. He took off towards the door and already grabbed a handle when his phone pinged. Aleks paused, annoyed, because lately text messages didn't bring any good news. He wanted to ignore it, but figured he would spend the whole concert stressing over it, so he forced himself to check it. What now...?

7:34 pm. From: Wincent. Hey, can we talk? It's important. Tomorrow at noon at the club?

Aleks frowned. What could he possibly want? Ever since he'd awkwardly invited him to his place after the job and Aleks had equally awkwardly refused, Wincent had been trying to steer clear of him, which had suited Aleks just fine. They had nothing to say to each other, they both knew that whatever had been happening between them was over, talking about it would only cause unnecessary drama that they'd both rather avoid.

Sometimes Aleks wondered if he'd actually broken Wincent's heart. He wasn't sure how he felt about it. He was still staring at the message in puzzlement when another one came.

7:36 pm. From: Wincent. Break a leg tonight. I didn't think you'd want me there, but I know you'll be great.

Aleks closed his eyes, then put down the phone and pushed the door. He wasn't blinded by lights, it was actually quite dark. There were a lot of people making a whole lot of noise. He forced a smile, took a mic from the amplifier and wrapped a cord around his wrist. He surveyed the whole room with his eyes. It was strange, some faces were completely unfamiliar, some he hadn't seen in ages and others he'd only met not that long ago. His old friends from Praga mixed with kids from school mixed with people he'd seen around Partyka, who were nothing more than acquaintances really, they only knew that his name was Aleks, where he'd come from and more or less what was his role in their organization. He squinted with difficulty. He knew that guy in glasses, he'd been at Maks' birthday party. And right next to him, no way—Ewelina. There was something very wrong with that girl.

There was one person missing. Would he have been standing with them? He might have preferred to avoid his ex-fiancée. He started to scan the room carefully. No trace. He took a shaky breath, suddenly feeling as if he was going to suffocate. All these people like souvenirs he'd been collecting through his entire existence, all assembled, watching him expectantly. All those separate lives he'd been leading, crashing together. This motley had no business ending up in the same place. Elegant, sketchy fellows, looking like they were ready to pull a gun out at the first sign of trouble, even though everyone should've been checked for guns at the entrance. Next to them pimply high school graduates and hooligans with shaved heads next to a couple of queers Aleks knew from various clubs. All these people looked bizarre side by side. There was just one person missing.

He felt flushing all of the sudden, like his blood was on fire. He swallowed with effort, his saliva tasted bitter. But he'd been waiting for this his whole life, hadn't he? Doubts would only throw him off his game. He couldn't afford to be mediocre today. He had something to prove and barely an hour to burn this place down. Screw all these people, screw texts from Wincent, screw Ewelina, screw Partyka and screw threats. Screw...

He hesitated before glancing at Szymon and giving him a tiny nod.

Screw Maks.

***

Annoyingly enough, the drive to Sulejówek passed in a flash, no traffic on the way today of all days when he needed time to sort through his thoughts. He parked in front of the house, the door was open, so he went inside quietly and immediately heard a muffled argument.

"Do you even know yourself what your problem is?" his dad jeered, sounding like it wasn't the first time he said it. Maks froze behind the door, cursing internally, because it was just his luck that the guy who spent three quarters of his life at work now turned out to be home. Some part of him wanted to retreat, but he knew it was pointless. This disaster was already set in motion and he wouldn't very well rectify it if he ran from it. He pricked up his ears, but couldn't hear his mum's quiet answer.

"Jesus, woman, why do you need to turn every little thing into a spectacle?" his dad added, exasperated.

"Every little thing? Adam, you have no idea what you're—" she started to raise her voice.

"Because you won't tell me!" he exclaimed. Maks heard hurried footsteps, then long silence. "Sure, get wasted, that's a good answer to everything," he scorned. "Look—" He didn't get to warn her because then there was a loud crash of breaking glass. His dad shouted something and Maks took a deep breath before pushing the door.

"Everyone's ok?" he checked.

His dad threw him a surprised glance before shaking his head. "Your mother certainly isn't," he muttered, not moving from his armchair to help her gather up the remains of the glass. Maks ignored him and moved to stop her before she cut herself, but by then she forgot about the glass and was staring at him with wide eyes. She was either already drunk or just very agitated.

"Not a coincidence, right?" she asked vaguely.

"No," Maks said, looking her straight in the eye.

"What are you two talking about?" his dad scoffed, annoyed at being left out of the loop.

Maks gave him a sideways glance. "Can I talk to mum for a minute?" he asked civilly.

"It concerns your father as well," his mum spoke up rigidly.

Maks shrugged, trying to appear indifferent even though his heartbeat sped up uncomfortably. His mum was mad and she was a liberal artist, so he didn't even want to imagine what his dad was going to say. "Well I'm twenty five, so I don't think it actually concerns either of you," he declared, crossing his arms and just in case already assuming a defensive stance.

"Maks, don't act like a child, of course it concerns us," she objected wearily. "Can't we just talk about it? Was I supposed to...? Were you going to...?" she faltered, then took a deep breath. "If I didn't come to the exam, would you even mention it? Or not?" she asked reproachfully.

Maks opened his mouth to answer, but his dad was faster. "Wait, what exam?"

"To drama school," Maks mum informed him curtly and Maks didn't think he imagined the satisfied tilt in her voice.

Her husband blinked. "Maks, what is she talking about?" he asked thunderously, a clear warning in every word. "I thought you gave up this nonsense years ago."

Maks bristled. "I've never given up this nonsense," he protested haughtily. "I just needed to realize that I was wasting my time with financial nonsense instead of doing what I've always wanted to do."

"And what, you think you're going to be an actor?" his dad taunted. He pronounced the word 'actor' like it was an insult.

"That's the idea," Maks replied steadily.

"I told you, Maks, you need a proper, reputable profession to mean anything in this world," he said gruffly. "You didn't have to follow my footsteps after all, I offered you law, I offered you—"

"Well, I didn't like any of your suggestions," Maks snapped.

"Did you know about this?" his dad asked sharply, this time addressing his wife.

"Of course I did, but that's not the actual issue here," she said impatiently. "It's not about acting—"

"What can be worse than acting?" he asked with such genuine surprise that Maks would have been tempted to laugh if the situation hadn't been so dire.

"If I were you I would focus on his love life rather than his career choices," she stated plainly, raising a pointed eyebrow.

"Why?" her husband narrowed his eyes. "Did something happen with Ewelina?"

Maks didn't even have a chance to interrupt.

"Ewelina is out of the picture," she informed him simply. Her husband looked at her as if she'd suddenly started to speak Chinese. "Now we've got Aleks."

"Who the fuck is Aleks?"

"I have no idea, you need to ask Maks about that, but I can tell you who Aleks most certainly isn't," she paused meaningfully. "A girl."

The silence that fell after that was slightly awkward. Beata looked at her husband who seemed taken aback. Maks looked between both of them nervously.

"What are you even saying?" Adam asked at least, rubbing his eyes.

She sighed restlessly. "I'm saying that your son is dating a man. Boy," she corrected herself, but apparently that didn't work either. "Man," she decided.

"Are you out of your mind? Have your brain gotten completely consumed by booze?" he blurted incredulously.

"Hey, don't talk to her like that," Maks admonished him quietly.

"If you speak to me that way one more time..." she started, then paused when she registered her son's words. "Thank you, Maks." She smiled reflexively.

"Did you hear what she just said?" his dad exclaimed, apparently thinking that the way he spoke to his wife was the least of their problems. Maks opened his mouth to confirm that yes, he'd heard loud and clear, but of course he didn't get the chance. "Are you even listening to yourself?" he growled at her.

She crossed her arms. "Are you? You won't make it less true by denying it. I met him today."

"You met who?" He started to sound impatient himself and clearly couldn't wrap his head around this conversation.

"Aleks!" she snapped. "I've met Aleks! He was at the exam!"

"You've met Aleks," he echoed, raising his eyebrows skeptically. Maybe he'd gotten back to doubting that the whole thing had even happened and hadn't been just a figment of her imagination, because he was looking at her as if he didn't consider her mentally sound. Maks didn't even try to participate anymore, he was just watching the disaster unfolding right in front of his eyes. "The one who is not a girl," he added derisively. "And what does the presence of Aleks who isn't a girl at the exam have to do with your sudden conviction that our son is gay?"

"Dad," Maks started, attempting to mollify the situation, but of course he was completely ignored.

Beata threw her hands up. "Jesus, you're so blind," she hissed. "You wouldn't know, but our son sometimes tells me what is happening in his life, which is why unlike you, I know it has plenty to do with that."

"You said that you found out whatever it is only today," he pointed out reasonably.

"I thought it was Ola!"

He blinked, puzzled. "There's also some Ola?"

"There is no Ola!" Maks finally shouted, interrupting their ridiculous squabble. Both his parents' eyes immediately fixed on him and they both opened their mouths simultaneously.

"So it's the same Aleks?" Luckily his mum was faster.

"Yes. It's the same Aleks," he spelled out, fed up with this dispute.

She deflated. "Couldn't you start with that?" she asked sternly.

"No, you two were too busy talking over each other."

"No, when we first spoke about it," she clarified. "Couldn't you tell me that it was he-Aleks and not she-Aleks?"

"I told you his name," Maks muttered petulantly, even though he knew that was no excuse. He hadn't told her because he was a coward.

"So what?" she scoffed. "Do you have any idea what kind of position you've put me in? I was looking at him and I didn't even know who I'm looking at. He must have thought I was crazy. You should've just told me the truth like a normal person and I'd have invited him to dinner and we'd have all behaved like normal people! Why can't we ever behave like normal people?!" she shouted.

Maks stared at her for a moment, lost for words. Ok, she might have been drunk and mad, but not about what Maks had thought she would be mad about. "I'm sorry," he uttered miserably, because apparently he hadn't given her nearly enough credit.

"Really, Maks, I don't know how you've ended up such a liar, because you definitely didn't get it from me," she stated, giving a pointed, disapproving look to her husband, who up until then seemed to be mulling over what he'd just heard and only snapped out of it at his wife's words.

"You think this is his biggest problem right now, that he's a liar?" he asked disbelievingly.

"Oh please, tell me what you believe is wrong with my son," she hissed, taking a daring step forward.

"Look at him!" Adam exclaimed, perplexed, pointing at Maks with chaotic gesture. "It's like someone replaced him! Yesterday he was a financial advisor and was going to get married, and today he suddenly claims to be gay and an actor? What is he going to be tomorrow? A bisexual astronaut?" He cackled at his own bad joke. "Come on, what is this? You can tell he's yours, I married a mental case and now I have a mental son!"

"Take it back!" she hissed through clenched teeth.

"Kid, don't listen to her." Adam ignored her and turned to Maks. "Your mother is trying to brainwash you, but come on, you're smart. I don't know what kind of age-inappropriate rebellious phase you're going through, but you're gonna change your mind in a week, quit this whole acting thing and go back to Ewelina."

Maks raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, fat chance." He wanted to say more, but his dad didn't let him get a word in edgewise.

"Yeah, fat chance that I'm going to let your future go down the drain," he shot back. "And that's how it's going to end if you listen to this sick drunk. You'll end up an old bachelor, not a penny to your name and branded as a fag for the rest of your life. Is that what you want?" he asked rhetorically.

Make barely listened to him. "Don't you dare call her that again," he warned him in a deathly serious voice.

His dad gave him a crooked smile. "Remember who you're talking to," he advised coldly, before rubbing his eyes in bewilderment. "Good God, Maks, are you even serious? You're not a fag, you've endured women all those years, I'm sure you can keep at it. You got bored with this one? Then, I don't know, you're not married yet, just find another one, Ola or whatever, I don't care, do you have to make a whole production out of it just like your mother?" He spread his arms helplessly, looking as if he really couldn't wrap his head around it. "I would expect that from your sister but not from you. What are you even trying to prove?"

Maks shook his head slowly. "Sorry, dad, you can say whatever you want, but neither of those things are negotiable, not Aleks and not the drama school," he informed him calmly.

"I won't allow any Aleks or any drama school," Adam hissed, making it sound like it was the end of discussion. Maks felt himself slowly losing his temper. "You must both be mad if you think I'll let my son turn into a laughing stock, become some sorry clown playing house with another kid who is probably just as—"

"Well I don't give a shit if you allow it," Maks cut him off crudely.

His dad narrowed his eyes, inadvertently surprised, because he couldn't remember his son ever snapping back at him. "You don't give a shit, huh?" he curled his lip. "Well, think, Maks. Don't be stupid and think very carefully before you throw everything away. Even if I can't stop you, I'll never stand for it, it's madness," he said, raising his arms to demonstrate that he was washing his hands of this. "Because I gave you everything so you could have a good start in life, but if you'd rather toss it back in my face and be a pushover, that's your call. But I gave you this job you have, you couldn't even do that on your own. And I gave you a place to live. So now I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, but if I hear another word about the drama school or someone named Aleks I'm going to stop assuming you're being smart about it, so make sure I won't," he finished disdainfully, getting up and passing him by impassively on his way out of the room.

Maks shot him a dirty look and started to protest, but his dad paused at the door and added over his shoulder, "I told you, not a word," he cautioned. "Really, Maks, everything can be handled discreetly. You like boys, fine, get a hotel room once a month, there's no need to flaunt it like this. And keep my name out of it."

"That's your advice for him, you bastard?!" Maks' mum yelled, grabbing another glass from the table and hurling it with full force at her husband, who had unfortunately already closed the door behind himself. Maks flinched involuntarily when the glass shattered. He didn't look at her at first, he was still trying to digest his dad's last remark and his nerve, as well as the fact that his mum might have been more considerate and open-minded, but she was also a bit barmy and liked to throw objects at people. Suddenly he found himself missing Aleks, compared to this madhouse he was almost sane.

His gaze slowly moved to his mum and for a moment there was a spark of grim camaraderie between them.

"I'm sorry your father is such a bastard," she said evenly, as if she hadn't been throwing glass around barely a minute ago.

Maks shrugged. "What were you thinking?" he asked, meaning the day she'd married him.

She snickered bitterly. "I thought every bastard could be domesticated. Besides at the beginning he pretended he wasn't a bastard. They always do. Just as I pretended I wasn't a lunatic. Only after a while we got sick of pretending and realized that we hate a person we've spent thirty years of our lives with," she added almost blithely, more like she was stating a fact than complaining. "So find someone who doesn't make you pretend and isn't pretending to you. If they show you from the very beginning how fucked up they and you're still into it," she lowered her voice a bit, because it wasn't proper for ladies to use swear words. "That's half the battle already."

There was a hint of a smile on her face and at first Maks chuckled, because his mum never cursed and it was strange to hear 'fuck up' from her lips, but then he started to ponder on it. Aleks was a rash, feisty, foolish little thing, hiding behind a tough mask. He was a brazen, fickle, petty narcissist. He was a sly, callous materialist. He was a hypocrite who lied as if it was his life mission, and he'd revealed each of these faces to Maks, who should have realistically found them infuriating. And maybe he would have, if he hadn't considered every one of them completely captivating.

He looked up and saw his mum giving him a knowing smile. He grimaced out of habit and already felt an awkward question approaching, when he was saved by his phone. He took it out, cursing to himself. Had the concert started yet? He glanced at the time. Right, it might had already ended. And, ladies and gentlemen, the title of the worst boyfriend ever went to...

Robert was calling. Make answered, involuntarily curious. "Yeah?"

"Hey, man, where are you?" he asked as if he was unable to comprehend why he couldn't see him.

"Sulejówek," Maks said reflexively. "I had to... do something. With my parents," he added, pulling a face at the understatement and hearing his mum snigger next to him. "What about you?"

"Where am I? Are you kidding?" Robert huffed. "In Progression! It was awesome! Aleks absolutely nailed it! I mean he did slip up here and there, but he handled it brilliantly. We're all here, me, Klaudia and Ewelina, you're the only one missing!"

His words were drowned out by the noise in the background and Maks thought he'd misheard at first.

"Ewelina is there?" he echoed sharply, feeling his mum's attentive eyes fixed at him.

"Course she is. She loved it, we all loved it. She said she doesn't know where you are. But ok, I won't bother you," he said, still sounding animated.

Maks' mind was going a mile a minute, because he only now realized that since he hadn't informed his best friend that he'd dumped his fiancée, if Ewelina hadn't informed him either then it meant that Robert didn't know. Neither did his wife or anyone else. Somehow he felt that since his parents now knew, the rest of the world should as well, but it didn't work like that. People didn't even know that he and Ewelina were no longer together. She'd just paved over it.

"Wait!" Maks stopped him abruptly before he hung up. "Is she still there?"

"Yeah, she's right here." Robert was a really good friend, because he must have heard something in his voice that had suggested that they shouldn't be talking in front of his fiancée—ex-fiancée, but he didn't know that—and added, "Wait a sec."

Make figured he'd gotten away from the rest, because the noise was gone. "What about Aleks?" he asked urgently.

"Him and Ewelina went to talk and they disappeared for a while, then Ewelina came back and Aleks... I spoke to him briefly, he went on to celebrate with some people." He didn't sound very sure of his own words. "I haven't seen him since—"

"With what people?" Maks asked sharply.

"I dunno, people," Robert replied before laughing carelessly. "He's a big boy, I'm not going to babysit him."

Maks sighed. "Ok," he yielded. "But did he say where he was going?" he added hopefully.

"I don't know," Robert said, only then starting to wonder whether he really knew or not. "Mazowiecka I think?" It sounded more like a question than a statement. "I don't know," he gave up eventually.

"Ok, thanks," Maks muttered. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Sure thing. Later."

Make put the phone on the table. "I need to go," he said distractedly, standing up abruptly.

"I can see that," his mum answered with amusement. "So I won't learn more than that his name is Aleks, he's not a girl and he has a lovely smile?" she added with exaggerated disappointment.

Maks smirked. "Next time," he promised.

She nodded slowly. "Ask him to dinner. I want to meet him properly."

Maks rolled his eyes. "Yeah, ok." Right now he couldn't even picture Aleks meeting his mum for dinner.

"I'm serious. Ask him," she repeated stubbornly. "I'll try to get through to your father. When I decide to speak to him again." She grimaced.

"You don't have to," Maks assured her. "I've got nothing more to say to him."

"I've got a lot to say to him," she ground through her teeth tenaciously. "You know I don't like to stay silent."

Maks' smile was brighter this time. "I know. You and Wiki both. I've always admired that about you."

His mum raised her eyebrows. "I think you've gotten more from me than you realize," she informed him in a confidential tone. "And a good thing that you have. I wouldn't want to watch you turn into your father," she added seriously.

Maks had to agree with her. She wouldn't want to watch that and he wouldn't want to live through it.