One Moment - 6. Chapter 6

One Moment

Chapter 6

Matt was more than a little dismayed that evening right before dinner when he was led to Dr. Marshall’s office, even more dismayed when he realized Andy was heading there too and giving him several dirty looks, as they walked, not that he was very surprised about that.

Once they were in the office Andy sat down heavily in a chair looking plenty pissed off making Matt even more nervous about what was going on, though he was sure it had something to do with his reason for refusing to write the apology letters.

He sat down in the chair he usually sat in, which conveniently was quite a distance from the one Andy had chosen to sit in and looked at Dr. Marshall questioningly.

“I’ve called you boys in here real quickly before dinner to go over the project I want you two to do. Andy already knows about this Matthew. Since you are both level 1’s you need either to do chores or work on projects. I thought it would be good to have the two of you work on a project together.”

Matt’s gut turned urging his mouth to open up and speak. “Why?”

“Cause you’re a tattle tale.” Andy snapped glaring at him from the other side of the room.

Angered Matt looked directly at him. “You’re the tattle tale, and you don’t even tell the truth when you do it.”

Dr. Marshall held up his hands, surprised at the first full sentence he had heard Matthew say, before Andy could retaliate. “I didn’t call you boys in here to fight, there’s no use going over why this is happening, it just is.” He opened a file folder on his desk and looked down at it. “You boys are going to be doing a research project. I want you to do a 20-page report on runaway teenagers in America. I want statistics, backgrounds, information on organizations out there that help them, I want a professional over look on it, and then I want you to add your personal feelings on the issue. I want it done by Friday, when we will meet back in here the last hour of class and go over it. You can use the internet of course and any of the books and periodicals we have.”

Matt looked from Andy who was still glaring at him, back to the doctor knowing this ‘project’ had some underlying meaning to it and thinking the underlying meaning had a lot to do with Andy being such a snot. He hated the idea of having to do any project with Andy and did not like being the guinea pig in Dr. Marshall’s scheme but knew he was in no position to argue.

“After your chores tonight you can go to the classroom and start your research. You will work on it until your bedtime at eight. That’s it.” He said smiling as if he’d just bestowed them with a great treasure. “You can go eat now.”

After eating dinner and watering the plants, Matt walked with Jason, his guard for the evening, down to the classroom where Andy was already waiting looking very impatient. Matt noticed he had his own staff member with him and wondered if the ‘three foot rule’ was now applying to him too.

He turned back to the door when Dr. Marshall walked in and watched as the Doctor motioned the two staff members over to the door.

Jason and Ken, the other staff member, walked up to the doctor who spoke to them quietly. “Let them bicker, as long as it doesn’t get way out of hand. I want them to communicate, even if it isn’t all nice. I have a feeling they’ve got to get some feelings out with each before they can get past this.”

Matt, who had incredible hearing abilities that apparently Dr. Marshall did not know about, turned back and looked at Andy, who was again glaring at him with his arms across his chest. He was glad that it did not appear Andy had overheard Dr. Marshall although he really did not think a rule made much difference with Andy. He had gotten the impression that when Andy wanted to say something he said it either way.

The second Matt heard Dr. Marshall’s footsteps retreat Andy’s mouth opened. “Well you just gonna stand there? Expect me to do all the work?”

Matt furrowed his brow and looked him over. “What exactly are you doing for work?” As far as he could tell Andy was doing some pretty good ‘just standing there’ himself.

Andy snorted and shook his head then roughly pulled the chair away from the desk that had the internet computer on it in front of him. “You get your own chair.”

Matt grabbed a chair from a nearby desk and sat down keeping a good amount of space between him and Andy but close enough to be able to read the screen.

“Do you know what the inter….net is?” Andy asked speaking as if he was talking to a four year old.

Matt nodded not thinking his snotty attitude deserved a verbal response. He didn’t know much about the internet but knew enough to hopefully not look like a total fool.

“I don’t know why we gotta look this up anyways. Ain’t you a runaway? I mean you’d have all the information we need.”

Matt looked at him, surprised he actually knew that information. He was beginning to realize that Andy wasn’t some cool guy that was suave and rich so everyone liked him. Andy, he was coming to find out, was just an idiot. “I think Dr. Marshall wants more than one opinion, in fact he said that, remember? When you were being a jackass in his office earlier?” He had to grin inwardly at his own bravery; he would never have talked to one of his tormentors like that, back when he was in school at home. He had been far too scared of them. Apparently, he had grown some balls in his time as a runaway, something he was just now noticing. He liked being able to talk back, and liked that he wasn’t feeling the least bit cowardly about the response his latest comment would bring.

He was surprised when it only brought a dirty look. Andy suddenly seemed much more intent on actually looking up the information. Matt found himself a little disappointed, as he certainly wanted to keep using his sudden bravery.

Andy wasn’t silent for long as he to scanned through the information. “Did you run away? Or did they kick you out? Or did they die?”

Matt raised his eyebrows, realizing Andy had not really known anything he was just spouting off like usual. He looked down at his hands, not sure if he should answer at all, but not wanting Andy to have more ammunition against him by thinking he was kicked out and his parents didn’t want him, so he said. “I ran away.” He was in fact sure that his parents didn’t want him, but they hadn’t kicked him out and for some reason he didn’t want people to think that they had.

Andy looked away from the computer and stared at him, making him feel very uncomfortable. “If you ran away how come your parents didn’t come here and get you, when you got in trouble? How come they don’t even come visit?”

Now wishing he had just ignored the first question, as answering the second one honestly would surely let Andy know his parents could not care less about him, Matt just shrugged.

“Yeah well whatever. Let’s just print off a bunch of stuff and then go over what we want and don’t want like tomorrow night or something.”

Matt sat there feeling like an idiot while Andy sat at the computer going just where he wanted to go for resources without asking for any input. Not wanting to it to get back to Dr. Marshall that he had just sat there, something he figured Andy would surely love to tell, he cleared his throat and spoke up when the clock reached 7:15.

“Let me find some now. You shouldn’t get to pick them all.”

Andy let go of the mouse, turned, and glared at him. “Yeah dude whatever,” he said, standing up from his chair abruptly causing Matt to flinch thinking for a moment he was going to be hit. Relief filled him as Andy merely walked over to the printer and gathered up all the stuff he’d printed out. Matt pushed the other chair aside and moved his chair over in front of the computer figuring Andy may throw a royal fit if he took the comfortable office type chair.

He surveyed several sites and printed out several pages. When flipping through one page in particular, his heart stopped and his eyes widened as his hand froze over the mouse.

Andy seeing the sudden change in Matt’s demeanor leaned over and looked at the screen. “What in heck do you care how many die? You’re still alive.”

Matt looked at Andy briefly, his instincts kicking in before his common sense. “I have to go.” He said desperately before he jumped out of his chair and ran for the door.

Andy turned to watch as Matt ran for the door and as soon as he reached it, the two staff members grabbed him. He started to kick and hit at them, screaming he had to go repeatedly. Andy watched in wide-eyed amazement as he shook his head and muttered ‘freak’ under his breath.

Matt fought the men with all he had, using his arms, his fists, his legs and feet to deliver blow after powerful blow to every part of their bodies that he could reach but still he couldn’t get away.

Just like the time before, more and more hands fell upon him, holding him still despite his desperate struggles. This was not fair, he should not be here, why couldn’t they just let him go. His anger and frustration rose over the top and he found himself screaming in complete anguish as he was lifted up and carried down the series of hallways.

When he was laid down on the mattress in the small room, he fought with all he had to not be rolled over. He knew as soon as he was, he would be completely powerless to move. Despite his ferocious attempts to sit back up though, the hands holding him eventually rolled him over onto his stomach and held him tightly against the mattress.

While the side of his face was pressed tightly into the mattress by a strong hand on his head tears of frustration and desperation seeped from his eyes. “I’m sorry Danny,” he said just above a whisper, as his emotions took hold of him and his body shook with sobs.

Mark walked into the building for work at 8am the next morning and was immediately greeted by Mary.

“How was your day off?” she asked as he walked into the kitchen for the cup of coffee that she always had ready for the staff every morning.

“Not bad,” he grinned. “Slept most of the afternoon.” He turned to the door as Dr. Marshall walked in and said a good morning to him.

“Morning Mark. Matthew’s in the isolation room this morning.”

Mark’s heart ached as he nodded. “Trying to run away again?”

Dr. Marshall nodded, seeming as upset as Mark felt. “He was even more intent on getting away this time, the night staff has quite a few bruises on them.”

“You’re not going to send him away are you?” Mark asked knowing that had happened in a few cases where the clients were just too violent to be dealt with at their facility. He was relieved to see Dr. Marshall shake his head.

“The only time he’s violent, the only time he even acts out, is during his escape attempts. As you have said, most of the time he is very well mannered and does as he is asked. I do not think he is violent by nature, I think he is violent out of desperation. I am even more convinced that he feels he needs to get out of here. That it’s more than just something he wants.” Dr. Marshall tilted his head to one side as a couple of other boys walked into the kitchen to put their breakfast bowls in the sink. “Come with me for a minute,” he said gesturing to Mark.

Mark, coffee cup in, hand followed Dr. Marshall down to his office. Once inside they closed the door behind them but didn’t bother to take their seats. “Has he ever mention anyone to you named Danny?” the doctor asked, turning back to look at Mark.

Mark thought quickly then shook his head. “Nope he’s never mentioned anyone.”

“He started crying last night when he was being restrained. In addition, he said ‘I’m sorry Danny.”

“Did he have any brothers?” Mark asked.

Dr. Marshall shook his head. “No, I’m thinking this must have been someone he knew on the streets. I am going to try to get it out of him, but I know you would have better luck than I would. So can you see what you can find out?”

Mark nodded. “Sure,”

“You can get him out of that room now. He has been calm well over six hours. Take your time getting him to class, you don’t need to bring him to see me first, I have a session with him this afternoon anyway. Make sure he has a shower and a nice breakfast. I imagine he’s hungry with all the exertion he put himself through last night,” the doctor said with a small smile.

Mark made it to the isolation room and relieved the other guys on duty. He walked into the room and knelt down beside the mattress to find Matthew still on his stomach with his arms down by his sides and the palms of his hands pointed up toward the ceiling still sound asleep. He reached out his hand and brushed the hair off Matthew’s forehead as he said his name loud enough to hopefully wake him up.

It was not until the second time Mark had said his name that he started to stir, curling up one hand, and moving his arm up so his hand met his face.

“It’s time to get up Matthew.” Mark said figuring he wasn’t quite fully awake.

Matt’s eyes slowly opened and he rubbed at them with the hand that was now in front of his face. He turned his head and looked up at Mark. “I don’t want to get up yet.”

“Why not?”

“I’m still tired.”

“I’m sorry Matthew, you have to get up. Staying up too late fighting with staff really isn’t an appropriate excuse for getting to sleep in.,” he said with a warm smile.

Matt slowly sat up and looked around, then tucked his chin down to his chest and sighed. “I forgot.”

Mark furrowed his brow in confusion. “Forgot what?”

“That I was in here.”

“But you remember now you tried to run away again?”

Matt looked up at him showing some confusion of his own. “Of course I do.”

Mark nodded, glad he could rule out dissociate behavior as a reason for Matthew’s initial comment about forgetting.

“Do you hate us that much?” he asked.

Matt looked up at him again. “I don’t hate you.”

Mark nodded, knowing from the way Matt said it that he, and he alone, was the only one Matt did not hate.

“Do you hate Dr. Marshall?”

Matt looked back down at the mattress and shrugged. “I don’t know if I hate him, but I don’t like him. And I don’t like the other kids. The teachers seem kinda nice, and Mary.”

Mark nodded, deciding to jump right in with the big question. “Who’s Danny, Matthew?”

Matt’s head shot back up and the look in his eyes told Mark the name meant a whole lot to him despite what came out of Matthew’s mouth.

“I don’t know, why?”

“Because you apologized to him last night, when you were being restrained.”

Matt shrugged swallowing hard, of course he remembered the apology, had cursed himself for the next two hours for actually letting that name slip out of his mouth. “I was just upset, it doesn’t mean anything.”

Mark nodded, not believing him for a minute. “If there’s a problem Matt we just may be able to help.”

Matt looked up at him so wanting to tell but the promise he’d made stuck strong in his mind. He decided a subject change might be in order. “You just called me Matt.”

Mark tilted his head to one side thoughtfully. “I did didn’t I? Do you not like to be called Matt?”

“I don’t like being called Matthew.”

“Well why didn’t you say so? We would have stopped calling you Matthew as soon as you asked.”

Matt shrugged, though he was surprised they would do that, he had figured they just used proper names, though thinking back he wasn’t sure why as Andy wasn’t a full name. Certainly his real name was Andrew or something.

“If you want something Matt, just ask. You won’t always get it, but as long as it is reasonable, we can help you out. Don’t be afraid to ask for something, okay?”

Matt looked back at Mark and nodded.

“Now you have to get up and have a shower. Dr. Marshall says to give you a good breakfast too. Anything in particular you want?”

“You mean I get to choose? What…am I being rewarded for trying to run away or something?” Matt asked in total confusion.

Mark chuckled and shook his head. “No it’s not a reward. He just figures you must be pretty hungry after all the energy you used up last night.”

“Have I got to go to class or do I just sit and write apology letters all day long?”

“You have to go to class. I’m not sure when he’ll have you write the letters.” Noting the unhappy look on Matt’s face he added, “You don’t like class either? I thought you said you liked the teachers?”

“I do, I don’t like the classes. I’m not smart enough for school.”

Mark shook his head, “Oh Matt you’re not dumb, don’t sell yourself short, you just have to get caught up. School’s for learning not measuring yourself against others. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses; do you know what your strength is?” He asked figuring now might be a good time to bring up the cabin.

Matt shook his head and shrugged.

“I’d say its writing. That paragraph you wrote that day you were taking the tests is amazing, I’ve never seen writing like that out of anyone in this place that was that intense.”

Matt looked up at him surprised. “You read that?”

Mark nodded. “They were so impressed with it they had me read it. Sounds like that place was very special to you.”

A far off look came into Matt’s eyes as he tilted his head to one side and stared off into the corner of the room. What came out of his mouth was a complete contradiction to his facial expression. “It’s no place special.”

“I’m not calling you a liar here bud, but to write that detailed, that wonderfully about some place that wasn’t special, well I have a real hard time coming to grips with that.”

With the same look on his face, Matt shrugged again still staring off into the corner of the room.

“So it wasn’t a place you and your family vacationed?”

Matt pulled his eyes away from the corner and looked back at Mark. “We didn’t vacation.” He scoffed shaking his head as if it was just the most ridiculous idea in the world.

Mark frowned easily sensing a complete dislike for his family. “Didn’t you have any fun times?”

Matt looked at him then at the door. “Can I take a shower?”

“Sure,” Mark did not push it, it really wasn’t his place to ask such questions in the first place, and obviously, Matt did not want to talk about it.

After he took his shower, he walked alongside Mark to the kitchen where Mary was sitting on a stool by the island counter writing out a long grocery list. She looked up and smiled at them as they walked in.

“Morning Matthew, how are you?”

Matt smiled at her surprised everyone was being so nice to him after his second escape attempt the night before.

“Actually I just found out he likes to be called Matt.” Mark chimed in.

Mary smiled again. “Well Matt it is then! What do you want for breakfast?”

“Cereal’s fine.” Matt said walking over to the cereal cupboard.

“You sure?” Mark asked. “It’s not very often you ever get a choice of what you want around here.”

Matt shrugged as he pulled out the box of Cheerios. “I’m not that hungry.”

Instead of going into the dining room to eat, Matt was surprised when Mark pulled out a stool at the island where Mary was sitting. “No need to go all the way in there when we can keep Mary company in here.”

Matt walked over and put his bowl, now filled with cereal and milk, on the island then climbed on the stool that was beside the one Mark sat on. Mary got up and grabbed his pill and a glass of water and set them both down in front of him then sat back down, looking over her lists.

“What’s your favorite meal Matt?”

He only shrugged having just filled his mouth with cereal.

“I’m figuring out next week’s menu and it’s like the same things over and over. I need new ideas. I’m hoping your favorite meal will be a new idea.”

He looked over at her as he swallowed and thought, he’d most always made his own meals at home and none of them were very good so he didn’t count any of those and thought about some of the stuff he’d had as school lunches. “I like chop suey.”

“The Chinese kind or American?”

He furrowed his brow in confusion. “I don’t know, it had hamburger, macaroni, and a tomatoey sauce.”

Mary nodded. “American, that sounds good, and believe it or not we haven’t had that here. How did your mom make it?”

He looked at her again swallowing the cereal he’d just put in his mouth. “Oh she didn’t make it, I liked it at school, and I don’t know how they made it.”

Mark and Mary exchanged a look, as Matt redirected his attention back to his cereal bowl, which showed they were both surprised he would choose a school cafeteria meal over something his mother would have made.

“Well let’s have that next Tuesday then, it’s very easy to make and I agree it’s very delicious.”

“Do you actually have to go buy all the stuff that’s on that list at a grocery store?” Matt asked seeing it was incredibly long.

“Yeah I’ll go today with a helper. We don’t go to a regular grocery store though and lots of this we already have because a lot of food gets shipped in. I’ll have to go through the freezers and cupboards and check off what we have then go to a bulk foods store and pick up what we still need.”

“When do they deliver that?”

Mark held up his finger. “Don’t answer that Mary, he just wants to know when that door’s going to be open long enough for them to bring a bunch of food in,” he finished with a small laugh.

Matt’s eyes widened but he found himself not mad at all at Mark’s comment, in fact he was very surprised to find himself grinning as the way Mark had said it was very funny. It wasn’t condescending or accusatory at all, it was just funny.

He wished he had met Mark somewhere besides this place, he wished he did not have to view Mark as his prison guard or something because he very much liked the guy. It would have been nice to meet an adult that was so nice when he was on the streets, surely a person as nice as Mark would have given him a few odd jobs to do. Surely, he would not be as snotty and mean as all those other people he’d asked had been.

He finished up his breakfast and took his bowl to the sink where he rinsed it out then set it on the sideboard then walked with Mark to class. He was very pleased to find that he had missed math class and got to go right into English. His eyes fell on Andy as he made his way to his seat. He didn’t look so smug this morning, if fact Matt could have sworn he looked almost scared of him.

He figured that might be due to his attack on the staff the night before. He wasn’t sure he liked people being scared of him in general, but in Andy’s case, he did like it. He liked the thought that Andy may be scared of him, if that was actually the case, maybe the guy would manage to keep his mouth shut and keep his snotty comments to himself.

“I just passed these papers back.” Sarah, another one of the teachers said, handing him a paper he had written the week before. It was another writing assignment that he had enjoyed doing. He looked down at the paper and smiled happily, seeing a big red A in the top corner. He looked up at Mark, who was walking him to his desk, as Mark put his hand on his shoulder.

“See Matt you aren’t stupid,” he said quietly.

Matt smiled up at him feeling very good about the compliment and very good about the A he had gotten on his paper. He’d never gotten many A’s back in regular school, of course that was due to the fact he never did the work, he didn’t have that option here though, and maybe just maybe actually doing the work may prove he wasn’t so stupid after all.