Winter Love: with love & Ovaltine - 1. Chapter 1

Winter
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.
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Yes, California has winter. And some years, it actually gets cold—like, properly cold. Folks in Los Angeles probably wouldn’t get it. They don’t really experience seasonal cold, not the way we do. But where I live, it gets cold enough. Especially in the mornings and evenings. Just riding a scooter slowly to the nearby 7-Eleven, that cold wind hitting your face can numb your skin right through.

My name’s Eli. I’m eighteen, in my final year of high school—senior year—at a school up north. So yeah, I can say with full confidence that California does have winter. Otherwise, why would people from the cities rush over here in droves during this time of year? Especially to the mountains.

One morning, I woke up feeling like I had a million lazy bugs stuck to my back. I reached out to shut off the alarm clock, its annoying sound ringing in my ears, and rolled back under the covers. And this was without even using the heater. Winter had just barely started, and it was already freezing like this.

“Eli! Wake up already!” my little sister Lila pounded on my bedroom door. “I told you last night I’ve gotta go out early with my friends! Hurry up or I’ll be late!”

“Yeah yeah, I’m up!” I yelled back, annoyed, as I tossed off the blanket and got out of bed. The icy wooden floor shocked me the second my feet touched it.

I hurried across the room, grabbing my towel from the rack beside the full-length mirror. My reflection looked like death. I swear, I hate mornings. Truly.

I dragged myself to the shower and got dressed quickly. While buttoning my school shirt, I caught another glimpse of myself in the mirror. Honestly? Not bad. A bit of water on my face and my skin looked fresher, more alive. I might even be decent-looking. I’m half from the valley, half from down south. I used to live in a beach town until I was in elementary school. But Mom always says I look completely like a mountain kid. Not a trace of that beachside look. Not that I’ve ever really known what she meant by that.

“Eli!! Are you done yet?! Come down and eat! If you’re not out in thirty seconds, I’m taking the scooter myself!”

“I’m coming, damn it!!”

I swear, having a younger sibling is a full-time headache. If you don’t have one, don’t try to imagine it. Just take my word for it.

At school, Lila immediately bolted off to wherever she was supposed to meet her friend. Probably the cafeteria or her classroom. I wandered around a bit before heading to the usual spot where my friends and I always gathered in the morning. Of course, this early, no one was there yet. I checked my watch—it wasn’t even 6:30. Great. I’d probably end up falling asleep while waiting.

“Eli!” someone called behind me. I turned to see Nick waving and walking over.

“What the hell are you doing here this early, Nick?”

“Came to copy homework,” he said, shamelessly. “Totally forgot last night. Told Jace to bring his so I could copy it. There’s so much, man.”

“Don’t act like you just forgot last night, dumbass. That assignment’s been sitting around for weeks. And you only started it now? Good luck finishing.”

“Easy for you to say—you’re done already. Instead of helping, you’re roasting me.”

When we reached the hangout spot, two other friends—Ben and Jace—were already there, staring at their phones. They waved when they saw us, and Jace, especially, gave me a huge smile.

“Damn, Eli, you look like you crawled out of a ditch,” Jace joked, patting the seat beside him for me to sit.

“It’s barely morning. No one could be cheerful at this hour but you,” I grumbled, dropping my head onto the table.

“Aww, don’t like mornings, huh? Then why show up so early?” Jace said, reaching over to ruffle my hair gently. “I thought Nick would be the only crazy one. You here for student council stuff?”

“No. My sister made me drop her off…” I mumbled into my arms.

“Oh no, poor baby,” Jace said, voice full of mock sympathy.

“All right, that’s enough of your flirting, you lovebirds,” Nick cut in. “Hand over the homework, Jace! And tell me what’s important and what I can skip. I’ve got zero time!”

“Serves you right. Here, take it.” Jace handed over the papers. “Copy away. If you’re confused, ask Ben. I dragged him here just for this.”

“Great, now I’m involved,” Ben muttered. “Nick, seriously, how are you this hopeless? You mess up everything.”

“Don’t yell yet! Let me at least start copying!”

I tilted my head slightly, looking at Jace next to me. He was still laughing. Then, almost like he could feel my gaze, he turned and looked right at me. When our eyes met, he smiled and raised one eyebrow—just for me. My chest tightened. I ducked my head back down, face burning.

Jace’s always been good-looking. Plus, he’s an athlete. One of the school’s most popular guys. Girls like him. A lot. We only ended up in the same class in sophomore year. Started out in the same friend group, and then a year later, we got really close. By junior year, we were basically inseparable. But he doesn’t know I’ve had my eyes on him since middle school. I always thought he was handsome, kind, and charming. Confident but never arrogant. When I found out we’d be in the same class, I was beyond excited… but I couldn’t show it. I could only admire him from the sidelines.

Nobody at school knows I like guys. I’ve been a student council kid all along, involved in activities, known by teachers and students alike. I couldn’t just come out and tell the world. And being surrounded by straight boys, always chasing girls, kicking balls around—I just blended in. Faked it until it became second nature.

But no matter how practiced I am at hiding… I still can’t handle the way I feel when I’m near Jace.

It’s not just his looks. It’s the way he acts around me. The way he calls me over to sit next to him, even if there are other seats. How he leans in close, ruffles my hair, wraps an arm around me, pulls me along to things—just the two of us. And sometimes, he gives me these little smiles, ones that feel like they’re meant only for me.

And for a moment, I let myself believe maybe… maybe he feels something too.

But no. He doesn’t.

I know that for sure.

Because he’s dating my sister’s friend.

And I know they’ve already slept together.

Fuck.

“Have you eaten yet?” Jace’s voice was suddenly right next to my ear, so close and unexpected that I jerked—and my forehead slammed into his face.

“Ow!!” we both shouted. I clutched my head while he grabbed his nose.

“Damn, Eli! What, are you trying to break Jace’s face?” Ben laughed.

“Shut up, he just startled me,” I said through gritted teeth, rubbing my forehead. “Shit. Sorry, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, really,” Jace said, waving me off—but I caught sight of blood dripping through his fingers.

“Dude! You’ve got a nosebleed!”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s okay. It'll stop soon,” he laughed softly. “Probably just popped a vessel.”

“You’re still cracking jokes? Idiot,” I muttered, pulling a handkerchief from my pocket.

“Jace!! Get away from me!” Nick suddenly shrieked. He looked pale as a sheet. “Eli! Get your boyfriend away from me! I swear, I’ll pass out—blood freaks me out!”

Right. I completely forgot. Nick has a severe fear of blood. He’s actually fainted before. Jace and I scrambled to our feet and half-jogged toward the nearest water tap. Once we reached it, we crouched down.

“Are you hurt? Shit, I’m sorry,” I said, handing him the cloth.

“It’s alright. It’ll stop soon.”

“Quit being stubborn. And who told you to tilt your head back during a nosebleed?” I gently turned his chin forward. “Here—pinch your nose and lean down.” I wiped the blood from under his nose carefully, but it kept smearing. I dampened the cloth and cleaned it more gently, even wiping the blood between his fingers while I was at it.

Jace let out a soft laugh—even while holding his nose.

“What’s funny now?”

“It tickles.”

“You’re ridiculous,” I muttered, shaking my head.

“You’re really kind, Eli,” he said suddenly, peeking up at me through his lashes.

I froze. My face flushed warm. Trying to shake it off, I gave him a light whack on the head and stood up. “You’re imagining things. Stop talking. Keep your head down. When it stops bleeding, wash your hands. Here—take this.”

He reached for the handkerchief but missed, grabbing my hand instead. He paused, fingers resting lightly, then pulled the cloth from my palm and slowly stood.

“I think it’s stopped,” he said, finally releasing his nose. “See? I told you I heal fast.”

“Then wash your damn face. You’ve still got blood near your nose.”

“Where?” He scrubbed at it with his hand.

“Not like that, you idiot. Want it to start bleeding again? Come here.” I took the cloth back and gently wiped the side of his nose again.

Jace smiled. “See? You’re sweet. Especially to me.”

There it was again. That voice. That look. That smile.

And me? I couldn’t even speak. The heat in my chest climbed to my throat and stopped everything.

“Can I keep this handkerchief?” he asked. “It’s all bloody now. Don’t know if it’ll come clean. I’ll buy you a new one.”

“No need. I’ve got a ton,” I said, shaking my head. “Come on. People are starting to show up. Let’s head back.”

“Wait… Eli.” He grabbed my arm. “Thanks.”

I didn’t reply. Just looked down and started walking.

It made me happy, sure. But at the same time, it stung like hell.

People who’ve never had a crush on a friend… they wouldn’t understand.

That evening after school, I had to carry a huge stack of documents for the teacher from our last class all the way to the staff room. At first, I figured I could manage it on my own, but once I actually picked them up, they were way heavier than I expected. And the staff room? Far. I didn’t get very far out of the classroom before I had to set them down with a sigh—cursing myself for not asking anyone to help.

“Can’t carry it after all, huh?” Jace’s voice called out from behind. He walked over and took half the stack without another word. “Come on. I got you.”

“Yeah... thanks. Seriously.”

The two of us walked side by side in silence. Students who had just gotten out of class passed us by—some walking, some running—and greeted us now and then. We didn’t talk again until we dropped off the documents and were leaving the staff room.

That’s when we ran into my lovely little sister.

“Eli! I was just about to call you. I have to go work on a project with my friends. I already told Mom and Dad—it’s gonna be late.”

“Yeah? So?”

“Can you leave the scooter for me? I need it to buy some stuff and head to my friend’s place. Please?” she said, clasping her hands in that annoyingly sweet way of hers.

“And how am I supposed to get home?”

“Just have one of your friends take you. I already told Mom and Dad, okay?”

Here we go again. My sister being her usual bossy self. And of course, our parents just let her do whatever she wants.

“I’ll take you,” Jace offered. “But you’ll have to wait a bit—I need to stop by the gym first.”

“It’s fine. I’ll just go with Nick or whoever.”

“Nope. You’re going with me. End of discussion. You made me bleed this morning, remember?”

“What the hell does that have to do with anything...?”

“No arguing.”

“Wait, what? What did you do to Jace this morning?” Lila asked, suspicious.

“It was nothing, Lila,” Jace said quickly. “Just a little accident. Anyway, you’ve got Chloe staying to work with you, right? I’ll leave her in your care then. I gotta get to my club.”

And with that, Jace half-dragged, half-guided me out of there before she could say anything else.

Chloe—yeah, she’s Jace’s girlfriend.

“You’re not staying to take Chloe home?” I asked as he tugged me along.

“Nope,” he replied, short and to the point. But that answer wasn’t nearly enough to quiet the questions spinning in my head.

“Why? You guys fighting?”

“Yeah. Been a while, actually. We’ll probably break up soon,” he said plainly. I hadn’t expected that level of honesty.

“What happened?”

“It’s a long story. Doesn’t matter. I’m not upset about it or anything. Don’t worry about me,” he said with a small smile.

“I wasn’t worried,” I muttered, looking away.

“You always worry about me. I know you do,” he said with a grin, even wider than before.

Goddamn it, Eli. Blushing again. Always blushing. And at the same time, something tightens in my chest.

We’re only a few months away from graduating. Just a little time left. Can I really carry these feelings all the way to the end? But the thought of eventually being apart from him... yeah, that makes me sad too. Because when that day comes, I know it’s going to be lonely. It’s going to hurt like hell. Even if I tell myself that maybe it’ll be a relief—to finally stop waking up every day to see that same smile that breaks my heart—it still sucks. But maybe I’ll finally be able to start over. Let my heart heal.

Even so… it’s that very same smile that gives me warmth. It’s what gets me through cold mornings like this.

It was happiness laced with a hush of sorrow—a smile that sometimes arrived hand in hand with tears.

Jace’s in the basketball club. He’s the club’s Captain. In a few days, our school will be competing against our long-time rival—win some, lose some over the years—but this time is his last. His final game. He wants to win. Not just for himself, but for the whole team. He wants the younger players to feel what it’s like to fight together, to win together. So he’s been taking practices seriously—training hard, encouraging everyone else, helping them improve.

I ended up waiting for him while he practiced. Just killing time on my phone. Sometimes he’d run over to check on me—ask what I was doing, whether I was cold, whether I was hungry. He’d sit with me during breaks, chat a little. I lazed around on the stands while he trained, and it was past six by the time he finished. Technically, practice wasn’t even over yet, but he bailed early.

“You’re not gonna finish practice? Why sneak out early?”

“Eh, I’m good. I’m already awesome. Don’t wanna keep you waiting too long.”

“Listen to you. Cocky as ever.”

“Haha, actually, I’m starving. Come on, let’s grab food. Then I’ll take you home,” he said, throwing an arm around my shoulders. “Aren’t you cold? You’re wearing a shirt thin as tissue paper. What were you thinking?”

“It was warm at noon, okay? How was I supposed to know I’d be stuck here this late?”

“Here. Take mine. Give me yours. We’re switching.”

“Hey—no, don’t. I’m fine. I’m not that cold.”

“Quit arguing. I saw you curled up for an hour. Give it.” He slipped my outer shirt off and tossed me his own jacket. “Put it on.”

“What about you? Won’t you be cold?”

“I just finished running around. I’m steaming. Let’s go, I’m hungry.” He led me toward his scooter and handed me the helmet. “If you’re scared of falling off, just hold on tight around my waist, alright, little one?” he laughed.

“Asshole,” I muttered, smacking him lightly on the head. “Come on. Take me to food. I’m starving.”

“Yes sir!”

He drove us out of the school and headed in the opposite direction from my house. Said he was taking me to our favorite Thai place—bit far, but worth it. I didn’t argue. It’s my favorite too. And on a cold day like this, a bowl of hot curry or stir-fried noodles sounded perfect.

Riding behind him, the wind hit me from all sides, making me curl in on myself. It made me wonder—he was the one taking the wind full-on, and now he was wearing my thin sweater. Was he freezing?

“You cold?” I asked as we waited at a red light.

“A little.”

“There you go. Why the hell did you give me your jacket then?”

“Don’t worry about it. Just hug me. That’ll warm me up.”

“Screw you! Don’t be gross!”

Jace laughed, and when the light turned green, he pulled away. A few blocks later, he said something again.

“Eli. What I said earlier… I meant it.”

“Wh-what?”

“Hold my waist. I’m cold.”

I didn’t know what to say. My mind blanked for a second. Then—after hesitating for a moment—I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind, just like he asked. My heart was pounding. But I told myself it didn’t mean anything. Maybe he was just cold. Just needed warmth. That’s all.

Besides, between guy friends, physical stuff like this isn’t that weird… right?

That’s what I told myself.

Until he reached back with one hand… and gently held onto mine.

His hand was cold. I flinched a little.

But my heart? It only beat faster.

Jace didn’t let go.

His hand stayed wrapped around mine the whole time.

Even though the wind was biting, even though the air was freezing, and even though his hand was ice cold…

I felt warm in a way I couldn’t explain.

If I could stop time…

I’d freeze this moment forever.

After we finished eating, Jace drove me home. This time, he didn’t say anything about me holding him. Instead, before we even pulled out of the parking lot, he reached for my hand and wrapped it around his waist himself.

When we got to my house, I handed his jacket back. Then we both stood there in silence for a moment—me, not going inside yet; him, not starting the engine to leave. We were close, sure, but we’d never been this close. We’d touched plenty of times before—he’d patted my head, slung his arm over my shoulder—but holding hands?

This was the first time.

“You… still cold?” I finally asked.

“A little. Just thinking about the ride home’s making me freeze already.”

“Then… wanna come inside for a bit? Get something warm to drink before heading back. If you want.”

Jace smiled wide. “Yeah? Your parents won’t mind? It’s late.”

“Late my ass. It’s only eight. Come on. Don’t act like you’ve never been to my house before.”

I led Jace inside. We greeted my parents, then I took him up to my room. I brought him a cup of hot Ovaltine—his favorite. He knew I’d make it for him. And I knew he knew. Honestly, if I hadn’t, he probably wouldn’t have even agreed to come in.

“Man... this is so good,” he sighed with a soft smile after the first sip.

“God, you sound like an old man. Brain-dead much?”

“In this cold? What’s better than a warm cup of Ovaltine and a good friend?”

“Ugh, how cheesy can you get? Save that sweet talk for your girlfriend. Don’t waste it on me.” I blurted it out without thinking—and instantly regretted it. “Oh... sorry. I forgot you’re having problems with her. How bad’s it been?”

“A while now. Month or two, maybe.”

“Wait—seriously? You’ve only been dating like half a year. And if it’s been that bad, how come I didn’t know?”

“Because I didn’t tell anyone. But it’s not that bad. We just kind of drifted. I think she’s the one who’s pulled away. I didn’t really stop her. If she breaks up with me, then that’s that. I won’t be sad... I’ll feel sorry, sure. But I won’t be heartbroken. I’ve already gone through that phase.”

“Really? You’re not gonna be sad at all?” I sat down next to him on the bed.

“Maybe I was. A little. But honestly, not anymore. Like I said—I’ve already been through it. The overthinking, the lows... it’s done. And if I’m not all that upset now, I think it’s because…” He looked at me.

“Because...?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Never mind,” he laughed. “Not telling you.”

“Asshole!” I kicked him lightly, careful not to spill the Ovaltine on the bed.

He set the cup down on my nightstand and lay back. “Just a few more months and we’ll be graduating, going our separate ways. What do you think?”

“About what?”

“About our friends. About you and me...” He stretched his hand toward the ceiling, fingers spread like he was trying to catch the lightbulb. “I’m really gonna miss you, you know? Out of everyone, you’re the one I’m closest to.”

“Mm.” It was all I could manage.

“Promise me, okay? Promise you won’t disappear. That we’ll stay in touch, even if we end up in different places.”

We both knew, because of his stuff going on at home, that we’d never end up at the same university.

“Oh come on, Jace. Don’t get all dramatic on me now. We’ve still got time left before graduation,” I dodged, unwilling to let my emotions slip. I was scared that if I let even one feeling show—just one crack—it would all come pouring out, and I wouldn’t be able to stop it.

“You’re always like this, Eli,” he said softly, eyes still staring at the ceiling.

“Like what?”

“Just... like this.”

I looked at him, at the faraway gaze in his eyes, and my chest started to ache. A deep, squeezing kind of ache that made it hard to breathe. What was this feeling—this sudden flood of love and sorrow swelling so high inside me it felt like it might spill over?

I changed the subject and asked about the upcoming basketball match. It worked. We got to talking, and kept the conversation going—about the game, about other random things—until we heard a knock on the door. It was my mom, suggesting Jace stay the night. It was late, a dark moonless night, and she didn’t want him riding home alone.

I checked the clock. Nearly eleven.

Jace blinked, surprised. He hadn’t realized how late it was—he’d left his phone on silent since evening and had missed a bunch of calls from his mom. He called her back, got scolded, and then asked if he could crash here. She didn’t mind.

“Well, looks like I’m bothering you tonight,” he said with a grin.

“Bother, my ass. Don’t act like you’ve never stayed over before. Your toothbrush’s probably still in the drawer. Go shower before my mom yells at both of us,” I said, tossing him a towel. “I’ll grab you some clothes.”

“Thanks, buddy~” he said with a goofy face and ducked out.

It was true—he’d stayed over lots of times before. At first, I used to get nervous. Especially the first few times. But over time, I got used to it. Nothing ever happened. We always slept on opposite sides, never even brushed up against each other. I trained myself not to think too much.

But tonight... something felt different. Something inside me—something between us—had changed. And I couldn’t stop worrying about it.

Maybe it was because he’s about to break up with his girlfriend.

Maybe it was because he asked me to hold him on the ride home.

Maybe it was because we’re graduating soon.

Maybe it was because of the way he spoke to me tonight.

Maybe it was all of it.

Or maybe… it was just my own heart, messing with me again.

Twenty minutes later, Jace was lying in my bed. I waited until he was tucked in, then asked if I could turn off the light. He nodded. I hit the switch. The room went dark.

I quietly made my way to the bed and laid down. “Not turning the heater on tonight, okay?”

“Yeah, it’s already freezing.”

“You’re still cold?”

“A little.”

“See? Shouldn’t have tried to be all macho, giving me your jacket.”

“I didn’t want you to be cold,” he replied. “But hey—after you held me? I warmed up a lot.”

It was dark, but I was sure I saw him smiling.

“You’re such a flirt, you know that? If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying to seduce me, asshole,” I said, heart racing.

Jace laughed, then suddenly rolled toward me and pulled me into a hug.

“Whoa! What the hell are you doing?!”

“I’m cold. Can’t I get a hug?” he murmured against my neck. “Just for tonight.”

Something in his voice—something quiet and buried—made my pounding heart slow down. Something hidden deep in the way he said those words made me realize this love of mine… was never going to be returned.

Maybe I imagined it. Or maybe I didn’t. But that one sentence told me everything I’d been wondering for so long. It gave me all the answers I needed.

And so I let him hold me.

His breath and heartbeat pulsed softly in my ears. I reached up and placed a hand on his arm, then slowly moved it until it found his hand. When he didn’t pull away, I gently laced my fingers with his—like I was holding something fragile, like a rose petal I didn’t want to bruise or lose.

“We’ve never hugged like this before… You’ve never held me like this.”

“Mmm,” Jace murmured.

“And we’ve never held hands, either. Not once.”

Still, no reply.

“Don’t you think it’s strange?” I whispered. “We’re both guys… but we’re hugging, holding hands like this…”

Silence.

“Jace…”

“Does it make you uncomfortable, Eli?”

I sighed. “No. I mean… hugging’s kinda my thing. So I’m okay with it.”

He chuckled softly. “You’re weird.”

“Yeah. But you like me anyway.”

“I’m gonna sleep now. Good night, Eli.”

“Yeah. You too, Prince Jace.”

I gave his hand a soft squeeze, then let go. Jace pulled me in a little closer, resting his face deeper into my neck. I wanted so badly to hug him back. To tell him I liked him. That I loved him more than just a friend. That I was both happy and suffocating from this feeling that had nowhere to go.

But in the end, the fear of ruining everything we had—of destroying this fragile closeness with a selfish, stupid truth—won out.

And so I swallowed my feelings again.

Just for one more night.

That night, Jace and I stayed wrapped in each other’s arms until morning. I don’t even remember when I started holding him. I only knew that when I woke up, he was curled up in my arms—and I didn’t want to let go.

After that, we left for school together, talked like usual, smiled at each other the way we always did. Everything between us returned to how it had always been—nothing more, nothing less. If anything had changed, it was the bond between us. It felt just a little stronger. We seemed closer. And at the same time, the question echoing louder in my heart than ever before:

What did he really feel about me?

He might have looked at me the same. I might have smiled at him the same.

But the ache in my chest… it grew. Just a little. But enough to hurt more than before.

As Christmas approached, our school started prepping for its own celebration. Everyone got busy—clubs, booths, class activities. I was drowning in it. As student council president, I had to handle budgets, check logistics, process student complaints, respond to teacher requests… It was the busiest I’d ever been.

One day, I had to stay back late to discuss event prep and the budget with a teacher. By the time I left the staff room, I had less than fifteen minutes of lunch break left.

“Thank you, sir,” I said with a respectful nod before closing the door behind me and bending down to put on my shoes.

“Tough break, huh?” Jace said from in front of the room. “They keeping you locked in there so long you’re not even allowed to eat?”

I didn’t even bother asking why he was there. I already knew.

“Yeah. I’m starving. I could eat a whole damn cow right now,” I groaned, face scrunched with frustration—part hunger, part stress.

“Here.” He handed me a juice box and a granola bar. “Have a snack. Something’s better than nothing.”

“I’m good. I really just want a proper meal.”

Jace’s face fell slightly, and I felt a pang of guilt.

“Well... what if there’s no food left? Just take the drink for now—save it for when your throat’s dry. And the granola bar, you can always eat it after the meal…”

“Okay, okay. Thanks.” I took the juice and bar. “You’ve eaten already, right?”

“Yeah, but I’ll sit with you. Fair warning though—there might not be much left. When I went to buy that bar earlier, some vendors were already packing up. The deli counter was totally sold out.”

“For real? Eh, it’s fine. I’ve got this now, right?” I held it up with a grin.

Jace smiled wide. His cheeks turned slightly pink. That was rare—he was usually the bold, shameless one.

“Eli! Eli!” a girl’s voice called out. She ran toward me with a friend in tow.

“Do you… um, do you have a moment?” she asked shyly. “I just… I wanted to…”

“What is it?” I asked gently.

“Oh my god, just tell him you want his number!” her friend jabbed her in the ribs.

“Brittany!! Shut up!!” the girl’s face turned beet red.

“You want my number?” I blinked. I wasn’t used to being hit with something like that out of nowhere.

“Ahem… sorry, girls,” Jace stepped in and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “My friend here hasn’t even had lunch yet. I’ll be taking him to eat now, okay?”

He nudged me forward, leaving the two girls behind.

“Dang, he’s possessive!” I heard Brittany whisper behind us. “That’s a sign if I’ve ever seen one!”

And I’m pretty sure Jace heard it too. But he didn’t react—not one bit. If anything, I thought I caught the faintest smirk at the corner of his mouth.

“You think this is funny?”

“What?” He turned to me.

“I said—is it fun for you? Getting people to misunderstand like that?”

I didn’t mean to snap. Maybe it was the stress, the fatigue, the hunger, everything building up over days. But I couldn’t hold it in.

“What do you mean? Who’s misunderstanding what?”

“That girl. Don’t pretend you didn’t hear what she said. And don’t act like you don’t know what you’re doing. If you didn’t want people to get the wrong idea, why do you keep doing this to me?”

Jace looked at me like I’d just slapped him.

“Eli. Are you sure… you really want to say that to me?”

I paused, then shot back, “And what about you? Are you sure about everything you’ve said and done with me? Especially that night?”

His expression changed. I’d never seen him look like that before—shocked, angry, confused… and hurt. His mouth opened like he wanted to say something, but then he stopped. He exhaled hard, shook his head, and said flatly, “Go eat by yourself. I can’t join you right now.”

Then he turned and walked away.

“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath, storming off to the cafeteria on my own.

We didn’t talk again that day—not once. Not even a glance. Jace had never been cold to me before, not like this. And it stung. A lot.

“What the hell did you two fight about?” Nick asked, plopping down beside me as I sat watching Jace and the others play basketball.

“Who do you mean?” I replied without looking at him.

“Oh, come on. Don’t start with me, man. What’s your damage? What are you trying to say, huh? What do you want from me? What do you want from society?” Nick ranted, deadpan.

“Jesus. Alright, alright. I don’t even know how it started. Maybe I was just tired. Hungry. Stressed out. I got irritated and snapped at him.”

“And then?”

“What do you mean ‘and then’?”

“After you snapped—what did you do?”

“I… probably said something pretty shitty.”

“You two don’t usually fight. Maybe some playful bickering, but never serious. Jace’s always been chill, the calmest guy ever. And as far as I can remember, he’s always the one who comes around first. So if he’s staying mad this long… it must’ve been a big deal.”

“I guess so…”

“You think you were wrong?”

I paused. “If we’re talking about who started it, yeah. Probably me.”

“Then go apologize. Now. Come on, man. You’re about to graduate and go your separate ways. No time for sulking. Go patch it up with your boyfriend already, you idiot.”

“He’s not my boyfriend, dumbass!” I shouted, kicking Nick in the leg and standing up. “Alright, fine. Wait here.”

“Where are you going?”

“None of your business. Just stay put, okay? Don’t move.”

I ran to the school store and bought a granola bar and a bottle of guava juice—same kind Jace gave me at lunch. Then I ran back to the court and handed them to Nick.

“Here.”

“Thanks, but… why are you giving me snacks?”

“They’re not for you. Give them to Jace for me.”

“What? Why don’t you give them yourself?!”

“He won’t talk to me. If I go near him, he’ll walk away. Trust me. So you go.”

Nick looked like he was about to protest, but I cut him off.

“You were the one telling me to make things right, weren’t you? So here I am. Now help me. Be my friend. Support me. What do you want from me? What do you want from society, Nick?”

“Okay, okay! Fine!” he grumbled. “So just hand this over and that’s it, right?”

“Nope.”

“Ugh. What now?”

“Tell him…”

“Tell him what?”

I hesitated for a second, then decided short and simple was best.

“...That I’m sorry.”

Nick made a face like he wanted to gag and puke, but he went anyway. He jogged onto the court, snacks in hand, and headed straight for Jace, who was playing defense. He handed over the juice and granola bar and said a few words, glancing toward me.

Jace looked over, and I waved. He turned away quickly. But... I’m pretty sure I saw him smile a little before he did.

Jace shoved the snacks back into Nick’s hands. His teammates dragged Nick back to the sidelines, so he sat across the court from me. He shrugged like, “Welp, I tried.”

I didn’t blame him.

A few minutes later, the game ended and Jace walked straight over to me.

“You apologizing to me?”

“Nope,” I shrugged and looked away.

“Cool. Got it.” He turned to leave.

I grabbed his wrist. “I’m joking! I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. I snapped earlier. I was hungry, tired, stressed—please don’t stay mad.”

“Well… I don’t want juice.”

“Then what do you want?”

“I want hot Ovaltine.”

“Oh, come on. Where the hell am I supposed to get that?”

“Don’t you have some at home?” he asked with a sly smile.

“…Fine. Wanna go now?”

“I have something to do first. Quick meeting about our festival booth. Can you wait?”

Their basketball match against our rival school had ended a few days ago—our team won. But now, Jace and his club were stressed again, trying to figure out what to do for the school fair.

“Yeah, go do your thing.”

“But if I come to your place today, I’m gonna be too tired to ride back home later. It’ll be dark, cold… spooky… cold again… and also dark…”

I laughed, half-embarrassed. “You’re really milking it, huh? Fine. Go to your clubroom and tell your mom. I’ll wait here.”

“Here, take my jacket. I don’t want you freezing again.” He handed it to me. I had stupidly worn that same thin sweater again. “And those snacks I bought earlier—eat them while you wait. Or give them to Nick. Your call.”

“Why aren’t you eating them?”

“Because I want to save room… for hot Ovaltine at your house,” Jace said with a beaming smile, eyes twinkling.

And that right there…

That’s exactly why I both love and hate him.

“Here you go. Hot Ovaltine, just like you wanted.”

“Thanks,” Jace said, taking the cup from my hands. He brought it to his lips and took a small sip. That soft smile returned to his face—the kind that reminded me of a kid who just got their favorite treat.

“You really have the taste of a little kid,” I teased.

“Well, it’s good, isn’t it?” he said, placing the cup down on the bedside table. I sat beside him on the bed.

“Hey… about what happened earlier today… I’m sorry again, man. I don’t know what got into me. Just forget I said anything, alright?”

“Yeah, whatever. Honestly, I kind of get it. You’ve been run ragged lately, head spinning from all the work and stress. I get why you’d be irritated. Still… it didn’t feel good to hear. Just… don’t say something like that again, okay?”

“Yeah… yeah,” I sighed, dropping my head to stare at my hands folded on my lap. Then, in a quieter voice, I muttered, “But sometimes… it’s just hard to deal with.”
Jace took another sip of his drink. “What’s hard to deal with?”

“I mean… just…” The words wouldn’t come out. I was afraid that once they did, we’d only end up fighting again. “Never mind. It’s nothing. I don’t want us to argue anymore.”

“You were thinking about me, weren’t you?”

I nodded slightly and shrugged. “Probably…”

“Then why do you think talking about it would make us fight?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“Eli…” Jace’s voice suddenly changed.

I looked over and saw his brows drawn together. His eyes looked… I don’t know—troubled, maybe. Like he was anxious about something. Or maybe he’d just made up his mind about something important.

“What is it?”

“I think I… about what you said earlier today, I…”

I turned to look at him. My throat was dry as sand. My heart thudded so hard it felt like it would rip out of my chest.

Was he thinking the same thing I was? The same thing I’d been thinking about for months?

“Why… why are you…”

“Eli! Mom says come eat!” Lila’s voice called from the hallway, cutting through the moment.

Jace and I both jumped.

“Yeah! I’ll be right down!” I shouted back, then turned to Jace. We stared at each other in awkward silence for a few seconds before I finally stood up.

“L-let’s go eat first, okay?”

“Wait.” Jace grabbed my wrist. “Can we stay here just a little longer?”

I looked down at his hand holding mine, then met his eyes. There was something in his gaze that made my stomach twist and my heart feel weightless—though it was pounding harder than ever.

“Have you ever felt like…” he began, voice soft, “you wanted to tell someone how you feel… but you weren’t sure how they’d take it? You weren’t sure if they felt the same, and it scared you? Like… deep down you hope there’s a chance, but you’re afraid it’s all in your head, and if you say something, you’ll ruin everything. So you just… stay quiet.”

His hand was cold. I swallowed and nodded gently instead of answering. Our eyes stayed locked. That faint, warm smile of his appeared again—more beautiful than any morning sunlight in winter.

Jace let go of my wrist and slipped his hand into mine. Then he stood up. “Thank you, Eli… for everything. Thanks for taking care of me these past three years.”

His words reminded me of that old song—Something About Us by BMX Bandits

"It might not be the right time
I might not be the right one
But there's something about us, I want to say
Cause there's something between us anyway

I might not be the right one
It might not be the right time
But there's something about us, I've go to do
Some kind of secret I will share with you

I need you more than anything in my life
I want you more than anything in my life
I'll miss you more than anything in my life
I'll love you more than anyone in my life"

I could feel tears welling in my eyes.

“Close your eyes for a sec,” Jace said.

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

I closed my eyes, and then I felt his soft lips press gently against mine.

My body froze. One of his hands cradled my head, the other wrapped around my waist. Moments later, I relaxed—my lips parting just a little. There was the faint scent of malt and cocoa, warm and sweet.

He slowly pulled away just as I opened my eyes. “We might not be anything… but can I at least keep this moment? Just this feeling, in my heart?”

I didn’t answer. I just pulled him into a tight hug.

“Jace… I know our time like this won’t last much longer. But whether it’s now or later, however long it takes—I swear, I’ll never leave you. Ever.”

“Same here. If I lost you, it’d be like trying to breathe through just one nostril—not dead, but damn near unbearable,” Jace murmured, hugging me back.

“Same here…”

“Thanks, Eli,” he said, patting my shoulder three or four times. “Come on, let’s go eat before we get scolded.”

We pulled away. Jace’s cheeks were bright red, his eyes glistening with tears he refused to let fall. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the corners of his eyes.

My handkerchief.

“I’ll take good care of it. I promise,” he said with a smile. Then he used it to gently wipe my face too. “You crybaby.”

“Who, me? I didn’t cry. You’re the one who cried,” I said, turning my head away.

Jace leaned over and kissed my forehead. “Let’s go eat.”

If this was a dream, I didn’t want to wake up. I just wanted to stay in this dream a little longer. Please don’t make me face the truth—that in just a couple months, all of this… this warmth, this closeness, these feelings… will become nothing more than a memory.

Like I said, I don’t even know when liking him turned into loving him. All I know is, by the time I realized it… I already loved him. And by the time I realized that… it already hurt.

Time brought us together.

So why does time have to take us apart?

Why?

One week flew by like a blur. After nearly a month of chaos, the final stretch had arrived: our school’s annual Winter Festival—part Christmas, part New Year’s—kicked off today.

As student council president, I was on duty from morning to dusk. I had to keep everything running smoothly: checking booths, fixing last-minute hiccups, coordinating staff, answering a hundred questions at once. By the time things calmed down enough for me to enjoy the event like a normal student, it was already late afternoon.

“How’s it going? Couldn’t find you anywhere today. Busy?” Jace appeared beside me just as I was helping a younger student set up their lucky draw station.

“Yeah. Insanely busy. I’m completely wiped,” I said, rubbing my eyes. “What about you? Don’t you have your club booth to manage?”

“Ours is right over there. Saw you walking by and figured you’d be dying by now.” He handed me a chilled bottle. “Here—iced Ovaltine. Good cold too. You’ll thank me.”

I cracked a smile. “Thanks.”

Since that night at my house, we hadn’t talked about “us” again. Not a single word. He hadn’t said anything directly. Neither had I. But I was sure Jace felt something. And I think he knew I did too.

We didn’t need to spell it out. Whatever it was between us… we were both quietly holding onto it.

And maybe that was enough. Maybe just staying like this—close, quiet, a little complicated—was the best we could do. Especially with graduation coming. Maybe that was what he wanted. And who was I to ask for more?

“Ohh look at you two, being all domestic out here,” Nick teased, suddenly popping up with his camera slung around his neck. His badge read “Photography Staff,” and he’d clearly already taken a few too many candid shots of us.

“Got any good photos yet?” I asked.

“Tons. Battery’s about to die, though. Gotta swap it before the band goes up.”

“You sure you’ll make it?” I checked the folded schedule in my hand. “Band’s on in twenty minutes. Look—they’re setting up already.”

“Crap! Gotta go and get more batteries.” Nick took off at full speed.

“Hey, Mr. President, have you come by our booth yet?” Jace asked.

“Not yet. Haven’t had time.”

“Well, you’ve got time now. Come play some games. Support the team, you know?”

He tugged me along to the basketball club’s booth, which was set up right next to the stage. The school’s top band—handpicked for the night—was tuning up their gear. Their lead singer, Toh, was a friend of mine.

The basketball club’s game had nothing to do with actual basketball. Instead, they’d gone for a quirky fairground theme—“Dare Darts.”

The setup was huge. Imagine a checkers board, but super-sized—like forty squares by a hundred. They built a wood-framed grid about three feet by six, with numbered squares from 1 to 20 scattered all over. Some were left blank.

If your dart hit a square numbered 1 through 10, you won a prize. The rarer the prize, the fewer spots for that number. The top prize? A teddy bear taller than most of the freshmen—tied to number 1, which only appeared in five squares. Other prizes included plushies, anime keychains, mini LED lamps, fun notebooks, stickers, and candy.

Honestly, their prizes were leagues better than the other clubs. But what really pulled the crowd was the team itself: the basketball club was stacked with good-looking guys, and Jace was the biggest magnet of them all.

“What about 11 to 20?” I asked.

“Those are the ‘dares,’” he said, grinning. “Not punishments—just for fun. If you land on one of those, something silly happens.”

“What kind of silly?”

“Well, 11 means you get to make one of us do the chicken dance. Sometimes we throw in candy too.”

“You people are insane. Who wants to see you idiots dance?”

“Plenty. That guy Seth? He’s done the chicken dance five times already today.”

“And you?”

“Twice. Also got kissed on the cheek once.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Yeah. Some kid hit the number for ‘kiss the basketball captain.’ Young and proud. Girl and another boy chickened out earlier.”

“Who invented this nightmare?” I laughed. “And 16 to 20?”

“Those are the ‘customer dares.’ You might get floured or cheered on by a group of us shouting your name. Nothing too bad—just for laughs.”

“Alright, how much?”

“Three darts for five bucks. Five for six.”

“Whoa, inflation!”

“Dude, look at these prizes. Fair price. Come on.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll try.”

“Awesome. Five darts. My treat.”

“No, I’ll pay. Gimme three. I’m not risking five—weird stuff happens in the extra two.”

“Chicken. How about this—you pay five, I chip in a dollar. You get five darts. You throw three, I’ll do two. We split whatever you win. Deal?”

I rolled my eyes and handed over a five. “Deal.”

“Seth! Load us up—five darts for our VIP!” Jace called.

“You got it, Cap!”

Jace handed me the first three. “Grand prize is still out there. Aim for number 1.”

“Sure, and get swarmed by dares. I’ll aim safe.”

“Coward.”

I elbowed him lightly, took aim, and threw. First dart—number 8. I won a Marvel-themed notebook. Second—number 5. A rubber duck keychain. Third dart… I overshot and landed squarely on 13.

“Crap! I was so close to number 9!”

“Uh-oh!” a junior yelled. “Number 13! Crowd, you know what that means!”

A kid started banging on a bucket like a drum, and the booth exploded with cheers.

“Oh no. What’s 13?”

“You don’t get punished,” Jace said with a sheepish look. “I do.”

Before I could question it, the rest of the basketball guys circled us and started chanting in rhythm.

“Kiss on the cheek! Kiss on the cheek!”

I froze, staring at Jace’s face in a panic. My stomach flipped. He looked just as flustered—yet his eyes had that glint of mischief.

“Jace, don’t you dare.”

“Looks like we’re past the point of no return,” he smirked.

“I’m not playing along! This is insane!”

He leaned in and whispered in my ear, “I’ve kissed you before, remember…?”

My ears flamed. He pulled away just before the crowd lost their minds in disappointment. Phones were already filming.

“Hold on! Eli’s the one who has to do the kissing!” someone yelled.

“Do it before the year ends!” another added.

“Shut up!” I raised my hand, trying to quiet them. I turned to Jace and let out a heavy sigh.

Then I leaned in… and planted the quickest kiss imaginable on his cheek.

The second my lips made contact, the whole crowd erupted—shrieks, cheers, beating drums. I wanted to disappear into the floor.

“All right, all right! Show’s over! Back to work, people!” Jace laughed, waving everyone off. “Eli and I still have two darts left. My turn now.”

“Hit number 13 next, Jace!” one of the juniors, Kevin, called out. “Then you two can switch roles—top, bottom—oops, I mean, take turns kissing!”

“Can I throw this dart at his head instead?” I muttered. “I’ll cover the hospital bill.”

“Cheer me on, yeah?” Jace said as he squared up, holding the dart.

I wasn’t sure what he was aiming for, but his throw was fast and precise. It cut through the air and landed smack in the middle of a small, lonely square surrounded by high-numbered ones.

Number 1.

“No freaking way!! Grand prize!!” Kevin shouted.

Drums started pounding again. The crowd doubled, maybe tripled. I stood there in shock.

Jace looked stunned too. But then he walked up to claim the giant teddy bear—the one nearly as tall as me—and grinned as he waved me over.

“I told you I was aiming for you,” he said, grabbing my wrist. “It’s yours now. Come on, let’s take a pic.”

He pulled me close. I didn’t even have time to argue before flashes from phones and cameras lit up around us. Of course, Nick had magically reappeared and was snapping away from every possible angle.

“Don’t waste your last dart, Jace!” Kevin called. “Don’t bankrupt your own booth!”

“Relax,” Jace said with a laugh, winding up one final throw.

Thunk!

“Alright… let’s see,” Kevin said, checking the board. “Number twenty…” His voice dipped like the excitement was over, but then he suddenly brightened again. “Twenty! Guys!! Our Captain just hit number twenty!!”

I turned toward Jace. He had his hand covering his face.

“W-what now?” I asked. “Do I have to kiss you again or something?”

“Nope. This time… it’s my punishment,” he said, his cheeks flushed.

“Okay, what is it then?”

“I landed it, so I’ll deal with it. Unless… you want to take it for me?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Not a chance. What does number twenty mean?”

“Number twenty means…” Jace hesitated.

“…you have to shout out the name of the person you love!” Kevin finished for him.

The crowd shrieked.

Even Nick ditched the camera to whistle like he was watching a rom-com finale. “This is the best moment of the day, hands down!” he called.

“Nick, shouldn’t you be doing your job instead of livestreaming my humiliation?!” I shouted.

“Nope! This is way more important than student council coverage!” he laughed, snapping another photo.

“Traitor!”

While I was too busy yelling at Nick, Jace leaned in and whispered something to Kevin. Kevin nodded and ran off toward the main stage.

“Eli,” Jace called.

“Yeah?”

“Want to take my place?”

“W-what?!”

“Come on. You can be the one to shout your crush’s name.”

“No way in hell!” My face was already burning.

“I just won you a giant teddy bear,” he said, looking smug.

“You can have it back! I don’t want it! Just stop messing with me!”

“Aww, getting shy?” He leaned in and pinched my cheek.

More squeals erupted from the crowd.

“Cut it out! You’re embarrassing me!”

“What’s so hard about saying who you like?”

I couldn’t even make eye contact. My ears felt like they were on fire. “I’m not doing it!”

“Come on, Eli—who do you like?” Jace teased.

“You little shit, Jace! I—”

“Ready now!” Kevin shouted, cutting me off just in time to save my dignity.

“Okay… wait here. Take care of our bear.” Jace handed me the oversized plush toy and disappeared into the crowd.

“Where’s he going?” I asked, but Kevin just smirked and didn’t answer.

A few minutes later, Jace stepped onto the temporary stage, where Tyler and his band were finishing their soundcheck. After a quick exchange, Tyler handed him the mic. Students started gathering fast, phones already out and recording.

“Hello? Testing?” Jace’s voice echoed through the speakers. The courtyard went quiet. “Cool, it works. Uh—hey everyone! I’m Jace Carter, senior, captain of the basketball team. And if you haven’t been to our booth yet, it’s right over there. Tons of prizes and punishments waiting for you!” He grinned. “But I’m not here to plug our game. I’m up here because… well, I lost a round.”

A few scattered laughs.

He cleared his throat. “I landed on a special number, and the rule says I have to shout the name of the person I love.”

Gasps. Murmurs. Even a few giggles.

“Yup. Embarrassing, right?” Jace scratched his head. “But… with graduation around the corner, I figured this might be my only shot.”

He scanned the crowd, eyes locking onto mine.

“So instead of shouting, I asked if I could use this stage to say it—clearly, out loud. Still counts, right?” He chuckled nervously. “Hope you’ll forgive me for being this shameless.” “Hey! Over there!” he called, raising his arm. “That’s Eli Reyes—student council president, and the guy hugging a bear that’s way too big for him!”

Suddenly, everyone turned to look at me.

I panicked and dropped the bear like it was on fire.

“That’s right… Eli.” His voice grew softer but still carried across the speakers.

I tried to back away but—of course—Nick grabbed my arm, eyes shining with anticipation.

“I love you!” Jace shouted.

For one heart-stopping moment, there was silence. Then—

The crowd exploded. Screams. Cheers. Applause. Phones in the air. Someone shouted “Finally!” and another screamed, “I freaking KNEW IT!”

I couldn’t even react—people were hugging me, slapping my back, ruffling my hair. Everything blurred. The only thing I could feel clearly was the warmth of Jace’s hand pulling me gently through the chaos.

When we reached a quiet corner behind the food stalls, away from the noise, he looked at me with that lopsided grin of his.

“Merry Christmas,” he said softly.

My cheeks were burning. I didn’t care. I squeezed his hand back. “Merry Christmas, Jace.”

At first, I thought I’d have to come up with some kind of explanation for my little sister. I didn’t even know how to start—how to deal with what happened that afternoon without it spiraling out of control. I had no clue how to keep her from getting the wrong idea, especially after Jace blurted out that he loved me over the mic like that. I didn’t want her to know. I was scared it’d get back to our parents. And don’t even get me started on Jace’s ex, who just so happened to be Lila’s friend.

I spent almost the entire evening trying to figure out how to talk to Lila. But in the end, she was the one who walked up to me with a wide grin and said something I never saw coming.

“Don’t make that face. I already knew, duh!”

“Y-You already knew what?”

Lila rolled her eyes. “That you and Jace have been a thing, obviously. Anyone who’s not blind could see it. But don’t worry. Mom and Dad probably don’t know, and I’m not telling them either.”

“Wait, see what?” I was still processing.

“Oh my God, people have been talking about it for ages. I could tell just from the way you look at Jace all the time. And that photo and video of you kissing his cheek? It’s all over Instagram now. And that clip of Jace on stage too. By tomorrow, the whole school’s gonna know. Maybe even the whole internet,” she snorted.

“Hey, I’m being serious! Why the hell was I the only one who didn’t know about this...?!”

“Didn’t know? Or didn’t want to?” She rolled her eyes again, even harder.

“What about Jace’s girlfriend then? Aren’t you mad at me, Lila?”

“Ex-girlfriend,” she corrected. “Don’t worry about her. She’s ancient history. You should worry more about yourself. Your boyfriend’s waiting over there. I’m off—see you at home!” She jogged off a few steps, then spun back around. “Oh! One more thing. If you don’t want Mom and Dad finding out, then I’m keeping the teddy bear!”

And with that, she ran off to join her friends.

“How’d it go? What did Lila say?” Jace walked up and plopped down next to me, handing me a bottle of water.

“She asked for my house keys… and the teddy bear.”

“You mean the bear? Just give it to her. It’s fine. I knew it—you’re not really the plushie type anyway. More tough guy than softie,” he teased.

We sat quietly for a while. The sun was starting to slip behind the horizon, casting gold across the campus lawn. A breeze rolled in, and I instinctively crossed my arms, tugging my jacket tighter.

“Cold?” Jace scooted closer until our arms brushed.

“Lila said earlier the photo of me kissing your cheek is going around… and that video of you—”

“It’s fine,” Jace cut in, smiling softly.

“Aren’t you worried it’ll spread?”

“If I was scared, I wouldn’t have done it. Let them see. We're not celebrities. We're just some random guys. We’re graduating soon. I don’t care anymore. My confession? It’s gonna go down as a school legend. Watch.”

“You’re such a shameless idiot.”

“What about you? Are you scared? What if it goes viral—beyond Elkwood?”

I thought about it. “No… I don’t think I’d care. Not from strangers. Not from people who don’t know me.” Well, at least that's what I wanted to believe.

Jace beamed. “Today was the happiest day of my life. What about you? Were you happy?”

“It was nice… but exhausting.”

“Exhausting? Then how about we call it a night?”

“Whose night?”

“Yours, obviously. I’ll drop you off. Didn’t Lila just steal your bike keys?”

“How are we supposed to haul this bear back?”

I glanced at the oversized teddy bear slumped beside us.

“We’ve done three people on a bike before. Two guys and a soft bear? Piece of cake.” Jace stood up and held out a hand. “C’mon. Let’s grab a bite first, then head back.”

I looked at his hand for a second, then grabbed it and stood.

Later that evening, after a quick stop at a drive-thru burger joint, we got back to my place. I left the bear in Lila’s room, then came downstairs to find Jace waiting by his moped.

When I saw his face again, my heart tightened. That question—this one question I’d been avoiding—had been lodged in my chest all day. I could feel it pressing in now, harder than ever.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “You look kind of down.”

“Me? Nah. Probably just tired.”

And I was. It wasn’t a lie. I’d worked since morning, gone through an emotional rollercoaster in the afternoon, and my body was running on fumes. But more than that… there was this hollow ache, because I knew—whether today had been a dream or real—it had to end somehow.

“Jace…”

“Yeah?”

“What… what are we, exactly?”

His smile dimmed. For a second, neither of us said anything. Then he handed me a helmet and nodded toward the seat behind him.

“Let’s go for a ride.”

“Where?”

“Somewhere quiet.”

“Where’s that?”

He paused. “Let’s go up the mountain.”

About thirty minutes later, we pulled into the state park trailhead just past the edge of Elkwood Valley. It was nearly pitch black. He parked and took my hand, guiding us toward a fallen log in the clearing. He never let go.

We leaned into each other, bundled against the wind. The air was freezing—probably close to the 30s. But somehow, it didn’t feel unbearable. The cold, the quiet, the dark—it all settled into a kind of calm. I think the thing that grounded me most… was his warmth.

“Eli…” Jace finally broke the silence. “I love you. You know that, right?”

“Yeah… I know.”

“I always have. I just… the timing…”

“I get it.”

“If I didn’t have you, I don’t think I’d know how to go on.”

“Jace…” His words hit something raw in me. Because I knew—soon—we wouldn’t have this anymore.

“But I still don’t know what you feel,” he added.

“Don’t act like you don’t know. You do, don’t you?”

“I just want to hear it once. For real. So I know.”

I took a breath. “I love you too… Jace. I love you so much… it hurts.”

“I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s just… how my heart works. And honestly? It’s the happiest kind of pain I’ve ever known.”

“Do you think… people who love each other have to always end up together?”

I thought for a moment. “Probably not. But being together sure makes the world feel a lot more complete.”

“You’re probably right.”

“Hey, Jace,” I turned to him, “why now?”

He looked down. “Because I was scared. Just like you. Scared I’d be wrong. Scared I’d lose you.”

“If we’d figured it out sooner… been braver sooner… Now there’s only a couple of months left before we all scatter.”

I hugged my knees. “I’m scared, Jace. I love you. I want to be your boyfriend. And now that I know you love me too… I want to be with you more than anything. God… why does it hurt so much?” I couldn’t stop my voice from shaking. “It hurts more to love someone knowing you’ll lose them than to love them in silence.”

“I know, Eli…” He pulled me into a hug. “I feel the same.”

“Just thinking about not seeing your face every day anymore… not hearing your dumb jokes, not sitting in your lap or sleeping beside you… It already hurts like hell. I love you, Jace. But I guess we can’t be boyfriends now, right? It’s too late, isn’t it?”

He didn’t answer.

“Eli… if you had to choose between staying like this—just friends who know they love each other—or being a couple for a short while, even knowing we might break apart later… which would you choose?”

“You make it sound like breaking up is a given.”

“Even couples who live in the same town break up. What about us, going to different colleges, living in different states? Not being able to hug, to hold hands. It's quite hard for me. But if we stay friends… we’ll always have each other, forever. No cheating, no fading feelings. Just love, in a way that lasts.”

“I… I don’t know.”

“What would you choose, Eli?”

“I don’t want to choose.”

“Eli…”

I lowered my eyes, then whispered into the darkness, “If I could choose…”

I clenched my fists. “I want to love you. And I want you to love me.”

I sounded like an idiot.

“I want us to love each other for a long time. That’s all I know.”

“And we do,” he said. “Right now.”

I nodded. Jace held me for a long time after that. We didn’t say anything else. Eventually, we drove back.

That night, he stayed over. We talked until the sky turned pink—about how I’d watched him in secret since middle school, and how he realized he had real feelings for me junior year. We told each other everything. Then, just as the sun came up, we finally fell asleep.

When I woke up on Saturday, the bed beside me was empty. I went downstairs. Mom said he’d left about an hour earlier. His scooter was gone too.

I walked back to my room and saw the space where he had slept.

And I cried.

Not loudly—just a soft kind of ache leaking from my chest.

When the tears stopped, I noticed a note on my nightstand.

In Jace’s handwriting, it said simply:

“I’ve loved you for so long. And I always will.”

I smiled and tucked it into my wallet.

Later that day, I met up with Jace and our friends. And when our eyes met, we both smiled.

There was a dull ache in my chest… but I was happy.

Because now, I knew how deeply he loved me.

I had already made my choice—to hold dear every moment we still had. If I could love him in silence all those years, then surely I could love him now… just as quietly, just as deeply, without needing to call him mine.

Because love, for me, was never about keeping.

It was about being.

Like a warm cup of Ovaltine—gently cradled in the same chipped mug—its comfort lingering, so long as you hold it close.