Breakdown - 27. 25 Closing The Noose

Gabriel took Cam out for dinner. Cam had protested, since he had been the one to ask, but Gabriel was firm. He said that regardless of the financial situation, it was just wrong to make a student buy him dinner. Gabriel’s smile had been the final nail in the coffin of Cam’s argument… it was just so hard to argue with that.

Cam was excited. He hadn’t been on a date in years. Even the swelling promise of another Craving didn’t deter his genuinely happy mood. He got dressed with a smile on his face; tight jeans and a black shirt, accompanied by a smart suede jacket that he had purchased earlier that week for just such an occasion. He didn’t know where Gabriel was taking him; he just knew that he had to be in front of his apartment at 7:30PM.

He kept his hands in his pockets to keep them from fidgeting. He practically leapt down the stairs at the appointed hour, glancing immediately down the street for Gabriel’s car. He was disappointed that Gabriel wasn’t there, but he was still five minutes early. Cam leaned against one of the lampposts, glancing down the dark and shining street.

The sodium lights of the city were familiar and comforting. Cam could almost imagine himself back home, waiting for a john. The only difference was the intense excitement that was skittering under his diaphragm, making it difficult to take a deep, cool breath. A soft pang rang through Cam’s mind when he thought about home. He missed his friends, specifically Jared.

Should he call him? How would that conversation go? He couldn’t tell him where he’d gone, and he knew that Jared would ask. Maybe it was best to just let it all go, and really leave everything behind…

Jared was a drug dealer, after all. Wasn’t that part of a past that he was desperately trying to leave behind?

Cam shook himself and glanced back down the street. Headlights caught his attention and he stood up a little straighter. Much to his delight, it was Gabriel that pulled up beside him. Cam leaned over and looked in the window, waving with two fingers. Something about this was vaguely reminiscent of his days on the job, but he shrugged it off and hopped into the car.

“Evening, beautiful,” Cam greeted. Gabriel laughed.

“I’ve got the perfect place to take you,” Gabriel said at the end of his chuckle. “Considering we had a botched attempt at Italian last time.”

“Botched?” Cam asked, buckling up his seat belt. “I thought the pizza was quite good.”

“It wasn’t Italian,” Gabriel replied.

“Maybe not.”

“I’m taking you for real pasta,” he said. “There’s this great mom and pop place. They’re usually not very busy, so it should be pretty nice and private.”

Cam flushed a little, looking out the window. “I’d like that.”

“How are you feeling, Cam?” Gabriel asked, driving slowly down the busy street.

Cam leaned back in the seat, looking out the window. At length, he looked over at Gabriel, who’s attention was focused straight ahead on the road. “Do you want the honest answer, or the cliché answer?”

“Honesty is the best policy,” he replied, glancing at him.

Cam took a deep breath and blew it out slowly, his cheeks puffing a little as he did so. “I’m strung out a little. It’s awful. I’ve never had anything like this. Back in Chicago, when I was on shit and going to class… I don’t know how I did it. I think I got out just in the nick of time, before something really bad happened.” He paused. “I’m pretty sure it would have been the end of me if I hadn’t gotten out of there quick.”

Gabriel nodded. “Drugs have a way of devouring your life,” he answered honestly.

“Especially what I was into,” Cam whispered. He looked down at his hands. The sudden image of Derek on the street popped into his mind, and he shoved it away as he looked back out the window. How could someone be so cruel, killing someone slowly like that…?

Aziel was insane. That was the only answer. He had absolutely no regard for human life.

“I don’t really get it, Cam,” Gabriel said. “You seem like such a nice person. I have a hard time thinking of you as a druggie.”

Cam laughed a little, queerly amused by his own pain. “I don’t really get it either,” Cam answered. “Life’s funny with what it throws at you sometimes.”

Gabriel nodded, smiling to himself. “Yes, it really is.”

Cam looked over at him, turning slightly in his seat to appreciate the other’s profile. “Okay, so you know a horrible dark secret about me, what about one from you?”

Gabriel glanced over again. “Hm? About me? Like what?”

Cam thought a moment, rubbing his chin with two fingers. He smiled, his green eyes glittering. The lights of the city streamed over the car like yellow tears as they proceeded down the road.

“Why are you teaching at an Outreach type thing?” he asked. “There’s got to be better jobs that pay more money.”

Gabriel shrugged a little, stopping the car at a red light. He ran his hand over the stick shift thoughtfully. “I disagree with that,” he said. “There’s a lot of things about my job that are incredibly rewarding. I see a lot of bad cases come in, but we can help them. Some of them are people that everyone has given up on. But they want to better themselves. And they do.”

Cam nodded a little, and Gabriel continued after resuming the drive on the green light.

“I guess I like seeing the good side of things,” he said. “I like seeing that these people, who may have made some really stupid mistakes when they were in high school, come together. I like seeing them take pride in what they’re doing. Makes me believe the system works, you know?”

Cameron laughed, his forehead clunking against the window. The cool glass felt good against his warm forehead. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

“That and I’ve been there myself,” he said quietly.

Cam picked up his head. “Hm?”

Gabriel just nodded a little. “I made some mistakes in high school. I dropped out in the eleventh grade. Just didn’t want to do it anymore. Stupidest thing I ever did. It was hard to get my life back on track, but this great man, Gary Perkins was his name, got me back on track.” He glanced at Cam. “He was like a father to me, in a lot of ways. Made sure I got my homework in, told me to make him proud.” He smiled fondly. “I always hoped that I finally did make him proud.”

“Does he still teach?” Cam asked.

Gabriel shook his head. “He passed away two years ago.”

“I’m sorry,” Cam replied, feeling a little sheepish for his question.

Gabriel smiled a sad smile, shaking his head. “Don’t be sorry, it was his time to go. The man was old, and his health was failing. Death was more a release than a crime.” He sighed heavily. “He was a very good man. He helped a lot of kids like me. I think more than half of the people at his funeral were kids like me.”

Cam smiled at the thought.

“And with that uplifting thought, we’re here,” Gabriel said. He pulled into a small parking lot. He parked beside a hulking, skewed SUV that glittered like a dark star in the lot. Gabriel raised his eyebrow at it, grumbling something about SUV drivers not being able to park properly.

Cam fell into step beside Gabriel as they started to walk across the parking lot. Cam felt their fingers brush, the tips of their fingers lingering together pensively for a moment before pulling away. They glanced at each other, each smiling a little. They paused in their step, and then resumed without a word.

Cam, his heart hammering in his chest, snagged Gabriel’s fingers with purpose this time, capturing them in his own and holding his hand. Gabriel glanced at him, smiling in kind.

The little shop was perfect for a date. There were few tables in the crouched restaurant, each dark wood with red and white checked tablecloths. Only a few of the tables could seat more than two, and those were pushed out towards the window. The small, two-seater tables were held deeper in the restaurant, as if to gives those diners the priority of seclusion. There were elaborate, garishly painted wooden bas-reliefs that showed a variety of portly chefs preparing embellished pasta. It smelled of garlic and onions, tomatoes and oregano.

A beautiful woman approached them when they entered, and seated them towards the back. She offered them the thick, leather-bound menus and their drink order. Cam was staggered at the prices that he saw; it was going to be at least $40 a head for them to eat!

“This place is expensive,” he commented.

“It’s very much worth it,” Gabriel replied. They had parted contact to sit at the table. Cam’s hand felt a little empty without Gabriel’s to hold. Cam found himself gazing across the top of his menu at the silver line of the other’s half-rimmed glasses. Gabriel was intent on the menu, not noticing Cam’s scrutiny.

“You shouldn’t have brought me here,” Cam said softly. He smiled when he said it, more flattered than anything else.

Gabriel looked up, meeting Cam’s smile. “I wanted to treat you,” he said softly. He set his menu flat, one hand falling to rest beside it, palm down. Cam leapt at the chance for further contact with Gabriel, slipping his smooth fingers over the back of Gabriel’s hand.

“Thank you,” Cam said softly.

“I could say the same,” Gabriel said. “It’s been forever since I’ve been on a date.”

Cam laughed. “It’s been a long time since I’ve found someone that I actually wanted to date,” he said. “I guess I’m just glad you’re interested in men.”

Gabriel laughed. “Yeah, you caught on to that pretty quick. I was starting to wonder if I was becoming overly flamboyant.”

They both laughed at that. Their laughter dissipated with the arrival of the waitress, who took their orders. Cam had barely looked at his menu; he just picked the first thing his eyes fell upon that looked good. Gabriel’s fingers were warm in his. It felt good. It felt like he was starting a normal life. No more streets, no more fear.

Was he really free?

The thought made his heart speed up. It had been months; maybe he really had given Aziel the slip. After all, wouldn’t he have come for him by now? Maybe, Cam thought, he wasn’t worth investing a lot of time to search for. He didn’t care. Now, with this new life ahead of him, the possibilities were endless.

“Be my boyfriend,” Cam said. The words sprung from his mouth unbidden, but he didn’t regret them. They sounded good, felt good, against his tongue.

Gabriel smiled. “I would love to,” he replied.

Aziel’s smooth features were illuminated in the light of his computer monitor. His fingers flew over the keyboard, clicking softly. It was well past midnight, and Aziel hadn’t bothered to turn on a lamp on his desk. He wore a soft frown of concentration as he searched through endless records.

Mark was watching him from the doorway in only his PJ pants. They were black pants with yellow Batman symbols all over them; Aziel had given him them for Christmas last year. While Aziel did not understand Mark’s preoccupation with the caped crusader, he didn’t protest it.

“Aziel,” Mark said softly. He was tired-looking.

Aziel’s gaze snapped up. His fingers stopped cold on the keyboard. There was a long moment of silence, and then Aziel slowly closed down some of the windows that he had been working on. He had saved his progress, he could always finish tomorrow. He looked back to Mark, who was now coming around the desk.

“You should come to bed,” Mark said softly. He leaned down and kissed the top of Aziel’s head. “You look grumpy, and I know what a grumpy Aziel needs.”

Aziel grunted.

Mark’s warm arms wrapped around Aziel’s neck. Aziel consented, although silently, that this was indeed better than looking through the endless screens that his hacking programs had produced for him. When Aziel didn’t rise from his chair, Mark tried again.

“Come to bed, Azzy, please?” he asked. He put his lips against Aziel’s temple.

Aziel sighed and nodded, looping one arm around Mark.

“Tackling the problem tomorrow,” Mark said, “With a fresh mind will make it seem better.” He kissed his temple softly and pulled him up out of his chair.

Aziel smiled a little and rose with him. “You’re probably right.”

There was always tomorrow.