Breakdown - 28. 26 Flow

Another month passed…

Cam could hardly believe that he had finally graduated grade 12. With his high school degree in hand and still more than enough money in his bank account to continue on, Cam was left feeling like he was standing in a large room that was composed of nothing but doors. He could go anywhere he wanted, do anything he wanted. He’d already started to look into various college requirements, thinking that he would get himself a technical degree and maybe start working with computer software.

Even the Cravings, dark and ugly as they were, were lessening their fury. Cam had been free of them for at least two weeks now.

Of course, he attributed most of that to the fact that Gabriel was very intent on distracting him.

Cam lay on the bed of his little old lady apartment. It was starting to look less and less like a little old lady apartment; he’d taken out the doilies and gotten himself some more masculine, comfortable furniture. A brown suede recliner and love seat had replaced the dusty rose couch and rigid armchair. He had gotten himself a new TV stand, too, as well as a decently sized new TV. Most of these things had been bought with the interest money that Cam had earned while he was feverishly in school.

He was starting to feel like a new person.

Cam turned his head and looked over at the snarl of dark hair that lay beside him. Gabriel, his glasses off, had his eyes tightly closed and his face relaxed into sleep. Cam looked at him fondly, affectionately running his hand over the naked thigh that was draped across his hips. Cam thought of Gabriel as the epiphany of his new life here, the apex of everything that he had done right up to this point.

The room was silent, save for the dull buzz of traffic below the bedroom window. Cam was alone with his thoughts, letting them run over the events that had happened since he had escaped from Aziel’s clutches.

He’d been so careful. He’d left red herrings. He’d finished what Aziel had set him on the road to do, and probably exceeded the assassin’s expectations. Cam was coming to understand what Aziel was about, mostly through his own introspection.

Cam was less than Aziel. Aziel didn’t see him as an opponent, but an object that was to be toyed with and molded. Whatever his reasons for the drugs and the slow decay of his experiment, Cam knew he could never understand. No one but Aziel could understand those heinous motivations. And Cam, honestly, never bothered to try to pick them apart. Instead, what he reflected on was the fact that he had somehow done something right, and Aziel had let him go.

Cam was entirely sure that if Aziel had wanted to find him, he would have done so already. His time with Gabriel had forced him to understand that he wasn’t the brightest light bulb in the box, and that he couldn’t have thought of every avenue that Aziel could have tracked him down on.

Despite his misgivings and feelings that Aziel could find him if he truly wanted to, Cam felt no fear. He looked at the peaceful expression of his new lover, felt the softness of his thighs and believed that everything in the world was all right, if just for now.

Cam leaned over and kissed the tip of Gabriel’s nose. Gabriel’s brown wrinkled, and his eyes fluttered open. Cam knew that this close, Gabriel would be able to focus on him. His expression was one of mild confusion and curiosity.

“Morning, love,” Cam said softly, pressing the flat of both palms to Gabriel’s thigh.

“Is it really morning?” Gabriel asked softly, peering at Cam’s face, particularly his mouth, with interest.

“Yeah,” Cam said. “Unfortunately. Good thing it’s Saturday.”

Gabriel smiled and nodded. “I think I saw 3AM roll around on the clock,” he replied. Slowly, he wrapped himself more firmly around Cam’s body, and Cam chuckled.

“It was a good night, though?” Cam asked.

“Time entirely well spent,” Gabriel agreed with a nod. “I couldn’t think of where I’d rather be right now. Except, maybe, getting coffee.”

Cam snorted a laugh. This resulted in a short-lived tussle of pride that resulted in both of them laughing and too tangled in the sheets to move very far. When the two men had finally regained their composure, they picked themselves out of the sweaty sheets and lay on top of them, flesh against flesh. The lust was gone for now, replaced by a comfortable sense of fulfillment and peace.

“You haven’t told me much about yourself before you came here,” Gabriel said abruptly. Cam flinched when the words were spoken, feeling the peace inside of him start to shatter. Gabriel was always intent when he brought up this subject, and had so far let Cam get away with sidestepping the question. However, something in the tone of Gabriel’s voice told Cam that he’d had enough games. They had come this far, and it was time for Gabriel to get some answers regarding Cam’s origins.

Cam sighed and rearranged himself on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. He didn’t know where to start, exactly, so he decided to start right at the beginning, when he had left high school. He cast a sideways glance at Gabriel, finding him wide-eyed and intent.

“Do you really want to hear this story?” Cam said after a moment, obviously just stalling.

“Yes, Cam,” Gabriel whispered.

“It’s not a good story,” Cam started. “There’s a lot of things that happened that I’m not proud of.”

“We all have those,” Gabriel said.

Cam sighed, and took a deep breath. “Alright, but you have to promise that you won’t think any less of me for this.”

“I’ll only think more of you, for having the courage to face it,” he replied.

Cam found that equally corny and comforting, and he snorted another laugh. Relaxing back into the pillows, he shifted his weight and prepared himself for the long haul.

“Back when I was in grade 10, I was sort of just a punk… I didn’t have any direction in life and I was sure that school wasn’t going to give me that direction,” Cam said. “I didn’t do well at school either. The only class I really liked was English, and even then, only when I could write whatever I wanted.”

“You like creative writing?” Gabriel asked.

“Yeah, I did,” Cam said.

Gabriel nodded. “Interesting, that surprises me.”

Cam looked affronted, and turned to face Gabriel. “What does that mean?” he asked. “You don’t think I’d be good at it?”

Gabriel shrugged. “Not at all. I just can’t really see you sitting down, and writing a story at a computer. I saw you as more of the jocky type, for some reason.” He shrugged again. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

Cam still was a little bothered by that conclusion, but he let it go. “Um, okay…” He paused a moment and found his determination to continue with his story again. “Anyway, I dropped out. Because I dropped out, I got kicked out of the house. I didn’t have a great family life, and I don’t really want to get into that.”

Gabriel nodded that this was fine.

“I started working downtown, mostly just doing some errands for some people that needed errands run by a kid,” he said. “Not the most savory types of people, and I’m actually not really sure how I got into it.” He paused here, as if trying to remember. “Anyway, it’s not important. I got into some gang stuff.” A long pause.

“And?” Gabriel asked.

Cam didn’t know how to word it delicately, so he just blurted it out. “I was a prostitute.”

Gabriel was quiet at that revelation. Cam had almost expected him to yell, and this silence was worse. He glanced over at him, and then cleared his throat, hoping to goad the other into speaking. When Gabriel still said nothing, he continued with his story.

“I worked under this one guy for a long time, and things were going pretty good.” Cam hesitated here. Despite the fact that he felt the freedom from Aziel’s grasp, something deep inside of him told him that he should not tell Gabriel about Aziel. It wasn’t necessary. “Then I got into some drugs, and things got bad. So I saved up some money and ran, never looking back.”

Gabriel remained quiet for a moment longer, and then nodded a little. “Wow.” He looked up at him. “Did you realize that what you’ve done is one of the hardest things in the world to do? You pulled yourself out of a pretty deep gutter, Cam, and you did it with almost no help from anyone else. Most people would have folded from the job alone, let alone getting yourself hooked on something.”

Cam swallowed nervously, not sure where Gabriel was going with this.

“Honestly,” he said, “I expected something like this. I didn’t really expect that you were a prostitute…” He trailed off and seemed uncomfortable with that.

“I got myself tested,” Cam said quietly. “I don’t have anything.”

Gabriel smiled a little and laughed. “Thanks.”

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I’ll understand if that means you don’t want to be with me anymore.” He’d understand, maybe, but he’d be hurt. Deeply. Cam held his breath while he waited for Gabriel to formulate his answer. There was a soft twitch between Gabriel’s eyebrows as he thought about his answer.

“No,” Gabriel eventually said. “I don’t think I’ll leave.” He smiled at him, his eyes glittering. “What you’ve been through shows incredible strength of character. I’d be crazy if I thought I could find someone better.”

Cam smiled at that, genuinely happy. He quickly folded his arms around Gabriel’s shoulders, nearly hugging the breath out of the man. Gabriel fought him off, laughing a little as he did so.

“I like to breathe!” he cried.

Cameron laughed until he felt hot tears stream down his cheeks. The tears were those of relief, happiness, and joy. And there was, as far as Cam concerned, no better reason in the world to be happy right now.

Mark was at work, and Aziel had the penthouse to himself. He was sitting in his study, perched on the edge of his leather chair. His black hair hung over his shoulders, his blue eyes flicking between the two computer monitors that glared balefully at him from the desk. His fingers flew over the keyboard, tapping in various codes and combinations. Each window that opened, he closed with only a flicker of irritation passing over his features.

He had been working on these records for a long time now. Due to several computer problems, a job he couldn’t ignore, and spending time with Mark, he’d put himself behind schedule on his hunt for his little lost experiment.

It didn’t matter, really, for Aziel’s experiment wasn’t on any kind of schedule. In fact, it was going to be more interesting the longer that he waited; lulling Cameron into a false sense of security just meant that he was more likely to make a mistake. Add in the fact that the pull of the drug was probably waning in his system…

Of course, Aziel didn’t need him to make a mistake. Ultimately, it was more fun if Cameron didn’t make any mistakes. Then Aziel could find him and resume the experiment, all while tightening the noose and making Cam realize that no matter where he ran, he was not beyond Aziel’s reach.

The next window popped up. It had the basic registration information for a man that had registered in an Outreach program in Minneapolis. Instead of the flicker of irritation, there was a flicker of life in those cold, blue eyes. Slowly, Aziel leaned back from his monitors, his fingers sliding off of the keyboard and onto the desk. He stared at his computer monitor for a while. Slowly, a smile turned up the very corners of his mouth.

“There you are.”