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RIP - Comicality
    Celethiel
  • Celethiel
  • Author
  • 04/16/2013
  • 122 Words
  • 605 Views
  • 10 Comments
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

The Whispering - 2. Seeing the Lad

Seeing the Lad
By J.A. Oshio

The little sparks
They tell me my sins
Circling like sharks
Each with razor fins

I am alone
And I am the last
And I cannot atone
Even though I asked

We made our choices
But they get in your head
With babbling voices
That fills you with dread

One by one
To each they spoke
Now I run
From what we woke

I may go mad
While I claw at the dark
Seeing the lad
And where I left my mark

Nothing but a hoe
I should not care
About what I owe
This isn’t fair

I have a son
Oh please let me go
Oh what have I done?!
Oh please god no!

Copyright © 2013 Celethiel; All Rights Reserved.
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

joann414

I did not quite grasp this one as well as the first, but that does not mean anything. I have those moments :lmao: But thanx for sharing!

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Celethiel
On 04/20/2013 03:45 AM, joann414 said:
I did not quite grasp this one as well as the first, but that does not mean anything. I have those moments :lmao: But thanx for sharing!
you're welcome ^_^ I must say you grasped it better then some other people I know.
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comicfan

hoe? Were you stretching to make that rhyme. It seems like a father trapped here but not exactly sure. Interesting poem none the less.

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Celethiel
On 04/20/2013 06:33 AM, carringtonrj said:
You experiment with words in interesting ways. Thanks for sharing.
um thanx, not sure if that's a good or bad thing.
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Celethiel
On 04/20/2013 07:56 AM, comicfan said:
hoe? Were you stretching to make that rhyme. It seems like a father trapped here but not exactly sure. Interesting poem none the less.
no actually I wasn't...

The "father" beat up/abused the guy in the previous chapter and thought of him as a hoe... it's well connected and explained in the next chapter I Hope :)

I wanted them to connect together into a story.

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Celethiel
On 04/20/2013 08:36 AM, W_L said:
Sounds well, but not sure if the details work my little elf
are you still sure after the third one?
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Yettie One

In a way I felt like I was in the hunger games as I was reading this. :P

That was till I got to the end, then I guess like Wayne I was wondering if it was about someone who's just realised that he's a dad, and maybe don't deserve to be one!

:/

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Celethiel
On 04/20/2013 09:52 AM, Yettie One said:
In a way I felt like I was in the hunger games as I was reading this. :P

That was till I got to the end, then I guess like Wayne I was wondering if it was about someone who's just realised that he's a dad, and maybe don't deserve to be one!

:/

I wanted a sense of fear and of confusion in this...

Like the person being spoken of doesn't quite understand why he's being punished and yet he is...

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