The Last Laugh - 2. Tuesday, February 18, 2025

Not half as rested as I would have liked, I entered the office the next morning. Josy was there busy with some files and winced when I greeted her.

“Oh, hey Violet.” Her warm smile thawed the effect of her glacier blue eyes. “I put the test results in Catherine's file.”

“Anything helpful?” I wanted to know.

Sighing, she shook her head and brushed a strand of hair from her forehead. “No. There was DNA under her fingernails, male, but there's no match. All the other swabs and samples are negative or say the same as for the other girls.” So basically nothing.

Chewing on my lip, I nodded. It wasn't fair that such young women were just ripped from life like that. I would have given a finger for one of them to ask me out.

Then I looked up. “Hmm?”

Josy smiled wryly. “I just said Simon has some theory about the makeup.”

“Brainstorming?”

I hadn't heard Harry come in and flinched when he suddenly spoke. “Morning.”

“Morning.” He grinned, for succeeding in startling me. “I'll call the others.”

A few minutes later, Simon, Nico and Jonah also arrived in our office, with Nico and Jonah giving the impression of having slept little to nothing.

“Good morning,” Harry began the meeting seriously. “We have five bodies and hardly any clues to find the first serial killer in the history of this city. So welcome to the brainstorming session.” Harry and his previous partner had started having meetings like this long before I'd come here two years ago. Many might think it odd to include the lab staff and technicians, but by God, it was helpful.

No one said anything until Josy nudged Simon.

“Yeah, well, I've been thinking about it,” he grumbled, pushing a dark red strand which had slipped out of his messy man-bun behind his ear. “About the make-up. The t.s.s. drugstore chain has a very strict schedule when it comes to its limited editions and specials. The Christmas stuff, for example, is only available from the first of December to the fourteenth of January, whether in store or online.”

“Unless we missed a body,” Josy picked up the thread, ”the first find is from February second. Nina Matthews. Either way, there's some time between the purchase of the utensils and the act of killing itself.”

“Well, it was Christmas,” Jonah interjected, frowning. “If the perp ordered the clown clothes online, it's quite possible the delivery was delayed because of the Christmas season shoppings.”

“Or maybe they didn't have the right opportunity to strike,” I replied.

“They are definitely methodical," Simon said with a nod. “Meticulous. We've found practically nothing.”

“There's no such thing as the perfect crime,” Jonah and Harry said almost simultaneously.

“That's not what I'm saying.” Simon crossed his thin arms in front of his slender chest. “Just that they might have spent a lot of time planning.”

“But then they kill so quickly one after the other?" I furrowed my brow doubtfully.

There was a thoughtful pause.

“Maybe they wanted it done," Josy said slowly, but doubtfully.

“You mean: theory, practice, next project?” Nico looked as if he liked the idea and Josy nodded.

“Yeah, why not?”

“Hmm.” Harry made a face.

“Why don't you share your Andrew Tate idea with us?” I suggested, smiling as his grimace deepened.

“Oh God, what's Andrew Tate got to do with it?” Josy wanted to know in horror.

Growling quietly, Harry rolled his eyes in my direction. “Thank you, Violet. My idea was the perp is one of those silly Andrew Tate alpha-male fans. He dates these women-”

“And kills them because- what?” interrupted Nico critically.

“Because they don't laugh at his jokes, maybe,” Harry replied, shrugging half-heartedly.

“Or maybe because they called him a clown for making too many jokes,” Josy murmured thoughtfully.

“Guys, the girls are all really pretty, seriously, but there's no comparison visually,” Jonah objected. “Three white, one Asian, one of color. Who has such a wide range of taste in women?”

“Not everyone is superficial,” I remarked sourly.

“Trust me,” Nico grimaced in Jonah's direction, ”there are plenty of men who will take what they can get.” I wouldn't have categorized Nico as that desperate, especially since he was a good-looking guy - at least in my lesbian eyes - but I admittedly didn't know much about the others' personal lives.

“As if I didn't know,” Jonah replied dryly. He himself, as an overweight Afro-American nerd, probably didn't have a high success rate either.

Josy sighed. “Before we start crying to each other about how bad our chances are... I think Harry's approach is good.”

“A good-looking nerd. They do exist.” Simon scoffed and became serious again. “But perhaps not only well prepared, methodical, but also shy.”

“You mean he does score dates with women, but they're really bad-” I continued.

“- and then he seeks advice and comfort -” Harry added thoughtfully.

“- and he ends up in a toxic community.” Nico also carried the thought further.

“He radicalizes, gets triggered and concocts a murderous plan.” Simon nodded.

“And humiliates the women with the clown outfit, just like they humiliated him before. According to his feelings, at least,” Josy finished.

“God...” Jonah muttered, almost disgusted, and rubbed his face.

“But that doesn't happen overnight,” Harry objected.

“No,” I agreed. “And it means we have to extend our search backwards in time, well beyond the standard six months.”

Nico and Jonah groaned, Simon gave them an almost smug grin.

“Good.” Harry nodded and rubbed his hands together. “Thanks for the input, everybody. Keep up the good work. I'll go see Brick and discuss it.”

~

After Harry had returned from the conversation with Lieutenant Brick, it actually took less than an hour for Nico to burst into the office, a thick stack in his hands. “I've found it!” he grinned broadly. “The connection between the girls.”

“Nico, hero of the day.” Harry looked as relieved as I felt.

“Spit it out! What is it?”

“A phone number.”

“Come on, give us everything.” I punctuated my words with a prompting gesture and Nico's grin turned a little dirty for a heartbeat or two.

“Calls from said number went in and out between June ‘23 and August ’23.” He held the stack out to Harry. “The number belongs to an office at the media college.”

“Media college?” Harry echoed, puzzled, and I frowned.

“That's it?”

Nico raised a brow. “Really, Violet?”

“I'm just saying, only ‘office at the media college’ isn't usually your kind of research,” I returned, noticing sullenly how defensive I sounded. “Besides, none of the girls have ever been enrolled at the media college.”

“That's all I could find,” Nico replied snottily and Harry sighed.

“Take it easy, yeah? That's more than we had this morning. Violet and I will pay a visit to the college administration and you focus on this period as far as posts and such from the girls are concerned.”

~

The tiny office, where we finally found ourselves after some back and forth, reeked of e-cigarettes and the older woman sitting at the desk reluctantly lifted her eyes from her e-reader. “We don't give out information to parents.”

Did I really look old enough to have a college-aged kid? That hurt.

But Harry shook his head and pulled out his badge, and I did the same. “Detectives Gregory and DeLaney, ma'am. We need information on one of the college offices.”

The woman raised a brow, but her critical, condescending look was clearly diminished by the uncertainly open hanging mouth. “Okay...?”

I held out a note with the corresponding number. “This number belongs to one of the offices here at the media college. Who works there?”

“Oh, well, just a moment...” As slowly and concentrated as she was using the mouse and keyboard, she was probably only sitting here because someone had to sit in this administrative office.

Harry and I exchanged a glance and I suppressed a sigh.

“This is one of the project offices,” she finally said. “They're rented out to students for projects.”

“Who was the office rented by between June and August 2023?” Harry asked, and she blinked slowly before turning back to the screen.

The wheel of the mouse clattered audibly. “Robert Durham.”

“Can you print this out for us, ma'am?” I asked kindly. “Along with information on how we can reach Mr. Durham?”

She looked overwhelmed, but nodded.

It took a while. We waited. The printer rattled and spat out something, but the woman without a name tag continued to work with great concentration.

“Is there a problem?” Harry asked patiently at one point.

“No. Yes. Well...” She laughed uneasily. “Under the student number, there's a Robert Durham registered in the system and then a Gianna Durham as well. I've printed everything out for you, but I don't know if that can be right...”

I refrained from commenting on the fact that name changes do happen, while Harry took the printouts.

“That's okay, we'll find out what the student's real name is. Thank you, ma'am.”

She smiled tensely.

In the corridor, as the door clicked shut behind us, we both sighed.

“At least,” I forced myself to smile, ”another step forward.”

“About time.” Harry looked uncomfortable. “Brick was pushing. Green wants to go public. Or rather, has to. Some parents have been pressuring.”

~

One, according to Harry, confusing phone call with a male-voiced Gianna Durham later, we made our way to a Shared Space office. There, in a comparatively large cubicle, we were greeted by Gianna. Biologically very obviously a man - besides the voice, there was also a well-groomed beard - but with a long dark wig and women's clothes on an angular body. “How can I help you, detectives?” they wanted to know, knotting their fingers together.

“It's about your project from summer 2023.” Since they hadn't given us a proper form of address, I decided to leave it out rather than put my foot in my mouth.

“Ah. The killer clowns.” Gianna nodded with wide eyes.

“Ugh...” Harry made an uncomfortable sound.

I ignored him. “What kind of project was that?”

“My graduation project. Feminist horror.” Gianna smiled uncertainly, their knotted fingers turning white. “Five women disguised as clowns murdering their unfaithful husbands.”

Licking my lips, I nodded, then pulled out the representative photos of the victims. “Were they these young women by any chance?”

“Ah, yes. Winnie and Louisa and Catherine and... uh... sorry, I forgot the other two names.”

“Nina and Amanda,” Harry prompted.

“Right.”

“So these five were the killer clowns in your movie?” I asked.

“Yes.” Gianna nodded. “What's it about?”

“All five were found dead. The only connection we've come up with is this project.”

At my words, Gianna turned white as a sheet. “Oh my God.” A hand flew to their mouth. “But... why?”

“That's one of the questions we need to sort out,” Harry said quietly. “Did you publish your graduation project somewhere?”

Gianna nodded slowly. “My supervising professor, Arthur Fowler, works with the Blue Star Cinema. They have a horror night twice a month. My movie has been shown there several times, along with other short movies, after my work was approved.”

“With the usual credits and the like?”

Another nod.

“Were there any posts on social media about it?”

Another nod. “All our actors were allowed to post photos with the appropriate tags.”

“And the reactions?” I took over again. “Anything out of the ordinary?”

Gianna shrugged a shoulder at first. “The usual, I guess. Sexist, racist, anti-queer, everything. But nothing that's particularly memorable.”

“Did you keep in touch with any of the girls?”

“With Louisa for a while. That's how I know that she and one of the guys we had as husbands, and also Winnie and one of the guys, each dated for a while. But he must have had a problem with her being bi. But after that, we lost touch. I actually wanted to ask her if she would do it again, this time with a small fee.” Gianna's eyes became moist and they turned away to look for a tissue.

My gaze lingered on the photo of Louisa. Bi. It was even more of a shame that she was dead than it already was.

“I can give you the movie on DVD if you need that...” Gianna then offered. “And I can look through the old posts and comments, even though we deleted all the hate ones.”

“That's both very nice and helpful, thank you.”

~

“Killer clowns? Oh God yes!” Josy beamed at me and I got a little tingly.

“Oh God no.” Simon grimaced. “But while you're here, Violet, Brick was looking for Harry.”

I nodded. “I'll tell him.” Then I turned back to Josy. “I knew you'd like the idea. Harry's going pale at the thought, but I need someone to watch the movie with.”

“Purely professional, of course, for the case research.” Josy winked at me.

“Of course.” My smile slipped a little. Was Josy aware of the effect she was having on me? Probably not.

“Ah, here you are.” Nico appeared behind me in the doorway and nodded at me. “We've been looking at the posts about the movie project in particular and we're still on it, but the girls have been monitoring their comments well. Two didn't leave even the slightest criticism.”

Simon snorted in the background.

“Understandable, but not helpful.” I sighed. “Okay, apart from the deleted comments, is there anything noticeably positive?”

Nico looked puzzled for a moment, then frowned. “No, I don't think so. Jonah has discovered a few loose connections between the friends, but nothing that would link the girls themselves.”

I nodded. My gaze drifted of its own accord to Josy, who looked over at us, half worried, half critical.

“We should watch the movie,” Nico said thoughtfully.

“I'm in, I said right away,” Josy blurted out enthusiastically and I had to chuckle.

“We got the DVD. Over at tech? You have the best hardware.”

Nico grinned. “Of course. Killer clowns are always welcome.”

~

“That takes our dating theory off the table,” Harry sighed. Once again we sat in the office for a brainstorming session.

“Lasted quite a while,” Simon sighed.

“The clown costume makes sense now,” I said slowly, ”more or less, at least. I mean, I guess it's obvious that the murders are closely related to the movie.”

“Yeah, but how?” Josy rubbed the bridge of her nose.

“Did anyone not like their performance? I thought it was great,” Jonah remarked almost cheerfully.

“I doubt it was that,” Harry replied dryly. He and Simon hadn't watched the movie with us, but both found our summary more than adequate.

“The movie was open to the public,” Nico began. “So there's a wide range of possible suspects. I'm going to check with Jonah about everyone else involved in the project, but to be honest, I don't have much hope it'll help.”

“You never know.” I gave him a wry smile and a shrug.

There was silence for a moment, then Josy looked at Harry with a deep frown. “Maybe your theory isn't so bad after all. The perp might have an objection to women taking power in the relationship, so to speak, and punishing their husbands for a trifle like cheating.”

“The perp really needs a reality check in that case.” Jonah muttered dryly.

“Many men like Andrew Tate would have needed one many years ago,” I replied no less dryly.

“Maybe the perp is also a big OnlyFans enthusiast,” Nico threw into the room without much hope. “After all, the movie husbands all have sex with an OnlyFans model and the movie wives are furious that it has to be someone like that.”

“I don't understand the hype about this site anyway,” Harry said, shaking his head. “All you have to do on the internet is turn off the parental control filter and you'll find anything. There's probably more porn than a man can watch in a lifetime.”

“But are there sexy blondes in clown-style lingerie?” I asked, wiggling my eyebrows. “There's something appealing about Clowndia.”

Harry grimaced, Simon sighed, the others laughed.

And then Simon grunted a thoughtful “Hmmm.”

“Hmm?” Josy returned, amused.

“Maybe it's simply a lover of the classic clown,” Simon replied seriously. “You know, the melancholic, clumsy character from the circus who is supposed to make people laugh.”

“I find nothing, absolutely nothing funny about clowns. They're creepy,” Harry replied with a slight shudder and Simon shrugged.

“Not a fan either. But media culture has made them into that. The clown from the Simpsons. IT. There are dozens of others.”

“Yeah, but why these ones? Killer clowns are everywhere,” Nico wanted to know, but Simon just shrugged again.

“Because they're within reach,” Harry said quietly.

“Then are the actress of this Clowndia and Gianna Durham in danger too?” Josy asked before I could.

“We should definitely make sure they know about the possibility.” Harry nodded to the group, we nodded back, then he cracked his knuckles. “Okay everyone, one more hour of effort, phone calls and research and then call it a day. Brick wants to grill me before his press announcement.”

~

One phone call later, however, I was standing in an office next to the morgue, looking down critically and questioningly at Peggy, who looked up at me contritely, a stack of papers in her hands.

“God, I feel like I've failed,” she finally said uneasily.

“Did you miss something?” I asked cautiously. Normally, Peggy's magical sniffer nose is incomparably good...

With her mouth open, she made a helpless gesture. “Doc Stone made a comment about the hit to the back of the head and what Dust said about the magic crumbs...” Again she searched for words.

Waiting, I raised an eyebrow, but then asked, “Does the theory about the killer being magicless still stand?”

Peggy nodded, almost enthusiastically. “Yes, oh yes. I examined the swellings again, magically, I mean, and found a pattern.”

“Please don't let me pull everything out of your nose.”

“Like the Egyptians did the brain- uh, no.” She cleared her throat sheepishly. “The patterns are very faint, but extremely similar. I'd say someone used a magic launcher, either one with multiple charges, or they have someone on hand who can recharge the thing directly.”

“Magic launchers are forbidden, but unfortunately they're easier to make than I'd like,” I grumbled. Even a child could probably convert a toy gun into a magic launcher if they had the will and a little intelligence.

Peggy nodded. “Unfortunately, yes. The force of the impact triggers the body's natural defensive response and the residual magic is absorbed and or discharged and the victims have lived long enough for the last vestiges of magic to dissipate by the time the body was found.”

“On top of that, the magic is already altered by the launcher anyway, so it's hard- if not impossible- to trace it back to the mage, I know.” Sighing, I nodded. “Which means, in combination with what Dust said about the magic crumbs, the culprit is definitely not a mage. Well.”

Peggy shrugged apologetically. “I wish I'd noticed it sooner, but... No, actually, there's no excuse. I wasn't thorough enough.” She hung her head and shoulders, looking even smaller than she already was.

“Hey...” I put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. “We all have a bad day sometimes.”

“Five times?” She sniffled. As often as I found her morbid humor unpleasant, I preferred it to her depression.

“Yeah, that too.” I nodded and squeezed her shoulder. “We all have good days and bad days, Peggy, and sometimes the will to find something really does blur our vision.”

And as she nodded with another completely uncharacteristic sniffle, I wondered if that wasn't how we all fared on this case.