GFD 04: The Beauty And The Darkness - 5. Chapter 5

Chad led me around more dark corners and twists and turns that I had never seen before. I began to wonder if we were walking in circles, or if my mind was too busy trying to redesign its whole concept of truth and reality, as his conversation destroyed one barrier of comfort after another. "Hmmm...so...what is Comicality? Really."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...like...is he a 'perfect' vampire?" I asked.

"There is no such thing as far as I know. In the most ancient of scriptures, the idea of a 'perfect' vampire is kinda like the gates of Heaven in modern religion. It's an ideology based on a need for growth and harmony. It's a goal that we are all supposedly trying to achieve. To make us love one another, and share our gifts. It was something for us to strive for as a society, to keep us on a path of peace." I saw his face screw up a bit, "But like everything else, the whole idea got fucked up somewhere along the way. People thinking they can find 'loopholes' in every message. People thinking that they can 'steal' what they need to reach the ultimate level of awareness. People struggling to be the strongest and the fastest and better than everyone else, so they can rule the world and have whatever they want, wheneverthey want. Without consequence. Or effort. Or sacrifice of any kind. But it wasn't supposed to BE that way. The vampire scriptures were written as a guide for finding peace and tranquility within ourselves and within the people around us. Nowadays, most vampires just use the scriptures to justify hate and prejudice in our society. They just use it to gain power over other people, to judge them and make them feel like less of a person for not following their particular vision of right and wrong. I suppose if you look at them long enough...you can make the scriptures say anything you want them to."

"I guess I haven't had the chance to really read through these scriptures yet." I said.

"Give it a try once in a while. There really are some beautiful messages inside, if you read the passages with love in your heart. Otherwise, they're just words. The senseless ramblings of old dead vampires that obviously wasted their time."

The further we walked, the fewer people I saw around us on the street. It seemed as though society itself was thinning out, and darker streets became more common. I kept talking, "So...when did Comicality tell you that you were one of the chosen?" I asked.

"He didn't."

"But...but I thought..."

"Comicality doesn't choose anyone. It's not like he has a big list like Santa Claus and starts picking out the people he thinks are the elite of society. I talked to him, he talked to me, we became friends. That's it. Me being one of the 'chosen' came from coincidences between the scripture's prophecies and my life. It's the vampires on the streets who see me as being some kind of special entity. So they believe that he favors me over everyone else. But in reality, he'd probably be happy to talk to any one of them. I guess we just 'vibed' somehow."

"I heard he hasn't spoken to anyone in ages."

"He speaks to people every single day. Maybe not the people in your immediate circle, but it's not like he vanishes out of existence just because he's not talking to you directly. He can't magically appear every time somebody snaps their fingers, but I guess he's supposedly there in spirit. I, myself, haven't heard from him in months. But he'll be there if I need him, and I'll do the same. He can only be in one place at a time, and he has a lot of places to be."

"I'm confused. I mean, isn't he..."

"He's a vampire, just like you, just like me. He has to feed, he gets scared, he has guilt, he has feelings, he bleeds just like the rest of us." Chad said, turning another corner.

"What I heard, is that he's much more than that."

"What you heard, was the vampire equivalent of beauty salon gossip. The only reason he has a following was because of the scriptures. Comicality began writing a long time ago, adding onto vampire scriptures that people had been ignoring for a long time. He was only doing it to give a new perspective, a new outlook on something that we as a species had been missing out on. A lot of vampires do that. They all write from their hearts, and hope that the passages they add to our culture will somehow live on, and bring us closer together. He's just one of many so-called 'prophets' who decided to speak their mind. Nothing more."

"So...the 'legend' of Comicality...isn't true?"

"Look...he cares, ok? People have problems. He listened to one person, and that turned into ten people, and that turned into one hundred and fifty people, and so forth and so on. He doesn't HAVE all of the answers. But he's willing to listen, and he's willing to care. Unfortunately, it seems that there are so few vampires around who are willing to do the same these days...that anyone who attempts to help out gets drowned in problems that they can't even understand, much less cure overnight. So the writers of these new millennium scriptures usually go underground. They help who they can, when they can, and they continue to each give their own unique principles to our society. But not a single one of them can help 'everybody'. They can only teach us how to help 'ourselves'. The sad thing is that nobody seems to really be willing to help themselves, and just move from vampire to vampire, leaning on them and looking for someone to save us all. Comicality doesn't believe that it's ever going to happen, but try telling the rest of them that. Com may have an impressive reputation after the rumors and all get through flying back and forth...but he's not a saint, and he's not a miracle worker, and he's certainly not legendary, by any means. He's just a friend. So when you meet him, don't expect anything more than that." Chad must have seen a strange look on my face. "Confused? Or disappointed?"

"I don't know, to be honest." I replied. "I mean, I know it sounds selfish, but I had kind of expected this guy to be some kind of 'mystic' or something. I was hoping he would be able to help me find the answers."

"Sometimes, dude...just having someone to talk to IS the way to find the answers." Chad said, and walked further ahead of me. He crawled underneath a fence, and motioned for me to follow him. When I reached the other side, I found myself standing at the edge of a graveyard. I hated these kind of places, graveyards, hospitals, the morgue...ALL of them. I REALLY did. 'Fear of death'...arrrgh! Damn Becca and Char for being able to analyze me so well. Now I could feel myself making the same mistakes everywhere I went. Chad kneeled down in front of me, and drew a small diagram on a scrap of paper. Then I saw him turn it over and scribble something on the back before finishing the drawing. "Ok...you walk straight ahead, take a sharp right at plot 32. Keep walking until you get to plot 24, take another sharp right, and walk to plot 20." He said, handing me a map.

"Then what?"

"Then...you walk back to plot 32 again. And you wait." And with that, Chad started to climb back under the fence.

"WAIT! Wait for what?" I asked.

"Don't worry. You'll know it when you see it. I don't want to spoil it for ya. It's SO cool the first time! Later. It's been real." And then he was gone. Before I even had a chance to thank him. I hope he was right about this.

I felt a shiver crawl up my spine as I began to walk forward. Something about graveyards always made me so uneasy. I was afraid to speak, or to even breathe too loud. I could feel the crisp blades of grass rustle under my feet with every step. I kept my eyes directed downward, careful not to step on anyone's eternal resting place. I quietly made my way to plot 32, just as Chad instructed me to. I took a sharp right turn at the tombstone, and could clearly see the next point on the map. I walked in a straight line to reach the marker, and turned to see the next one. It looked like a triangle of some sort. I walked back to my starting point...plot 32...and froze. I didn't know whether I should shut my eyes, or leave them open. I held my breath, listening to the sounds around me, waiting for the sky to burst into flames, or for the ground to fall from beneath my feet. It was a tense moment. One of complete silence. I waited...and after about five minutes, I began to relax a bit. Maybe I did something wrong. Maybe I should try walking around the plot marks again.

I held up the map that Chad had given me. The ink seemed to have faded away a bit, so I held it up to the light. That's when I saw the note written on the back of the piece of paper he gave me. I turned it over, and read what he had written.

Sorry dude,
You seem like a nice enough guy and all. And I'll be sure to pass that along to Comsie when I see him next. Don't hate me for the trick map. Just please understand that his location is secret for a reason. You can't even fathom the consequences of him being discovered. I'll let him know you're one of the good guys, I promise. Once again, I'm sorry.

Best of luck,
Chad

ARRRRGH!!!!! That little son of a BITCH!!! HE DITCHED ME!!! He took off and left me hanging here with NOTHING!!! I was almost ready to scream up at the sky for being such a sucker and letting the little punk get away from me...but what good would it do? He was probably miles away from me by now, and even if I had the slightest chance of finding him, I was really too battered, bruised, and tired from chasing him the FIRST time to try to go after him again. I suppose that it was fair. He beat me. And I was going to have to give up eventually and move on. But at least that boy brought me a little bit closer to finding what I wanted, and knowing that the answer is out there. As mad and hurt as I was that he was out of my reach by now...I suppose a part of me was extremely thankful for helping me realize that.

I crumpled up the piece of paper, and threw it over my shoulder. Dawn would be approaching in the next two hours or so, and I needed to get back. I must say, it was a good game. Geez...I wonder how many other people Chad has put through this. And all that talking that we did...I wondered if any of it was real. Somehow, I doubted that he would lie to me about most of that stuff. It seemed too genuine. And...if what he says is true, then 'Comicality' doesn't sound like the kind of vampire who would rip me to shreds just to protect some age old prophecy or keep our species from being exposed. Who knows? Maybe he's a good guy. Maybe he'll be able to help me after all. Somehow, I doubt, that I had anything to worry about. Chad wouldn't set me up in some elaborate plot to get torn to shreds...I don't think.

As for Comicality, even though I couldn't SEE him, I had a feeling that he was there. That he was watching. And that he cared. I hope that's not just some crazy fantasy that I'm making up in my head. I don't know what I believe, or WANT to believe. I suppose I'll just have to wait until it's my time, and then I'll find out what all the hype was about. All I knew was that I had to find a way home quickly before the rapidly approaching sunrise put me to sleep and I was stuck out here without shelter. I'm not sure what happens if I'm exposed to daylight, but I've seen plenty of movies, and I'm sure that it's not pleasant at all. I don't look forward to finding out the hard way.

As I walked away from the graveyard, climbing the fence and figuring my way back home, I felt the darkness around me close in, and captivate my very soul. It seemed as though the wind developed a chill that froze me down to the bone. And it made me feel...ghost like. Like I wasn't really there. Like all of this was some weird prophecy being fulfilled in the exact same way as it had been predicted years ago. It's not really a feeling that I can accept, or explain...but it's definitely one that I experienced. Was it another side effect of my first feeding? Was it a part of my extra kicking in? Or was it my mind warning me of danger? It was creepy. Like the feeling you get when you feel yourself being stared at when walking down a dark alley all alone at night. Caution or confidence...the choice of which emotion to use was so easy to pick from until that moment. Still I kept walking.

And so Justin walked away...leaving the 'sacred' spot in which he was standing, and began his journey home. Unaware of the swirling mist of shadows that appeared behind him, just out of his sight. A swirl that silently increased in intensity until it eventually solidified, becoming humanoid in its form and shape. A dark opaque mist that seemed to move fluidly as if in constant turmoil. The figure stepped forward with a hiss, and eventually opened its eyes. The pupils were completely gone, and what was left...were two swirling masses of red, green, and gold. The creature, over 6 feet tall standing up, felt its fangs drop viciously from underneath its gums. The claws were drawn, razor sharp, able to easily rip a body a shreds with little to no effort. The shadows rose up from the ground itself to guard it, to mask it from anyone watching, and it began to move. Silently gliding across the ground so easily, that at full speeds, there is no way that Justin would have a prayer of outrunning it. He couldn't hear it coming, his senses weren't strong enough to detect it. And as the creature came closer up behind him, ready to envelop him in the darkness, it knew exactly what it had to do. It has to be this way...for the good of vampires everywhere.

Now...

The TRUE horror begins!

So many thoughts have been going through my mind lately. It's almost impossible to balance them all out. It's such a wonderful and scary thing to see Justin just now going through his vampire adolescence. Experiencing the same fears and joys of this life the same way that I did. And he FED!!! He finally depleted his first donor! It's unfortunate that it had to be a victim of the thirst instead of someone that he could choose himself. But he satisfied his hunger at last, and as his body adapts to our side, he'll become one of us at last. I can tell that it still bothers him, and probably will for years to come. My first time still haunts me every now and then. I'll never forget that night...having to murder those people while Trevor sat back and laughed. I don't even want to think about it.

Justin is almost ready to learn the truth. We can't protect him forever. But we've learned to break people into this world a little at the time. Too much at once can make them dangerous. They become so overwhelmed with the horror of losing control over their options from their life, that it corrupts them. That's how we lost Dennis. And he's still out there somewhere...watching us, knowing everything about us, and possibly waiting to make his return. Last I heard, he had gathered a group of scavengers to fight for him. A gang that was growing more in numbers every night. Still, even though I know he's gone a different way, I still miss having him here with the rest of us. Justin isn't ready for all the information we're going to give him. And if he ever finds out what Bryson has been up to, we're all going to have a problem on our hands. I want to talk to him, and someday I'll tell him everything. But not now. It's for his PROTECTION, whether he likes it or not. I hope he'll be able to forgive me for all this someday. He has so much to learn about himself first, we can't fill him up with details about the rest of us. That will come later.

One thing that's been bugging me lately is Trevor's involvement with Justin. What has he been telling him. About me? About us? All those years ago, I was looking for a way out, any way out. Trevor was an infatuation that hit me hard and fast...and should have ultimately been left alone. Blond bombshell, indeed. Just seeing Justin every night when I wake up, is more powerful than any feeling that Trevor could possibly hope to bring out of me. And if I wasn't stuck in this teenage body, I would probably have the security of knowing, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that Justin felt the same. I guess my hormones are destined to stay this way for good. Suits me just fine.

He's been keeping to himself a lot more lately, and that's beginning to worry me. More secrets. I know that he loves me, but the question is, does he 'trust' me? Does he trust anybody? He's been making trips to see Tim, talking to Pan about Comicality, and there were a couple of times when he got away from us. Where he's been gone for hours without anyone knowing where he is or what he's doing. Like now. He went to see Tim, and now he's missing. It'll be dawn in a little over an hour. Oh God, please let him make it home in time. His love is all I've got left. After the life I've lived, and the pain that I suffered, please don't take Justin away from me.

I love him too much to say goodbye.

G'night.

- Taryn