GFD 05: Mask of Shadows - 5. Chapter 5

I held Jenna a little bit closer and gave her a comforting squeeze. Just a little something to let her know that I really appreciated the fact that she told me a little more about herself. It had been quite a while now since I had been adopted into their little family, and I was just now beginning to understand them on a deeper level. They were finally starting to loosen up around me, and stopped being so guarded about their past. It made me wonder if I'd become the same way after being in darkness as long as they have. Someday looking at my life as though it belonged to someone else entirely. It already seems kind of distant when compared to the days I've spent with Taryn at the lot.

Then, I felt Jenna shiver violently and then laugh outloud. It startled me a bit, and I loosened my embrace to see what had happened. I saw tears streaming down from her eyes, and she seemed to be morphing back and forth from laughing and crying in her facial expressions. "What? What did I do?" I asked confused.

"Hehehe...nothing. I'm sorry." She wiped the tears away and smiled at me. She was still trembling a little, and couldn't seem to stop the waterworks. "Don't look so shocked. I'm fine."

"Are...are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure." She reached in her pocket and pulled out some kleenex to clean up with. After watching her in silence for a few moments, she decided to give me a bit more info. "I'm an empath, Justin. My extra allows me to feel what other people are feeling, and make them feel what I'm feeling too, if I want. I can channel it and direct it pretty easily, but it still happens to get away from me every once in a while. It can be a little hard to control if I'm not concentrating. So I guess it makes me extremely oversensitive about a lot of things, I always have been. But I felt your sentiment just now, and that's sooo sweet. Thank you. Even if my reaction was intensified by like...a thousand times what is considered normal."

"Oh...ok..." I said, still a bit lost and wondering if I should touch her again or not. Now that I thought about it, she did have a tendency to get overly happy or emotional over some of the simple things, but I figured that it was just her personality.

She looked over at my face after a quiet pause and saw the confusion in my eyes. I didn't know what to do or not do, so I just kinda froze for a moment. Then she laughed at me, "Hahaha! Would you STOP already! I told you, I'm fine. You look like you're expecting me to lay an egg or something." Her giggles were contagious, and I laughed along with her.

"I'm sorry...hehehe, I guess it just kinda caught me by surprise is all."

"Yeah well, that makes two of us. I'm getting a better grip on my feelings the more I practice. I've still got a lot of blind spots that I have to work out, but I'm learning little tricks here and there. As a matter of fact, using my extra was the only way I got Kid to come to me in the first place. It would have taken him months to trust me on his own when he first arrived...so I 'cheated' a bit." She stood up from the table and took one long inhalation of the wonderful scents pouring out of the hot dog joint. "You know, I'm almost tempted to do what Max does when he has a taste for something like this."

"What's that?"

"He buys it, chews it up for the flavor, and then spits it right back out. Our stomachs won't digest anything anymore, but at least he gets to TASTE it. However, I somehow don't think that would be very 'lady-like', hehehe." Jenna said, pushing her silky blond hair back out of her eyes.

I leaned forward and whispered, "I won't tell, princess."

She giggled and helped me up to my feet. "So, you got any big plans for the rest of the night?"

"Well...not really. I haven't been sleeping so well lately. I thought maybe I'd just hang out at the lot tonight. How about you?"

"Nothing on the agenda for a 'homebody' like me." She smiled. "Wanna walk back together?"

"Sure." Jenna and I shared bits and pieces of our lives as we walked back to the lot, a bit of mine, a bit of hers...mostly good times. Even though I hadn't had that many in life, I DID have my moments. But I noticed that she always looked back on her life in daylight as something...I don't know...kinda bland, colorless. It was as if she just didn't care for it all that much. But whenever she talked about the lot or one of her experiences since she crossed over, her eyes would light up, and a feeling of joy would creep into her voice and her hand gestures. She really did like this life better than her old one. It made her feel good, free, and important, and loved...it was the perfect answer for her and she loved every minute of it. Even when she was feeding, I'd assume.

We got back about a half hour later, and the first person I ran into was Trevor. He greeted us with his ever charming, yet sinister, smile, and as always I did my best to avoid it. He looked at me, gently tapping his finger against his temple, letting me know that I was still 'required' to teach him once my abilities began coming into full bloom. But as far as he knew, I was only a reader, not a mimic. He had no idea what he was getting into, and what's worse...neither did I. Even Jenna was having trouble controlling her abilities and that was after exploration and practice. How did he expect me to be any better? I didn't even know HOW to 'practice'. Much less teach anyone to do what even I don't know how to do. I suppose I'll learn over time, whether I want to or not.

Jenna and I split up when Bryson called her over to his truck to talk. And as I walked through the lot, I saw Dylan on his knees in front of his makeshift altar, praying as always to a lit candle. After all he's been through, it still baffles me as to how his faith could stay so strong. Even after his own religion had cursed him, shit on him, called him a faggot, and had beaten him down into the dust with his own beliefs...his faith remained. I couldn't help but respect the kid for knowing the difference between the word of God, and the judgements of the self righteous fanatics preaching it. If I still believed, I might be kneeling beside him.

I walked over to Dion, who had taken his usual spot way up on top of a stack of cars. I climbed my way up to sit down beside him for a while. I looked down to see Napolean lapping up what could only be human blood out of a doggie dish on the ground. But it was cold blood, not fresh. I don't know how I could tell from so far away...but I could sense it. Smell it. My body was becoming used to the life it was leading, and whether I knew it or not, I was becoming more comfortable with my vampire instincts every minute. It was growing inside me, and suddenly things that I didn't understand or even think that I'd be able to grasp without weeks of training from the others...I was doing on my own. And everything became as automatic as breathing. My body knew what it wanted, and all the denial and moral babble and self loathing in the world wasn't going to change that. I knew at one point that I was gay, and now I'm learning another hard fact about myself, that's all. Fuck the world if they try to make either one of those thirsts 'my fault'.

I watched as Napolean finished his meal, and made his way up to join us on top of the cars. The first thng he did, was go up to lick my face. "Aughhh...Napolean! No!" I said, a combination of blood and dog spit now covering one of my cheeks.

Dion laughed. "I think he likes ya, dude."

"Yeah, well why can't he like me from over THERE?" I said, pushing him away to keep from getting another tongue bath. "I don't need him to lick me all over...that's what I've got Taryn for."

"Hehehehe...Napolean, come here, boy." Dion patted his leg and the dog walked over happily to snuggle up to him at his side. Dion petted him tenderly, and while doing so, he lifted up parts of his fur that showed some scarring and gashes from his 'accident' long ago. I knew that some of the others, especially Max, gave Dion a hard time about the dog every once in a while, but he didn't seem to mind. That pooch meant a lot to him, and I guess that finding him on the side of the road after being hit by a car was one of the best things that could have ever happened to him.

"Why doesn't he ever heal?" I asked.

"What? Oh that? I don't know really. When it comes to any kind of illness or injury, crossovers seem to be pretty unpredictable. Take Doc, for example...his accident happened before his body had fully adapted to it's new form. So his legs never healed. Then again, I've heard stories of people knocking on death's door, and having a full recovery once they've been bitten. Napolean's scars healed up a lot over time, but not a hundred percent. Still...he's ok. Doesn't feel a thing. Do ya boy?" Dion pressed his nose against Napolean's and rubbed it back and forth lovingly.

"Has anyone ever died during a crossover?"

"Well, there have been some serious cases where that has happened. Where some of the human bodies have rejected the toxins that change them over. Or maybe some that were too close to death to be saved in time. Then...there are others still that actually do make the crossover but are forced to live with their illnesses and wounds forever. It really is a tough call to make sometimes. I just happened to get lucky with my pal here. But it's never a guaranteed cure for anything."

"Oh...I see." I looked back down at the dog's scars, and saw that they, indeed, had been healed an awful lot...just not all the way. And he was alive. Alive and happy. Brought back from an untimely death, and all with Dion's bite. So that they could be...'friends'. His heart reached out...and he saved him. I thought about it seriously for a second. Actually, I guess I had been thinking about it for weeks now, and was too afraid to let the idea come into my mind for too long for fear that I might act on it. Still...it had been a haunting urge that stayed with me, invading my mind all night long, and now in my dreams. There was no escaping it, and it couldn't hurt to ask. Just ask. After a short quiet spell I said, "So...what if somebody was sick? Like really sick. And he was turned into one of us. I mean...there's a chance that he could get better, right? Just a chance?" I asked as plainly as possible, but deep down, my mind wandered back to an old friend. Someone that I cared about, someone that I could help if I only knew how. Someone that needed...'saving'.

"I suppose anything is possible. It's like dropping a marble on a spinning plate, you know? Depending on each person's circumstances and mindset, the marble could fling off of the plate in any given direction at any time. It's just the luck of the draw, I guess." Dion shrugged his shoulders, and I was about ready to ask him how we go about 'turning' someone, when we heard shouting in the lot beneath us. We looked over at what was going on, and Gyro was walking out of the lot with his middle finger held high for Trevor to see. They had evidently gotten into it again, and Gyro was now escaping back to the club for his nightly romp of fun and drinks. Trevor was left standing there alone, and a look of rage crossed his face, but it was laced with a heartbreaking pain that I could feel in the pit of my stomach. It was like an ice cold acid that ate away at me inside...the burn of unrequited love. He was really obsessed...I still can't believe it.

Michael walked up to drape his arm over Trevor's shoulder, and he caressed and hugged him in an attempt to make him feel better. But it wasn't doing him a bit of good. In fact, when he leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek, Trevor pushed Michael's arm off of his shoulder and pulled away from him. "Trev...come on. Come to bed, baby. Ok? We don't need him." Michael pleaded.

"Do what you want. I'm going out." Trevor snarled.

"Trevor, please? I love you. I love you so much, can't you see that?" He replied, brushing his hand through Trevor's shiny blond locks. But a look of disgust came over his face.

"Stop!" Michael made another attempt to console him, when Trevor shouted loudly, "STOP!!! What the fuck is the matter with you??? HUH? Lemme alone!" The look on Michael's face said it all, and he just had to turn and walk away. His heart sinking down further and further with every step he took away from the boy he gave his heart to. Rejected and hurt, Michael began walking back to his car to be alone. "Mikey...wait. I'm sorry, ok? Mike...?" But he just kept walking.

As he passed by Dion and me, I could feel a pinch of the pain that he was feeling inside from the humiliation of being shouted at. It was like a block of cement encasing my heart, and it ached deep down where only the most private and cherished feelings reside. The feelings that you would NEVER share with anyone unless you were 100% sure that they wouldn't exploit them. Michael was really hurt by this whole thing, and I'm assuming that it wasn't the first time. It was so sad to see, my heart went out to him for that reason...and that's when something weird happened. The emotions that he was experiencing, that I was experiencing through him, suddenly seemed to double in intensity. Then triple. And it just kept getting stronger and stronger until it was almost unbearable. I felt hot tears flood my eyes and then trickle down my cheeks. My stomach muscles started to squeeze and convulse all on their own. My breathing became short, and I suddenly felt like if I didn't start crying right now, that my head would explode. The tears soaked my face and began dripping onto my shirt. SHIT!!! Getting closer to Jenna tonight must have triggered my body to absorb some of her extra too. The pain I felt inside was stabbing me on all sides, my whole body being overwhelmed with such a feeling of self hate, jealousy, anguish...Michael's love for Trevor intensified to a level of mind numbing misery...oh God! I've gotta get out of here before Dion notices me and thinks I'm freaking out. I looked over and saw Napolean raising his head, obviously aware of my situation. The dog let out a high pitched whimper, and I had to make my move now before he alerted his owner.

"I've gotta go." I said quickly, trying to hide my face and the pain in my voice from him.

"It's just a little spat, Justin. It happens every time Gyro and Trevor get anywhere near each other. It'll pass." Dion said, but I was already climbing down. The tears in my eyes were bubbling up so fast that I couldn't even see straight. I tried not to run into anything as I hurried back to the van and buried my head into the pillow. I began to wail like a banshee, wracking sobs making me weak from the emotion that it drained out of me. My teary fit only lasted about five to ten minutes, and then...in a split second, it was gone. Completely gone. I rolled over onto my back, my pillow soaked from crying so hard, my cheeks flushed and puffy, my stomach sore from being so tight, and I just relaxed as my breathing and all returned to normal. Jesus...that's something that I'm going to have to get control over, and FAST! No wonder Jenna's still having problems keeping that ability under control.

Taryn came in about an hour later to join me. He had been spending more quality time at the lake, and was out to see if he could get some new wraps for Jun's leg. He was healing up nicely, but it would still be a day or two before Jun could walk right again. "Are you turning in early tonight?" He said, and then laid down next to me. "Or are you just looking for some more good lovin'?" He grinned.

"Hehehe...how about a little of both?" He hugged up next to me and I petted his soft hair gently as he lay his head on my chest.

"So what did Tim say about the nightmares?"

I bit my lip a little...still not knowing what I could and couldn't say. But this time, I just told him, "He doesn't think that...the dreams are an accident."

Taryn looked up and stared me in the eye. "Not an accident? You mean...something is causing you to have bad dreams?"

"Or...someone. He doesn't know for sure yet. But...that might be the case..."

"WHY? Who would be messing around in your head like that? Is there any way to find out who?" Taryn was beginning to tense up, and I didn't mean for him to panic.

"Shhhh...don't get all hyper on me. Now look, Tim gave me some tapes to keep this thing from locking on to my brainwaves, and I'll be able to sleep just fine for the next week while Tim works everything out. It'll be fine."

Taryn wasn't convinced. "What do you MEAN it'll all be fine? Dude...sigh...I'm worried about you, Justin. Did you talk to Bryson about this?"

"Not yet. But tomorrow night I'll sit down, and I'll see if Bryson can help me. Ok? I promise." There was a hurt look on Taryn's face, and it was then that I knew that he was feeling the same degree of helplessness that I was feeling in his arms just the night before. And all he could do was embrace me tightly, with both his arms and his legs. "I'll tell him. Maybe Bryson has an idea as to how to help me balance things out a little better. I'm going to try to take your advice, Taryn. I've...I've been locked away for too long. I want to be able to trust you. Completely."

Taryn connected his gaze onto mine, looking as though he were so blessed to have me say those very words to him. And just as he began to tear up, he thanked me and leaned forward to kiss me on the lips. Then he laid his head back down on my chest, his hand rubbing small circles on my stomach. I kissed him tenderly on the top of his head, and we stayed that way, entangled in each other's love, for quite a while. I turned on one of the tapes that Tim gave me, and there was hardly any sound on it. It just sounded like the wind blowing outside. But I had to take his word for it that it would work. It wasn't long before we began rubbing against one another, innocently at first, then with interest, then with passion. And everything was all instinct from there. The love we made that night was incredible. I'm not sure when Jenna's empath ability kicked in, but by the time I climaxed...Taryn's love for me had been magnified by leaps and bounds, and I was somehow able to send it right back to him. We were both screaming and crying by the time our orgasms blasted its way out of us. Taryn and I collapsed on the bed with our eyes wide open, permanent smiles on our faces. I never thought...I never would have believed...that was just...I was speechless. Neither one of us could touch each other until dawn forced us to get under the covers and go to sleep. If THAT'S one of the Tricks that Jenna was talking about...I will DEFINITELY have to find out how to do THAT again! Not only did I feel like I was floating on air, but it kept Taryn giggling and sighing to himself all the way until he went to sleep. He was downright giddy, almost goofy. It was sooo cute to see his smile looking so adorably silly. As soon as we got under the covers, Taryn and I kissed tenderly, our tongues sliding romantically over each other, and we didn't stop until we were both ready to pass out.

Taryn felt the sleep catching a hold of him first, and broke the kiss. "Ok...ok...I'm drifting off. Um...hehe...I love you, k? Seriously...I can't say that enough. It warms my whole body just to say the words and think of you laying next to me."

"Sighhh....me too."

Then he leaned in to kiss me again. "God...mmmm..." He whimpered, really not wanting to go to sleep. I guess I wouldn't either, not after the best sex I ever had. But there was no fightng the sun, and our bodies were already turning cold. "Hold me, Justin. Don't ever let me go."

We reached out for one another, and before long, everything went black. I guess that the tape was working, because the nightmares weren't so severe. But I did have a lingering memory of something in the back of my mind. Me sitting in a dark hospital room, next to Richie in his bed. And that was it...no sound at all, no talking, no action of any kind. Just me sitting there, staring at my best friend...and waiting patiently for him to die. When I woke up, I was a lot more rested, but that image spooked me out. And the idea stayed in my mind. That...and the thought that maybe...just MAYBE...I could help him. 'Save' him. Buds forever.

A loud knocking came to our door, and Taryn and I sat up in our bed. "RISE AND SHINE!" Came a holler from outside. It was Gyro, already up and ready to go out as always. "Come on, lovebirds! I know you're in there!" He screamed.

I got up and opened the door with just my boxers on. "What? What do you want already?" I said.

Gyro smiled at me and said, "Ooooh! Look at you, coming out here looking all sexy and delicious. I swear, you make me want to just mount you and ride you all OVER this metal playground we got here!" I giggled and asked him again what he wanted. "Well...I was going out tonight, and since Trevor has put me on his permanent shitlist, Jun is a temporary invalid, and my beloved sister seems to have stabbed herself repeatedly with a broken bottle this evening...I thought you might like to join me. You can bring your sex slave if you want."

"Screw you, Gyro." Taryn grinned sleepily.

"Sorry, babe! I'm taken." He came into the van and jumped up on the bed with both feet. "Come on 'sunshine'! Let's see some energy, huh? Get up, get up, get up!" Gyro was bouncing on the bed enough to make Taryn sea sick, but he still refused, curling himself up in the covers and holding on to keep Gyro from bouncing him right off onto the floor.

"I can't. Dylan's starving himself again, and Bryson wants me to go out on a hunt with him. Dylan hates to go alone. He'd starve himself half to death before he asked anybody to go." Taryn looked at me, almost as though he wanted me to stay home and have some more 'adventures' under the mattress, but once I heard Bryson call out Taryn's name, and saw Dylan standing next to him, I knew that wasn't going to happen. "You two go. I'll be able to play tomorrow night. Promise."

"I'm gonna hold you to it, sun junkie!" Gyro said, and finally hopped down from the bed. "I guess it's just you and me tonight."

"Not until I get dressed, it isn't." I said, and pointed to the door.

"Well aren't YOU subtle! Ok, alright...I can take a hint. But don't take all night. You know how you girls get when you start trying to get all 'pretty'."

"OUT!!!" Taryn and I shouted at the same time. And with that, he walked back outside.

I shut the door, and locked it. Then, quickly before he could say anything, I walked back to the bed and kissed Taryn savagely on the lips. He moaned in surprise, and I pushed him back, laying on top of him and grinding myself into his young soft body eagerly. I was still on a high from last night, and my whole body tingled for another taste of him. Taryn hugged me up against him, and I felt his legs wrap tightly around my hips, trying to get me even closer. I was already hard as a rock, and I had been looking forward to another go ever since we went to sleep. Taryn's hands traveled down my back to cup my tender young cheeks as I pushed myself into him again and again, my hands gripping the top of the matress, my lips crushed against his. It was turning into just a little less than a wrestling match when Bryson called out for him again, and we heard him walking up to the door. I broke the kiss to straighten up before he came knocking. But Taryn whispered loudly, "No! Don't stop!" He kissed me again. "C'mon...don't stop." I returned to kissing, grinding, humping quickly and passionately to find release before we were thrown out of our paradise for the evening. It was quick, but I could already feel my climax reaching its height, and my whole body began to shiver with it's impending orgasm. I had to stop kissing Taryn, I was driving so fast, and as I raised my head, he began to suck hard on my neck, his legs clasped around my waist to desperately hold on to me. And then...explosion. I whined out loud into Taryn's neck as he moaned in my ear, and we splashed ourselves with our fluids, too eager to stop, to sensitive to keep moving. After hearing Bryson knock on the door to our van, I opened my eyes and my lips searched for Taryn's kiss. The only thing that could keep me from shivering.

"Alright...alright...five more minutes. Geez." Bryson said, walking away from the door. He was never really a nag, but he just had this sense of 'duty' that could be annoying at times. I guess like any other parent. As far as he was concerned, there was 'work' to be done and things to learn and errands to run. Always keeping us busy. Tonight was no exception.

Taryn kissed me breathlessly. "Ok...mmm...I gotta get up." He smiled.

"Awww...poor baby." I grinned.

"You've gotta get up too, ya dork!" Taryn smiled, playfully giving the end of my nose a tap with his fingertip. "You can't go out like this. If you want, you can come with me and get in a quick shower at the mission tonight."

"You mean I get to see Dylan naked???" I giggled.

"If you do so much as PEEK, I'll kill you both!" And with that, Taryn got out of bed. We got some clothes and stuff together, and took Dylan with us to the old place to get cleaned up. I could tell all the way there that Dylan was incredibly nervous, shaking visibly as he moved closer to doing the 'deed' that night. He was in such turmoil over it all, but he must have been getting used to it by now. Still, I don't imagine it would get much easier. When we moved down to the showers of the old place, I saw Taryn smile in my direction as Dylan came in to join us. Naturally...he was wearing swim trunks. Hehehe, I smiled and rolled my eyes at his shyness, but I was impressed with the rest of him that I saw. Not a hair on him, except for two small tufts under his arms. Slim hips, smooth skin stretched over a fine chest for a teenage boy of his size, beautifully long legs with those suckable looking alves on them...he really was damn cute. And he had the tiniest, cutest, nipples that I had ever seen. Dylan's eyes never left the floor the whole time he was there, and whe he reached inside his swimming trunks to clean down there, he turned his back to us completely. I sneaked a few glances though, when he went to rinse off. He pulled down his swimming trunks just enough to expose himself and wash the soap suds away in the front. And when he did, the fabric crept down midway his bubbled cheeks. Ohhh..it was so cute! Hehad the most boyish looking buns I had ever seen, and one cheek had a small beauty mark on the side of it. Awww...I couldn't help but smile. And just when I wasn't expecting it, Taryn snapped a towel at my ass and popped the SHIT out of me!

"YEOWWW!!!" I screamed, hopping around and holding the burning hot stripe that Taryn had just put on my ass cheek! Dylan jumped a bit and quickly yanked his trunks back up to his waist.

Taryn giggled happily as I tried to soothe the pain in my ass. "Hahaha...I TOLD ya! No peeking!"

"Oh, you are going to get it!" I laughed, and he and I tusseld around under the water while Dylan watched from the corner. "And what are YOU looking at?" I said, smiling in Dylan's direction.

His eyes widened, "NOTHING!" But with a grin, Taryn and I began moving towards him, trapping him in the corner. "Come on you guys! Don't!" He whined, but we already had him pinned. I started yanking his trunks down and he squirmed to keep them on, his legs kicking in an attempt to keep himself hidden away. "No no no...I GIVE already! Just don't pull my shorts!" Dylan shouted, but the more we tangled with him, the more his pleas turned into giggles, and then into howling laughter. Then...just as I got the back of his trunks down and his cute little ass was in full view, he spun around throwing us ALL off balance and the three of us went crashing down to the wet shower floor. We rolled back and forth, giggling madly and feeling the warm shower water raining down on us. It was one of the most 'normal' moments that we had spent together in a while, and I loved it.

As we were laying there on the floor, two of us naked, and Dylan in just his swim trunks, another older gentleman walked in and smiled at us. Our mind reading ability must have kicked in automatically for all of us at the same time, because we all got quiet as the guy thought to himself, "Mmmmmm...oh God DAMN, I must be in Heaven!" And we giggled to ourselves, as we hurried up to our feet.

"Hehehe...sorry. We were just on our way out. Sorry." Taryn giggled, pulling me with him. Dylan didn't say anything, he just pointed his shocked eyes to the floor again an blushed a little with a smile as he walked out to catch up to us. We couldn't help but giggle all the way through getting dressed.

As I put on my shirt, Taryn said, "Say, we'll walk over with you to the club, and we can split up from there. Kewl?"

"Oh, I don't want you guys to go out of your way. I'll be fine."

"It's not out of our way. There are good donors not more than a few blocks away from there." Taryn replied.

Then Dylan joined in by saying, "I thought you said we should go to the south Loop tonight?"

"I changed my mind." There was a slight pause, and then Taryn just smiled at me, and there was no more to be said about it. No biggie...I could always use the company.

We walked the streets leading up to the club, our hair still wet but being dried quickly by a cool night wind. And soon arrived at the back door. We all decided to part ways, and that's when I put my hand on Dylan's shoulder and looked him in the eye. "You be careful tonight, ok? Good luck."

"Thanks, Justin." He said under his breath. Dylan tried to look me in the eye, but his gaze was constantly being weighed back down to his feet. Instinct I suppose.

"Besides...nobody with an ass THAT scrumptious should have to worry about ANYTHING!" I said, instantly getting a slug in the shoulder from Taryn. Dylan giggled a bit to himself, turning an even deeper shade of red. Then...unexpectedly...he walked up and hugged me. Tightly.

"I'll see you later." He said, and turned to walk away before I could say anything that might make him even more timid.

Taryn smiled and gave me a good night kiss before trotting off behind him. Dylan was such a sweet boy, it's hard to imagine that delicate angel devouring anybody to quench his thirst. I wonder if that makes him less dangerous...or more. If nothing else, he has the element of surprise on his side. That's for sure.

Bernie gave me the usual hassle at the door before predictably letting me into the club, and this time...people actually spoke to me. It was "Hey Justin!" and "How are you, Justin?" and "Justin! My man! Good to see ya!" all the way. People who weren't much more than a few familiar faces, some weren't even THAT much. But they knew me, and they were happy to see me. It was great. I saw Gyro sitting at the bar, licking salt off of some woman's thigh before throwing his head back to take a shot. How he could down that stuff without even making a face was beyond me. He must have just had plenty of practice. I walked over to him, and he grinned wide when he saw me.

"JUSTIN! I was starting think you wouldn't show, loverboy!" He smiled, stumbling a bit.

"Looks like you started the party without me." I said.

"The party never STOPS dude. We just check out and check back in later. That's all." He pulled me over to a table in a quiet corner to talk for a while. He offered me another drink, but I already knew better. Not after the toxic shit he gave me last time. But it didn't matter to him either way, the club was packed even more than usual and the party was in full swing. The music was pounding energy into me with every thump of the bass, and the whole building seemed to just overflow with exciting vibrations from corner to corner. The cocktail brought over a tray and gave Gyro something sweet to drink, and he thanked her with a nice little tip. Then he took a sip and motioned for me to lean closer, a wicked smile spreading across his face. "You're never gonna believe this dude!"

"What's up?"

"I found an old connection in the club tonight. She owes me a huge favor, and she has got some pull in the big vampire club circuit, you know? Anyway...I went over to talk to her for a while, had some drinks, danced a bit...and she blessed me...with THESE..." He said, spreading out a handful of what looked like silver and blue invitations.

"What are those?" I asked.

"THESE, my friend, are gifts from God!" He grinned, and took another sip of his drink. He handed one to me, and I read it outloud.

"You have been cordially invited to take part in the festivities of a very special celebration at the IceZone dance club. INVITATION ONLY! Sunset until Sunrise, sanctuary available on the grounds, blood buffet included." I handed the card back to him. "Cool, so we're going to a party?" I asked.

Gyro's mouth dropped open. "A PARTY??? A PARTY???"

"Did I read it wrong?" I asked.

"DUDE!!! This is NOT just a 'party'...this is like being invited to Mount Olympus! Do you have any IDEA how hard it is to get into the IceZone? It's one of the biggest, the best, most awesomely decorated party palaces in the whole vampire circuit! It's like a thousand 'Studio 54's' put together! Only the elite get a chance to even know the location of the place, much less get in! And now...you and me are going! And we're taking the whole troop with us. Even Trevor." He giggled. I evidenly had no idea how special these tickets were, but anything that could make Gyro glow like that after all the partying he's done in the short amount of time that I knew him...this must be something spectacular.

"Hehehe...I'm there!" I said.

"WOO HOO!!! Damn skippy you are!" And Gyro gave me a high five, his excitement blazing even brighter than before. "All I've got to do now is get Rain to go."

"I take it she's not a party person?" I asked.

"Not when it comes to me, she isn't." Gyro smiled weakly, but it was fake. Then he took a hefty gulp from his drink and left it alone.

"Can I ask you something?" I said.

"Here we go..." Gyro rolled his eyes and took another sip.

"I'm not trying to pry, don't worry. I'm just...I'm wondering why you two have so many conflicts. I mean, it's been days and you two have hardly said a word to each other."

"We're warming up. She can be kinda hard to talk to. Especially when she's shouting how much she hates me."

"She doesn't hate you dude. She's just a loner, that's all." I tried to explain on her behalf, but to be honest, I didn't know Rain all that well myself. Taryn was one of the only people she ever talked to long enough to share anything with. I suppose she chose him to know her secrets, and she was closed to everyone else.

"Sigh...whatever." Gyro finished his glass, and pushed the glass to the edge of the table. "You know, she's just so damn stubborn, that's all. I did what I did for HER. It's not like I planned on crossing over or anything." I looked confused, and he explained. "Rain was...somewhat of a 'problem child' at home. I mean, between her and my parents there was always SOME kind of argument going on. And when she shaved off half of her hair and started with the whole goth thing...my mom nearly went through the roof. I was only 11 at the time, so I didn't know what to do. I just figured that they hated her."

"So what happened?"

"Well...I mean, Rain and I had our fair share of fights...but I still loved her. Still looked up to her. And my parents thought that she'd be nothing but a bad influence on me. Eventually, the fighting got so incredibly bad that she couldn't take anymore, and she left. One morning I woke up and she was just...gone. All of her stuff had vanished, and her bedroom window was open. That was it, no note, no nothing. Don't ever tell her I said this, but I cried for weeks when she ran away! Hehehe!" He giggled. Someone came back and took his empty glass away, only to replace it with a full one. And he took another sip right away. "So...I guess a year or so passed, things were beginning to get better for the family, and I was becoming a straight A student. Just think, me...at the head of the class. My parents were beginning to move on with their lives again, still hoping that they could find her again one day. Never happened. BUT...one night, I heard a tapping at the window, and when I opened it, whoever was outside was gone. And they had left me a letter on the window sill. It was from Rain, and she told me that she was ok, that things were better where she was, and to never show this letter to mom and dad."

"So she DOES care." I added.

"Yeah, well...she also said to NEVER come looking for her or ask anyone about her whereabouts. I wanted to...I really did. But...after a week, I came here to the city on a bus, and tried to find her. She was my SISTER for crying outloud, I wasn't about to just 'forget' about her. So I came searching, and it seems that some vampire had pretty much targeted me for a snack. He attacked me out of nowhere, and I was helpless to stop him from sinking his teeth in pretty deep. I was half gone before someone showed up to help me." Gyro took another hefty sip.

"Somebody helped you?"

"Yeah. He was awesome! Strong, fast, the other vampire didn't know what hit him. But I was too far gone for him to get me to a hospital. So...out of mercy, he very quickly broke down the basics for me. Crossover, or rest in peace...that was that. Besides, do you know how COOL being a 'vampire' sounds to a fucking 12 year old?"

"I can only imagine." I said, speaking as little as possible and egging him on to finish the story.

"His name was Dennis, he gave me the bite to safe my life. And he brought me back to the lot with the rest of the guys."

"The lot? OUR lot?"

"The very same. And when I woke up from my resurrection...Rain was there. It seems I had stumbled onto her little troop merely by accident. The second she saw me hurt and learned what had happened, she took me in to watch over me until I came to." Gyro laughed a bit to himself, "Hehehe...oh dude! When I came to, I went to give my big sis a hug, and she beat the living SHIT out of me! Hahaha! She must have been saving that for weeks while I crossed over. I had never seen her so mad!" Then...his expression got a bit more serious. "She, uh...she thinks I threw my life away. She hates me because she thinks I gave it all up to find her, and now it's all gone. And you know what? I did. And I don't regret it." He chugged the rest of the drink down in three or four giant swallows, and set the empty glass down hard. "I still love her though. Even if I did have to get Dennis to protect me everytime I got near her. Hehehe..." Gyro trailed off into silence, and I didn't want to push too hard. Still, it gave me a bit of insight into their relationship.

"How come I never met Dennis? He sounds like a nice guy." I tried to change the subject as subtley as I could.

"He's...he's not around anymore. Let's just say, he chose a different path from the rest of us."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Gyro's alcahol was definitely beginning to kick in, I could see it on his face, and I knew he'd tell me. His drink was almost turning into a very reliable truth serum as far as he was concerned. "Well...long before Rain and me, before Taryn crossed oved, before Jenna and Dion showed up, Bryson and a few others took Dennis in. He had just been turned, and he was looking to find somewhere to stay. Those two were the best of friends. BETTER than friends! Bryson and Dennis were like brothers. They hunted together, trained together, Bryson taught him everything he knew. And Dennis was a total sponge, dude. He absorbed everything almost instantly, and kept asking to learn more. Bryson always told him to slow down, but gave in every single time and taught him new tricks almost daily. Those two were inseperable."

"So...what happened? I mean, when did he go down this 'different path'?"

"Shortly, some of Dennis' extra started to manifest themselves. Rather quickly, I might add. But he still wanted to learn and Bryson still wanted to teach him, and they just kept pushing one another. I think, somewhere along the line, it got to be too much. Things began to change, and Dennis' beliefs were changing too. I'm not exactly sure what happened between them, but it appears that Bryson had taught him ay too much, way too fast. And there's a great danger in that. Dennis stormed off from the lot one night...and never returned."

"No one's seen him?"

"We've heard rumors. Once he was traveling, once he was with a group of scavengers, once he was hooked up with the mob...but no one knows for sure what is and isn't true. But whatever he's out there doing, it's nasty business and Bryson feels responsible. Ever since, he's been incredibly strict on newcomers to the lot. That's why he's probably been so hard on you since you've been there. But don't take it personally, I happen to know for a fact the he thinks you're the shit. Just don't tell him I told you. Hehehe!"

I couldn't help but smile a bit. I never thought that Bryson hated me, but 'liking' me was not exactly what I expected. I just thought he saw me as another one of his 'students' and only cared enough to keep me from hurting myself or anybody else. I was honored. "Really? I never would have guessed. I hope I live up to expectations then."

"Oh he'll make sure that you do. Believe me on that one buddy boy." Gyro said, taking another drink from the cocktail as she walked passed. Now slurring his words a bit. "Ever since the split between him and Dennis, he's had chasers watch the newbloods and he keeps a close eye on everybody."

"What's that?" I asked.

"What's what?" Gyro said, then, he covered his mouth as though he said too much. "Shit..." He put his drink down half full, and pushed it away. "No more drinks for the Gyro-man tonight." He started to stand up from the table, "Feel like dancing?"

"Is this gonna be one of those questions that you're not gonna answer?" I smiled. But Gyro looked as though he had really messed something up. "Is something wrong?" I asked, seeing the concern on his face. He slowly slid back into his seat, and looked over at me. Whatever he was going to tell me...was bound to be important.

"Sigh...look...you did NOT hear this from me, GOT IT?" I nodded my head, and he said, "Chasers, Justin...they're...they're kinda like 'watchers'. Like bodyguards actually. Just...something to make sure you keep out of trouble. It's NOT that they don't trust you. It's just, this is a very difficult time for you. Crossing over is when you develop all of your abilities and learn to hunt and basically decide how you're going to live out the rest of your years. If you start making the wrong choices or get caught up by the wrong people..." I had to slow him down.

"Wait, wait...I don't think I understand." I said. "Gyro? Talk to me dude."

Gyro's eyes went down to the table for a second, and then he looked me in the eye again and asked, "Do you remember that night that Taryn found you on the lake? Just by accident?"

"Yeah, I remember. So? So what?"

"It....wasn't an accident, Justin." He looked at me until the realization of what he was saying started to sink in.

"Are...are you saying..."

"Taryn was given the task to watch you last night. That's how he found you. They've all been required to watch you at one time or another since the very first day you stepped out of that van. You have very rarely been alone." A look of shock came over my face, and I shook my head back and forth. I didn't want to believe it. "They just want to 'protect' you, Justin. That's all. But not for much longer! Soon your extra will kick in, they'll be able to share a lot more with you, you can start your training and Bryson will set a nice steady pace for you, I'm sure."

"You're lying."

"Justin.."

"Either that, or you're just drunk." I said, still trying to defend my heart and mind from the idea of being betrayed by the people that I had been calling my 'family'.

"THINK about it, Justin. Have you ever been truly on your own ONCE since you've been living there?" He said. I paused, and he continued, "Let me guess...everytime you go out, you take someone with you. Or someone offers to walk with you, or they want to talk, or hang out. And when you're supposedly 'alone' in the streets...you always seem to mysteriously run into someone from the lot. Am I right?" I thought about it, and I hated to admit...but he actually WAS making sense. "Shall I go on? Perhaps they seem to know things about you that you never told them about. If you ever go too long without being in their sight, they ask a billion questions? Where have you been Justin? What did you do Justin? Do you have any hidden spots that we don't know about Justin? Where do you hang out Justin?"

"STOP!" I said, trying to straighten my thoughts out so that I could create excuses for each and every instance. But I couldn't.

"Did you ever catch Chad, Justin?" Gyro said, out of nowhere. How did he know? How? Then...he leaned forward and said something that made everything else fall into place. "Did you ever stop to wonder how Jun hurt his leg? Seeing you run into Chad was one thing...trying to keep up with your little chase around town is something altogether different. I told him that he shouldn't try to run so fast without practice." I stood up from the table, and gave him a look of disgust. He put his hand on top of mine, "I'm sorry dude." But I snatched my hand away from him. And walked to a different corner of the club.

I did all that I could to deny what he was saying, to block it out...but he had a point. And the truth was trying to savagely stab its way through the lie that I had been living since I woke up next to Taryn that first night. Gyro was right...the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I HAD been running into people from the lot all the time. So many coincidences and I never SAW it! Seeing Jenna at the chilli dog place, Taryn on the lake, being escorted to the club tonight...there was always someone there. And then...going back even further...that night that I ran away from the lot and had to feed. How did Trevor find me on the subway steps? Or coming from Tim's place, that first time that I saw Comicality in the alley...I ran out and smacked right into Dion. Where did HE come from? And how did Dion come to our rescue in the subway when the scavengers attacked us? Every single time that I was out on my own, there they were. Except for the two times that I was chasing Chad, and the only reason I didn't run into them then was because I was running too fast for them to keep up. My God...my God...they've been following me. I feel like such an IDIOT!!!

"Hey..." Gyro came and put his hand on my shoulder, and I moved forward to give him a hug. "I know, dude...I know. I'm sorry to tell you like this. Listen, there's more. If you're going to know this much, you might as well know it all. Listen, I want you to stay here until this place closes tonight, and we'll go home together just before everyone turns in for the night. I've got something to show you. Ok?"

What could I say? I had been betrayed, lied to, and put under surveillance for weeks and weeks without anyone telling me what the hell was going on. Everyone was in on it but me. And the one that hurt the most...my boyfriend. My fucking BOYFRIEND! If there was more to learn, I wanted to know, and I wanted to know NOW!

He's growng so fast. By leaps and bounds. Already, Justin is strong enough and fast enough to outrun Jun and the rest of us. The only way that we were able to keep track of him for this long was the fact that he didn't know we were watching him. To be totally honest, he could easily ditch us if he wanted to. Even now he slips through the cracks. What's worse, he's starting to get suspicious, asking questions about things that I was hoping he wouldn't catch onto until it was no longer neccessary for us to watch over him. Sigh...I hate holding back from him, lying to him. He deserves to know the answers. He wants to learn, and I want to teach him. Still...Bryson forbids it, and I have to believe that he knows the situation better than I do from experience. I can't imagine that Justin would ever do anything but remain the sweet, lovable boy that I fell in love with. Then again...we never thought we'd lose Dennis ether.

Justin asked me about my family a few nights ago. Sigh...I would be lying if I said that it hurt. Hurt to tell him, hurt NOT to tell him. The images of my life seem so distorted these days. So faded. Distant. Occassionally I see brief flashes of my life, my mom just before she left for her business trip...my brother Alec, playfully swinging his little feet at the kitchen table. If only I could have seen the things that I have seen since my crossover. If only I could have seen the possibilities in my life before leaving it behind. Before allowing Trevor to fool me into thinking that turning into something else would be the end of my troubles. I wasn't even old enough to appreciate my life fully yet. I was just beginning to understand it. Now, when I look back, I wonder what would have become of me if I had made a different choice. If I had stayed with my mom...with Alec...with HIM in the house. The man who shut down every emotion that I had, until Justin came to free me again. Geez, reading ths over, it's making even less sense than usual. But like I said...everything that I am is based on what I've learned after my crossover. Because my life is all just a dream to me now. That seems like centuries ago, and one day...it will be.

I've been talking to Rain an awful lot these days, and she's feeling down more than usual. I still don't know why she feels the need to hurt herself so much, or withdraw from the others. When she talks to me, she's a completely different person. Beautiful, sweet, witty...I'd even go so far as to say 'friendly'. But it's a side of her that she refuses to share with anyone else, despite my constant struggle to get her to open up to the othes. I guess I'm all she's got for now, and I'm just honored that she chose me to open up to. Especially now that her brother Gyro is back for a visit. He blows into the lot about once every two or three years like a whirlwid and turnseverything upside down for a few weeks. Then, in a flash...he's gone. I know she misses him, I know he misses her. But thy've got this whole stubborn 'push-away' mechanism in their genes that keeps them from admitting it to each other. I swear, one day, those two are going to have to box it out until they lose the frustration and go back to being brother and sister again.

Bryso has been tightening up security around Justin since his chase with Chad, and that means that we're eventually going to get caught. I only hope he'll be able to understand and forgive me for keeping him in the dark. But it's almost over, and we're already preparing ourselves to teach Justin our extras little by little. He's going to truly be beautiful when he's ready to be one of us. Completely. It's the last step to eternity, with my love by my side.

G'night...and sweet dreams.

- Taryn