Dragon's Treasure

That should be " die."

Okay story.

The changes of perspective and place is confusing. And the rather anti-climatic ending that really let the story down. I could read past the errors, however, to introduce a character and then "get rid" of them, even for "such an epic cause", doesn't work. In one particular instance, I had Ian's (worrisome; nana's warning and lack of an untrustworthy character deduces this) idea until it was explicitly mentioned as "love" later on - too sudden and confusing.

I have nothing against the plot devices that were used - if used correctly - but there was a sigificant lack of development to achieve this. Especially after (and including) the "thief". The "pick up" of this friend seemed repetitive and the remainder of the story seemed more like author's notes (key paragraphs) than story narration/dialogue after the promising beginning.

I like all your stories - and I'm sorry about not leaving enough reviews to show it. But this one is amongst my favorites. Partly because it explains a lot about this world and partly because I love the friendship building between Ulee and Ian and also with the other boys they met.

The part with Josephus was bittersweet but very good. I was sorry they only had a short time with him, but his teaching and sacrifice was important and meaningful. I like to think he died happy for having had the chance to teach once more and to help two good boys onto their destined path. Makes me break out in goosebumps.

So thank you David for writing such amazing stories, I keep reading them over and over again.

On 07/24/2014 05:18 PM, Timothy M. said:

I like all your stories - and I'm sorry about not leaving enough reviews to show it. But this one is amongst my favorites. Partly because it explains a lot about this world and partly because I love the friendship building between Ulee and Ian and also with the other boys they met.

The part with Josephus was bittersweet but very good. I was sorry they only had a short time with him, but his teaching and sacrifice was important and meaningful. I like to think he died happy for having had the chance to teach once more and to help two good boys onto their destined path. Makes me break out in goosebumps.

So thank you David for writing such amazing stories, I keep reading them over and over again.