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Hazzard Oblivion

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About Hazzard Oblivion

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  1. Have a Very Happy Birthday! We should hear from you more often(hint).

  2. Phew... Getting ready for round two of Exeter University... Can't wait! :D

  3. I could see how the story line and the characters could make a solid 4-star story. The last star being left for flair. However, for me, a few too many narrative taboo's have been crossed into such a story that it was rather repulsive. The ending note saved a star for me: the character's had their just "resolution". This may seem harsh, but like the story, (sin one) I'm using hyperbole. A whole thematic device; not the conventional semantic version. I haven't found a story with such variety of tropes. After the initial discombobulation of being struck by something so terribly unoriginal, the hilarity of them as a character comes in. Then, sin two... Subsequently, none of the characters truly developed (sin two). Aside from the "from this, which is not working, lets try" plot - which effectively is the story - of character development (such as the sexual identity question; a few acts done, then the final act and it is confirmed [acts being literal in this story]) there is no real personality depth to the characters. Even this slight change doesn't seem to change their outlook: doubtful characters remain doubtful; outcast characters remain outcasts etc, et al. As a result, even after the story, they still are seemingly at the same stage as the beginning, just with extra history. So after something happens to a character which makes me as a reading interested in seeing their reaction, the unimaginative and underplayed reactions themselves - without any real resolution - left the previous ridiculous character (refer to previous sin) become its own trope and thus monotonous. It is because of this, how I feel as a reader to find this resolution fitting, that the story deserves credit. Not to mention that the story line was interesting, albeit poorly laid out (it should be clearer for point of view changes). This is why for the reality, of the 4 star story, the story itself was a high 2 stars. The sins would lose a star (including the need for clarity on the points of view changes) or make it a lower star, but the strangely fitting ending and a good mood have voided its affect. So: 2.5 Stars, rounded to a 3 Star rating.
  4. I agree with fmd. (Completely unoriginal I know, but the examples are there) However, I would say that the "implied sexual activity" was not obvious. I didn't find that the mentality (before it comes 'out') of the guys matched up with their reality given what a reader knows. For example, no matter how awesome the situations they got into, people of that age surely have more skepticism. In this sense the pack leader of the group of clothe-stealing boys made the most explicit reference about their actions being "gay". I'm all for freedoms of the kind described but there wasn't enough depth to the characters to indicate that they were either lenient or confused, etc. Specifically: you brilliantly presented everyday kind of interactions between the guys in the earlier chapters, but at the risk of twisting reality noticeably and not being perfectly consistent in the balance of this throughout. The unquestioned practices of the group of team members and friends is one example. It is a plausible situation, but realistically, there would be more reluctance like a person who tolerates it if they are not being targeted (like Peter did at his last school). But at the same time there were the more realistic interactions like tiredness or homework or just general interest, once the truth was out. Because of this is was tedious as the reality of the story was hard to take in without thinking that something was slightly askew until it made sense (though it was a tad leading/obvious)... Another example would be the ending in the sense that not tying up the characters and left it at year 11, would have made the story finish easier than trying to bend reality a bit to far by adding the couplings without proper back story, neglecting promising characters (like the group of younger boys or Owen). The group of boys could have continued tradition after joining the swimming team; Peter could have lost his name because he grew to be proportioned/ it just died out/ someone was even bigger and deserved the name; Owen had promise, building his character up like that; etc. Also, I didn't figure out that Peter was sexually active (aside from the playing around with the guys) until the leading statement about Ricky very late on. Me, innocent? Never. But I honestly thought that they slept, or at least continued groping. In fact, before I came to this revelation I was starting to feel like Matthew and Peter were scared of any further stuff and that was it. It didn't quite make sense when I realised that all of the experimentation after only recently figuring out he was gay and the dynamics of the seemingly open relationship flourished under the radar for the whole story. Perhaps, on a more writing-style level, the this issue would be due to the transitions within and including chapter usage where there is no consistent style for a reader to definitely say something has differed (or sexual activity occur ed in the interim). In this sense it reminded me of a-day-in-the-life kind of story where the transitions were skipped and instead of a reflective narrative - for character progression and hints of storyline - it was just a confirmatory narrative where actions occurred and his thoughts matched up. In this sense, it was really lucky as there was no "dilemma" where Peter would be naturally out of the loop - like a possible accident to a character - otherwise, given the style, the reader would feel caught up in the chaos, but not in a good way, as snippets of conversation may be heard, actions taken, and relief shown, but no particular "flesh" of emotion or support that would make it a truely gripping event, rather than just a scene in which a "gripping event" has taken place. Examples of this would be the natural emphasis placed on when Peter repetitively calls out to Matthew (who has fallen asleep) before a scene change as this kept of ringing alarm bells that something was wrong, when it was just an indicator that the scene will change. Also, the passing comments about his mother. They were the most reflective (in my view) as his concern became "justified" by the Beth's change of career and verbal confirmations; but, then hints at his concern over her being overworked anyway - which leads to very little in the story... Anyway, this sounds harsh. But I loved the story! It was a trial of new aspects that haven't been explored before in a feel-good story line where nothing truly bad happens - a slice of life - but with these new aspects that make it unique. The subversion of reality I could ignore once I understood what was doing on (or I was dense not to get it) and it make this twist come to live, however, arguably in not the best possible beginning or end. Yet, with all this, for such a story to have had me gripped to the screen (and mouse), it was amazing even with the obvious issues and flaws. For that reason I liked it and gave it 4 stars. I want more
  5. Ooooh! Soon to be off to Exeter University... :)

  6. That was an amazing story, although for a few chapters at the end.... I must admit, I would like to see where all the other characters (like Ethan) go now that it has ended on a kind of limbo for them. An after story would be awesome as well hehe 5 Stars.
  7. Hi Harry and welcome to GA (belated I see :)). Interesting pic you've posted - is this your own work?

  8. I can't help but think that there should be more to this... Otherwise, it still is good!
  9. Not a very imaginative title, but this is just a little exploration...
  10. Beautiful. It is that simple.
  11. Hmm... after all this time, I've finally decided to get things moving on here...

  12. A beautiful read that polishes off a good day. The ending had the perfect amount of sentimentality to make the characters really real. Love it!
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