Summer's too Cold - 10. Chapter 10 - A Day At The Mall... Absolutely Fabulous

I got out of bed at around 10. I didn’t get any sleep after that dream. How could I? Austin… he hated me. The very thought had me on the verge of breaking down to tears and sobs. Not wanting that, I pulled myself together, and went to get ready.

I stepped out of the shower and looked at myself in the mirror. Same old ugly face. I sighed. I looked like I hadn’t slept in days. Ugh. I ignored it and went over to get something wonderful to wear. At least my clothes should look good enough. Might take the attention off the rest of me for a while. It was around 11:30. I put on a pair of my converse and ran down to catch some breakfast. After eating, I called Nicole up and told her I was on my way. I ran up to my mother’s room and told her that I was leaving, and took money from her, and ran down. I asked the chauffeur if he would take me to the mall. Fortunately for me, there was only one in this area. I climbed into the car, as he started the engine. Now, this car was good. That’s ALL I knew. I didn’t know that name. Or its speed. Cars weren’t really “my thing”. So after 15 minutes of my endless and useless train of thoughts about how utterly boring cars were, we came to a stop at “the mall”. Thankfully, it was big enough. It LOOKED big enough. I asked the chauffeur to go back home and ran up the stairs, trying to convince myself that this was going to be nice. Pleasant, even. I couldn’t be more wrong.

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The first person I saw when I went in – first one I recognized, of course – was Nicole. And next to her was Shaun. He had soft, brown hair that seemed to refuse to settle down, dreamy brown eyes, and a light, chocolate brown complexion. He was a little too tall, and slim. He was a nice guy, but a smart-ass. Like the person standing next to him. And then I saw them… holding hands. WHAT?!?!?!?! And then came Ana and Alex. They both had dark brown eyes and hair. They had pinkish skin. I guess. They seriously looked like they were made for each other. They were the sweethearts of the group. So there was no surprise THERE. They were all sitting or standing around a fountain, placed at the center. I walked over to them, trying to not let the smile on my face fall of or something.

As soon as I got there I said hello, receiving a chorus of hello’s, hi’s and wassup’s. It was kinda cool to see them again, OUT OF SCHOOL, but I still couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that Nicole and Shaun were DATING. That IS what their holding hands mean, right? I looked over to Nicole, giving her a questioning look. She returned it with one of guilt, and apology. Why was she apologizing? I kept jumping in and out of the conversation, when suddenly Nicole spoke up.

“ Hey Jess… I need to talk to you.”

“Umm…ok.” I gave her an awkward look.

She pulled me to one side, giving me this weird look.

“Um... so…?” I questioned, wanting get her started.

Shaun turned around for a moment. But then turned back, just as fast.

“So now are you going to tell me what the hell is going on between you and Shaun, or will I have to beat it out of Shaun over there? And you DID call Bells didn’t you?” I said, grinning at her.

She gave me a worried look. “Yeah. Right now? That kinda doesn’t matter. Look, I am really sorry, but I couldn’t do anything. HE was in town, and Shaun wanted to call him with us. I asked him not to, but I couldn’t tell him why. Shaun said that he might feel left out if we didn’t invite him. I’m so very sorry…” What the hell was she talking about? Who is this “He”? I gave her a confused look.

“What are you talking about? WHO are you talking about?”

“Umm…” She motioned me to turn around. And… There was Austin. He was walking towards us; looking breathtakingly beautiful. My first instinct was to let out a deep sigh… And then I turned to Nicole, my eyes full of sadness, misery, and anger.

“WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE?!” I hissed at her.

“Umm... Shaun invited him… But PLEASE DON’T DO ANYTHING TO SHAUN!!” She said, as she saw me give him a venomous glare. “ He was just trying to be nice. He didn’t know about… what Austin did to you. And you DID forgive him. And it was MONTHS ago. AND YOU FORGAVE HIM FOR IT!! You cannot hold him to that, after you forgave him. And do you not love him”

I Sighed. I DID forgive him. But when he started ignoring me all of a sudden, it all came back to me. The sadness, anger, misery… and when I heard about him with Britt… Everything just got worse. And to think I thought today was going to be pleasant.

“I do... I did...” I mumbled.

“Umm… and it was kind of quick. After the first week of the summer. We kept hanging out and he just asked. And I DID call Bells. She’ll be coming with David later on. And Heather won’t be able to make it.” She said, putting on a fake smile. “It won’t be that bad…”

WON’T BE THAT BAD?!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER?! THIS IS GOING TO BE SCREWED UP!

“I hate you for planning this…” I told her sharply. Not caring if I hurt her feelings. She should understand.

We walked back to the fountain, reaching just as Austin did. Everyone greeted him, as I mumbled a soft “hello”. He leaned over to me, smelling of Vanilla, and whispered, “Hello… fag-face” With an evil grin plastered onto his face.

The very word got my blood boiling with anger. Today. Either HE is going to die… or SHAUN! But then Nicole would come in the way so Nicole too. And once Austin is dead, I’d kill myself soo… umm… lets say… not a good plan? Ugh. I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM!!!!

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As soon as we started roaming around, everyone started breaking up into small groups: Shaun and Nicole, Ana and Alex, Austin and… me. I sighed. I kept trying to talk to Nicole and Shaun, or Ana and Alex, but they kept pushing me out. Like I wasn’t wanted there. And I totally get that with Ana and Alex. BUT NICOLE AND SHAUN. THEY screwed all of this up. Pfft. I seriously felt like killing them. So, not wanting to disturb their newfound LOVE, I left them alone, walking all by myself; wondering why I even AGREED to come along. Just to make myself more miserable? Filled with more hurt?

“So…did you really mean what you said?” said Austin. That voice… I sighed. It was soo amazing; but it hurt like hell. Hearing that voice…

“Don’t you have something better to do than talk to a FAG?” I snapped back, wincing at the use of that word. Even though it came out of my mouth.

“Aww… are you mad at me? I thought you were in love with me, gayboy.” He said, in a mocking voice. It was funny how even when he was mocking me; his voice was so…amazing to me. Though I still DID feel like punching him. And how he could say that I love him, without any emotions – it hurt. A lot. Like it didn’t matter to him. Like I didn’t matter to him.

“Why are you doing this?” I said, almost on the verge of tears. “Just leave me alone. Get lost. Please.”

“Aww…is the fag going to cry now?” he said, then came closer and whispered, “I’ll never leave you…”

I looked up to meet his dark eyes, “ umm…what?”

He quickly looked away, “ Nothing. Fag-face.”

“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?! YOU KNEW I WAS GAY BEFORE I TOLD YOU THAT I LOVED YOU!! THEN YOU DIDN’T CALL ME “fag-face” or “gayboy”. WHY NOW?! WHY, HUH?!” there were tears pouring down my cheeks. “Why…?”

“BECAUSE… because… I… because I lo… feel like it. Because I feel like it. “ He stuttered. “Because I realized what a big fag you are. And that’s WRONG… Its wrong.”

“And you didn’t think it was wrong before did you? Oh, sorry. I forgot. YOU DID. And just because YOU think its wrong, you went and… you… but… still. I forgave you. Why are you doing this again?!” I sobbed. Everyone had started looking at us now. Hopefully, they will realize that HE is the bad guy here and start beating him up. Hopefully.

“FUCK YOU. You NEVER mattered to me. I NEVER cared about you. You know why? Cause you’re a big, fat, faggot.” He said sharply.

“SCREW YOU, Austin. Screw you.” I whispered, and ran off, wanting to get away from this…nightmare, I ran.

I kept running till I ran into Nicole, hugged her, and started sobbing in her arms. She started patting my head, telling me that it’s all ok. I wish it were. I just wish. After about half an hour, I calmed down, wiped my tears, and turned sharply to face Shaun.

“It’s all YOUR fault!!” I hissed. He gave me a surprised, yet apologetic look.

“Hey, hey, Jess, calm down. Like I said, Shaun didn’t know anything. But he is sorry ok? Now tell me what happened? What did Austin do?” Nicole said, in a calm, soothing voice.

“He…he just… he hurt me. He kept insulting me and mocking me and mocking me about me loving him and so much more… I know it might sound stupid…but…but…” I sobbed.

“Shhh…Shh…Sh… calm down. Listen. Don’t worry about that fucktard. Just ignore him. He isn’t worth it, k? we will go do something on our own. Bells and David are almost here. Lets go find Ana and Alex, shall we?”

“But what about Aus…” Shaun spoke up. Nicole gave him a look to tell him to shut up. But I knew what he was about to say. And I just lost it. Even more than I had a while ago.

“ YOU WANNA KNOW, WHAT ABOUT AUSTIN? HE CAN ROT IN THIS GARBAGE DUMP OF A PLACE FOREVER!!” I screamed.

“Jesse. Jeez, chill. I’m sorry, k?” he said, kind of annoyed with me. ANNOYED WITH ME?!

“Lets go find Ana and Alex, you guys…” Nicole broke the glare I was giving him by pulling me away.

After about what seemed like an hour, we found Ana and Alex on the third floor, being all… them. I shivered. We called out to them. Well Nicole did. I was still trying to glare at Shaun with having Nicole notice.

“YOU GUYS, LETS GO UP TO CINEMA. WE’LL WATCH SOME RANDOM MOVIE” Jeez lady. Loud much?

Alex screamed back, “YEAH OK!” then he looked into the shop they were standing near and… “HEY AUSTIN WE ARE GOING UP TO THE CINEMAS ON THE FOURTH FLOOR! COME QUICK!!” WHY?! WHY?! Ugh. I felt killing them. Killing ALL THREE OF THEM!! HE came running out of the shop and… looked straight at me. And he grinned his evil grin.

“Calm down. Spare them. At least try. Calm down…” Nicole whispered. They came towards us, and I shifted my glare from Shaun to Austin. He mouthed the word “Fag-face”.

“OK YOU KNOW WHAT?! IF YOU GUYS ARE SO SET OF GETTING RID OF ME?! ILL JUST LEAVE! SCREW YOU! SCREW ALL OF YOU!!” I screamed at them. “IM DONE HERE!”

And I ran from there. I called the chauffeur, managing to talk to him through sobs. As I ran out of the gate, I passed Bells and David.

“JESSE!!!” Bells screamed after me. But I just ran, got into the car, curled myself into a ball on the seat, and cried. And cried. I knew today was going to suck. I KNEW IT.

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