Divine Punishment - 5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 

 

“For fuck’s sake, stop fidgeting!”

 

“I can’t help it if I’m nervous. Have you seen your cousin? He’s hot!”

 

“Yes. And he already asked you out. So, he’s clearly interested. Hence, you’re not exactly going into it at a disadvantage. Just relax and act normal…Well, okay, maybe not YOUR kind of normal, since you’re a geek.”

 

“Thanks for the encouragement.” I slumped on my bed.

 

“Hey, hey! You’re creasing that nice shirt. Get up right now.”

 

“But what’s the point? You said it. I’m a geek. I’m gonna do something stupid and ruin everything. God, I’m such a wreck. It took me 3 friggin hours to select a pair of slacks and a shirt! I’m such a girl.”

 

“You have a crush. It’s understandable. But listen, you don’t need to panic. After all, you have me.” Terry said, his arms outstretched, as if pointing out the obvious perfection on display. “I’ll coach you, dude.” He went on, when he saw the befuddled look on my face. “I know everything about Jordan. I’ll have him eating out of your palm…and possibly other places before too long.”

 

“You are so crude. Yet…you do have a point.” I shot up off the bed and went to stare into the mirror for the 436th time in the past hour.

 

“Yeah. Jordan is a good guy, but he likes to make a good first impression.”

 

“Well, he’s already made a first impression.”

 

“Okay, first date…whatever. The point is that he’ll take you to an upscale restaurant. Not really black tie, but fancy enough to warrant your outfit.”

 

I stared at my khaki slacks again. I might be a geek, but I’m a jeans or cargo pants type of guy, but they were comfortable. My eyes wandered upwards, and I analyzed my striped dress shirt. I contemplated leaving my top two buttons open, to reveal my manly chest. Maybe take some glue and apply some hair. Then I almost started laughing at the absurdity of the idea. I picked up the dark blazer and decided it would do.

 

Terry was still droning on. “You should let him order. He has great taste. And if I know him, he’ll probably try to get you to eat something exotic. Something you’ve never tried before.”

 

“If he tries to get me to eat sushi or sashimi or whatever the hell you call it, the date’s over!” Now, that might seem like overkill, but you need to understand my way of thinking when it comes to meat. And yes, fish is meat, you wannabe vegetarians! I think of meat in one of three forms:

1. In my plate, nicely cooked and ready for consumption.

2. In the fridge or freezer, awaiting the cooking process.

3. Raw, exposed to the elements, being devoured by maggots.

I refuse to have raw meat anywhere near me. Put a cold steak on a black eye? Fuck that, give me an ice bag and barbeque the sucker instead!

 

“You don’t know what you’re missing, but I doubt he’d go for that anyway. He’s not really a sushi fan either.”

 

“Then we have a solid foundation for a lasting relationship.”

 

Terry smirked. “Getting a bit ahead of yourself, don’t you think?” I opened my mouth to protest, but he waved me away. “No matter. After the meal is over, he’ll take you to a movie. He’s a huge action flick fan. And, fortunately for you, Transformers is playing.”

 

“You’re shitting me, right? Michael fucking Bay?”

 

“The man is a master of destruction. King of explosions. Also, Megan Fox…”

 

“Considering that we’re two gay guys on a date, that point seems irrelevant.”

 

“Well, don’t forget that I’m gonna be there as well. If you two start groping each other in the dark, I may as well have something pretty to distract me, otherwise I might vomit. Wait…can ghosts vomit? Do you suppose I’d spew out some of that green ectoplasm thing? Like, Ghostbusters and shit?”

 

“You watch WAY too many movies.”

 

“Well, I’m a movie buff.”

 

“Yeah, right. A Michael Bay fanboy. That alone disqualifies you from ever claiming to be a fan of cinema.”

 

“I beg your pardon! I watch quality stuff too. My favorite movie is Das Boot, I’ll have you know.”

 

Thankfully, the doorbell interrupted our retarded debate. I panicked for a moment and remained perfectly still, but thankfully natural instinct kicked in and I started breathing again. I regained my composure, no thanks to Terry, who was teasing me for being a lovesick school girl and went downstairs, only to find Jordan in the hallway, looking down at my mother, a look of horror distorting his beautiful features.

 

I could only groan. What could she possibly have said to him in less than two minutes to have him so terrified. The old “what are your intentions?” speech? Then I remembered the plain paper bag and shook my head. Yeah, two minutes were more than enough time for my mom to scar anyone for life. They both turned to face me, relief flooding Jordan’s eyes, then washing down his face and gradually his whole body relaxed. My mom just smiled sweetly, walked over to me, patted my shoulder and slipped a condom into my pocket, then walked into the living room.

 

I made my way to Jordan, who opened his mouth a few times, like a fish, unable to speak.

 

“Yeah. She gave you some form of sex speech, right?”

 

He nodded vigorously. “That and something about her being able to use a paint brush as a weapon in case I mistreat you…”

 

“Ah, mother’s love…” We both started laughing and I could tell that Jordan was definitely relaxed now. TOO relaxed, as I took in his appearance. He was wearing jeans. Tight jeans, hugging him nicely in all the right places. And a tight black t-shirt. And fucking sneakers. I glanced past Jordan’s shoulder, where Terry was standing. He looked as perplexed as me.

 

“Wow, you look great, Xander. But maybe a bit…”

 

“Overdressed?”

 

“Bingo. We’re not going to some fancy 3 star restaurant, you know…”

 

“We’re not?” Terry and I said simultaneously.

 

Jordan dropped his gaze to the ground and shuffled his feet nervously. “Yeah…I mean, I thought we’d go for a more cozy, casual atmosphere. Get to know each other better. I find fancy restaurants stifling. I can never loosen up enough to be myself in those places. I want us to be comfortable around each other, not concentrate so much on proper table manners and outward appearance that we can’t have a real conversation.”

 

“That sounds really good, actually.” I smiled. “But I’m not changing, so you’re stuck with the preppy kid tonight.”

 

“I’ll manage.” Jordan chuckled. “Now we should head out. Mamma Mia’s pretty busy during dinner service, so we need to hurry in order to find a table.”

 

“Is that the pizza place on Canal?”

 

“Well, Italian. You can order whatever you like, not just pizza. I love traditional Italian dishes. I used to eat all kinds of weird shit when I was younger, especially with Terry. We actually went on a trip to China a couple years back and we ate bugs and all that stuff. It was…intriguing, but not really my thing, you know? Terry loved exotic stuff, though.” I looked back at Terry, who was trailing behind us as we were leaving the house. He seemed lost in thought. He was 0 for 2 so far when it came to his coaching me for the date. Seems he didn’t know Jordan all that well after all…

 

When we got to the restaurant, I was assaulted by the sound of dozens of loud conversations, bustling waiters and laughter. It was definitely one of those happy restaurants that attracts families and is well known for its friendly atmosphere. Yes, quite the opposite of a stuck-up French place with elevator music playing the background.

 

There were about 30 tables in the place, including a few booths. The place wasn’t very large, so the tables were closely spaced. We were seated at a table near the window overlooking the busy street outside. It was a pleasant evening, so happy couples were streaming down the sidewalk. I sat across from Jordan and was almost knocked over when a slim older guy stumbled into my chair. I scowled at the man, but his apologetic smile stopped me from uttering some very impolite words. He brandished a white, fancy-looking walking stick, which he waved around a bit. “Sorry. Lost my footing.”

 

I smiled politely and thought about how cripples always get their way. Harsh, I know. But it’s mostly true. Guy in a wheelchair runs over your foot? Sorry sir, I didn’t mean to block your way with my limbs. I helped seat him at the table adjacent to ours. Like I said, the place was small, so the table was like only a foot away. So much for loosening up. I couldn’t imagine myself flirting with Jordan with an old guy potentially perving on us so close by.

 

Jordan seemed to read my mind, because he placed his hand over mine in a reassuring manner and smiled warmly. After that, everything came easily and naturally. My nervousness ebbed away and conversation flowed smoothly. And the chicken cacciatore was to die for.

 

I barely even noticed that Terry wasn’t anywhere near us. I did notice him at one time outside the restaurant, his back to me, presumably staring at the people around him. That was the one moment during dinner that really brought me down. How must it feel? Masses of people running around you. Hell, running THROUGH you at times, yet to be so alone. Especially for someone so popular as Terry, to be so isolated, so close and yet so far from everything he knew and loved…it must truly be torture.

 

“Hey, you okay?” Jordan asked, concern in his tone.

 

“Yeah, just thinking.” I smiled weakly.

 

“About what?”

 

“The burden of life and the pain of death. The immortality of the soul…”

 

“Heavy topics for dessert, don’t you think?”

 

“Yeah, sorry. My mind just wandered for a bit.”

 

“I know how that is. I do it a lot as well. Especially after Terry…” I just nodded as silence enveloped us for a few seconds. I didn’t notice the old guy bending over next to our table at first, then I thought the guy actually WAS a pervert. Then he straightened himself up and presented a black leather wallet.

 

“Excuse me, young fellows, but is this yours by any chance?” he asked.

 

“Ummm…no.” I replied. Jordan just shook his head.

 

“Oh, dear. It must have been dropped by whoever it is that sat at your table before you.” I noticed a hint of an accent in the man’s voice, but I couldn’t place it. But the tone in which he spoke was a bit raspy, yet strangely soothing. I could suddenly picture this guy seating with his grandson in his lap, regaling him with stories from his youth. “I’m done with my meal, so I’ll just rush over to the waiter or manager and hand it to them, and point out where I found it, shall I?”

 

“Oh, let me come with you.” Jordan answered.

 

“Oh, no, no.” the man laughed good-naturedly. “You boys enjoy your dessert. It is essential for the success of a date, you know.” He winked, while I blushed furiously. “Don’t be embarrassed. You boys look cute together. I’m Christopher, by the way.”

 

“Jordan and this is Xander” Jordan replied, pointing towards himself and then me. Christopher’s gaze lingered on me for a second too long and I started getting uncomfortable, but then the man just smiled again.

 

“Very nice to make your acquaintance. Both of you. Now, enjoy the rest of your evening. I bid you adieu.” And he walked away. I noticed he had no limp and his walking stick seemed more like a fashion accessory as he almost swaggered towards one of the waiters who was standing near the entrance.

 

“Well, that was creepy.” I said.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I dunno. I just got a weird vibe from him. And he just stared at me. It was…weird. Disconcerting.”

 

Jordan raised his eyebrow. “He’s just some old guy. Probably one of those European aristocrats who travels the world because he’s too rich to do anything and gets bored if he settles down. And he may be gay. In which case I understand if he were checking you out. You look good enough to eat.” “Shut up.” I smiled, blushing.

 

“Xander, Jordan!” we heard Christopher calling to us, waving the wallet from where he was standing with the waiter. Jordan raised his hand in acknowledgement, letting the waiter know where the wallet was lost and then we settled in to finish our dessert and conversation.

 

When it was time to sort out the bill, Jordan offered to pay, since he was the one who asked me out, so I graciously accepted. The restaurant wasn’t terribly expensive, after all, so I didn’t feel guilty. Which is why I was startled by Jordan’s “What the fuck?” when he looked at the bill.

 

“What’s the matter?”

 

“We didn’t have baked ravioli in mushroom Alfredo sauce…” He waved our waiter over once more. “I believe there’s been some kind of mistake. We didn’t order this.”

 

“Oh, that was the gentleman sitting next to you.”

 

“What?”

 

“Yes, the one who left a few minutes ago. He pointed you out. Said you’d pick up his tab. You signaled that it was okay.”

 

“WHAT?! He found a wallet. Said he was pointing out to you the table where he found it, so you’d know who sat here.”

 

The waiter’s face drained of color, but he remained firm. “I’m sorry, sir. But you acknowledged the fact that the gentleman was with you. I’m afraid that…”

 

“Fine. Whatever.” Jordan growled as he took out the crisp bills from his wallet and placed them on the table. “Here’s a nice tip for you as well.” Then he grabbed my hand and we walked out. I doubted we’d be coming back there soon. “Fuck! You were right about that old guy. He fucking conned us. Ate dinner on us, the old bastard!”

 

I chewed over Jordan’s words and replayed the evening’s events in my mind and decided it was worth a laugh.

 

“What?” Jordan asked me, indignantly.

 

“Sorry, but it’s funny. I thought the guy was like a pedo or something, listening in on our conversation, bending over to look under our table. I thought he was perving on me. But he was just trying to get a free meal…” I started laughing again.

 

“Well, I fail to see the humor in the situation. He cost me money. If he were perving on you, I might have considered selling your ass for a few hours and I’d actually be making money.”

 

We both laughed. “Well, you’re getting kinda familiar with me, don’t you think? Maybe a bit too much. Talking about selling my fine ass? On our first date?” I asked, trying to contain my smile.

 

“Well, I told you that a cozy atmosphere would be better. It feels like I’ve known you for weeks.”

 

“Yeah, well it’s still our first date, so don’t expect me to put out, got it?”

 

“Never even crossed my mind.” Jordan replied.

 

“God, I really am gonna hurl.” Terry put in. I didn’t even notice when he rejoined us. “By the way, that dude was awesome, conning you like that. My kind of guy.” I shot him an angry glare, then turned my attention back to Jordan, as we walked hand-in-hand towards the Cineplex.

 

“Oh, look, Transformers is playing.” I exclaimed in fake excitement.

 

“Please tell me you’re joking.” Jordan said, staring at me.

 

“What?”

 

“Mindless CGI explosion fest? No thanks.”

 

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me! Who are you and what have you done to Jordan?” Terry yelled. “You!” he said, turning an accusing finger towards me. “It’s your fault. You used your…your…gay charms on him. Made him hate action flicks in order to please you!” I snorted, trying not to laugh too hard.

 

“What?” Jordan asked impatiently.

 

“Nothing, I just had you pegged for a Michael Bay fan. I mean, you say you were close to Terry and he just seems that sort…” I explained.

 

“Yeah, I suppose.” Jordan sighed. “He was. And I guess I did go along with him for pretty much everything. I guess I just wanted his approval. At first, I just wanted to be like him, when I was still hiding my sexuality, you know? Then, afterwards, I guess that, even though he seemed okay with everything, I was still afraid he’d turn around and I just wanted his approval, especially after…”

 

“After what?”

 

Jordan shook his head, trying to clear his mind. “Never mind. That’s a story for another time, okay? Come on, let’s check out a chick flick…” And so we did. And yes, we did end up kissing in the dark theater, but there was very little groping. Nothing vomit-inducing for Terry. Terry, who was extremely quiet and pensive once again.

 

Jordan drove me home in his big SUV. I must really like Jordan, because I didn’t once comment on how much I hate those stupid cars. We shared one more kiss and promised to see each other the next day at school, then I floated on the wings of…ummm…love? Lust? Deep like? Whatever, I was in seventh heaven as I made my way to my room.

 

I wasn’t even perturbed by my mom asking whether or not I used the condom nor was I annoyed when my sister taunted me. If it wasn’t love, it was certainly some kind of nice sentiment, because I was feeling invincible.

 

“God, I really was an asshole.” Terry said, breaking the mood.

 

“What? Err…yeah. But, what do you mean?”

 

“Jordan. I always thought he knew just how much I cared for him and that I was okay with him being gay. I thought he knew I was there for him. But I must really have come across as a jerk 24/7 if he still feared I’d turn my back on him. I’d never have done that, he didn’t need to appease me by doing everything I wanted to do!” Terry was on the verge of tears, which unsettled me once more. I just wasn’t used to seeing grown ghost cry, okay?

 

“Shh. It’s okay. I’m sure he knew. But, speaking from experience, fear of rejection is so deeply ingrained in gay teens that sometimes we don’t act rationally.”

 

“But especially after his family…I’d never do that to him.”

 

“His family? What do you mean?”

 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned it. Like I said, he’ll tell you once he’s ready. Let’s just say that he hasn’t had the greatest childhood and leave it at that, okay?”

 

It wasn’t okay, but I wasn’t in the mood for an argument, so I let the issue drop. I’d just have to have patience and trust Jordan will open up to me soon.

 

Well, soon wasn’t to be. Three weeks passed and we spent as much time together as possible. He would occasionally come over my house after school, we’d go on dates and spend lunch break together in school, as we didn’t have any matching classes. Our relationship didn’t progress much in the physical sense, but I was more than happy with what we were doing. And I was definitely falling for Jordan, so I knew that sooner or later, sex…REAL sex would come into play, because I knew the emotions I had discussed with my mom would also be there, making the whole thing that much more special. I’m such a sap…

 

So, Jordan had still to let me in on much of his past. He kept it vague and most of what he told me revolved around his time with Terry and his uncle, but we did talk about everything else, though. We were comfortable with each other and things were going well. I just wished he’d open up more. I still felt a corner of him was locked up from me.

 

Then one Thursday, two weeks before Halloween, Jordan walked up to me during lunch. He seemed really nervous about something.

 

“Xander. I know there are some things about me I haven’t told you yet…”

 

“It’s alright, I understand.”

 

“I know you do, which is why I lo…like you so much. But I know I can talk to you about this kind of stuff. I’ve talked to shrinks before, but I still can’t talk about this stuff with just everyone. But you…you’re someone special to me. So…we’ll talk. I’ll tell you my life story, in detail.”

 

“Err…now?” I asked, glancing around us at the feeding frenzy in the lunch room.

 

Jordan giggled. He was so cute when he giggled. Made me warm all over. God, I was getting hard, thinking those kinds of things. Get control!

 

“No, silly. After dinner. Tomorrow.”

 

“Like a date again?”

 

“Not really.” Jordan fidgeted in his seat a bit. “Umm…I’d like you to come over to my place. Uncle Terrence’s house, I mean. And…you know, meet him.” He said, looking down at the table.

 

“Whoa! Like, meet the parents?”

 

“Well, I already met your mom. Numerous times.” I rolled my eyes, remembering the time when, frustrated that we wouldn’t tell her whether or not we were having sex, mom offered to make sure we actually knew what we were doing, by putting a condom on a banana.

 

“Yeah, but…you never once invited me back to your place. I’m not accusing you of anything…” I raised my hands, trying to ward off any objection. “It’s just that you never seemed at ease when talking about your place. I don’t know, like maybe your uncle wasn’t comfortable with the idea or something.”

 

“No, it’s me. Like with Terry. I didn’t really accept the fact that he’s okay with it, so I was afraid to actually present him with evidence of my gayness.” I laughed at that. I just couldn’t help it. “Shut up. It’s hard for me at times, okay?” he went on. “But Uncle Terrence noticed that I was all…bubbly…”

 

“Bubbly?”

 

“Yeah. I was just happy, you know? So he figured I met someone and, well, he wants to meet you too…”

 

“So I make you bubbly?” I asked, grinning.

 

“I knew I shouldn’t have told you that!” Jordan swatted my arm playfully. “So, you in?”

 

“Yeah, why not? But you gotta tell me what to wear. I want to make a good impression.”

 

“You’ll be just great, don’t worry. I just hope Janice won’t be there as well.”

 

“Janice?”

 

“My cousin. Terry’s sister.”

 

“HE HAS A SISTER?”

 

“Oh, you can hardly call her that.” Terry groused. Over the past few weeks, he had become very proficient at testing the limit of our bond, going as far away from me as possible. He was “doing his own thing” as he put it. I can’t blame him. Watching me non-stop would be boring, so I was quite used to him not being around me one minute, only for him to show up and start talking to me the next.

 

“Yeah, she’s 26. She hasn’t lived at home since she left for college, but she does come back on occasion and recently, those occasions have increased in frequency, unfortunately.”

 

“That bad, huh?”

 

“Well, hopefully you won’t have to see for yourself, but yeah, she’s not really the most pleasant person in the world. It’s not really that she’s a bitch per se, but she drinks and parties a lot, and more often than not, she’s under the influence or something or other, so she can either be giddy, aloof or downright nasty, depending on circumstances.”

 

“Oh, goody. I can’t wait.” I replied, a knot in my stomach.

 

The next morning, I woke up as per my new schedule, enforced by Terry. It was a cold and misty morning, but Terry would not accept anything expect for serious snowfall as an excuse not to run. I was up to 3 miles now of downright running. I was quite proud of myself.

 

When I reached the halfway mark and turned around to head back home, I felt someone watching me. It was one of those eerie moments when a chill runs down your spine and you just know something’s wrong. Terry stepped close to me and I bristled.

 

“You feel it too?” he asked in a whisper. I simply nodded and turned in place, gazing all around me, trying to see what apparently wasn’t there. The mist seemed to thicken and I had a horrible sinking feeling. “I think we should go. Now.” Terry said. Again, I nodded weakly, swallowed hard and ran as fast as I could. I didn’t even make it 200 yards when I slammed into a wall of solid…air. I was left breathless, sprawled on the cold, wet pavement. I tried to get up, but my legs just wouldn’t work.

 

“Get up, Xander!” Terry said, alarmed.

 

“Help me. I can’t move…” I replied.

 

Terry leaned over me, then suddenly shot upright, his hands stiff by his side. He was unmoving, still as a statue, except for his eyes, which were darting around nervously, trying to make sense of what was happening.

 

“Terry, what’s wrong? Terry!”

 

“I can’t move either.”

 

“Of course you can’t. For such a strong entity, you are incredibly stupid.” A cold voice came from somewhere inside the mist. “No matter, your strength is all I need, not your intellect.” The voice was all around us now, swirling with the mist. I had no idea what was happening, but it was pretty clear that it wasn’t good. Then I heard a new sound. Steps. And a sharp tap. Coming closer and closer. Tap. Tap. Tap.

 

“I think it’s time you went on your way, Azarian.” A new voice said. Only, it wasn’t a new voice. I recognized that raspy tone from somewhere. Tap. Tap. Tap. I managed to turn my head and saw someone’s feet coming towards me. And as he stepped ever closer, his white walking stick came down as well.

 

“He’s mine, old man.” The cold voice said, full of anger. A gust of cold air whooshed over me and directly towards the old man from the restaurant. He was wearing a fancy black suit and tie, complete with dress shoes. He looked like a high-powered executive type. His eyes were ice blue and his grey hair combed back, his mouth set in a tight line. He stood calmly and raised his stick. I felt the air warm up as he did so and the wind settled, the mist starting to dissipate.

 

“Azarian…really. Do you want to do this?”

 

“BUT HE’S MINE!”

 

“We’ve been watching. You know that. You leave now on your own or I’ll make sure Sabian was the last one you ever consumed.”

 

There was no reply. But whatever bonds were holding me in place snapped and then the mist was gone altogether. I stumbled to my feet and Terry helped me steady myself. Then I looked straight into the old man’s eyes, my question obvious. What the fuck?

 

“I’m Christopher. Remember me, Xander? Terry?” he bowed his head, smiling. “It’s good to see you both again.”

 

“Who are you? How can you see Terry?”

 

“Well, I thought it was made clear to you that there are others like you, Xander. Some of them quite unpleasant, as you have just witnessed.”

 

“What the fuck was that?”

 

“All in due time. For now, you’re safe.”. He moved directly in front of me and produced a small card from his jacket. “My address. Be there tomorrow morning at 9, so we can begin your education.” Then he turned away and started walking towards a sedan parked on the street corner. I hadn’t noticed it through the mist before.

 

“What education? What are you talking about?”

 

He raised his fancy walking stick as he kept walking. “Tomorrow.” Then he got in the car and drove away, while I stood there, bewildered. That was definitely a feeling I was getting used to.