New Brother - 9. Chapter 9

I watched as Ian walked over to a blonde-haired girl in the crowd and put his arm around her shoulder. They then slowly strolled off together. Even though she was shorter and slimmer than he was, you could see the support he was drawing from her. Telling Craig’s story had really drained him.

As the crowd dispersed, I became aware of being the focus of attention. Adam was staring at me with an unreadable expression, but the sorrow on Scott’s face made me wonder what was going through that curly head of his.

Michael and Peter were looking at me puzzled, and a little annoyed.

“What was all that about?” Peter demanded.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Firstly, staying on your bloody butt when Luke and his thugs showed up, and then going off on Ian when he came along. What sort of mate are you, anyway?”

I looked at Peter. I could see that Michael was also interested in the answer, so I carefully considered what I was going to say. When I noticed that Peter was about to explode, I realised I was taking too long. I had to say something, and quickly.

“Okay, it's a long story, but here's the short version. If Luke had started something, I would've helped you and Michael, but Adam and I discussed this yesterday, and he doesn't want my help. I'm just doing what he wants.”

“You bloody hypocrite,” Adam interrupted, angrily. Stepping up to me, he added, “I asked for your help this morning, and you refused.”

“I offered it yesterday, but you threw it back at me. After what you did, did you expect me to suddenly forget everything and do anything you wanted?”

“I was hoping you'd be a friend! I needed you!”

“You told me that I’m not a friend, remember? Only friends are allowed to call you Ads, Adam!” I spat the last word out at him.

Suddenly, as if by magic, Scott appeared between us.

“Stop it, both of you! Shut up before you say something you'll regret,” he implored, as he looked at each of us.

“Too late, Scott,” I snarled, “Adam went too far yesterday.”

“And you went too far on Friday night,” Adam spat straight back.

Responding to a pleading look from Scott, Peter grabbed Adam, and Michael grabbed me. Shaking off Michael’s hand, I grabbed my bag and walked away. I had promised to keep an eye on Adam, but there were limits to what I was willing to do.

Wrapped up in my thoughts, I was startled when I heard Michael speak to me.

“Can you tell me what happened?” he asked.

I hadn’t realised that he had followed me from the basketball court. I paused and considered the request. Because of the help his dad had given on Saturday, I felt that I owed him something. He had also come along as support for Aiden only a short while ago. Nodding my head, I started walking slowly as I spoke.

“Adam's right about me going too far on Friday night,” I admitted. “When he told us that he's gay, I went right off and called him a lot of things. And I’m sorry about that. I've tried to apologise a couple of times, but he won't accept it. He was desperate at the time, and I really hurt him.”

After letting that sink in, Michael asked quietly, “And yesterday?”

I sighed. “Because of Adam, Liz and I have broken up. Adam was rubbing my nose in it yesterday.”

Michael's eyebrows disappeared under his hair, as he looked at me in surprise. “You and Liz? So that's what upset you before the game? I thought you two were pretty solid.”

It was only then that I remembered that he'd been sitting there when Randy had tried to find out what was going on between Liz and me.

“How did Adam make you two break up?” he asked, perplexed.

“It's a bit complicated, but she thinks I should be doing more for Adam. She doesn't understand what a danger he is,” I said, staring off to where I could see Liz and some of her girlfriends by the school buildings.

“And what sort of danger is he?”

I hung my head down. “I don't know, I just feel he is,” I mumbled. Looking back up at Michael, I continued defiantly, “He's a bloody poof, for heaven sake. Look at what happened to Randy because of him!”

Michael nodded his head. “I understand what you’re saying. I don’t agree with it, but I can see why you think it.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

Michael stopped as he turned to me. “Well, because Adam’s gay, Randy ended up in hospital. I know how much your brother means to you, so you feel angry with Adam because of that. But it wasn’t Adam who put him in hospital; it was Aiden’s dad. It should be him and his attitude that you’re angry with.”

Looking back to where I could see Liz, I sighed, “Liz said pretty much the same thing, but she said it before the game.”

“Then trust her!” Michael stated firmly. “She’s a smart girl.”

As we started moving again, I thought about what Michael had said. Were my concerns for Randy messing everything up? I remembered thinking, after talking to Brian yesterday, that the core of my problem with Adam was to do with Randy. But I still couldn’t put my finger on what it is that’s bothering me.

We were interrupted by the bell announcing the end of lunch. It was time to head off to my next class, the only class that day that I didn’t share with any of my usual friends. I was strangely heartened to remember that Michael also takes woodworking. Working with my hands instead of my head is excellent therapy.

Halfway through the class, I took the opportunity while we were sanding and staining the stools we were building to continue the conversation with Michael.

“Mike, can I ask you something?” I said quietly.

Looking up from the piece in front of him, he said, “Sure, Stick.”

“We’ve never really talked a lot, but this thing with Adam is really messing me up. Will you tell me what went through your head when you found out?”

He was silent for a long time, as he stood gazing at the stool he was working on. Picking up his sanding block, he slowly worked on smoothing the top.

“I’m not sure I can explain it,” he eventually said, “but I’ll try.”

“My first reaction was that it was some sort of joke, but I couldn’t see Aiden’s dad being involved in something like that. So, even though I would never have thought it of him, I had to accept that Adam’s really gay.”

“It was a shock. I really didn’t know what to think. But in front of me I had two examples of how to react; Aiden’s dad and you.”

He stopped sanding and looked up at me. “At the time, I thought you were accepting Adam for what he is. Aiden’s dad’s attitude repulsed me, so I thought that if you could handle it, I probably should be able to as well. So you can imagine how surprised I was today.”

Returning to my own sanding, I said, “I think I was handling it, at the time. Not well, but coping. But then Randy got hurt, and that’s thrown me.”

We were silent for the next few minutes as we worked side by side. Thinking the conversation had ended, I was startled when Michael started speaking again.

“I had a long chat with my dad yesterday. It was all on stereotypes. Being a cop, he sees all kinds of people in stressful situations. The main thing I took from it is that you should always judge people as individuals, not as members of a group. Everyone is different. Look at what they say and what they do. Don’t worry about what they might do, unless you have a reason to think they’ll do it. Because of that, I’m thinking of Adam as the basketball opponent we’ll probably be playing against in the grand final, who’s also someone I see at school. I’m not thinking of him as being gay. His being gay is something that’s just none of my business.”

“B2 said pretty much the same thing to me,” I replied. “I just can’t ignore it, though. You’re not living with Ads. I’m constantly being reminded about why he’s at our place.”

As the silence stretched out, punctuated only by the sounds of the class working on their projects, I thought about what Michael had said about people's reactions. Going over what I knew, I felt a chill run through me.

The people who were reacting badly to Adam were his dad, Aiden’s dad, Luke… and me.

Everyone I liked and admired was coping with Adam. Some, like Gary, were staying on the sidelines, but there were lots who were willing to step up and help. I, on the other hand, was in the same camp as people I despised.

Somewhere, somehow, I had made a big mistake and ended up on the wrong side of the fence. I still had a nagging concern about Adam, but too many people were accepting him without apparent reservation. I needed to work out my problem, but I couldn't let those worries control my reactions anymore.

“Mr. Johnson, the work isn’t going to get done by just staring at it. You actually have to do some manual labour.”

Mr. Chapman’s deep gravelly voice drew me quickly out of the daze I had settled into. With a mumbled apology, I commenced work again. I had a lot to think about, but then was the not the time to do so.

I was still thinking over Michael’s comments and observations when Scott caught up with me just before I entered my last class of the day.

“Stick, I forgot to ask you at lunchtime. Is it okay for me to come around tonight to study? I’d like to catch up with Randy again, anyway.”

“Sure, Break,” I answered absently. My mind was not really taking in what was going on around me.

He had been about to head off, but stopped after I responded.

“Are you alright, Stick? You’re not sounding all here,” he asked, concerned.

Shaking my head, I brought myself back. Smiling, I said, “Thanks, Break, but I’m back again. I was just drifting off. I’ve got a lot to think about. See you tonight.”

After another searching look, he seemed to accept what I had said. With a grinning reply, he headed off.

My last class for the day was history. I shared this one with Adam and Gary. I arrived just before the class was due to start, so I didn’t have a lot of options on where to sit. Apart from one seat right up front, the rest of the empty seats were near Adam. It was easy to see that most of the students felt uncomfortable sitting near him. The only exceptions were two girls who were sitting in front of him. They had turned around and were trying to talk to him. From the squirming he was doing, it was obvious that he didn’t want the attention.

Before I could make a conscious decision on where to sit, I found myself walking over to Adam. There was an aura around him like a trapped wild animal. My instinct to help creatures in distress kicked in, and I sat down next to him.

“Hi, Maise, Helen. How’s things?” I asked the girls, cheerfully.

Looking startled and a little annoyed, they gave me dirty looks. It seemed I had interrupted something.

“Hi, Stick,” Helen replied, grudgingly. “We were just talking to Adam about going to a movie on Saturday.”

“I'm sorry, but we've got an important basketball game on Saturday, and we need Adam. We're going to be two players down, so without him, we’d be in big trouble,” I explained, cheerfully. “Maybe another time?”

Helen eyed me suspiciously. “What time is the game? Surely he'll have time for a movie afterwards.”

“The game is late in the afternoon,” I said, “but it's going to be rough one. So the chance of being fit enough to enjoy a movie afterwards is pretty slim.” I smiled at the two girls. I'd never seen them at a game, so I'm pretty sure they had no idea what our games are normally like.

Before they could come up with another suggestion, Mrs. Leadbetter arrived, and it was time for the lesson to start.

With a lot of effort, I managed to pay attention through most of the class. My mind wandered off a few times, but Mrs. Leadbetter didn't appear to notice. We were covering the period of Australian history known as the Rum Rebellion. There were enough interesting stories as part of that period to keep the focus of the class on her for most of the period. You have to feel a little sorry for William Bligh. First he had the mutiny on the Bounty, and then, as Governor of New South Wales, he had a second mutiny by the police force. You wonder if he was just unlucky, or whether he was the sort of person that should never be put in charge of other people. Overall, looking at the events of 1808 took my mind off the events of today, at least for a while.

When the bell sounded to end the school day, I grabbed Adam by the arm.

“Come on, Adam. We don't want to be late,” I said, as I bundled him out the door before Helen and Maise could react. As we passed Gary, I called out, “Gazza! Can I give you a call tonight?”

Glancing over to me a little surprised, he said, “Sure, Stick! Anytime after eight will be fine.”

Waving a hand in acknowledgment, I pulled Adam along towards my locker. We had gone about thirty feet from the classroom when he pulled himself out of my grip.

“I can walk fine on my own, thank you,” he said icily.

I smirked back, “And if you look like you might be having any trouble, I'm sure that Helen and Maise would love to help you out.” I enjoyed the way his iciness switched to fright so quickly. I was right. Their attention had him rattled.

“Why are you doing this, David?” he asked nervously.

I let the smirk drop from my face. Honesty was the only thing I could answer him with.

“I don't know. Not really. I had a chat with Michael O’Conner earlier, and it made me take a good hard look at myself. I found some things I didn’t like. I think I'm getting myself sorted out, but I'm not there yet. There's still something that's bothering me, and until I work it out, I don't know where we're headed. I’m going to try to keep my temper under a bit more control, though.

“Truce? At least temporarily?” I asked him.

Examining my face, as if for any sign of deceit, he eventually nodded. “I can forgive you for your comments at the hospital, because you were upset over Randy. But I can’t forgive you for what you said on Friday night. I hope you understand that. I think you’re trying, David, so okay. Truce. For the moment.”

Delighted that I had started to mend one of my broken fences, I was smiling as we headed to join the crowd around where the buses would pick us up. The smile slipped, however, as I saw the way the students in front of us moved aside as we approached. There were mixed signals in the way that was done. Disgust or fear seemed to be dominant, but I was more worried by the occasional flashes of hatred. Because of Mr. Trent, I knew that Randy would be the target of the same reaction tomorrow when he came back to school.

“A little bit like the parting of the Red Sea,” Adam joked. I could tell he was forcing himself to find humour in the situation.

“I’ve known for almost three days now, and I’m just getting my head around it. Give them time. We’ll be back to pushing our way through soon enough,” I replied.

I desperately looked around for someone who wasn’t going to move away as we approached. I was relieved when I spotted Ian Ashton moving towards us.

“Look who’s coming over,” I said to Adam, pointing in the direction of Ian.

Smiling, Adam stepped forward. “Thanks, Ian. I really appreciate what you did at lunchtime.”

Ian grinned. “No problems, mate.” He then frowned. “Has anyone else been hassling you today?”

Adam paused, then answered, “Yes, but nothing more than I had expected, and a lot more low-key than I had feared. As David just said, I need to give them time to get used to the idea. If I'm still being hassled at the end of the week, I'll let you know.”

Ian frowned at me. I could tell I wasn’t one of his favourite people. With some justification, I had to admit. Looking around, I couldn’t see our bus, so with some trepidation, I grabbed the opportunity in front of me.

“Ian, can I ask you a question?” I asked.

Suspicious, he stared at me. “Why?” was his flat reply.

“I’m trying to get myself sorted out, and I’m finding it helpful to know what others think. Can you tell me what you thought, the first time you met someone you knew was gay?”

Softening his gaze, he said, “That seems fair. I can’t do it now, though. I’ve got to go. I’ll try to find you tomorrow at lunch. Is that okay with you?”

“Sure!” Glancing at Adam, inviting him to interrupt if he wanted to, I continued, “We’ll probably be where you found us today, unless something makes us move, or if it’s raining.”

With a wave of his hand, Ian turned and headed off. Looking back over his shoulder, he called out, “See you then!”

After Ian had left, we were both silent. The normal banter we would have exchanged last week was gone, and I had to admit to myself that I missed it. I thought about trying to pick up from where we were before Friday night, but I didn't. That would just trivialise the current situation, and I couldn't do that.

As I watched our bus roll up, I suddenly had a thought.

Turning to face him, I asked, “Adam, do you want me to sit next to you on the bus?”

He looked at me, suspicion written on his face.

“Why?” he asked bluntly.

“Firstly, as an apology for my behaviour today, and secondly because I’m not sure what the others on the bus are going to be like. This will give you another day before you have to find out.”

His expression relaxed as he considered what I had said. Finally, he nodded his head. “Thanks, David. I'd like that.”

As we boarded the bus, I sensed Adam was jostled. Looking around, I saw a few hostile stares, and a couple of smirks, but I couldn't pick who had done it. Adam just seemed to ignore it, so I followed him on without trying to make it an issue. From the way he hadn't reacted, I suspected that this was not the first time today that it had happened.

We were lucky. There was an empty seat near the front of the bus. Adam sat down and slid across to the window. With me sitting next to him, the only way he'd get harassed would be from the seat behind us. As I kept an eye out to see how the other kids were reacting, and to also see who would sit behind us, I noticed that Adam had his face firmly turned away, staring out of the window. After a moment’s thought, I realised what he was doing. By not looking at the other kids, he wasn't giving them any excuse to make a comment. If they said anything, it would be clear that they were starting it.

The way over half the kids slowed down and stared at Adam showed how well the school grapevine had worked all day. Most just seemed curious, though a reasonable number looked disgusted. A couple of the older girls looked thoughtful, and whispered something to each other with small smiles. I wasn't sure what that meant, but I didn't think they looked vindictive. It was more as if they saw an interesting challenge. Remembering Maise and Helen, I chuckled to myself. I think Adam is going to find himself being chased by a few girls who want to find out for themselves if he's really gay.

I felt relieved when a couple of young girls took the seat behind us. I think they were in Randy's year, but I wasn't sure. Regardless, I didn't think they were likely to start anything.

The trip home was pretty uneventful. The only thing of interest was when Rick got off the bus. As he walked past us, he stopped and asked me to pass on his best wishes to Randy. He glanced across at Adam and looked like he was going to say something, but then just shook his head and walked off.

Normally, the ten-minute walk home from where the bus drops us off goes quickly. Randy and I are usually chatting away with the gossip of what occurred in school that day. The walk with Adam, instead of Randy, seemed to last forever. The silence between us just emphasised the stress we were both feeling. As we passed the entrance to the Ricardo property, I finally broke the quiet.

“Would you like to drop in to see B1 and B2 before we go home?” I asked.

“No. I'm not sure what their parents would've heard by now, so I don't want to risk showing up without an invite. I also want to find out how my mum is doing. Your parents were going to try to see her today,” he replied, as he strolled along. With a sidewise glance, he added, “Thanks for the suggestion, though.”

I had forgotten about that. Adam must be a bundle of nerves, waiting to find out what his mum and dad have done today. From what Kelly had said on the weekend, Adam's mum must be really stressing out. Was there a possibility that she'd leave his dad, and so be able to take Adam back? It wouldn't solve all my troubles, but it'd put some distance between Adam and Randy until I could sort out what my problem was.

I cringed as I realised what I had just been thinking. I had been callous enough to think about someone getting a divorce as a partial solution to a personal problem of mine, without being concerned for the people involved. Mrs. Kennedy had to be really hurting. Her husband had turned morbid, her daughter was rarely home anymore, and now her son had effectively been pushed out of her life. And all I had thought of was her leaving her husband to make my life easier. I felt very, very ashamed.

When we finally got home, Mum and Randy were sitting at the kitchen table. Randy looked a little better, but the main thing that shone through was his enthusiasm as he jumped out of his seat to greet us.

“Stick, Ads! How was the day? Any problems? What did everyone say? Anyone hassle you?”

Grinning at the eager stream of questions that were springing out of Randy's mouth, I was going to respond, when I noticed that Adam was ignoring him. Turning towards Adam, I saw him looking fearfully at Mum. After opening and closing his mouth a few times, two words eventually made their way out.

“My mum?” he asked. The concern in his voice made the question hang heavy in the air.

Randy fell silent as we waited for Mum to respond.

Rising to her feet, she gave Adam a gentle smile. “Come with me to the living room, Adam. I'll tell you all about it there.” The smile made me think that there had to be some good news in what she had to say. The fact that she took him away to tell him made me think there was probably some bad news as well.

Turning back to my brother, I asked, “Do you know what she's going to say?”

He shook his head, “No. She didn't say much about what she and Dad got up to today.”

In a lighter tone of voice, he continued, “Anyway, are you going to tell me what happened today, or do I have to drag it out of you?”

“How about I give you the bare bones, and we wait until dinner so everyone gets the full story at the same time?” I offered.

“Deal!” he grinned.

Taking a moment to think about it, I decided that the real events of interest were all those that occurred at lunchtime.

"At the start of lunch, Peter Papadopolous asked Adam about the rumours. He admitted to them, and told Peter that he’s been kicked out of home and is living with us. Peter then warned Adam that Luke Williams was on the warpath. Aiden's dad showed up at the school office, and he's taken Aiden out of school. Luke found Adam, but Peter and Michael O'Conner faced him and his cronies down. I thought there was going to be a fight, until Ian Ashton, the footy team's ruck-rover, showed up and forced Luke to back off. When I asked him why he was helping, he told us a story about working in a hostel with AIDS patients before Christmas. He's offered to break the teeth of anyone who interferes with Adam. Oh, and a couple of girls in our last class seem to have decided to start chasing Adam. They were asking him to go see a movie with them on Saturday.”

Laughing at Randy's obvious confusion at the rapid dump of the day’s events, I headed off to my room to dump my books and get changed. I knew my brother would be hassling Mum to have an early dinner so he could get the complete story as soon as possible. Having to wait drives him nuts.

My happy mood evaporated quickly as I stepped into my room. The pictures on my desk quickly reminded me of what I’ve lost with Liz. I knew I needed to sort myself out as soon as possible if I was going to have any chance of winning her back. Turning all of the pictures face down, I sat down and started work on those bits of homework that I knew wouldn't require much thinking.

At dinner I let Adam do most of the talking. I noticed as I sat at the table that he'd been crying, but the small smile he had on most of the time showed that the talk with my mum had gone well. If there was bad news, the good news clearly outweighed it.

Adam did a good job of explaining the day. The only way he strayed from the truth was in the way that he neglected to mention the two fights he and I’d had. The one before school started and the one at the end of lunchtime. I took that to mean that he was honouring the truce we agreed to at the end of school. While I had been prepared to get into trouble with my parents, I was relieved that I didn't have to worry about it.

The only real bit of talking I did was explaining the scene with Aiden's dad at the office, and my chat with the principal. I told them about how Mr. Pitt had been contacting the police station when I left, but as Aiden never reappeared, I guessed there wasn’t anything to keep Mr. Trent from taking his son out of school. Dad nodded, sadly. He said that as there didn’t appear to be any history of abuse, the school and police really didn’t have much option.

I also mentioned that Scott would be coming over later tonight to study. As our computer classes are on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I would need his help next time he showed up, but not tonight. Tonight I'd just be tutoring him on English.

Randy asked about the guardianship papers, and Dad told him not to worry about them. Randy and I exchanged glances at that, and we both silently agreed that there had obviously been some sort of trouble. Adam on the other hand looked unconcerned, so maybe Mum had already filled him in on what was going on. It was very clear, though, that Dad didn't think it was any of our business, at least for now.

We had finished dinner and the cleanup afterwards, before Chris dropped Scott off.

“Hi, Break! Isn't Chris staying?” I asked.

“No. He's got a few things he wanted to get done. He said he'd come back around ten. That should be enough time to go over things, shouldn't it?”

“More than enough time!” I replied, smiling.

Settling ourselves at the kitchen table, we were joined by Randy and Adam. Even though he'd had the day off, it looked like Randy still had some long-term homework left over from the week before. As the others started on their work, I quickly reviewed his English notes with Scott to find out what he was up to, and where he needed some help. Overall, I thought he was doing quite well. The hardest bits were the clear thinking exercises, and learning to structure his essays.

Time went by quickly, and it was only when I glanced at the clock and noticed it was after eight, that I stopped.

“I think you have enough to work on for the moment, Break. Okay if I disappear for a while?” I asked.

“Sure,” he answered, puzzled. “What’s wrong?”

Glancing across to where Adam was doing his homework, I said, “I need to talk to Gazza. I know I have problems and I’m trying to talk to as many people as possible. Like I spoke to you, yesterday.”

As I stood up, I added, “The problem’s with me, not Adam, and I want to try to get it sorted out as soon as I can. Do you mind?”

Smiling, he waved at me to go. I could tell he approved of what I was trying to do. Adam and Randy both looked up at me as I started to move off, but they both returned to their homework before I could read anything in their expressions.

Grabbing the phone, I disappeared into my room. After closing the door, I sat on my bed and rang Gary.

“Hi, Gazza here.”

“Hi, Gazza. It’s Stick. Are you free to talk?”

“Sure, Stick! What do you want?” he replied.

I knew that working out how to start was always going to be the hardest part, no matter who I talked with about the Adam situation. Taking a deep breath, I dove right into the middle of the problem.

“I realised today that I’ve got a problem. Most people seem to be handling Adam being gay a lot better than I am. I’m trying to work out what I’m doing wrong. Do you think you can talk to me about it?”

There was silence at the other end of the phone for a long time. Just as I was going to say something, Gary started speaking.

“I have to admit that I’m uncomfortable with him too,” he said. “I don’t have to live with him, though, so it’s easier for me. Maybe we can help each other?”

“Sounds good to me. Shall I start, then?”

“Go ahead, Stick.”

“Okay. My opinion has gone up and down since Friday night when I found out. A lot of people have told me that he’s still the same guy we’ve been playing basketball with for a couple of years now. B2 told me that to him and B1, his being gay is just not important. They trust him enough that they’re sure he won’t try anything with them.”

Gary interrupted, “Trust. That’s the key, I think. Can we trust him? To trust someone, you have to know them. I don’t feel like I know him anymore.”

I considered what Gary had said. What does it take to know someone?

“I thought the same, but after I heard what he's been through, I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. He's been hurt real bad by this, and it's not something he has any control over. Did you know that he tried for almost two years to go straight?”

“Two years?” Gary exclaimed. “Shit! I never realised it went back that far. I thought this was all recent.”

“No. He told us on Saturday morning that he's known for just under two years. He only really accepted it himself at Christmas. Until then, he'd tried to deny it, to convince himself he wasn't gay.”

“So, we've been friends and teammates with a poof for two years, and didn't know it,” Gary mused. “That's going to take a bit to understand.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well, either he's harmless or he's been biding his time,” Gary said. Then, as if struck by a sudden thought, he added, “Or maybe he's been using us as sex objects in his fantasies.”

“I didn't need that last one,” I said, gagging. “That's gross!”

“Yeah,” he agreed. He sounded a little sick as well. “What's he been thinking of doing to us as he jacks off?”

The images that came into my mind were so disgusting I almost threw up. Swallowing a few times, I forced myself to think of something more pleasant. My favourite fantasy sprang to mind.

“I'd much prefer to think about Kylie Minogue, thank you very much!” I said, trying to take my mind away from the images Gary had put there.

“You're a Kylie boy? Me, I much prefer Delta Goodrem,” Gary replied. He seemed to prefer the sudden change of topic as much as I did.

“She's not bad, but with Kylie, you also...” My voice faded as I realised what we were doing.

“Stick? What's up? What do you get with Kylie?” Gary asked.

“Shit, Gazza. Do you know what we were just doing?”

“Yeah. We were talking about our favourite jack off ... oh.” He paused. “I see what you mean. We were doing the same thing, weren't we? Imagining others as sex objects.”

“It's still disgusting to think about it, but we can't blame Adam if he does it, can we? As long as he keeps it to himself?” I asked.

“Let's be honest. He's more likely to be dreaming about Ryan Phillippe or The BackStreet Boys, anyway,” Gary joked.

“You don't think I'm as good looking as Ryan Phillippe?” I said, faking a hurt tone.

“Stick, how should I put this?” he started. “No. Now me, on the other hand, I'm definitely fantasy material,” he finished proudly.

“Horror movie material, maybe, but not fantasy material,” I shot back.

“Okay, if you've finished insulting me, shall we get back to the subject at hand?” he laughed.

I sighed, “Okay, but it's tough to talk about him.”

“If he's been gay for two years, and done nothing, I'd have to think he's harmless,” Gary conceded.

“That’s what I’ve been thinking as well. As Liz said to me...” I stumbled a bit as I recalled what a mess I'd made of that situation. “As she said, he's still the same guy who pulled me out of the creek last year.”

“So, you're going to be cool with Ads now?”

“I've still got another problem that I can't sort out,” I admitted.

“What's that?”

“There's something that's bothering me about Adam and Randy, but I don't know what it is.”

“Talk to me, mate,” Gary encouraged.

I sighed. “There's just something that strikes me as...” I searched for the right word. “Unnatural, in the way they are behaving to each other.”

“You know the rumour that was going around at the end of school today? That Giant's gay?” Gary asked, hesitantly. I could tell he was trying to disbelieve it.

“I hadn't heard it, but I expected it. I was in the office when Aiden's dad said that Randy is Adam's boyfriend. There was another kid there, and gossip like that is too good not to spread.”

“Do you think it might be true?” Gary said gently.

“I hope not,” I replied quietly, “but he's not doing anything to make me believe otherwise. He's acting like an over-protective boyfriend. He told me on Friday night that he’s not gay, but he's spent a lot of time with Adam since then.”

Talking about it, one of my fears about Adam finally came into focus. I could handle Adam being gay, but I was scared for my brother. Could Adam have turned him gay?

“Gazza, do you think that Giant's gay?” I asked. I half hoped he wouldn't answer.

“Stick, I would never have thought that Ads is gay. How am I supposed to know if Giant is?”

“Fair call, I suppose,” I answered, dejected. “Do you think that Adam might be turning him gay?”

“That's a harder one. Someone told me once that being gay is something you’re born with. If that's true, you can't turn someone gay. I just don't know if that's true or not. It's not something I've spent a lot of time asking about.”

“Then why is he acting like he is?” I pleaded.

There was a pause, and then I heard chuckling coming down the phone line.

“Stick! Have you ever considered how you look after Giant? It sounds like he's doing exactly the same things that you do when he needs help. If we didn't know you were brothers, we'd probably think you were his boyfriend! He's just being a normal member of the Johnson twins.”

“Mum said that he's learnt from me how to be protective. Giant's also called Adam his new brother so he's treating Adam the way he thinks a brother should be treated. Maybe that's all it is,” I mused.

“Stick, I'm sure that's all it is. You know your brother better than anyone. If he told you he isn’t gay, why can't you just believe him?”

“Because I'm scared that he's going to get hurt, regardless?” I answered softly.

Gary sighed. “He's a big boy, Stick. We can all protect him as much as we can, but he's going to have to stand on his own two feet sometimes. He's going to have it tough when he goes back to school, but from what I heard, Ian Ashton has threatened to have the entire football team bash anyone who touches Ads. He'll do the same for Giant, I'm sure.”

I laughed. “He never mentioned the rest of the team. He said he’d break the teeth of anyone who hurt Adam. He even made a point of checking on him before we got on the bus home.”

“You were there when it happened?” Gary asked, surprised.

“Yeah, I was. I was pretty surprised, too, at the things he said.”

“So, did he really have a boyfriend who died of AIDS at Christmas?” Gary asked eagerly.

“No,” I laughed. “The rumour mill has certainly gotten that one confused. His mum made him work with AIDS patients over summer and one in particular. That's the one who died at Christmas, and that's the one who taught Ian that gays are just normal people. I don't think Ian’s gay.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard so many wild rumours going around as I did at the end of school today,” Gary admitted. “And they all centre around Ads. There’s going to be a lot of confusion over the next few days until the truth starts filtering through.”

As I wondered what to say next, Gary continued hesitantly, “Stick, I even heard a rumour that you broke up with Liz because you’re gay too.” He quickly added, “Of course, I don’t believe that one at all, but I thought you should know.”

At the thought of Liz, a shudder ran through my body. Once I get myself sorted out with Adam, I need to work on reclaiming Liz. She had made it clear that I can’t have her back until then.

“Thanks, Gazza,” I said, appreciatively. “I half expected that one. If you don’t know what happened, it sort of makes sense, in a weird way. Just something else to put up with, I guess.”

“So, Stick. What are you going to do now?” Gary asked.

“I don't really have any choice, do I? I'm just going to have to trust Adam and Giant and keep my worries to myself,” I answered, resigning myself to the inevitable.

“My gut feeling is that you can trust them, Stick. Giant's very mature for his age, and we were just saying that Adam's harmless. What we need to do is to make sure they don't get hassled at school.”

“Yeah, but I don't have to like it,” I said, sadly.

“Oh, and Stick, if the worst thing happens...” Gary said, then paused.

“What?” I asked, worried when he didn't continue.

“I think Ads and Giant would make a wonderful couple,” he finished, laughing.

“You little shit!” I exclaimed, and then started laughing, too. “They might make a great couple, but that’s not something I'd wish on my brother.” I was glad Gazza had lightened things up. It really did help.

“Okay, I'll trust them. And we'll help them out as much as we can. Deal?” I asked Gary.

“Deal. I'll make a point of telling Ads myself tomorrow before school. Thanks, Stick. This has been a good call.”

“Thanks to you, too, Gazza. I think I've finally got myself sorted out. I'm going to go tell Adam, so we can start getting back to where we were before. Bye, Gazza.”

“See you tomorrow, Stick.”

Getting up from my bed, I felt as if a large burden has been lifted from me. I still had worries, but I could see which ones I could do something about, and which ones I just had to accept, and that made a huge difference. The best news was that all my serious worries about Adam were in the category that I just had to accept. They aren’t going to change, so I just have to take Adam as he is.

Back at the kitchen table, I was surprised to find Randy sitting by himself.

“Giant, do you know where Adam’s gone?” I asked.

“He and Scott headed off to my room. Break was going to show him how to do something on the computer as part of his homework,” Randy said, looking up from the pile of schoolbooks in front of him.

“Thanks. I’ve got something I need to say to Adam. I’ll be back soon.”

I was happy as I rushed, almost danced, down the hall. There was a good chance that everything could go back to normal. I felt I had a handle on what was going on, and I was ready to move forward.

I burst into the room, ready to tell Adam what I had decided, but the words died on my lips when I saw the scene in front of me.

Adam and Scott in an embrace.

Kissing.