Stone Hearts & Hand Grenades - 5. Chapter 5

I cleaned my room up, picking up stray pieces of paper, reorganizing my bookcase, made my bed properly instead of just laying the comforter straight across and slopping the pillows on top. I also swept the dust and dirt off the maple hardwood floors. I went to my desk and straightened everything out so everything had it's place. I went to my dresser and re-alphabetized all of my toiletries. I had colognes and perfumes, some that I wore, some that I used as room sprays and some I used as fabric sprays. As I was cleaning, I got a call from an unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Yeah, hey Trace, it's Christian. I was wondering if I could come over in like 10 minutes to start the project?"

"Yeah, that's fine. I was just cleaning up anyway. Do you know where I live?"

"No, I don't."

"Just come up two streets from yours, in the cove, and we're the fourth house on the left."

"Okay cool, I'll be there soon."

I continued cleaning up, spraying Pure DKNY all over my room and basking in the clean, floral scent of the perfume.

I went downstairs to wait in the den for Christian to call. I popped on the television and turned to the music stations. After 5 minutes, Christian called and said he was in front of my house, so I went to open the door for him. He stepped out of his car, looking so beautiful. He had on a white OBEY tank with red writing and black skinnies, and a black cap. He walked up to the door and I just stood there, admiring his beauty.

"So am I allowed in or what?" He just laughed while I stood there dazed.

"Oh! Yeah, of course, come in." I stood back and let him in.

"This place is so nice! Way better than ours." He said, looking around.

"My mom's an interior designer and decorator. She redoes the place every 5 or so years and she adds new areas now and then. We recently updated the kitchen last year. Come on, let's go upstairs." I directed to the stairs in the living room. "Wait, before I do that, I need to tell Nana that I have a guest over so she can make us a snack or something."

I walked to the study where Nickola usually is and told her to make Chris and I some sandwiches and something to drink. I usually didn't eat in my room, but I told her to bring the snacks up anyway. When I walked back to the living room, Christian was seated on the couch, looking through a photo album.

"Enjoying yourself?" I asked him as he flipped through the pages of the album.

"Yeah, you still look the same. You've always had the hair?"

"Since I was a kid. I kept getting it cut but I decided I'd never cut it all off. I got the dreadlocks when I was 14. My cousin convinced me to do it," I replied to him sitting next to him to see the photos he was looking at. He turned the page once more, and there were the naked pictures of me in the tub when I was a toddler.

"Okay, enough! Come on we gotta get to work." I said reaching for the book.

"No! Look at you! You were so cute! What happened?" He said, trying to move the book out of my reach. I leaned over his body to grasp the book. As I did so, I came into contact with his skin. His skin was so warm and inviting. I felt electricity spark through my core. I finally grabbed the book and sat it down told him to come upstairs so we could finally get to work.

"Man your room is HUGE! It's so clean too. It looks like something out of one of those home design magazines." He said , looking around. He sat down on the window seat, while I got our biology book out of my bag.

"This was my parent's room before my mom decided to add on another master suite. I even have a custom closet and my own bathroom. Pretty great huh?" I said back, sitting next to him. I opened to book and turned to a diagram of the organelle structure of a eukaryotic cell.

"So, I was thinking, I could take the plant cell, you could do the animal cell..." I said, getting right to business.

"Wait, you want to do separate things? Why not just work on both together?"

"Well, that can work too. I want ours to be 3D, and not some cut and folded construction colored paper. I guarantee that half of the class will do that," I replied to him, laughing.

"What do you suggest then? I don't know anything other than the clay method that you were talking about."

"Ain't nobody got time for that." I said, stifling a laugh.

"You got jokes huh? Come on, man, get serious."

"Well, we could go to the arts and craft store. I'm all for going creative and making it work. Oooh! I have an idea! We can cover the outside of the plant cell in grass because of the chlorophyll and the rigid cell wall plant cells have that animal cells don't." I said excitedly.

Just then, Nickola came into my room and sat the snacks on my desk and walked back out. Christian sprinted to the food and attacked it immediately. He practically swallowed his sandwich whole, and drank the soda in 3 gulps.

"Wow, someone was hungry. You must play sports to eat like that?" I said, amused at him.

"Yeah, I do. I play football, run track, tennis and I used to play basketball but I got kinda tired of it." He said, opening the second drink.

"Hey! That's mine!" I went to grab the can from him, and instead of successfully grabbing it away from him, the soda wasted all over his shirt and jeans. I laughed even harder! "It looks like you pissed on yourself."

"See! Look what you did, Trace! You play too much." He sounded kind of pissed, but he was still smiling.

"I'm sorry! No, really! I am!" I said, still laughing with my back turned to him. Christian came behind me and poured the soda down the back of my shirt. I yelped from the coldness and the shock from him purposely getting my shirt dirty.

"What the hell did you do that for?!" I said, playing angry with him. "That is cold! I did it by mistake, douche bag!" I punched him in his shoulder lightly.

"Yeah, whatever. As long as I got you back."

"Now I have to change shirts. Ugh, you vex me," I said going into my closet to get another shirt.

"No, no. If I have to stay sticky and cold, so do you. We're even now." He was laughing so hard. The twinkle in his golden eyes was undeniable. I just couldn't say no to him.

"Whatever. Enough playtime. Time to get back to work." I sat back down on the windowseat, crisscross style and started talking about the arts and craft stores we could visit and see what they had. Christian came and sat by me and just stared at me, peering into my soul.

"Why did you leave yesterday?" He asked it so plainly and even.

"What?"

"Why did you leave at the beach yesterday? What happened?" He seemed to be studying me as he asked the question, his eyes never really leaving mine.

"Well..." I started. Just thinking about it brought back the hurt I felt when I saw him holding that girl's hand. "They were smoking and drinking and that's not something I wanna be associated with or around," I continued.

"Are you sure that's it? That's the only reason?"

"Yeah, what other reason would there be?" I faked a smile.

"I was just asking. I'm your friend right? Friends tell each other things." He was still studying me very hardly.

"Yeah you are my friend. I told you everything already," I kinda laughed, trying to lighten up the mood. I knew the real reason why I left though. And it wasn't because of the drugs and liquor.

"I didn't want you to leave though," he spoke softly, looking downward.

"Oh, okay," This time, I was studying him. "Why not?"

"Because," he paused. It was a long silence. He looked to be very deep in thought, figuring out the right words to say. Suddenly, his phone rang. He looked at it and answered. "Hey Ma, what's up?... She's not? ... Oh, I thought you were supposed to pick her up. I'm on my way to get her now... I know, Ma, I know. I just thought you were supposed to pick her up, but I'm going to get her now." He hung up and told me he had to pick up his sister from school.

After Christian left, I replayed his words over and over in my head. I laid down on my bed and thought about what he meant when he said he didn't want me to leave.

My back felt incredibly sticky, so I decided to get in the shower and change into something more comfortable.

My mom arrived home first, as usual. I was always closer to my mom than my dad. My mom was such a warm and friendly woman. Her smile was always bright, she was always happy, and she was drop dead gorgeous. I could never imagine the odd pairing of her and my dad. He was always cold and stern, calculating, and businesslike. The only time I'd ever seen him warm up was when I was younger, playing around in our backyard, or when he was with my mother. Everything else, he sort of built this hard exterior around. I used to be really close to my dad, but we sort of drifted apart over the years. I can give him credit for trying to build back a relationship that we once had, but he often went about it the wrong way. He still expected me to be this little 7 year old that said "Yes, Daddy!" every time he told me to do something or suggest what I should do. I guess he hadn't come to terms with me making my own decisions and being my own person. I remember the first time I told him no as a teenager. I was around 15, and he wanted me to take one of his colleagues daughter out so he could make some kind of business proposal. First, I'm gay. I wasn't going to go on a make-believe date or pretend I was into some girl just so he could say that their kids had clicked. Secondly, I wasn't a tool for his successes and business endeavors. That's mainly where the rift came from between us. And then to top off the fact that I'm a homosexual, it doesn't really fit into his corporate world, so that caused even more of a divide.

My mom knocked on my door and came into my room. "So you're home today? Feels like I haven't seen you for the last two weeks."

"Yeah, mom, I'm here," I replied laughing. She sat down on my desk chair, and twisted her long raven hair amongst her fingers. "About this morning, your father just wants to spend more quality time with me. He's a very busy man, you know."

"I do know that, but every time you go on a trip, he wants for you two to be alone. I mean, you're my mom! It's gonna be your birthday! I wanna share that with you too, with Dad. Not just you two celebrating by yourselves. I'm a part of you both." I said, explaining to her how I felt about the situation.

"You two are like opposite ends of the spectrum. Always butting heads, but you're both so alike. You don't even see it yet, but one day you will. You'll look back and say I was so much like my father."

"I doubt that!"

"So, tell me about school? How was your day today?"

"It was interesting to say the least. Last night, I found out Harrison and Hunter were dating, and today, Cam and I told them that we knew they were together and they just decided to come out to the whole group. Crazy right? And I like all my classes so far. The only one I might have trouble in is Algebra III. I never get math."

"Well you know I'm a math whiz. I can do it in my sleep, so you can ask me, or I can hire a tutor for you. Just say the word. Any time you need something, you know never be afraid to ask. I would give you the world if I could."

My mother was always emotional when she talked about me. We had a long talk one day when I came out to her, around 14. She said she'd love me if I were blue, gray and purple all over with one eye. She told me how for years and years, she wanted a child and to be a mother, but it never happened. She told me she had 3 miscarriages, so she went to the doctor to see what was wrong and they told her that she was barren and she couldn't ever have children, so she'd probably have to adopt or be a foster parent. One sweet day, she found out she was pregnant and she was overjoyed, but also very scared that it wouldn't last, due to the past miscarriages. Everything planned out perfectly in the end and I arrived on time, no health defects, nothing. So I was her miracle child. She explained to me that she wasn't even upset with me being gay and it was her job as a mother to support me with whatever I did. I asked her about grandchildren, but she said she didn't even mind that part either. "I have an older brother who has kids, and a younger sister who has them also. If their kids decide to have kids, then I could always treat them as such." She was always so positive and she always could see the bright side of any situation, no matter how horrible. It was something I admired, and I wanted that happy outlook on things.

"Do you want to help me cook tonight, honey?" She asked me.

"I'll make a mess as usual, so I'll say no." I laughed, as she got up.

"You're such a princess! I'll call you down for dinner when I'm done."

My phone rang, and it was Cam, asking if he could spend the rest of the week over my house since Xang was with his mom in Palm Springs for the rest of the week. He didn't want to be home all alone, so I told him sure, I just had to let my mom know. I went downstairs, into the kitchen to find my mom with an apron on, with flour on her face and clothes.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who makes a mess," I hugged her for a bit. "What are you making?"

"Well I was trying to attempt to make a cheese souffle, but I can never get it the way your granny used to make it. I hate making souffle. I think I'm just gonna scrap this and go another route."

"Good thinking. Cam is coming over, so make sure you make enough for him also. He'll be here for the rest of the week."

"Okay, that's fine, Trace. I'm gonna try something else. Maybe risotto with asparagus and chicken. I'm learning some tips from Nickola."

"Good! I love her risotto! Cam will probably be over in 45 minutes. Will the food be done by then?"

"I'd hope so. Hopefully your father is here by then, too."

I walked back upstairs and turned on my laptop and went straight to iTunes. What do I do when I'm bored? Listen to music and play my guitar along with the music or my keyboard. I typed in Coldplay and played Trouble and walked over to my keyboard, playing the haunting melody over and over. Such a beautiful and emotional song.

"Oh no, I see a spider web, it's tangled up with me.
I've lost my head, and thought of all the stupid things I've said.
Oh no, what's this?
A spider web and I'm caught in the middle. I turn to run, and thought of all the stupid things I've done.
And I've never meant to cause you trouble.
I've never meant to do you wrong.
If I ever caused you trouble, no I never meant to do you harm."

I played along with Chris's voice, getting lost in the music. The song ended and next up was John Mayer's Half of My Heart. I played along on the piano with that melody, even though it was a guitar driven song.

"I was made to believe I'd never love somebody else.
Made the plans, stayed the man who can only love himself.
Lonely was the song I sang till the day you came. Showing me another way, and all that my love can bring.
Half of my heart's got a grip on the situation.
Half of my heart takes time.
Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you that I can't keep loving you with half of my heart.
Your faith is strong, but I can only fall short for so long.
Down the road, later on, you will hate that I never gave more to you than half of my heart.
But I can't stop loving you...
With half of my heart..."

The shuffle turned to Frank Ocean's American Wedding. I decided to sing along with this one and play, letting my voice glide over the alternative, smooth song.

"I took a walk through the palm trees, as the daylight fell.
Sangria in the canteen, talking to myself.
This tattoo on my left hand is turning purple-ish blue.
Daydreams of the romance, daydreams of you.
My pretty woman in a ballgown. I'm Richard Geere in a tux.
Getting married in a courthouse, writing vows in a rush.
Making out before the judge, with my teenage wife.
Got a wedding band done that I just might die with.
It's an American wedding. They don't mean too much, but we were so in love.
We had an American wedding.
What's mine is yours, that's American law.
M R S dot Kennedy, she signed her name in pen.
In a fancy, fancy cursive, she turned her term papers in.
A thesis on Islam and virgin brides and arranged marriage.
Hijabs and polygamist husbands, those poor un-American girls.
After school, she ran to me. Jumped in my 5.0
This is the land of the brave, home of the free, but your parents still didn't know. OH.
She said I've had a hell of a summer, so don't take this hard.
But maybe we should get an annulment before this goes way to far.
Just an American wedding.
They don't mean too much, they don't last enough.
We had an American wedding, now.
Now what's mine is yours, American divorce."

Just as I was hitting the huge note and getting lost in the music, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I nearly jumped out of my skin and screamed. It was only Cameron.

"You scared the f*ck out of me damn it! Don't do that again!" I said, turning off the music

"It was great. You should really try to get a record contract. I'd be your biggest fanboy." He said, cracking up and laughing.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. So you're staying here the entire week?"

"Yeah, I plan to," he sat on my bed, flipping through one of my notebooks.

"Oh, cool. Just don't bring Josh over here and we're good."

"I'm so over that. Whatever."

"Good for you then. So... I don't have anything really special planned really. I'm probably gonna bore you to death."

"You won't. I came over here to make it interesting for you." He smiled a hugely.

My mom came upstairs to let us know that my dad had come home and that dinner would be ready in about 10 minutes.

Cam and I washed our hands and headed downstairs to eat. We both set the table while my mom put the finishing touches on the meal.

My mom placed the food on the table and sat, followed by my dad. We had a comfortable dinner, with the conversation light and cheery. Cam even had the balls to ask my parents if we could have a glass of wine like they were having. My mom put up a good fight for us not to have any, but my dad said we were there in front of them drinking and we wouldn't be driving or going anywhere for the rest of the night, so there shouldn't be a problem. Finally, my mom relented and let us drink a glass of the Pinot Grigio that she cooked the creamy risotto with. The wine was light and fruity, not too acidic and just the right amount of tart and sweetness. It paired well with the roasted chicken, asparagus, and risotto.

After we ate, my mom and dad retreated to their safe-havens, the studio office for my mom and the upstairs office for my dad. Cam and I went back up to my room to watch tv and just hang out. After about an hour of Modern Marvels, I got bored, so I decided to get ready for bed. After I brushed my teeth I went back into my room, and Cam was watching porn. And the volume was turned up loud.

"Cameron, Really? Porn?" I said getting in the bed.

"Yeah! Come over and watch it with me. This dude is huge! Look, he's pounding those cakes! So sexy." He was really enjoying this.

"Whatever. I'm going to sleep. I don't care if you sleep in here or in the guest room, just don't cum on anything. I don't wanna have to clean up your dirty messes, slut." And with that, I grabbed my phone, turned on the music and drifted off to sleep.