Dead Fit - 10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

On Friday morning, my mom was up bright and early preparing for her day of delivering donations. By the time I had showered and dressed for work, Jeannette Parkerson, another of the Red Hat officers, was already sitting in our kitchen, drinking coffee and talking to my mom about their plan of attack.

“Good morning, Mrs. Parkerson,” I said and gave her a hug.

“Well, Jaysen, you just keep getting more and more handsome. I'll tell you, several of the Red Hat ladies have daughters and granddaughters who would just love to date you.”

I smiled at Mrs. Parkerson and looked to my mom, hoping she’d come to my rescue with something clever to say. As usual, she did. “Oh, Jeannette, Jaysen just finished school and needs to concentrate on his job for now. I'm sure when he's ready to date, he'll find that right person.”

“She'll be a lucky woman,” Mrs. Parkerson responded.

“Yes, whoever that person is, sure will be lucky,” my mom added.

I excused myself for work and left my mom and Mrs. Parkerson to continue with their planning. Situations like that were awkward for me, but I was used to them. I just hoped they weren't too uncomfortable for my mom.

It wasn't until Friday evening that I finally had a chance to talk to Ana about Brian. After work, neither Ana nor I had plans, so it wasn't tough convincing her to go with me to the Shipwreck, a hole-in-the-wall bar in downtown Long Beach, for a drink. We ordered a pitcher of import beer, picked up a few free appetizers, and found ourselves a quiet little booth.

“First of all, Ana, this conversation has to totally stay between you and me.” I don't know why I even bothered adding the disclaimer – our conversations always stayed between us.

Ana's eyes lit up, “You're seeing him, aren't you?”

It drove me crazy how well she knew me. “Yea, we've gone out twice.”

Ana shrieked with excitement, “I knew it, I knew it. I'm so happy for you!”

“It’s not like we’re getting married, Ana. We’ve just gone out a few times,” I said in a hushed tone, hoping she’d follow my lead and contain her enthusiasm.

Ana caught my subtle hint and said in a lower tone, “So, tell me about him. What’s he like?”

“He’s really cool, nothing like how I would have expected him to be. He’s definitely got money, but he’s not arrogant about it.”

“Can you see yourself with him in the long run?”

“I really don't know how to answer that question. I've never dated anyone else in my life, so I have no comparison. But so far, things seem to be going well.”

“So if things are going well, why do you look like you're stressed,” Ana asked.

Ana was right. My first two dates with Brian were great and I was excited that he wanted me to meet his friends at his party on Saturday. But there was one little concern lurking in the corner of my mind. “This is a little embarrassing to talk about, but I'm inexperienced when it comes to intimacy. You know? I don't know exactly what I'm doing or what he expects of me.”

“Oh my god, you make it sound so clinical,” Ana said with a grin. “So, how far have you gotten with him?”

“I've kissed him. Twice. On the lips.” There was a little guilt in my voice when I responded to her question.

“Jaysen, you're an adult. It's okay to kiss another consenting adult on the lips.”

“I know. You're right. But what if he wants to do more and I'm not ready?”

“My guess is he already knows you're a little green when it comes to love. I mean, come on, you've already been on two dates and all you've done is kiss. Other adults, gay or straight, would have hit the sack by now,” Ana said laughing.

Ana was having a good time at my expense and I felt a little defensive. I said, “Well, I'm not giving it up until I'm ready.”

“Calm down, Jaysen, I'm just giving you a hard time. It's really not that hard to read you. He probably already knows you're a little nervous when it comes to being physical and if he's still sticking around, that must mean he's okay with it. But if you're worried, you can always talk to him about it. If he’s cool like you think he is, he’ll respect you for it. If he’s doesn’t, maybe that’s a good sign that it wasn’t meant to be.”

Ana's words were reassuring to me. She expressed what I had already felt in my mind – if at any point Brian wanted to take our relationship faster than I was prepared to go, I had no problem making a quick exit.

I was done talking about me and turned the questions on Ana, “So, are you seeing anyone?”

“I'm done dating for a while. I think I need to get serious about my career and try to make something of myself. I was hoping to meet a man with money. So far all I've managed to attract are losers.” Ana took a gulp of her beer and continued, “I'm thinking about finding another job. I can't be a receptionist all my life. Maybe something that has opportunity for promotion.”

“Well, what is it that you want to do?”

“I don’t know, really. I never thought about it,” she muttered. “It just gets so frustrating. I'm gonna be thirty next year and I still don't have a real job.”

Ana was one of the sweetest people I knew. She was always making people feel better about life, encouraging them when things went wrong, cheering for them when things went right. Here she was having her own struggles and I was too self-absorbed in my pursuit of love to notice.

“Maybe this is a good chance for you to find a job that makes you happy and not one that just provides you with a paycheck and health insurance,” I suggested. “What do you like doing?”

Ana swished around beer in her mouth and swallowed, “It sounds corny, but I love helping people feel good. Part of the reason I like volunteering at the shelter is I can help women feel like they're important again, after being in an abusive relationship.”

“What about going to school for counseling,” I asked.

“Counseling doesn't appeal to me. It's all so medical, you know? I think I want to help people from a personal standpoint. I like what you and the other trainers do at the gym, but I really don't think I can stomach going to college for four or five years. I’m lucky I graduated from high school.”

“Well, what about asking Gary if you can teach some group fitness classes? You don't have to have a degree for that and you can still help people feel good.”

“You mean like aerobics or spin classes?” Ana thought about the suggestion and then said, “That's not a bad idea.”

The Shipwreck was starting to fill with the late night crowd. Some of the patrons could be a little rough around the edges, so we polished off our pitcher of beer and headed out.

As I walked Ana to her car, she asked, “So you really think it would be worth talking to Gary about teaching a class? He can be pretty pig-headed, you know.”

“The worst he could say is no. And you’d be right back where you are now. I think it’s a no-brainer, Ana. If he turns you down, we can go back to the drawing board and think of some other ideas for you.”

Ana hugged me and got into her car. “Thanks for the drink and the pep talk. I feel better already.” She shut her door and I watched her zip off.

I was hoping she felt better because of the pep talk and not the drink.