Dead Fit - 20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

On Sunday, I woke up at eight and got ready for my day with Brian. While I showered, I thought about my visit to St. Theresa's. The phone was clearly important to Todd – important enough for him to break in and try to retrieve it. I needed to figure out what information was on it that would drive him to burglarize a church. I had already tried replacing the battery, which was a dead end. It was probably time to take the phone to a tech expert, someone who could figure out why it wouldn’t turn on. Maybe all it needed was a watchamacallit or a thingamajig.

Before I left the house, I grabbed the smartphone and spare battery from my drawer and tucked it into my backpack. I'd spend my day with Brian and afterwards, find an electronics shop to try to repair the phone.

When I arrived at Brian's condo, it was quarter past nine and he was ready for breakfast. We kept the romance short with just a peck on the lips, and headed to Denney's.

After breakfast, Brian and I went to Bluff Park to play Frisbee. Bluff Park looked out to the Ocean, making it a popular destination for sun worshipers, people watchers, and the athletically inclined. This morning, we were lucky and had much of the park to ourselves.

Brian took off his long sleeve button up. Underneath, he was wearing the blue Quicksilver t-shirt he brought the first night we went out. Seeing it made me think of more innocent times, before Derek had warned me about Todd's investigation, and before I found out Brian and Todd used to date. Funny how just two weeks could alter my perspective on things.

We tossed the Frisbee for over an hour until the crowds filtered into the park, invading our space. So, continuing our theme of exercise, we headed down to the water to walk along the shoreline.

We kept a brisk pace during our walk. There were few people walking near us, so I thought it was an opportune time to ask Brian about Todd. In a deviation from my normally indirect style of asking questions, I asked, “Why didn't you tell me Todd used to be your boyfriend?”

“What,” Brian asked. My strategy worked. He seemed legitimately caught off-guard by my question.

I repeated myself, this time adding a few qualifiers, “Why is it that we've had several conversations about Todd, but you've never mentioned to me that you two dated?”

Brian looked confused and asked, “Is there some reason you're bringing this up now?”

“Yesterday, I bumped into someone who was at your party and it just came up in our conversation that you and Todd had dated,” I responded. Brian gave me a puzzled look and I said, defensively, “Your friend just offered the information. I didn’t ask.”

Brian thought for a moment, then shrugged his shoulders, “I guess it never really crossed my mind to tell you Todd and I were together. You and I are together now and I didn't really see what difference it made in our relationship.”

Brian seemed like he was being completely honest in his response and I thought I should be, too. “I guess what bothers me is you could’ve told me. It’s not like we haven’t had conversations about Todd before. Especially the night I met Todd at your party, you knew I was upset at the way he treated me. But you never mentioned it and it feels a little icky having to hear it from someone else.” Icky. Nice choice of words, Jaysen.

“I'm sorry you heard about it from someone else, Jaysen. I will admit the night you and Todd first met and you were bothered by him, I wondered if I should have just said something to you then. But I thought if I could just get you two together, you would see that he's actually a good guy. That's why I had the three of us go out together a few days later. You seemed to have a good time with him, so I assumed it would be a moot point for me to tell you that we dated. Is anything I’m saying helping or should I just shut up while I’m ahead?”

I smiled. He could make me laugh even when we were having a serious conversation. “Everything you said makes sense to me. Maybe since you’re the first guy I’ve ever dated, I don’t really know what to expect and maybe you just need to tell me when I’m out of line or being silly.”

“Baby, I don't think you're being silly. I care about you and if something is upsetting you, we need to figure it out. But one thing’s for sure. We're not going to have this conversation again. If you're bothered by not having known that Todd and I used to date, all I can say is I'm sorry. I didn't purposefully hide it from you; it just never crossed my mind that we needed to talk about it. But, if you have a problem with Todd being my ex, I can't really help you there. It's a fact that we dated. I can't change that.” Brian paused and then asked, “Is there something specific that bothers you knowing that Todd and I dated?”

Now that I had a chance to speak to him, I felt reasonably assured that Brian didn't intentionally neglect to tell me about his past with Todd. It really did seem like, to use his words, something that never crossed his mind.

The only reason left for me to be bothered by their past relationship was Todd’s pending criminal investigation. I desperately wanted to ask Brian if he broke up with Todd because he caught him doing something illegal. We seemed to be having an honest conversation and perhaps he'd be willing to spill the beans on Todd. But, I promised Derek I wouldn’t talk to Brian about it. No matter how badly I wanted to, I couldn't betray Derek's trust.

“No, nothing specific comes to mind,” I fibbed.

Brian was quiet for a moment, then said, “I'm not convinced you're being completely honest with me, baby, but I don't want to push you, either.” I really needed to polish my skills in lying. It was bad enough Ana could see through me, but now my boyfriend, too?

We finished our walk and headed back to Brian's condo. For a late lunch, he fixed up some sandwiches and a bowl of fruit. When we were through with our meal, I asked, “Hey, since you're the first person I've ever dated, did our conversation this afternoon constitute a fight?”

“Not exactly. Nothing was thrown at each other. We weren't shouting. And neither of us was really mad. I think it was more of a serious discussion.” Brian grinned at me, “But if you want to have make-up sex, I'm more than happy to classify it as a fight.”

“When you put it that way, maybe I'll just consider it a serious discussion.”

Brian laughed. “I'm going to hop in the shower. Feel free to hang around.”

While Brian showered, I hung out on his balcony, soaking up the sun and watching people walk along the beach. After half an hour, I went back inside the condo to grab my cell phone. I was wondering if Sister Ann Marie had called with additional information about the break-in.

I looked at the phone’s screen. Nope, no phone call from the Sister. But as I dug around my backpack, I saw Todd's smartphone, which reminded me I still needed to find an electronics shop to see if they could revive the phone. I was anxious to get going, so I poked my head in Brian's bedroom to see if he was done showering.

The water was still running. Brian left the door to his bathroom open and I angled around the room trying to see if I could catch a glimpse of him in the mirror. Nope. No such luck. The shower had fogged the mirror and the glass shower stall. No free peep show for me.

I did find an alternate to put a smile on my face, though. Brian's blue Quicksilver t-shirt was on the floor to his room. I picked it up and smelled it for his familiar scent. The shirt was slightly damp from his sweat and it mixed with the scent of his body wash and cologne. It brought back a sense of comfort that I wanted to be able to enjoy at a later time, so I slipped the shirt in my backpack. I promised myself as soon as his scent wore off the t-shirt, I'd return it to him. I wasn't really stealing it; just borrowing it. Besides, I rationalized, I was under a lot of stress right now and I knew Brian would be willing to do whatever it took to help me feel better – even giving up the shirt off his back for a little while.

When Brian was done showering, he came out to the living room wearing only a towel. It took all of my will power not to accidentally undo the knot that held the towel around his waist. I'm sure he wouldn't have minded. But we'd be moving into new territory in our relationship and I wasn't prepared for it. At least not today.

We made plans to see each other on Thursday night and I took off.

* * * * *

The smartphone was an LG, but the phone didn't indicate Todd’s carrier of phone service. There were only a handful of carriers and all had retail stores within a few miles drive. I could try them all, but since it was Sunday, some of them were probably closed. I figured my best bet was to return to Best Buy, where I purchased the replacement battery. They always seemed to have knowledgeable employees and one of them could hopefully get the phone back to life.

When I went to the mobile phone section of the store, the same sales staff who helped me purchase the battery was standing idly by the cash register. He looked bored and I thought it would be rather nice of me to give him something to occupy his time.

“I was here earlier in the week. You helped me buy a replacement battery for my smartphone.”

“Sure, I remember you,” he said. “If you're back, I take it the new battery didn't work.”

“No, it didn't, but I'm not sure if it’s the battery or the phone.”

“I can run a diagnostic and if it is the phone, we can figure out what component needs to be replaced. This will take just a few minutes.”

The sales agent connected the smartphone to a cable, then plugged the cable into a computer. The computer made some beeps and the agent clicked through a few computer screens. It all looked very impressive, but as far as I was concerned, just a dog-and-pony show if I couldn't access information on the phone.

After a few minutes, he said to me, “Well, the bad news is this phone has no chance of revival. The motherboard in this smartphone is complete fried. The good news is I can give you a refund on your battery, less a 10% restocking fee.”

“Let's say I replaced the motherboard. Is there a way I could retrieve information on this phone?”

The agent looked at me, his lip curled in disgust. “Uh, no, the motherboard is where the information would have been stored. When I say your device is dead, I mean it is completely dead.”

Satisfied the smartphone had no chance for revival, I took my money and the phone and left Best Buy. Before I started the ignition, I sat in my car and tried to see the positive in the situation. My efforts today weren't all in vain. I now had confirmation from a techie that all information on the phone was gone. And, I had my cash for the week, which I shoved into my backpack along with the phone. It would be my lunch money.

When I got home, the front door was unlocked. For a second, I experienced cognitive dissonance and thought my parents were back from their vacation. I looked around the house for a few moments before remembering they weren't due back for another week. I came to the conclusion I had left the front door unlocked. Nice going, Jaysen. Way to leave the place wide open for a burglar. All of this detective work was wearing me down and I was forgetting little details in my life.

I spent the rest of my evening watering the lawn, scrubbing the bathroom, and doing laundry. By eight, I was ready for bed. There was really no reason for me to be so tired, I really didn't do anything physically or mentally taxing.

I ate a bowl of Frosted Flakes for dinner, something I would never encourage my clients to do. The refined sugar and processed grains would sit in my system all night, with most of the calories going right to my gut. I didn’t care, though, I was tired and ready to call it a night. I completed my nightly dental routine, grabbed Brian’s t-shirt from my backpack, and crawled into bed with it. His scent was still on his t-shirt, and it briefly put a smile on my face.

As I cuddled with Brian's shirt, I admitted to myself that I wasn't just tired, I was straight up depressed. I had a bad week and I didn’t think it was going to get better anytime soon. I screwed up at work, and because of that, Gary doubted my ability to continue working as a personal trainer. To make matters worse, I doubted my ability, too.

Then there was the situation with Ana. She had always been a good friend to me. I trusted her and told her things I would never tell others. Her advice for me was always right on. But, when she turned to me for advice, I made her situation worse.

What was really beating me down, though, was my relationship with Brian. Things weren't going as well as I hoped. Actually, they sucked.

Brian was my ideal boyfriend: handsome, athletic, intelligent, caring. I was the one making our relationship difficult, with all of my insecurities. His past with Todd bothered me, especially since I felt like he hid it from me. Maybe not purposefully, but he still hid it, nonetheless.

And, of course, the matter of Todd’s criminal investigation was looming over our relationship. Enough bizarre things happened in the last few days that made me realize Derek was right to warn me about Todd. First, he got Brian involved in his mess by asking him to get the smartphone back from me. Then, when Todd thought I didn’t have it anymore, he burglarized the Thrift Shop, trying to get it back. All this pointed to Todd being trouble, just like Derek said.

For this being a first-time relationship, it almost seemed like there was more working against us than working for us. Perhaps Derek was right when he said I should just let Brian go. There would be other people for me. Surely I could find another guy out there in Long Beach, preferably one who didn’t have a sociopath for a best friend.

Eventually, my thoughts grew cloudy, my eyes felt heavy, and I fell asleep. There was something comforting about hugging Brian’s t-shirt, his scent working its way deep into the subconscious, and I slept better that night than I had the entire week.