Daniel & Thomas - 1. Chapter 1

A New start

In the winter of 1997 we moved to a new home in a new city, I had only just
turned eleven. My mother had passed away less than a month previously,
leaving my father and I to get on with our lives, without her. Apart from
my dad I have two grandmothers, one that lives not far from our new home
and the other lives overseas. My mother passing away had a profound affect
on both dad and I, as it was completely unexpected. From the time that mum
became ill until she passed away, was less than 6 months. Looking back now
it seems to me that for the rest of 1997 and most of 1998 dad and I existed
in a vacuum. In case I haven't already mentioned it, my name is Daniel. On
my last birthday I turned sixteen and I am very happy to report that life
has improved somewhat since I was eleven.

August 1997, my dad was to upset about my mother to give a lot of thought
to choosing the right school for me to continue my education. The final
selection really came down to a school that was within walking distance
from our new home, rather then one that offered the subjects I was most
interested in. So in the last week of the term, Dad and I arrived at the
school, where upon I was assessed and placed into my new class. Due to the
erratic nature of my schooling, as a result of having moved around a lot,
the school councilor kept me down in the middle average level. That was
until such time as they could assess my performance. Basically there were 7
classes in year 5, I was placed in a class, in year 5 level 4.

As there was only one week before the school term ended, it was decided
that I would start classes at the beginning of the next term, in three
weeks time. I spent the week exploring my new home and the surrounding
area. Not far from where we live there is a skating park. During the week,
I pretty much had the park to myself as all the other kids were still in
their last week of school. Apart from the occasional older kid and the odd
adult, the place was deserted, which suited me as I had the ramps and jumps
all to myself. Each day I would exhaust myself skateboarding, it was
better than being at home where dad's solemn mood reminded me too much of
our recent loss. Being tired every night also helped me to get to
sleep. Sleeping was something I was starting to have trouble with.

That last week of the school term seemed to drag on forever, but like all
things the week finally ended. On Saturday morning the park was
transformed, where as before it was totally deserted, now it was packed
solid with kids. It became a challenge just crossing the tarmac without
being collected by a roller blader, or a cyclist or skate boarder. After
sitting and watching the others for an hour or so I finally decided to
leave, it was simply too crowded. The only problem was I had to cross the
park to get back home, I waited until I thought it was safe and then bolted
for the other side. I nearly made it to.

Just as I bent down to pick up my skateboard, someone collided with me. The
next thing I remember is laying on my back, spread eagle on the ground, a
searing pain in my side. A crowd of people had gathered around me,
concerned looks on their faces.

"Ooh God I think I killed him," I heard someone say just before I opened my
eyes and tried to focus.

" No, no, he's waking up, look," said someone else.

" Are you ok? Man I am so sorry, it was an accident, dude are you ok,
answer me dude!" the first voice said.

The only problem was I couldn't answer because the wind had been knocked
out of me, so instead I nodded to him as I tried to sit up, which was a big
mistake, the pain shot up into my ribs and made me drop back down onto the
pavement.

" Don't try and sit up, I think you might have broken something," said the
first guy, concern in his voice.

Around about then I started to cry Crying was something I had been doing a
lot of lately. I tried to stop the tears, but I just couldn't.

The kid that had been comforting me leaned over me and said, "please man
don't cry its going to be alright, I promise, you're just winded."

It was five minutes before I felt well enough to sit up and rest against
the log at the edge of the pavement. As it was obvious that I wasn't going
to die, the excitement died down and the other kids slowly headed back onto
the pavement and resumed their skate boarding and roller blading, leaving
only me and the kid that had run me over sitting there. For the first time
I got a good look at him, he seemed to be about my age, maybe a little
older, he had a smile that lit up his whole face, and the bluest of blue
eyes.

He took his helmet off to reveal a crop of blond hair, not as white blond
as mine, more a yellow blond color. "Hi my name is Thomas," he said as he
reached out and grabbed my hand, shaking it vigorously, causing yet another
stabbing pain to shoot down into my rib cage.

"Hi. I'm Daniel" I replied shyly, blushing a little with embarrassment.

"Nice to meet you Danny, ooh man I thought I had killed you there for a
moment, like where did you come from, didn't you see me at all?" he asked,
firing questions at me.

"Its Dan or Daniel and how come you didn't see me, what are you blind or
something?" I retorted angrily.

The moment I said it, I felt bad as I was being mean for no reason. It was
an accident after all, and probably more my fault then his. Thomas looked
angry for a second but then the smile returned to his face. "Feisty little
dude aren't you, how old are you, nine?" He asked without a hint of sarcasm
in his voice.

My cheeks flushed red, " I'm eleven," I said, as I glared fixedly at him
with what I hoped was my toughest look.

For a moment he looked like he was considering calling me a liar, but then
decided not to, " how come I haven't seen you at school? I mean you do live
around here don't you?"

I explained to him that we had only just moved here a couple of weeks ago
and that I wouldn't be starting at School until next term. Thomas asked me
what class I would be in and when I told him he smiled broadly.

"Way cool dude, that's the class I am in, hey what a story man, this is
like destiny, us meeting like this," he laughed.

"If this is the way you meet strangers I hate to see how you greet old
friends," I said, a smile threatening to show on my face.

Thomas helped me to stand up, I lifted up my tee shirt and we both grimaced
at the ugly purple bruise that was forming around my middle. "I better help
you get home dude, those ribs look pretty bad. Where do you live?"

'Just around the corner, there, " I pointed down the street, "But there
isn't anyone home at the moment my dad is out"

Thomas looked at me with a concerned expression on his face, "well you
better come home with me in that case, I don't want you to like die or
anything, they might throw me in jail for murder"

"Ooh thanks don't worry about me, just bury me by the side of the road
someplace," I said sarcastically.

Thomas put his arm around my shoulder to support me as we started walking,
"Naa I wouldn't do that, to much work, there's an old quarry near the
railway, I'll just dump your body there."

"Gee. Don't like put yourself out or anything" I said.

We left the Skate Park in the opposite direction to which I had arrived, by
now my ribs hurt so badly I had to lean on Thomas for support. We hobbled
for about five hundred yards to his place. When I looked up at his house
for the first time, I thought it was very impressive. His mum was standing
out front watering the garden.

"Thomas! What's happened? Who have you got there with you and what's the
matter with him," a concerned expression on her face.

"This is Danny.. errh I mean Dan and he and I had a little collision but he
is like totally cool, just needs a band aid or something on his ribs,"
making light of the accident that nearly killed me.

Thomas mum dropped the hose and walked over to us, she put her arm around
me and led me towards the back of the house, "let's get you inside Dan and
have a look hey!"

I groaned when she accidentally touched my bruised ribs. We got into the
kitchen and she sat me down on a chair and lifted my tee shirt off me to
inspect my injuries. "Ooh goodness, you really have hurt yourself haven't
you? "

I must have looked as if I was about to cry because Thomas mum reach over
and brushed the hair out from in front of my eyes and assured me that I was
going to be ok, I didn't feel like I was going to be ok. After some painful
poking and prodding she decided that I had no broken bones.

"I think your only bruised Dan, but just the same you better let me
telephone your mum and tell her what's happened.

When she mentioned my mum, my resolve evaporated completely and my eyes
moistened, "its ok I will be fine thanks, I had better get going though." I
said, my voice croaky, as I tried unsuccessfully to put my shirt back on,
getting my head tangled up in the sleeves. I tried to cover my face with my
shirt so they wouldn't see me crying.

"Its ok Dan, its ok, I will explain to your mum, are you worried that she
will be mad at you? " she asked innocently.

I slumped back down into the chair, and looked up at them, they probably
thought I was crazy. A fat tear rolled down my cheek, I couldn't bring my
self to speak, I tried to, but the words just wouldn't come out.

Thomas mum knelt down in front of me and she wiped the tear from my cheek,
"what's the matter Dan? Its ok you can tell me, " she said, probably
thinking that my mum was some sort of horrible monster that would beat me,
for getting hurt in the park.

I stared down at my sneakers and watched a tear splash onto the tiled
floor. " My mother died a few weeks ago, there is only me and dad now" I
stuttered, as tears rolled down my cheeks.

"ooh dear, you poor thing" she said as she reached out and pulled me into a
hug.

I felt like an absolute fool, here I was in a stranger's house being hugged
by a kid's mother, who I didn't even know. But as hard as I tried, I just
could not pull my self together, the tears just wouldn't stop, I hadn't
bawled like that since the funeral.

Eventually I did stop crying and managed to pull myself together, however I
couldn't look Thomas in the eye, I was too embarrassed. Thomas was also
looking away, at the time I thought that was because he thought I was a
dork. It wasn't until a lot later in our friendship that I realized Thomas
finds it hard to express his emotions sometimes.

Thomas mum tried telephoning our house, but my dad wasn't at home, so
Thomas asked his mum if it was ok for me to stay for lunch, and if we could
eat lunch up in his room. She said it was ok, but no rough housing, as she
was worried about my ribs. I followed Thomas up to his bedroom, which
unlike mine was packed full of all sorts of neat stuff, the walls were
plastered with posters, everything from football players to star wars
pictures, I thought it was the coolest room I had ever been in. Thomas even
had his own computer. A big red sign on the door to his bedroom warns,
BEWARE OF THE DOG ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK...

Sitting on his bed, I was still feeling bad about crying as Thomas showed
me his collection of computer games; he must have sensed my unease, because
eventually he turned around and looked at me.

"I don't know what I would do if something happened to my mum, don't feel
bad, about being upset Dan, If I were in your situation I would probably be
a basket case."

I looked at Thomas trying to sound cheery, " yeah well maybe I was a basket
case before that happened?"

"Now that I have no trouble believing, you're a walking disaster area, I
mean like who knows how many people you might have injured if I hadn't
thrown you to the ground to protect you from yourself." He laughed.

"Well don't do me any more favors, I am still hurting from the last one" I
giggled.

Sometime between running into me at the skate park and sitting in his room
eating lunch and playing computer games, we became friends, it was to early
to say best friends, but we were on the right path. Thomas and I have
vastly different personalities and physically we are different also, still,
it didn't occur to either one of us that we should be anything other then
friends. The one thing we both have in common is our sense of humor, very
dry and mostly sarcastic. Physically, even at eleven Thomas was showing the
signs of being well built, while I still had a boyish body, Thomas was
already starting to show muscle, especially around his stomach. Mine was
soft and pliable his was firm and muscular.

Later in the afternoon Thomas mum drove me home, where she met my father at
the door. Dad invited her in to our house for a cup of coffee and while he
made drinks she explained to him what had happened at the Skate Park. Dad
had me take my shirt off so he could examine the damage caused by the
collision with Thomas. For a moment he looked worried, until he realized I
was only bruised. Dad became very embarrassed when Thomas mum offered him,
her condolences for the death of my mother. Dad thanked her and assured her
that we were managing just fine, obviously he knew something I didn't.

Later, as she left to go home, my dad thanked Thomas Mum for helping me and
promised to telephone her in the morning to let her know that I was ok. She
left, probably thinking that these guys really could use some help. Three
weeks since we had moved into our house and packing boxes were still
stacked up in the lounge room. What she didn't know was that the boxes
contained all of my mother's things, and neither dad nor I could bring our
selves to unpack them.

By the time school started, Thomas and I, were inseparable, it seemed every
day I was over at his place or Thomas at ours. Thomas parents have a
swimming pool and I was very keen to try it out, but being winter, it was
still way too cold. I also got to meet his older sister Jessica, who is
very cool, well as cool as a girl could be to an 11 year old boy.

Thomas and I remained close friends right through until the end of year
5. From year 6 onwards we were no longer sharing the same classes, as I was
considered to be bright enough to be placed in class 1. Thomas however
always remained in about level 4. Even though we didn't see each other
during class it had no impact on our friendship as we still saw each other
every lunchtime and on the weekends. Our families grew closer and closer
together, until eventually Thomas family became like my extended
family. During the holidays I would go away with Thomas family or every
other holiday Thomas would come with dad and I. During the holidays with
my dad we did mostly boy things, like skiing, camping and sailing, so
Thomas loved to come with us, dad allowed us a lot more freedom then his
parents.

I guess it would have been around thirteen when we first started to
discover our bodies. By the time I reached thirteen I was already so in
love with Thomas, though I didn't really understand what love meant. All
that I knew is that when he was sad, I was sad and when he was happy I was
ecstatic. I would do anything to make him smile. Thomas could have had huge
zits and been as fat as an elephant and I wouldn't have cared less,
although he wasn't anything like that. In fact he was so perfect, his body
was extremely well proportioned and strong. Through out the last couple of
years he had maintained his love of sports. I enjoyed sports, but was not
that good at them. While I excelled at school Thomas more than made up for
that shortcoming as an athlete and as expected had the body to match.

Getting undressed for swimming or sports, I had noticed that by thirteen
Thomas had already started to grow pubic hair and his penis was already
much larger then mine. For a while I thought that there was something
seriously wrong with me, I didn't even show signs of developing pubic hair
or even hair on my legs for that matter. When I finally worked up the
courage to speak to my dad about it, he laughed and reassured me that there
was nothing wrong with me. Dad said that some boys go through puberty as
young as 11 others not until they were as old as 15, he said that he hadn't
started growing body hair until he was 15. This was a truly depressing
thought for me at age thirteen.

That night for the first time I stood naked in front of the mirror in the
bathroom and closely looked at myself. What I saw reflected in the mirror
didn't seem all that bad. It was true I was on the skinny side, and a
little short but no more so then the average height of kids in my
class. The worst thing I could see was that instead of looking tough or
handsome I looked well kind of feminine. I flattened my nose with the palm
of my hand to see if that made me look tough, but the thought of having my
nose broken was not to appealing. While Thomas hair had darkened over the
years mine was still almost white blond. Thomas has eyes that are a
masculine blue. My eyes are a watery green. I ran my hands slowly down over
my chest feeling for muscles, they were there ok, but my torso was that of
a boy not a young man, the longer I looked the more depressed I became.

I reached down idly stroking my penis, recently I had discovered the
wonders of masturbation and I wasn't wasting any time getting acquainted
with my dick. Even though it was not near as large as Thomas was, I wasn't
altogether unhappy with it. Mostly due to the fact that my penis had grown
half an inch over the summer holidays, at this rate, it would be a foot
long by the time I was 16. I chuckled to myself at the very thought.

As usual it didn't take long for my dick to become fully hard as I pulled
the skin back and forth over the head, I watched myself in the mirror. The
feelings became more intense, so I rubbed harder and faster closing my
eyes, with my other hand I squeezed and pinched my nipples, which stiffened
and became erect. In my mind I was picturing Thomas body, the more I
thought about him the more excited I became. Soon I couldn't take it any
longer, I rubbed faster and faster, and suddenly my whole body tensed, I
experienced that amazing feeling when your breath stops for a split second
and you feel the electric shock of an orgasm as it floods through you. I
bit down hard on my lip to suppress my scream while the most intense
feeling I had yet experienced hit me. I saw light explode behind my eyes, I
felt dizzy and had to lean against the vanity basin or risk falling
over. As I rubbed even harder, all of a sudden I felt it, for the first
time in my young life I felt cum push out from within me.

For a little while I stood there leaning against the cabinet, gasping for
breath. When I looked down I saw the clear fluid on my hands and a small
amount on the door of the vanity cabinet where I had squirted my load. I
brought my fingers up to my nose and sniffed the clear fluid, it didn't
seem to have any smell. I stood there for a while to catch my breath.

Feeling a bit grossed out by the whole thing, I decided to take a shower, I
stood with my eyes closed relaxing and letting the hot jets of water splash
over me, the heat was turning my skin pink. Suddenly my eyes snapped open
as a realization hit me. For the first time since I had met Thomas I
realized that I not only loved him as a friend but also wanted him in some
other way, that I was not yet able to understand. I knew that it was the
thought of his body that made me cum, I knew I wanted to do something about
it but I had no idea what or how. At age thirteen, I wasn't totally
naive I had heard kids at school call guys faggots and stuff like
that. I understood that it was an acronym for being homosexual. All I
really understood about homosexuals was that it meant that you have a
boyfriend instead of a girlfriend. I didn't know much beyond that. For the
first time in my life the thought entered my mind that perhaps I was a
homosexual or a faggot? After all I had just masturbated over thoughts of
my best friends body.

My first reaction was shock, closely followed by disgust and then
anger. What sort of a friend am I? Thomas who has been here for me nearly
every day since coming to this place, my best friend Thomas who only ever
showed me friendship and affection and I was lusting after his body,
treating him like he was some glossy picture in the magazines that I
masturbated over. That started me thinking about the magazines, the
pictures were always girls, but my thoughts were always about Thomas and I
pashing with them, what was really turning me on? Was it the girls or the
thought of Thomas? That night lying on my side in bed looking at the
picture on my bedside table, Thomas with his arm around me on a skiing
holiday, I couldn't but help think about what might become of me...

Continued in chapter two, Thomas and confessions.