The Watch - 8. Chapter 8

They slept all morning only waking up once so Andrew could apply some ointment to Josh's freshly plowed ass. It helped some but when Josh woke up and walked to the bathroom he still had a void feeling from his stretched hole. After showering getting dressed, the three of them walked into the next room where a cold breakfast of fruit, cereal, and yogurt waited for them.

It was on the drive back to the store that Robert told Josh that he had one last surprise for him. This got Josh excited and nervous. They had already given him the cloths, watch, bracelet, a now two thirds of the costs of a new house. What more could they give him? What ever it was waiting for him at the store.

When they entered this time, a long table loaded with boxes and suitcases replaced the circular platform. Standing in the middle and behind the table, dressed in a formal butler's attire was Patrick grinning from ear to ear.

"Josh I would like to present your personal assistant." Robert said as he waved his hand at Patrick.

Josh walked over and gave Patrick a handshake but was pulled into a hug by the man.

"Glad to finally meet you brother." Patrick said into Josh's shocked ear as Patrick released his hug.

"Brother?" Josh said not sure how he was to feel about the news.

"Well half brother. I was your mother's first child."

"I don't understand?"

"Your mother got pregnant in high school. Patrick was the result. Because of how things were back in those days, your mother gave him up for adoption." Robert explained.

"How did you find out?"

"I didn't, Mrs. Williams did. This is her birthday gift to you."

"Wow. I don't know what to say."

"Thank you would be good but don't worry about paying for it. She threatened bodily harm if I forced her to take a check." Andrew laughed

"All right, I'll be sure to send her some flowers when we get back." Josh decided.

"I think she would like that." Robert agreed.

"Gosh now I feel embarrassed. My own brother washed my ass."

"And it is a cute ass at that. But don't worry I can touch but not fuck." Patrick laughed at his younger brother's embarrassment.

"All right... I guess. So the sixth bedroom is for Patrick?" Josh asked Robert.

"Yes, I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all. It will be good to have a brother again. I have so much I need to ask you Patrick."

"And we'll have plenty of time to ask BROTHER." Patrick said with enthuses being able to use the word.

"Yes BROTHER, we will." Josh agreed before giving Patrick a hug of his own.

It turned out that Patrick was going to be more then just Josh's personal assistant. Being a registered nurse and having a degree in education, he was also to help raise the kids, one of them Nathan, being his nephew. With all of his pretend uncles in Andrew and Robert, it was good to be able to show Nathan a real uncle for a change.

The next week the promotions were announced and once again Glenn and Kyle did not make partner. The best the firm offered them was the title "special senior associates" and a 5% raise. Neither one of them were amused. They were also too old to start over at a new firm with any hope of making partner before they were approaching their sixties. This only left them one option, form a firm of their own. The problem was that they needed enough fellow "partners" to make it work. And so the great campaign to get Josh to join up with them began.

If they could just get Josh everything would fall into place. Josh made enough money from his billing to support a new firm though the rough early years. Josh also had influence on his lovers and friends that he could bring other people to join with them. Glenn knew that Robert would never leave his post at the firm unless Josh left; he just made too much money. Yet, he was crucial to Glenn's plan. Most of the companies that worked with the firm rarely saw their lawyer most of the time. Robert, head of public relations, was the face of the firm. He was the one that wine and dined the customers and he was also the one that knew all their personality quirks. If anyone could convince the clients to take the jump with them to a new firm it was Robert.

Getting Josh also meant getting Andrew from across the street. He too would leap at the opportunity to be able to work with Josh. Adding another corporate attorney would also help Kyle expand his work in that field.

Finally, with all their friends in similar shape, Glen and Kyle knew that they could convince some of them if they knew that Josh and Andrew were both going to join the firm. Both had developed good reputations early in their careers and were well respected. Having them on board helped remove the bad reputation Glenn had developed, not as a person but as a lawyer who played dirty during civil trials. Glenn was competitive and he played to win even when he knew in his heart that he shouldn't. He tried to justify what he did as all being part of the legal system but he knew that his digging up of dirt, while made the Williams rich, also disgusted them and his fellow lawyers. That is why Glenn had never been as concerned as Kyle on making partner. Deep down Glenn didn't feel he deserved it.

The plan was simple. To wine, dine, and charm Josh into submission. If it required them telling Josh all the dirt they had on Robert they were willing to do it. If they had to stand on their heads while singing "I'm a Little Tea Pot" they would do that also. Robert told Josh that he should make them grovel on their bellies and they were willing to do that also. Except for sex or murder both of them were willing to do anything and Glenn was even willing to consider bodily harm while Kyle was willing to do a strip tease but because neither partner was willing to do the same, they took that off the table.

Knowing that Robert would have too much fun in his friends' predicament Josh went over to heir house alone. He didn't even have a chance to knock on the door when it opened with Glenn holing a wine glass and Kyle presenting him with a tray of salmon mousse on toast.

"It's all right you two." Josh said reassuringly as he saw the nervous looks on his friends' faces.

"We just want you to feel comfortable." Glenn said with care.

"We don't want you to feel like we're pressuring you or anything." Kyle added.

"For some reason I think that will be impossible on both counts." Josh laughed to help ease the tension.

"Well I think you know that you have all the power here. We can't leave with out your help and you have no reason to leave since you for certain WILL make partner or at least they would be crazy not to make you one." Glenn confessed.

"So what are you offering?" Josh asked, straight to the point.

"Well you'll automatically be partner and receive a cut of the profits after your billing and regular salary."

"I know that but I guess rightly that it will still be less then what I make now."

"Well at first yes." Kyle admitted feeling their chances shrink.

"What else?"

"You get more freedom to set your own schedule. You can also work more from home if you want." Glenn thought up after a lot of desperate searching.

"You'll also have the honor of knowing you own our asses." Kyle said with pleading eyes.

"Hey I thought I own your ass." Glenn complained.

"You do hon. I was talking figuratively."

"All right." Glenn said relieved

"Well I guess you two leave me no choice." Josh said gloomily.

"You wont abandon ship with us." Glenn said with equal gloom.

"No, I sound gloomy cause I have to be crazy to be joining both of you in this madness. Josh laughed when he saw the sad look of his friends' faces."

"But why?" Kyle asked confused. Nothing they had said would of convinced him if he was in Josh's shoes.

"Because both of you are my friends and I know how hard both of you will work to make this work."

"So it was nothing we said."

"No, it was who you are."

"I don't know if I should be happy or depressed by that comment." Kyle moaned.

"Why?" Josh asked.

"Well we ARE lawyers after all. We were suppose to present you with a convincing argument."

"Trust me Kyle just you being you is enough to convince me."

To say that the partners of the firm were happy to see Kyle, Glenn, and Robert go would be an understatement. To say that they were only a little mad at seeing Josh go with them would be an out right lie. They offered to make Josh a partner after five more years but Josh still turned them down. For Josh this was not a career issue but a family issue since he viewed Glenn and Kyle as almost family. As a result none of their pleading worked so they turned to threats.

Josh had to make several calls to try to keep his clients but many of them were not convinced that they should stay with him. This called for some serious convincing and that meant Robert needed to go on a road trip. Robert made his goodbye at his apartment in private with Josh. They spent the whole night making love, talking and just enjoying each other's company. As they said goodbye Robert handed Josh his keys so the movers could more his stuff over to the new house. The trip was to take six weeks to finish, as Robert needed to see all of the other lawyers' clients as well as Josh's. Neither of then knew or planned that their separation would last a lot longer then six weeks.

It had been a month since Josh, Andrew and Patrick moved into the new house and a pattern had developed. Josh and Andrew would wake up early, make some coffee, call Robert, and go to work. Patrick finished off the coffee and made the children's breakfast before taking them to daycare. He would then spend the day cleaning the house or balancing the checkbooks before joining Josh and Andrew for lunch before spending the afternoon on his own. When work was done, Josh or Andrew would pick up the kids and make dinner. They would then play with the kids before sending them to bed.

It was during the private time that occurred after the kids were asleep and Patrick was still out that Josh and Andrew made love. For some reason both of them preferred having sex in the living room instead of the bed. It would start with them resting on the couch and progress to kissing and caressing until they were naked, bodies pressed against each other. While sex with Robert was frantic, sex with Andrew took on a much slower pace. It was as if they were relearning how each other looked and felt each time they made love. It involved a lot more touching, licking, and kissing in comparison to the intense fucking and sucking Robert preferred. In fact a few times they would just jack the other off but mostly they would slowly suck each other in the 69 that Andrew taught Josh how to do.

After making love, they would then wash each other off and go to Josh's bed to sleep with the hope of avoiding Patrick's trick of the night. They had set up one rule after the first week living together. Patrick was not to bring strangers over to the house until after the children's bedtime. They set this rule after many questions and confused stares when Patrick's friend for the night would come in during dinner. Until Patrick was settled down with one man, Josh and Andrew didn't want the kids to become attached to a person who would not remain long in their lives. Patrick understood and was happy to keep his dates waiting just a little longer before bringing them home.

In truth Patrick would sometimes sneak back home early just so he could watch Josh and Andrew make love. He could see how much the two men loved and cared for each other and while it pained him to watch he couldn't stop himself he so desperately wanted the same experience they seemed to be having.

That night he had come home early and alone. He watched as his brother and Andrew made love before going to bed. When Patrick was sure they were asleep. He went up stairs and into Andrew's empty bedroom, crawled on top of the sheets, grabbed the spare pillow and hugged it imagining it was Josh or Andrew in his arms as he fell asleep.

It was not the first time he had done this but instead of waking up early so he could sneak back to his own room he was wakened by a hand shaking him. It was Andrew getting dressed for work.

Andrew and Josh had noticed the longing looks Patrick would give them when he thought they were not looking. Both felt sorry for the man but neither was interested in a three way with him. For Josh, Patrick was his brother and such ideas were just plain wrong. For Andrew it was different. He found Patrick attractive enough, cute even, but he was not Josh and Josh was the only person Andrew wanted to make love to. It was still so when he came in his room and saw Patrick sleeping there in his bed, arms around the pillow like a lover. For a moment, just for a moment Andrew imagined that he was that pillow but he quickly stuffed such thoughts down with self-anger. Still it was a turning point for him.

"Hey Patrick, had too much fun last night?" Andrew said as he shook Patrick awake.

"Huh...WHAT!" Patrick jumped with a start. He found himself still in Andrew's bed and with Andrew hovering over him.

"I said did you have too much fun last night?" Andrew repeated good-naturedly.

"I guess so...I guess that's the reason I'm in your bed hahaha." Patrick nervously chuckled.

"Hey its no problem. I've crashed in worse places when I got drunk."

"Same here."

"So did you have a good night?" Andrew asked.

Patrick, afraid of being caught in a lie gave the best answer he could come up with;"I guess so, I can't remember." He said with a shrug.

"Well you better be careful. People can take advantage of you when you're that drunk." Andrew said concerned.

"I will be...thanks." Patrick said with more emotion then he intended.

"Andrew caught the longing in Patrick's voice and began to wonder if Patrick had really fallen asleep here by mistake but he quickly stuffed those thoughts as well thinks it was he that wanted to imagine Patrick sleeping in his bed because Patrick wanted him. Andrew had Josh and that was all he needed?

Josh was confused. He had tried to make his morning call to Robert but was told the phone was no longer in service. He called the hotel that Robert had been staying at but was informed that he was no longer a guest. When he called the client Robert was supposed to see that day and asked for them to have Robert call home he was told that Robert had canceled. It was then that Josh began to panic. He phoned Glenn and Kyle and asked if they had heard anything. They told him that they hadn't. When Josh told him about the phone and canceled meetings, they too became concerned. They told Josh to wait 24 hours before calling the police and to keep them informed.

By this time Andrew had already left for work and Josh was running late. He had to do without a shower and rushed to the office so that he could make his morning meeting. He arrived to see the client waiting in the conference room but that Glenn, Kyle and Andrew were waiting for him as well. Glenn and Kyle with gloomy looks on their faces while Andrew looked like he was about to kill some one. Josh could see that they had bad news for him but he raised his hand for them to wait until after his meeting. When he finally exited an hour later, Glenn and Andrew were gone but Kyle was still waiting.

"Josh you need to come with me." He said with sympathy.

Josh's heart sank. All the fears that he could possible imagine filled his head with death being the big one. He followed Kyle to Glenn's office where Glenn was waiting, the answering machine moved so it was closer to the chairs that stood in front of the desk.

"Just tell me that he's not dead." Josh begged as he took a seat next to Kyle.

"No, he's not dead but I think he wishes he was." Glenn said.

"What is it then? What's wrong?"

"Listen to the message and you'll understand." Glenn said as he pushed the play button.

"Glenn..." Robert's voice played;"I really screwed up. You always said that my luck would run out one day and it finally has. Why did I have to be so stupid? Right when I had everything why did I throw it away with one last trick? I don't want to give you the details cause they don't really matter. I took a man back to my hotel room the first week away and he gave me something more then an orgasm. I don't have AIDS if that's what you're thinking but it can't be much worse. I have syphilis, an antibiotic resistant strain of it. The doctors... the doctors don't know if they can treat me. Thank god I don't have anything else. If I did, I couldn't get on the waiting list for the new experimental antibiotic but still my chances are not good." Robert's voice stopped for a while and was replaced by uncontrollable sobs. It was a while before Robert recovered.

"I can't come back home right now Glenn and I don't think I ever could. I'm just recovering from the first wave of sores. They might not be back for months but the thought of being with Josh but never to hold him in my arms again is too much. I know we could try safe sex but I could never take that kind of risk with him. I know Andrew would kill me if I brought this disease into the home but the main reason is because I can't forgive myself. Josh made me happy. For the first time in my life I felt I had a family but what did I do with it. I threw it away with my own selfishness. Josh might forgive me getting sick and I know he will never forgive me not coming home but it's for the best. Josh still has Andrew and Andrew is someone who will always be faithful to him. Josh will always be loved and I will always love him... I just can't face him right now."

"Damn you Robert, you coward." Josh hissed under his breath, tears running down his face.

"I know running off like this is bad but I know nothing else to do. Please forgive me friends and please explain this to Josh. I just can't talk to him. Bye." The message ended.

Kyle was now holding Josh's free hand, as the other was busy wiping away the tears that continued to fall. "I'm sorry Josh." He said sympathetically.

"Not as sorry as I'm going to make Robert feel when I get my hands on him." Josh said ominously. "How could that dumb bastard think I would prefer him to stay away when he needs me most?"

"He feels guilty Josh." Glenn explained.

"Do you think I don't know that?" Josh spat.

Kyle and Glenn sighed as they looked at each other. They too were angry at Robert but didn't know what to do. They knew that they could find where Robert was hiding eventually, they just didn't know if telling Josh would help or hurt things.

This must of also crossed Josh's mind as he began to speak again. "I want you two to help me find him." He said almost more as a command instead of a request.

"I don't know if that will be a good idea Josh"

"Forget about it being a good or bad idea. I'm not going to let Robert off the hook this easily."

"Josh... are you sure?" Glenn said with raised eyebrows.

"Yes I am."

"Well I better call the Williams then. I bet I get full price for this one." Glenn relented.

When Josh finally left Glenn's office he went to look for Andrew but found that he had left for the day. Knowing that he needed to talk with him. Josh canceled the rest of his appointments and went home. When he arrived he saw a pile of Robert's cloths outside in the trash and he knew that it was an angry Andrew he was coming home to.

He found Andrew in the kitchen working on a bottle of scotch his face flushed. Josh walked quietly to him and took the bottle out of his hands. When Josh was putting it away Andrew threw his glass against the sink, shattering it.

"Andrew please!" Josh shouted in shock.

"Don't go looking for him Josh." Andrew said under his breath.

"What?"

"Don't bring him back here. He made his bed now let him die in it."

"How can you say that Andrew."

"How can I... When he presents a physical threat to the one man I love. When he betrayed you that's when."

"He didn't betray me Andrew."

"How can you say that... He says he loves you but he spent half the time fucking other men."

"I know what kind of man Robert is. I always accepted that part of him. I held no illusions."

"Josh... What if.... What if he didn't know he got syphilis and came home with it? What if you had gotten infected? What if..." Andrew now said sobbing.

"What if I died?" Josh finished. "It would take years for that to happen."

"Yes. I never was an orphan like you and Robert but I've seen how it has shaped both of you. He could of done that to your own son."

Yes... that could have been a possibility Andrew but its not going to happen now. We can't remain angry over what could have happened. All we can do is deal with what is happening." Josh said as he hugged Andrew.

"I just don't understand how you can be so understanding Josh." Andrew sighed. It was hard to stay angry when he was in Josh's arms.

Because I love him Andrew, just as I love you. What if you got sick? Would you have me abandon you? He needs us Andrew more then ever, but I also need you. I can't do this if you don't support me."

"...All right Josh. You can go looking for him but promise me you won't share his bed or bring him back here unless some miracle cures him. Don't put yourself at risk for my sake and your son's."

"Ok Andrew all I request in return is if a miracle does occur you let him come back home."

Andrew tightened his jaw before he nodded his head. He would let Robert come back home but he would never forgive him.

While it would hurt the firm, Glenn and Kyle gave Josh all the time he needed in his search for Robert and his plan to keep him away from Andrew. Josh had daily meetings with Mrs. Williams and with other people including some they didn't understand how they would help find Robert. This included a real estate agent and a banker. It was another month before Josh finally found Robert or more to the point the hotel he was planning to be at in three days. Josh cleared his appointments and took the next flight to Chicago and checked into the Omni Hotel.

He remained there for two days before Mrs. Williams called with Robert's room number. He was just a floor below Josh's. Josh picked up the suitcase of cloths he had bought for this day. It was filled with more simple, everyday cloths that Robert had few of. Josh wanted Robert to dress for comfort instead of style for the place he was planning to take him. Josh felt his heart pounding as he knocked on the door, his other hand covering the peephole just in case. The door opened slowly to the end of the chain showing a dark room.

"Open up Robert.' Josh said.

The door slammed shut and he heard a sob and heavy feet run away from the door. Josh sighed and took out a large magnet that Mrs. Williams had given him just in case. He put it against the door where he guessed the chain was located and slide the magnet across until he heard a small clink sound as the chain fell out of its slot. Josh quickly opened the door just as he heard feet moving toward it. He slipped in just as a hand reached out and slammed the door behind him.

Seeing that it was too late to keep Josh out, Robert ran into a corner of the room and wept. Josh walked over to him and put a hand on top of Robert's head. Robert looked up at him with red eyes and a puffy face with an expression torn between rejection and longing. Josh lifted the larger man up on to his feet and took him to the bed where he made him lay down. Josh then joined him on the bed, laying next to him while he held his hand.

"I didn't want you to come after me." Robert mumbled between sobs.

"No you didn't." Josh said knowingly. "You were AFRAID that I wouldn't come after you."

"Still, you should of never run away like you did Robert."

"I could lie about it Josh but I knew after Andrew and you learned the truth I could never come home." Robert said with he head tilted so he was looking right at Josh.

"I know Robert. Andrew is taking this very hard."

"But what about you Josh."

"I know that this might amaze you Robert but it was never about the sex with me when it came to loving you."

"I don't know if I should be happy or offended by that." Robert chuckled. He had prided himself on always leaving his sex partner satisfied if not begging for more.

"Take it to mean that I really love you Robert."

"What about Andrew?"

"Well Robert, I'll be honest. For me at least Andrew is the better lover and I DO love him but Robert... you're the person I see as my soulmate."

"I don't understand why. Andrew is perfect and is completely loyal to you."

"Andrew is loyal and loving but he is far from perfect. No man is."

"You are Josh."

"No I'm not Robert." Josh said as he lifted up his now bare wrist, showing the scar there.

"No, I guess not. Where's your bracelet?"

"I'm having it altered."

"How?"

"Not yet. I'll tell you when you are better."

"All right."

"So..." Josh started as he propped his head up with his elbow. "Can we pretend that we already had the huge fight I know you're going to give me and just agree that you'll do as I say for now?"

"You're telling me that there is no point arguing with you?"

"Yep."

"So I'll just be wasting my breath."

"Yep."

"Ok, so what are you going to do with me?"

"I'm taking you home."

"But I can't go home. I know Andrew wouldn't like it and I don't want to cause any problems between he two of you."

"I know that. That's why I'm taking you someplace else. It was suppose to be my birthday present to you but I think you need it now."

They checked out of the hotel that day and caught a flight to Austin, Texas. There, Josh was met by a man who handed him a set of car keys and a map. Robert for his part kept silent most of the trip letting Josh tell him how the firm and kids were doing.

From the airport, Josh led him to a jeep and drove him westward. Memories began to return to Robert. He remembered this drive. It was the same route he took when he had gone to summer camp. Robert didn't say anything but Josh could see Robert's eyebrows rise in curiosity.

It was the same route to camp up to the turn off the farm road. The only difference was the road now had brick pavement instead of the dirt road that had been there before. The landscape was also well manicured with rows of tress lining the road. The only thing that seemed completely untouched was the pink granite hill that remained nearly bare of life.

When they had cleared the hill Robert saw what had happened to the camp. He had known that the camp had closed in the early 90's but he never thought that it would be turned into a luxury home community. It almost seemed to betray the memories of the orphans who once played here for it now to be taken up by a golf course and condominiums that lined the waters of Lake LBJ. Josh could see the look of anger on Robert's face and removed a hand from the steering wheel so he could give some comfort to him."

"I know Robert. It looks completely different now but when I saw a house for sale here I couldn't help but think of us."

"Well if anyone has the right to live here its one of us." Robert said reassuring. He could tell what Josh had been thinking by buying a bit of their shared past. And while a lot of things looked different Robert could see many things that reminded him of those days. Besides the hill there were the rocks, trees, and beach that remained, squeezed between the condos and homes. Robert found the depression that had taken him lifted as he remembered.

It was a sudden slamming of the breaks that shook him out of his daze and it was then that he saw it, a circle of logs and a patch of burnt earth. It was the campfire circle. Josh smiled at Robert and jumped out of the car. Robert watched from the car as Josh took his old place in the circle. The only thing missing from the picture Robert saw was himself. Robert slowly got out of the car and sat behind Josh, wrapping his arms around him, rocking him like he had done so many years ago.

"Thank you Josh. Thank you for reminding me."

"You're welcome Rob."

"Josh I don't think you know what you just reminded me of."

"What." Josh said as he turned his head to give Robert a kiss.

"You reminded me on the reason I fought so hard to make something of myself. Whenever I thought of giving up or accepting less of myself I would remember the days we spent here on how much you looked up to me. I...I could never let you down even when I was thinking of letting myself down."

"Don't be hard on yourself."

"I'm not Josh... What I'm trying to tell you is that... that it is YOU Josh. You're my reason for living. You have been my reason since we first met. I almost let my sickness make me forget this fact. Thank you Josh...thank you."

Josh couldn't hold himself back any longer. He turned around and pushed his lips against Robert's with such force that Robert was knocked off the log, taking Josh with him.

When Josh finally let go Robert could feel the tears dropping off Josh's face hitting his own. Usually at this moment Robert would be ripping off cloths in a rush to have sex. This time though, all he wanted was to stretch the moment out for as long as possible and he would have if it weren't for a stick jabbing him in the back.

They didn't say another word but got up in silence brushing off the dirt off each other, never breaking eye contact. They walked back to the car and continued the silence until they reached a white brick ranch style house. Josh parked the jeep and began to take out the suitcases from the back. The house was very simple in comparison to its neighbors but what it lacked in house it made up in green, green lawn that is. Most of the houses took up their entire lot, leaving no space for a front or backyard. As Josh took care of the bags, Robert laid down on the grass, letting the sun warm his face as the ground cooled his back.

Robert missed this, the taking of simple pleasures. As he had become more successful he had become lost in his attempt to gain people's love by impressing them with cloths, cars, and clubs. He could not remember the last time he had gone camping, visited a park, or even just go fishing. He had laughed when he saw the cloths Josh had bought him, big on flannel. Now it did not seem so tacky. It would be good not to care about how other's saw him but to only be concerned with himself and of course Josh. He was so comfortable he almost fell asleep when he felt a warm body join his.

"Want to camp out here tonight?" Josh asked.

"Tempting. Let me see what this house looks like first."

"Well just so you know this grass cost more then the house itself so you shouldn't worry about lowering your standards." Josh joked.

"I was wondering about that. None of the other homes seem to have a lawn."

"Yep. In truth the land would be worth more without the house on it but when I saw it I knew that it was what we wanted."

"Well then you better show me this dream house." Robert smiled as he got up.

Josh led him in through the front doors and into the living room. As soon as Robert entered he was taken a back by the view. A whole wall was made up by a series of windows giving a panoramic view of the lakes green waters and the hills in the background. Just this view made Robert love the house. As Josh dragged him away from the living room and showed him the rest of the house. There were three bedrooms with one of them having a pair of twin beds. There was an office and a den. The garage had been converted into an air-conditioned gym. Josh then led him to the boathouse that had a ski boat and two wave runners. Josh then opened the storage closest and showed Robert the fishing gear.

Josh finally let Robert rest after he took him to the roof of the boathouse. It had been converted into an upper deck and had a small rock garden and patio furniture. Robert took a seat by the table while Josh spread himself out on a lounger. Robert began to think about the house and he could see what Josh was trying to do. The house was filled with wood and stone, no metal, nothing flashy. Everything seemed to have been design to calm the mind. Even if he had to live years without being cured, he would be happy here.

That night Josh made pot roast with mash potatoes and buttered peas, comfort food. Robert enjoyed it so much he didn't even worry about how much exercise it would take to burn it off. They spent the rest of the evening on the couch in each other's arms. The only thing that ruined the day was when they went to bed Josh, in keeping his promise to Andrew slept in the guest room while Robert had to sleep alone in the master bedroom. For a couple of hours this bothered Robert and kept him awake. He wanted to go and join Josh in his bed but he knew that he shouldn't make things harder for Josh. He knew what he needed to do. He needed to come to feel love without experiencing the physical expression of it. In the end he resorted to hugging his pillow, imagining it was Josh he was holding.

Two other men were hugging their pillows that night. Patrick was asleep in Josh's bed imagining that it was Andrew he held while Andrew was in his own bed imagined it was Josh. Josh had only been gone a few days but the house already seemed half empty.

Andrew was struggling. He liked Robert as a person. He just hated that he had to share Josh with him. Andrew wanted to love only one person and have that person only love him. While he knew that Josh had nearly unlimited love for the both of them, Andrew wanted only one man in his life. Hoping to solve his loneliness he went to Josh's room only to find another person was asleep there, Patrick.

Andrew stood there for what felt like hours. He didn't want to be alone this night and he knew that Patrick had a crush on him but he loved Josh. How could he sleep with another person if he was already in love? He was becoming to understand how Josh could love more then one man. What he couldn't understand was the sex for pleasure that Robert had engaged with. Andrew came for a conservative family and while he did not believe in the absence of sex before marriage, he did feel that sex should only be used to express love, not just for the gaining of pleasure.

He didn't know why but he made his way to the bed and sat down next to Patrick but he did. Sitting down must have wakened Patrick cause as soon as Andrew sat down he felt a warm hand moved under his shirt. He could not see Patrick's face but he could see the gleam of two moist eyes in the moonlight.

Andrew knew he should have stood up and left but he couldn't. He missed Josh terribly. All he wanted right now was for some one to hold him and by the way Patrick was trying to pull him down on to the bed he knew he had a willing body. So he let himself be lowered and taken into Patrick's arms. He let Patrick fuck him but it was not love. It was just sex... just like it was with Robert, Andrew realized. With this realization Andrew left for his own bed.

he next morning Andrew and Patrick both had guilt on their faces. Neither of them talked about it but both knew that it would never happen again. While they both had regret, they both had learned a lot as well. For Andrew, he was learning what Robert was, that love is more then just sex. Patrick, for his part had come to terms that if he was going to find love he needed to seek it out on his own, not trying to attach himself to the love found between others. By the end of the day, Andrew had called Josh and told him what had happened. Both agreed that that Andrew needed to join Josh in Texas. They also agreed that Patrick needed to find his own place to live. So it was decided that Andrew and the kids would join Josh in Texas for six weeks allow Patrick time to find his own place. When Andrew was done talking, Patrick and Josh had a long talk. Both made it clear that they didn't want this to cause a rift between them and while they couldn't live under the same roof, Josh still wanted him to be a part of his life. So, as soon as Patrick was settled in his new home and Andrew was back in Kansas, Josh wanted him to join him at the lake so they could spend some time together.

Josh picked up Andrew at the airport. He was shocked at his bedraggled look. He had a good three days growth on his face and his cloths looked well slept in. Both of the kids also looked tired and fell asleep during the drive back to the house. Andrew, during the drive, bounced between sleep and a half awake state, his head jerking awake every few minutes and he would squeeze Josh's leg as if to reassure himself that Josh was still there.

When they arrived at the house, Josh took Andrew right to the bedroom and had him lay down. He then asked Robert to watch after the kids who seemed to get a second wind of energy in seeing their "uncle" again. Josh then went back to the bedroom and locked the door.

Andrew had fallen right asleep on hitting the bed. Josh made his way to the foot of the bed and started to undress him. After taking off his shoes, Josh unbuckled Andrew's pants and pulled them off. He then unbuttoned his shirt but had problems trying to slip his arms out of it. As he struggled Andrew awoke and wrapped his arms around Josh, pulling him down on to the bed on top of him. Josh stopped trying to undress him and just let Andrew hold him.

"I'm sorry Josh."

"Shhh, its ok."

"How can I ask you to trust me again?"

"Just as you trust me Andrew." Josh said as he nuzzled against Andrew's rough face.

"I'm just not made to handle multiply relationships. I know how Robert does it but I don't see how you can."

"I can't anymore Andrew."

"What do you mean?" Andrew said concerned.

"I mean this..." Josh said as he reached over to open the nightstand drawer pulling out a small jewelry case.

"..." Andrew was stunned into silence.

Josh and Robert had a long talk about their future during those first days at the lake. Robert, with no guarantee of him ever getting well had finally come to terms that he had to give Josh up. Not his friendship nor his love but his body. If Josh was to take a husband, that husband needed to be able to take care of both Josh's emotional and physical needs Robert reasoned. When Josh brought out the jewelry case, it had three rings in it made from the bracelet both Andrew and Robert had given him as a sign of their love. When Josh handed him the ring that had Robert's name engraved inside it, Robert put it on his right hand, telling Josh how their future relationship was to be limited. Josh understood what Robert was saying but he still cried. He loved Robert, more then he loved Andrew in truth. Robert was making a sacrifice for him. Robert wanted Josh to be happy and that meant not trapping him in a relationship that was on the path for tragedy. Being limited to being a friend and being loved by Andrew, Robert hoped that his own physical decline would have less of an effect on Josh. That night, Josh slept with Robert for what they felt would be for the last time. They did not have sex but held each other. Robert could have died a happy man that night.

Josh took out the ring and handed it to Andrew. It had Andrew's name engraved inside it. Andrew held the ring up to his face and stared at it before he slipped it on his left ring finger. He put he ring on but felt that he didn't deserve it.

"Josh... am I second place?"

Josh could not lie but also could not make himself say the words. He was only able to nod his head.

"The why are you doing this?"

"Andrew... I love you. Please don't doubt that."

"I don't but I know you love Robert more." Andrew said calmly. He felt sorry for what Josh must be struggling with.

"This is what Robert wants."

"But what do you want?"

"I want both of you but that's not being fair to either of you. Robert can't .... He would never risk me becoming sick and I can't risk getting sick myself for the sake of my son and YOU. Robert and I will always love each other but we can't express it the way we would want to. For Robert this is too painful to be able to look but not touch. For him it is better that we end the physical side of our relationship. But Andrew, I'm like you. I need a husband and Andrew you are the perfect husband. But more import, I do love you."

"Won't you miss the sex with Robert?" Andrew said unsure still where he stood.

"Hahaha. Andrew I think you'll be surprised to know that sex with you was always better then with Robert."

"Really!" Andrew said surprised and a little proud.

"Yes Andrew. When I make love to you, I'm expressing my love and I feel your love as well. With Robert... sex was just sex. We expressed our love to each other in other ways..."

"Then why... why do you love Robert more?"

"Because of the past Andrew. We have a common past that lets us understand each other in ways that you can't... yet."

"Yet?"

"Yes. I hope that one day we will have enough of a common past that we have the same or even better understanding of each other."

"I know both of you were orphans together but how did you two bond so quickly over those two summers."

"It was not what happened during those summers that bonded us. It was what happened afterwards. We were each other's heroes. Whenever Robert or I felt that life was too hard we would always look back to the memories of those summers and knew that we could not quit because somewhere the other was cheering us on. When we finally found each other, we finally got a chance to live out our fantasy of forming a family together."

"How will I ever be able to compete with that?"

"By becoming a part of my family. By becoming my husband." Josh replied as he slipped the ring on Andrew's left hand.