Indigo Clouds Above - 1. Indigo Clouds Above

Indigo clouds above

How fitting

Susie told me to come here today and pray

Now that your life has gone away

I wasn’t by Susie’s side

in the pew

During your view

But mother was there

But she didn’t even offer you a stare

I think it’s fair

Mom wasn’t there for you

Mom was there, by Susie’s side,

(By Susie in the pew)

For Susie; but, not for you

Any way

So here I am

By Susie’s request

(I guess this is her test)

She also told me to come and bring you flowers

Any way

So here I am

With three long stems of

Festiva Maxima

Herbaceous Peonies

Huge, pure white double flowers

With vivid flecks of crimson

Showy bouquet

(Fragrant too)

Stems are almost 3 feet long

I was three once

Myself

Puny

Peony

Me

Little Angel Sebastian

Back then all I wanted was your love

Indigo

Daddy dear

That was you

keeper of my soul

You isolated me from it

Because of

That frightful morning

What a bind

I was dressed in white

Beautiful white flower

What a fright

I was dressed in white

Angel Sebastian

Mommy ca’s me Angel

Likes too dress me white

White shoes too

“Mommy’s okay Sussana,

Hold your brother’s hand

While I close the door.”

Need to close the door…

“Mommy, daddy got he’a;

He angry,

Daddy don’t !”

Fist hits Mommy’s lower lip

Lip cut open by lower teeth

Inner skin splits

Mommy bleeds

I too close

It raining red on me

Hate you daddy!

Hate you ! !

Pure white double flower

Now with vivid flecks of crimson

Any way

Here I am now

Getting wet

It’s beginning to rain

Indigo blue

Always wanting

Indigo blue hue

Always wanting to love you

But I still hate you

I’m not forgiving

Keeper of my soul

Now my soul’s isolated from me

And I’m none forgiving

Rain harder Indigo cloud

Hide my tears from that beast under foot

There is no more fear in me

I let that fear go long ago

But not the hate

I’m too close to you here

You fathered me

Rain is intensifying

But the rain can’t wash the crimson

From the four flowers

Three and me

Mom still calls me Angel

She would like to see me in white

White shoes too

Why choose to?

I have no choice

I’m none forgiving

I still hate you