Black Sheep Part 2 - 13. Chapter 13

I walk up to the sinks where Vic is already washing his hands. I glance at him and suddenly see a glimpse of red on his wrist. Disappointment and anger fight with the pain in my heart.

“When have you started again?” I try to keep my voice levelled but I fail miserably. He looks at me with confusion on his face, as if he really doesn't know what I'm talking about.

I grab his wrists and turn them around, seeing more red lines on them. The skin is raised but not broken through, hard enough to hurt but also to fade soon.

“When?” The anger in me rises.

“They are just scars.” He tries to evade the questions and tugs.

“These are not scars, this is newer. When?!” I grip his arms harder, realising that I'm hurting him, but his evasiveness is hurting me more.

“I don't know, let me go please.” He pleads while still pulling.

“I won't let you go until I know the truth.”

The look in his eyes changes, like something snaps. “The truth, eh? You want the truth?”

“Yes.” I keep my calm but my heart is racing, what was going on?

“The truth is I never quit. I have other inferior methods but I have never quit since I started.” He looks me straight in the eyes, waiting for my response.

“W... why?” I stutter as I immediately let go of him.

“Why? Maybe because I never wanted to. Maybe because it feels too good to do.” He hovers over me, trying to impress me but I don't give in.

My anger rises further and I slap him in his face. I've had enough of it, if he has been lying about this all the time then what else has he been lying about?

“I don't want to see you again. Don't go to the house, leave!”

“What?! You're throwing me away?” His voice is incredulous but I can see the understanding deep in his eyes. He knew I would snap if I ever found out the truth.

“Yes, because from now on I won't be able to trust you and we can't be friends if I can't trust you.”A cold creeps into me, in my voice and stance. There is no more going back for us.

“Fine, I'll leave.” He stomps out of the bathroom, through the restaurant, out of the door.

“Vic, what is going on, where are you going?” Jack stands up but I stop him.

“Don't follow him. He needs to cool down.” I push him back in the chair.

“Will he be back?” He looks at me with confusion in his eyes, shocked by my cold voice and actions.

“I hope not.” I sit down and take a bite from my food.

“Adam!” Toms voice is sharp but I don't care.

“I don't want to talk about it. Just leave it at that I can no longer trust him and I can't have him around me when I can't trust him. Now eat.” I look at them both as they return to their plates.

Great, yet another lovely dinner ruined because I no longer am able to talk to Vic in a normal way.

After that the dinner had been really quiet. Tom and Jack exchanged glances I pretended I didn't see. On our way back Jack got a message that Vic was on his way back home. As soon as we reached the apartment I went into the bedroom, leaving Jack and Tom to fend for themselves.

I lie on the bed, fully dressed, facing the sealing. I can softly hear the tv in the living room, some sort of action program is going on with a lot of explosions and gunshots. In the quiet between scenes I can hear some low mumbling. I close my eyes, trying to drift off to sleep but to no avail. Vics face keeps flashing in front of my eyes. He really was surprised I found out. How stupid have we all been? How could we think that he wouldn't do it no more?

I sigh. I regret hitting him. I had no right to do that and I did it without thinking twice about it. Not that he would ever give me the opportunity to apologise. He probably doesn't want to see me any more either way. Of all the moments I was afraid I might stop loving him, this was the moment it all came back. I love him as much as ever before. I might have stopped loving him because he hurt himself but I now realise that deep down I knew something was wrong. Now the secret was out in the open all my feelings seem to have come back.

“Anne is on the phone, she wants to talk to you.” Tom stands in the doorway.

“I don't want to talk to her.” I roll on my back as I look at him.

“This is the third time she has called, you have to start talking to her.” He diverts his attention to the phone. “Hmm, yes, I agree.” He focuses his attention back on me. “She says you can at least tell her what is going on, Vic is very upset.”

“As he should.” I pluck the corner of the pillow I was cuddling.

“Here she is.” He offers me the phone.

“I don't want to talk to her.” I try to get away but his stare keeps me in place.

“You have to.” He drops the phone on the bed and walks out of the room.

Reluctantly I pick up the phone. “Yes?”

“Why won't you talk to me?” Annes voice is calm but I know she must be furious with me.

“Because I don't feel like it. I need to figure this out on my own first.” I cuddle the pillow again and press the phone to my ear hard.

“What is going on? Why are the both of you so upset?” Her calm voice soothes some of the pain.

“I don't want to talk about it.” The immediate anger is long gone and I'm only exhausted and hurt.

“Yes, and neither will Vic. He is clearly upset. What are you two hiding from us?”

“Like I said, I don't want to talk about it. There is no use asking any more.” My voice is cracking.

“Is Jack still there?” She keeps her voice steady but I can hear the slight change in breath and know that this was going to be way harder than I thought.

“Yes, he somehow seems worried something will happen to me. Or he thinks that I will tell what is going on. Do you want to talk to him?” I grab the change in topic with both hands, hoping we just could not do this.