Black Sheep Part 2 - 6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I put the phone down, my hand over my mouth as I try to keep my dinner inside. I grab the counter, moving towards the sink, moving my hands along the edge, gripping hard, trying to stay in control. I double over, heaving before I feel the tug in the pit of my stomach and everything comes out. Why would he do this? How can he still be like this? Tears stream down my face and I try to stand, only to be doubled over by a second wave of heaving.

A hand pulls my hair from my face, binding it back with quick movements.

"Let it go, Anne. Let it go, let it all out." Mum softly holds me, her hands making soothing circles on my back, her voice soft.

My legs wobble and then give out under me, I slide down to the ground. A second set of hands put a bucket next to me. I look up and see Jack biting his lip out of anxiousness, worry in his eyes. How could Vic leave this guy behind? I suddenly feel cold and start shivering. Not able to stop my tears, I wipe them away with the sleeve of my vest. I retch again but only some bile comes up, with too few force to make it out so it stays in my mouth.

"Here, rinse your mouth with this." Mum gives me a glass of water as she kneels next to me. I fill my mouth with the water before I spit it in the bucket, cleaning my mouth once, twice. I sit back, the heaving subsiding and I take a sip from the glass.

"They are going to force feed him." It comes out as a whisper, but I know they have heard me, Mum simply nods but Jack stares at me with large eyes.

"Why?"

"He refuses to eat, he is killing himself by not eating. So they are going to force feed him. I need to go there tomorrow to sign the papers." Talking about this was safe, distant. I can calm down as long as I don't have to think about the other thing.

"But why? Why would he do that?" Jack looks so lost. "Why would he do that even after all this? I don't get it." I pull myself up on the counter, the edge in my back to support me. I embrace Jack and at the same moment I feel how Mum embraces us both.

"Because he is ill. He is not thinking right." Mum whispers the words, as if she tries to convince herself that is what is going on; he is like this because he is ill, not because he has a saying over this all.

I sit on the edge of Mums bed, my fingers playing with the edge of the blanket as I try to bring up the courage to tell her what is going on. I look at her, her face, the lines around her eyes and mouth, lines of worry, lines of sadness. Lines I don't want to deepen but I can't do this on my own.

I sigh deep, before I blurt out, "they're restraining him. He has been hurting himself."

The pounding in my chest begins again, my stomach moving, my throat closing. I hang my head as not to show her how much I'm fighting not to begin puking again. Images flash in my head. Vic sitting on his bed, arms covered in bite marks, then the image shifts, Vic with his arms covered in bruises, shift, blood, shift, burns. A loud sob leaves me and I softly start to shiver again.

"I guessed as much. How bad is it?" Mum slowly pulls me closer to her, laying me at her side on the bed. She softly brushes my hair with her fingers, soothing my scalp with slow motions.

"Very bad. He bit himself, drawing blood at some spots.” I pause for a couple of minutes before I say what is really on my mind. “I think he might be having delusions again.”

“Why? He seemed to be quite lucid before he left.”

“They say he has been constantly staring off into space, daydreaming, mumbling to himself sometimes. Though he still refuses to talk to anyone, he hasn't really been quiet at all.”

We lie there for a couple more minutes. Lost in our own thoughts before Mum reaches up and turns off the light. She pulls the covers over me closer and I immediately dose off, finally feeling safe, finally no longer pulling the full weight of it all. the pressure of all the problems with Vic have tired me out immensely and I'm out cold in a couple of minutes.

I wake up to my phone buzzing in the pocket of the bathrobe I'm wearing. I sit up slowly, trying not to wake up Mum and quietly walk out of her room.

“Yes?” I yawn as I pick up without checking who the caller is.

“I'm sorry if I woke you up. But can I drop by?” Steves voice surprises me. I walk to my own room and check for the time before answering.

“It's one in the morning, what is going on?” I sit down, trying my hardest to keep my eyes open but they keep sliding shut.

“It's about Jack. He is really upset by everything and hasn't been sleeping well. I would just like to be at his side for the moment. If that is okay with your Mum.”

“She is asleep now, but I don't think she would mind. As long as you're really quiet it should be fine. Where are you now?” I stand up, willing myself to stay awake, and walk down the stairs to have something to do.

“I'm still at home but I'm on my way out. I'll be there in a couple of minutes. See you in a bit.” He hangs up the phone.

I walk around the kitchen, grabbing something to eat and drink, and when I sit down at the table I realize I'm no longer sleepy.