Always You, Only You - 2. Chapter 2

Part 5: A Car Ride, a Wooden Boats Bridge and One Wish

After that Sunday, a comfortable routine began in their small household. Shin made breakfast early in the morning, which certainly brought Min out of his bedroom earlier than before. Miki finally got to see Min in his high school uniform. A white shirt, with the school’s logo, dark trousers and a blazer. His tie in a very untidy knot. Shin scowled at it every time Miki sat at the table. Watching them bicker was a fantastic experience.

Miki always left first, so that he could meet Roberto and Sunha. Shin scowled at him when he got up from the table without finishing his food. Miki locked each scowl in his heart, glad that Shin noticed when he left.

It was enough Shin noticed, he thought.

It had to be enough that Shin noticed him.

And it was, until a beautiful Saturday morning in the middle of March.

Sunha loved photography, and he often took on projects that took him out of the city. On this Saturday, Sunha was to take photographs of a couple his parents knew at Dumulmeori garden in Yansu-ri, almost two hours drive out of Itaewon. Miki hadn’t gotten a chance to play the tourist, so he asked Sunha if he could go along. Not wanting to be left behind, Roberto suggested they turn the project into a weekend getaway.

On Friday night, in anticipation of the weekend away, Miki agreed with his friends to turn in early, so that they could take the first bus out to Yangsu-ri. When he got home, he found both Min and Shin already in. Shin’s door was open for once, and he was moving in and out to the living room, working on a project.

Min sat on the couch in front of the television watching a show. It was the first time Miki had ever found them together like this.

“Where have you been?” Shin asked him in greeting when he closed the door.

“Out with Roberto and Sunha,” Miki answered, taking the bag of groceries he’d bought to the kitchen. “We ate dinner and thought we should turn in early for tomorrow.”

“What’s tomorrow?” Shin asked.

“We’re going to Yansu-ri,” Miki grinned. “My first trip out of town. Sunha is going to take us to Dumulmeori garden.”

“Can I come?” Min asked, sitting up on the couch to look at him. “Are you taking the bus?”

“If you can wake up early, sure,” Miki said, stowing away groceries. “I’ll let Sunha know, so that he can include you for tomorrow night. We get to sleep at this inn—

“I’m coming too,” Shin interrupted.

“Really?” Miki stared at Shin.

He hoped the elation spreading through him wasn’t showing. It was almost unbelievable that this would be the first time in almost a month to go anywhere with Shin. It seemed surreal. Sure, they talked in this loft, but they’d yet to meet outside its walls, not even in the university where they both attended. Miki kept feeling as though their worlds were miles apart.

“Miki?”

Miki blinked and found Shin staring at him.

“Huh?”

“I have a car, you don’t need to take the bus. If your friends don’t mind,” Shin said.

Miki frowned.

“Since when do you own a car?” he asked.

Shin chuckled. “Since always.”

Miki looked to Min for confirmation and got a nod in answer.

“I didn’t know,” Miki said. He left too early anyway to ever know how Shin got around.

“I wondered why you’ve never asked me for a ride,” Shin said. “Hojun never told you that you could?”

Miki shrugged. “I released him from having to take me to school every morning. I don’t expect you to take on that task.”

Shin frowned at him. “This attitude, did you have it in Japan too?”

“What attitude?” Miki asked, taking his book bag off the island table.

His shoulders ached, the day’s activities taking a toll on him. He slung his bag over his left shoulder and rubbed his right shoulder with a sigh.

“The I-can-do-it-all-alone-and-don’t-need-anyone attitude.”

“That’s not fair,” Miki frowned. “I’ve not been—

“Don’t bother,” Shin said, turning back to the files on the coffee table. “Do you want to go with the car or not?”

“I’ll confirm with Sunha,” Miki said.

Miki headed to his bedroom, dropping his back pack on the floor. He sunk onto the comfortable mattress wondering why his heart fluttered and skipped when Shin spoke. Why would he like that god-awful attitude? Did it make sense that every cell in his body vibrated with excitement at the thought of spending a weekend in close proximity to Shin?

He reached into his jeans pocket and got his cell phone. Dialing Sunha’s number a minute later, a sleepy Sunha answered.

“I thought you were going to sleep?”

“Park Shin has a car,” Miki said in answer. “He offered to drive us down and—

“Yes,” Sunha did not let him finish. “I’ll skip the bus any day.”

Of course Sunha would not turn down the offer.

“Alright, I’ll tell him you said okay.”

“Roberto and I will meet you guys at the coffee shop. Now get off the phone, I need to sleep.”

Sunha ended the call and Miki let out a soft sigh. Not wanting to face Shin again, he texted a ‘yes’ to Shin, coupled with a thank you. He turned to his left side, his eyes drifting closed when Shin didn’t reply to his message at once. He was almost slipping into sleep when his phone buzzed.

‘Great. I hope we take the next trip together without the baggage.’

Miki rubbed his eyes and reread the message. What did Shin mean next trip? And together? Did that include Min too? Or…for a full minute, his head filled with images of him and Shin driving along the highway. Shin’s smile wide, his fingers tangled with Miki’s on his lap.

Miki sat up then, rubbing his eyes hard. His imagination was going to drive him crazy he decided. He didn’t think Shin would ever hold his hand with a wide smile; a lover’s smile.

Saturday morning dawned, with it, a wide-eyed Min who seemed too excited for words and an energetic Shin who walked with a bounce in his every step. They both looked like they’d had more than the strong coffee Miki brewed to wake his foggy brain. He dragged his overnight bag down the stairs, holding his camera with precious care. While Sunha would be getting paid to take professional pictures, Miki would be taking personal pictures to share with his family.

Shin’s car turned out to be a white SUV parked along the curb near the coffee house. Miki had seen the car before, but he’d always assumed it belonged to one of the coffee house staff. Shin took Miki's bag from him and stowed it away in the trunk. Coming around to the passenger side, Shin asked Min to sit in the back and then opened the front passenger door for Miki.

Too sleep-deprived to ask, Miki slid into the front passenger seat and wore his seat belt. He closed his eyes, looking forward to a serious nap on the drive to Yangsu-ri.

Shin started the car and was fiddling with the radio when Sunha and Roberto showed up. Shin got out of the car to help them with their luggage. In less than five minutes, Sunha and Roberto slid into the back, teasing Min, and dumping a bag filled with snacks on his lap.

“Miki, you look wiped out,” Sunha teased. “Long night? Do you have a girlfriend we haven’t met?”

“He doesn’t have one,” Min answered.

“Wonder why?” Roberto teased. “That cute face should have landed him a few from the business department.”

“As if any of you bastards have any,” Miki replied with a scoff.

“I have one,” Sunha responded. “She’s texting me on the hour about every thing. I’m about to tell her I’m out of town for the weekend.”

Roberto chuckled. “You can’t mean the girl from the convenience store? She looks half your age.”

“I’m twenty-one,” Sunha frowned. “What’s wrong with dating an eighteen year old?”

“She’s barely out of high school,” Roberto said.

“So what?” Sunha scowled. “You were dating an actual high school student last year.”

“That was different,” Roberto sat back. “She didn’t tell me she was in high school.”

“Jeez, are you two writing a drama?” Min asked between them.

“No,” both Sunha and Roberto answered.

“What’s the girl from the convenience store like?” Min asked Sunha.

Miki smiled as Sunha got into describing his latest girlfriend. Roberto helping along. Miki stole a glance at Shin and his smile slipped slightly. Shin wore a white hoodie, covering his head in the cool morning. His hands moved with assured grace on the steering wheel. He knew the roads well, and soon, they were headed out of the main city headed to Yangsu-ri.

Miki lost the fight to stay conscious, and fell asleep listening to the guys joke around in the back. When he came to, the car had stopped. The sun warm against his skin. He shifted to straighten his back and turned his head to find Shin watching him.

“Hey,” he said, wiping a hand down his face, hoping to wipe off drool.

He had not meant to sleep so much.

Miki sat up and looked at the back to find it empty.

“They’re inside the shop.” Shin pointed to a small convenience store on his right side. “Min needed a bathroom. He’s been drinking water nonstop since Seoul.”

Miki nodded and let out a soft sigh.

“You sleep hard,” Shin said with a small smile. “You didn’t hear them teasing you for snoring.”

“I don’t snore.”

“Yes you do.”

“No way.”

Shin chuckled and shifted in his seat to look at him.

“How do you know you don’t snore?”

“I just do,” Miki answered meeting dark brown eyes, helplessly drowning in them.

“You drool though,” Shin said after a moment, lifting a finger to point at the left corner of Miki’s mouth.

Miki looked away quickly swiping his hand over his mouth. Of all times to drool.

Shin laughed and turned up the music. Say Sue Me was on, singing One Week, the tune upbeat. Miki smiled when Shin started banging his head to the music. The man was in an absolutely good mood. They sat in the car listening to rock music. Shin would glance at him occasionally and smile. Cars passed them in the parking lot, pedestrians walked by their car…Miki noticed none of it. He simply watched Shin relax in the driver’s seat listening to music and felt content.

“Miki, you’re awake,” Min said, opening the back passenger door. He climbed in and held out a coffee cup to Miki. “Thought you might need this. I’m thinking we need to invest in a caffeine drip for you.”

“Punk,” Miki said, taking the cup.

Miki took a sip with a grateful sigh, the caffeine working wonders.

Sunha slid in on Min’s left, with Roberto getting on Min’s right. They closed their doors at the same time. Shin got them on the road and soon, they were all singing along to the music on the radio. Miki laughed when the guys made up the lyrics for the parts they didn’t know. General ridiculousness took hold when Min stood up on the backseat, popping his head out the sunroof.

Miki loved that Shin took it in stride, even laughing when Roberto tickled Min back into the car. They reached Yangsu-ri soon after. Heading straight to the inn where Sunha had booked them rooms.

Miki loved the inn at first sight. The Butterfly Inn was owned by a nice granny in her late sixties and had four rooms. It offered a homey atmosphere, served two meals, breakfast and dinner, and boasted a beautiful garden full of flowers.

Inside at check-in, Sunha talked to the young lady running the reception desk. Miki guessed she was related to the granny. When Sunha frowned and came back carrying two keys, Miki wondered if their impromptu additions had ruined their plans.

“Okay guys, we have two rooms. One room has three beds, the other two. Roberto,--

“Miki and I will share a room,” Shin said before Sunha could finish.

Sunha smiled, glad the problem was solved, he handed Shin the key all this without Miki or Min’s input.

“Hey,” Miki started, but then Shin was already following the receptionist who was leading them upstairs.

“This is awesome,” Min was telling Roberto. “I haven’t been on a road trip since I went with my mum. But that was years ago.”

“Min, do you want to room with Shin?” Miki asked as they went up the stairs. “He’s your brother—

“It’s fine,” Min smiled at him. “We see each other daily. It will be a holiday to hang out with Sunha and Roberto this weekend.”

Miki nodded, reaching out to mess up the top of Min’s hair. Min swiped at his hand with a laugh. Going up the stairs, he found Shin had already opened their door.

“Guys, let’s meet outside in ten minutes,” Sunha said into their room. “I need to be at the site in thirty.”

Miki nodded and Sunha closed the door. It was interesting being in the same room with Shin. Both a torture and a pleasure, he thought dropping his bag on the bed closest to him. Shin was standing by the windows and had chosen the bed there.

“Do you want to exchange places with Min?” Shin asked, not looking at him. His hands in his pockets.

Miki sat on the bed. Truth was, he’d only offered because he felt Min took priority.

“I thought he might like to spend time with you.”

“We live together. Don’t you think we’ve been spending enough time together?” Shin asked turning to look at him.

Miki shrugged. “He’s your brother, Shin.”

“Half-brother,” Shin answered. “One I didn’t know existed before last year.”

“That doesn’t make him any less your brother,” Miki said.

“You make it sound so easy.” Shin leaned against the windows. “Are you always so positive?”

“Not always,” Miki said with a small smile. “Especially when you point out I’ve been drooling.”

Shin returned his smile.

“I thought you looked cute drooling away in your sleep,” Shin said. “Can’t forget the snoring.”

“I don’t snore,” Miki scowled at him. “Stop teasing me.”

“I like teasing you, Miki.”

Miki chuckled and stretched his arms above his head.

“Well, as long as you don’t mind me doing it right back.”

“I don’t mind at all,” Shin answered, removing his hoodie.

That answer was enough to set Miki’s heart fluttering again, so he got up and went to the bathroom to escape Shin’s effortless charm.

Ten minutes later, as Sunha had asked, they were all back in the car headed to Dumulmeori park. The moment Shin parked the car, Sunha headed out with Roberto and Min to find a suitable place for the wedding photos.

Miki came out of the car much more slower, holding his camera. He waited for Shin to lock the car. Then with mutual understanding, the exploration started. Shin walked beside him in the art gallery. Miki took a few photos, sneaking one of Shin staring at art on the wall looking bored. They left the gallery, and headed to the river. Shin perked up when he saw artists working on sketching fellow visitors.

Miki wanted to protest sitting down to have someone sketch him, but then Shin sat next to him, and he decided he could stand the twenty minutes of staying still. Shin had his arm over Miki’s shoulder. As always, having the man so close had Miki's heart skipping a thousand miles a minute. By the time the sketch artist was done, Miki wondered if the man had captured the beads of sweat that had surely appeared on his forehead.

One glance at the sketch, and Miki doubted the man doing the drawing had good eyesight. There were no sweat beads on his forehead, and he looked as though he were smiling like a silly idiot. Shaking his head, he watched Shin pay the man, and to his eternal surprise, Shin took the portrait and stowed it away in his wallet.

“What are you going to do with it?” Miki asked.

“Keep it,” Shin said as though that was a given.

“Come on, that doesn’t even look like me.”

“It surely does, down to the silly smile.”

Miki gaped.

Shin kept walking and Miki had to run to keep up with him. Irritated about Shin keeping the ridiculous sketch of him at what he considered his worst, he almost missed taking photos of the river. Shin stopped at the river bank, crouching on the rocks, staring down into the river. Miki took pictures of Shin, then the river, then back to Shin, as though he couldn’t ignore the gorgeous man. Shin glanced at him, and he captured Shin’s questioning frown.

“Should we continue?” Shin asked. “If we keep following the paths, we’ll end up at a bridge leading to Saemiwon garden. There is a water fountain made of Hagari there. I think you’ll love it.” (Korean Pottery Jars)

Miki glanced back hoping Sunha would stay busy all day. He turned to Shin and nodded in agreement. Frankly, Miki was sure he would go anywhere Shin suggested without protest. This should have worried him, but it brought him a strange sense of adventure.

They spent the rest of the day exploring the vast gardens, ending up at the entrancing water fountain made up of pottery jars. They walked along stone paths in the middle of gigantic lotus fields. But the most exciting spot for him was walking along the bridge linking Saemiwon garden to Dumulmeori garden. The bridge was made up of old wooden boats, and he stood staring at them over the rail, until Shin wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him back.

“If you fall over, I’ll have to jump into that murky water to find you,” Shin said when he glanced at him in question. “I would hate to lose you, Miki.”

“Lose me?” Miki asked.

“Yes.” Shin smiled, leaning on the rail too.

“Like a coin?” Miki asked.

“No.”

“Like what?”

“What are you fishing for?”

Miki swallowed, and dropped his gaze to the camera hanging on his neck. He hoped…gods he dared to hope that Shin would like him more than…

“I—,” Miki started then stopped, afraid.

He wondered what would happen if he blurted out that he liked Shin. If he leaned in and kissed Shin’s jaw as he’d wanted to do for weeks now. Would he ruin the weekend? It didn’t help that they were sharing a room. Miki didn’t want to make their stay here awkward, but…he was tempted beyond his limits.

It was no longer enough to watch Shin from a far. He wanted more. Wanted Shin to see him as more than a friend.

“Miki,” Shin’s deep voice dragged him back to the present.

Miki met dark eyes and inhaled sharply.

“I like you,” Shin stated, his gaze enough to let Miki know exactly what Shin meant with those simple words.

“Li…like me?” Miki repeated.

“Do you find that strange?” Shin asked, his tone low, unsure. His gaze slid away from Miki to look at the river surrounding them. “Of course you must. A guy liking another guy, that must be weird.” Shin gave a small sigh. “I don’t expect anything back, and you can ignore this, call it madness or whatever, but…I needed you to know because—

“I like you too,” Miki blurted out, interrupting Shin’s speech. He exhaled in relief, and grinned. “I like you, Shin.”

Shin turned to face him, a wide smile gracing his lips.

“Do you mean that?” Shin asked, a tinge of worry in his tone.

Had Shin worried the same way he had?

Miki nodded.

Shin’s smile widened and he placed his right hand on Miki’s shoulder.

“Really?” Shin asked, his gaze searching.

“Really,” Miki answered.

Shin studied him for a moment, then he stepped closer and pulled Miki into a tight hug. Wrapping his arms around Miki’s shoulders. Miki bit his lower lip overwhelmed by the warmth of Shin surrounding him.

Miki closed his eyes and pressed his ear against Shin’s chest, listening to Shin’s heartbeat. It was fast. The beat racing, like his raced when he was close to Shin. The sound of it soothed him, made his own heartbeat settle.

“That’s a relief,” Shin whispered pressing his cheek on top of Miki’s head. “You’ve made me happy.”

“You made me happy too,” Miki confessed as Shin let go of him and took a step back. “I was afraid I was alone.”

“You’re not alone anymore, Miki.”

Shin took Miki’s left hand with his right, holding it tight.

Miki knew then that he would never forget the feel of Shin’s warm fingers holding his. The feeling so new, yet so right it felt like they had always held hands. He loved that Shin didn’t care what anyone thought. He loved it even more when Shin brushed his lips on his forehead. They turned back the way they had come. The scenery felt different this time. Each stop they made turned into a precious memory, like pictures in a photo book. Miki held it in, this new feeling of having Shin care for him.

He watched Shin take pictures with his phone, and then with Miki’s camera. Shin took photos of them together, teasing Miki until all he did was laugh with each snapshot. Miki didn’t care and laughed with abandon, so insanely happy that Shin still held his hand and walked alongside him.

It was evening by the time they got back to the parking lot where they had started. Miki’s feet ached from walking so much, but he didn’t regret it. Instead, his brain was preoccupied with Shin’s smiles, Shin’s jokes, Shin hugging him...he was choke full of unforgettable moments.

Sunha, Roberto and Min were seated on benches near the parking lot eating hotdogs. Their gazes rested on them, and Min waved at them. Miki started to pull his hand out of Shin’s hold, but the man wouldn’t let him, instead tangling their fingers. Miki felt his face flush with heat, wondering if his friends would ask questions. Wonder why Shin held his hand so tight.

What about Min?

Min stood up from the bench when they reached them and held out two sausages in greeting.

“Figured you guys were hungry,” Min said with a grin. “Miki, did you enjoy Saemiwon garden?”

“How did you know that was where we went?” Miki asked, taking his hotdog.

“Shin mentioned it last night after you went to bed. He wanted to see the fountain with you.” Min’s gaze rested on their clasped hands. “I figured he’d drag you there whether you wanted to go or not.”

Sunha chuckled.

“Are you done?” Shin asked Sunha.

Sunha nodded.

“While you guys were out having fun, I earned my money.”

“And I missed my be-a-tourist day,” Roberto complained.

“What tourist? You’ve been here four years. Let’s go get drinks,” Sunha said. “I’ll pay.”

“Yes,” Min said, first to agree.

“Non-alcoholic drinks for you,” Shin said.

“Come on, don’t spoil the fun,” Sunha said, standing from the bench. “We can get snacks too and have them at the Inn. No driving.”

Shin glanced at Miki.

Miki gave him a nod, and Shin sighed.

“One drink for Min then,” Shin said.

“Judging from experience he’ll only need half a beer,” Roberto teased, getting up too.

Two hours later found them back at the inn, lounging in the garden around a bonfire pit. The tables around them were laden with bottles of soju and side dishes. Min turned on music, docking his ipod on speakers he borrowed from the inn office. They danced, ate, made noise, played card games. They were lucky the other guests were out for the night.

Sunha insisted they play ‘truth or dare’. Of course, Sunha was spinning the bottle, and asking questions designed to make the hardiest man blush.

“Wait, wait,” Sunha ordered when Miki started to get up from the table to go pee mid-game. “You’re not running away.”

“I need to piss,” Miki said, surprised that he could stand. He’d drained five bottles already, more than he had ever drank. His balance was off, but he could walk. Guess he hadn’t reached his limits yet. Damn it, he’d hoped to escape the game.

“Water granny’s flowers,” Roberto said, from his spot on a long bench. He lay stretched out on his back, his head resting on Min’s lap.

Min laughed at the suggestion, his head tipped back staring at the sky. “I’m sure she’ll appreciate that, Miki.”

“Whatever,” Miki started to head to the house, but then Shin grabbed his arm and turned him in the direction of the roses.

“Don’t get it poked,” Shin said.

Miki chuckled.

“I’m going to spin the bottle while you piss,” Sunha persisted. “You and Shin are the only ones who haven’t answered questions. So don’t run yet.”

“Whatever,” Miki said unzipping his trousers.

Roberto clapped as Sunha’s bottle noisily went around on the wooden table.

Miki moaned in relief as he peed in the bushes, finishing in time to hear Min’s excited shout.

“Shin is next!”

“Yes, finally,” Sunha said with strange satisfaction.

Miki zipped up and wiped his hands on his jeans. He turned around to find Shin reclined on a comfortable couch watching him. His dark eyes alert, Miki thought he looked too sober.

“What do you wanna know?” Shin asked, patting the spot next to him, his gaze never leaving Miki.

“That,” Sunha said pointing at them when Miki sat next to Shin.

Shin dropped the arm he had stretched over the back of the couch on Miki’s shoulders.

“What’s that?” Miki asked, taking the half-full bottle of Soju he’d left on the bottle.

“You two,” Sunha said, his tone way too curious. “Miki keeps talking about you every chance he gets, until I’ve been curious to meet you, Shin. Then on the drive here, Shin, you kept looking at Miki sleep. It was slightly disturbing how obsessed you seem. You have barely left each other’s side today. Are you two an item?”

Miki chocked on his drink, leaning forward afraid his beer would come out of his nose. He coughed and wiped his mouth when Shin rubbed his back.

“Yes.” Shin answered with conviction.

Miki glanced at him in shock. They barely had whatever this was started.

Were they ready to have everyone know?

Shin gave him a small assuring smile and held out a napkin from the table. Miki took it and wiped his mouth.

“Is it true?” Min asked, drawing Miki’s attention.

“Min,” Miki started.

“I want to hear it from Shin,” Min said.

“What do you want to hear, Min? That I care for Miki more than I dare admit?” Shin asked, taking Miki’s right hand. He tangled their fingers tight. “Does it disgust you?”

Min held Shin’s gaze.

“Do you think I’m that type of person?” Min asked, his tone full of pain. “Miki, do you see what my big brother thinks of me?”

“I do,” Miki said. “Shin loves you, Min. He might not say it, but it’s there. He worries about you. He almost kicked me out of the house the day I brought you home drunk.”

“You’re drunk, Miki,” Shin squeezed his fingers. “Stop talking—

“I won’t,” Miki said, scowling at Shin. “You’re in the wrong too. Staying aloof, like a robot. How do you expect Min to know what you’re thinking? You two end up misunderstanding each other. It’s annoying to watch.”

“Okay, stop,” Sunha raised his arms in surrender. “We’re too drunk for a therapy session. I just wanted to know if you guys are together.”

“Yes we’re together,” Miki answered, pointing his finger at Sunha. “You can stop asking me about getting a girlfriend.”

Sunha laughed. “Guess so.”

Miki took his bottle of beer and drank a healthy sip. His gaze collided with Min’s, and he smiled. When Min simply stared at him, he sighed.

Roberto changed the mood when he stood up and pulled Min up to dance with him. They drifted into the inn, followed by Sunha.

“Finally,” Shin said when they were alone.

Miki finished the bottle of soju, and burped. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand and stared at the messy table.

“Miki,” Shin said, and he shifted on the couch to look at him.

“Are you upset I told them?”

Miki wanted to say yes, but he knew that was a lie. Instead, he felt relief. Relief that Shin liked him back, which was huge…so huge, he’d barely had time to let it sink in. Because of Shin, he didn’t have to worry about his friends leaving him for liking guys or hiding his feelings for Shin. Meeting dark eyes, Miki knew then that deep inside what upset him was the fear that this might be a dream.

“Shin.”

“I’m not afraid to have everyone know I care for you, Miki. Unless you’re uncomfortable—

“I’m not upset.” Miki shifted on the couch until he sat facing Shin. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Making my day today,” Miki said.

Shin smiled and Miki reached to trace the curve of Shin’s lips. So soft to the touch. He wondered what they’d feel like against his. He lifted his gaze to Shin’s and then he wasn’t wondering anymore. In a blooming garden, the moonlight high above, in the cool night, Shin kissed him for the first time.

Miki closed his eyes, when soft lips touched his, the kiss was gentle. His first ever, it sent warmth racing through him, down to his toes. He opened his eyes when Shin pulled back. Their lips inches apart. He craved more, felt as though he needed to memorize the taste of Shin. The feel of him. He exhaled when Shin smiled and tilted his head again. This time their kiss was mutual; needy, full. Miki moaned when Shin wrapped his arms around him, molding him close.

Miki wrapped his own arms around Shin’s neck, opening his mouth as Shin swept in, taking. Fanning a burning need, so feverish, his cock hardened, and turned sensitive he worried he’d ruin his jeans. He started to pull back, breathless but Shin tightened his hold on him. Breaking their kiss, Shin trailed kisses along his jaw, to his neck, then Shin licked a sensitive spot at the curve of his neck, tracing it with his tongue. A harsh gasp escaped when Shin bit that spot hard, triggering a burst of unbearable pleasure sweeping through him. Miki bunched Shin’s t-shirt, burying his face into Shin’s shoulder, a moan on his lips, he came hard, his body shuddering under the hot force of it.

Panting for air in the aftermath, Miki felt mortified at the clear mess in his pants.

“You burn hot,” Shin murmured in his ear stroking Miki’s back. “It’s sexy, baby.”

Miki groaned, refusing to lift his face from Shin’s shoulder.

“I’m a mess.”

“My mess,” Shin answered. “You’re beautiful, Miki.”

Shin’s words, Shin’s touch, Shin’s kisses…Miki lost himself in Shin for the rest of the night. They made it back to their room, Miki remembered feeling eager, caught on the edge, excitement racing through his veins. They took a shower together, then Shin blew his mind when he decided to kiss every inch of him. Immersed in the feel of Shin’s lips trailing on his heated skin, cool and maddening, until Miki balanced on a fine edge of pleasure and Shin was the only person in the world. He came twice. Then his fingers were bunching the sheets as Shin entered him with one hard stroke of his pulsing length. Unbearable pain, eased by Shin’s heated hands stroking his back, then Shin moved deep inside him and pleasure followed. They came together in a frenzied union, reaching the end with harsh cries, afterwards clinging to each other until they fell asleep.

As dawn crept in the next morning, Miki woke up first and shifted to watch the sky change through the wide windows. They’d not closed the curtains the night before. Shin lay behind him, one arm tight around Miki, their feet tangled under the covers. Miki never wanted to move from the bed.

All his life he’d fulfilled other people’s wishes, well, mostly his parents’ dreams.

It was amazing to discover the only wish he wanted right this second was to be able to keep Shin.

He would surely be content with a lifetime of waking up beside Shin like this.

***

…Unexpectedly,

I found my Soul in Seoul…

It took no time at all, when you became mine.

***

Part 6 : Loving the Rain, A Birthday, and Park Shin’s Heart.

It took no time at all for the word like to change into love. Miki wondered if he’d even known the difference. His feelings for Shin were an entity growing too fast even he couldn’t keep up. Maybe it was because they lived together. There was no distance to tamp their desire, nothing to hold them back, or keep them apart.

“Mr. Hayashi.”

Miki looked up from his paper to find his professor standing by his desk.

He stopped twirling his pen and focused on his paper. Thankfully, he’d finished writing down his thoughts on entrepreneurship in Korea ten minutes ago.

“If you’re done with your paper, you can turn it in and leave. You’re daydreaming in my class,” Mr. Kim said, his tone bereft of amusement.

Miki handed over his paper with an apologetic smile. Taking his book bag, he got up and waved at Roberto and Sunha who were hiding laughs. Punks, it would probably take them the next fifteen minutes to complete their papers. He stuck his tongue out at them and left the room.

Mr. Kim’s class was his last. He walked along the main corridor heading to the library to drop off two books he’d borrowed. He left the library thirty minutes later after borrowing three more books, and was headed downstairs when his phone buzzed. His lips curved into a smile when he saw the message from Shin.

“Come to room C304.”

Miki changed direction heading to the Communications department. He’d discovered Shin’s major was communications and technology. Shin wanted to work in journalism, had made three documentaries already that had been bought by a major broadcasting company. Miki found room C304, pausing at the door to let three guys carrying equipment pass.

When he entered the room, he found Shin leaning on the wall, watching a video on a handheld camera. There weren’t any other students in the room, so Miki dropped his bag and books on the closest chair. He walked around the room to where Shin stood, and leaned on the wall beside him.

“Hey,” Shin said. “Are you done with your test?”

“A while back,” he said, resting his chin on Shin’s shoulder so that he too could watch the video. He watched a young woman dance ballet on a lighted stage. She looked beautiful in a white dress, her feet in white stockings and pink ballet slippers.

“What’s this?” Miki asked.

Shin fast forwarded the video, then stopped it. When the video started playing again, Miki frowned when he saw the same young woman dressed in baggy clothes, walking into a very small house on top of a building. She was greeted by three children and an older woman who lay on a bed in the small house.

“She’s struggling to support her family,” Shin said. “She works three jobs, and only gets two hours of practice in the theater in our department. Last week, the school gave her a notice. If she can’t pay the practice fees, she won’t be allowed to practice anymore. So, I asked her to let me do a short documentary on her life for my project.”

“How much are you paying her?” Miki asked, forgetting the woman in the video. His gaze on Shin.

“I cleared her theater fees.” Shin glanced at him when he didn’t say anything. “What?”

“You,” Miki said, his heart melting at Shin’s bleeding heart. “You can’t help the whole world.”

“She’s one woman,” Shin said, with a small shrug. “I could afford it, and she couldn’t, so I helped.”

“If five more women bring you their pitiful stories, are you going to help them too?”

Shin met his gaze and shrugged. Miki reached up to rub Shin’s shaggy head. His boyfriend had a soft spot for suffering people.

“Stop looking at me that way,” Shin said, turning off the video.

“Why do you only show this side of you to me?” Miki asked, when Shin moved to stow away the camera.

Shin shrugged, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He turned to Miki, pressing him against the wall, and kissed his jaw.

“You’re special to me,” Shin murmured into his ear. “I’ve missed you.”

Miki wrapped his arms around Shin’s waist. “We saw each other at lunchtime.”

“And it has been two hours since lunch,” Shin smiled, sweeping his fingers through Miki’s hair. “That’s two hours I haven’t seen you look at me like I own the world. Two hours I haven’t seen you smile, or kissed you.”

“Such honey-sweet words, I know what you want from me,” Miki teased with a laugh.

“Do you?” Shin asked, leaning close to kiss the corner of his lips. “Wanna do it right here?”

“No,” Miki bunched Shin’s t-shirt with his fingers and tried to pull him back without success.

“Why not?” Shin asked, pressing his weight against Miki, holding him in place.

“Think of it as me protecting you,” Miki said, tilting his head back so that he met Shin’s amused gaze. “You still need to graduate from this place, Shin.”

Shin sighed and stole a quick kiss that had Miki closing his eyes.

“Looks like I’ll have to wait until we get home,” Shin said, stepping back. He took Miki’s hand and pulled him away from the wall. “I’m hungry.”

Shin led him to the table where his bag was. Miki took his books while Shin grabbed up his bag and carried it with his over his shoulder.

“Spicy or Sweet?” Miki asked once they were in the corridor headed to the exit.

“Spicy,” Shin said with a grin.

“Not too spicy,” Miki complained remembering the last time they’d gone out to eat. He was afraid his stomach lining would burn away.

“Mild spicy for you,” Shin adjusted with a wicked grin.

Outside, they headed to Shin’s car. Shin drove into traffic minutes later headed to Itaewon. Miki fiddled with the radio. Once he found a good rock station, he left it on and smiled when Shin’s fingers tapped on the steering wheel to the beat.

They drove in silence, then when they crossed into Itaewon, the raindrops came. Big, fat drops that cooled the heat of the day. Shin stopped the car on their street, pulling over to the curb.

“I was going to take you to Ahjumma’s place. You like her chicken,” Shin said. “Is it better to eat in the coffee shop? I don’t want you to catch a cold.”

Ahjumma’s Restaurant was a small place two alleys away. It was always better to walk there. Miki glanced out at the rain, glad to see it wasn’t a heavy rain, more like a light drizzle. He checked the side of his door and sure enough a black umbrella was lodged in there. Pulling it out, he held it up to Shin.

“Wanna go for a walk?” he asked.

Shin grinned and turned off the engine. He got out of the car and Miki did too, opening the umbrella just as Shin reached him. He handed over the handle to Shin who was taller. Making sure the car was locked, they started walking up the street. The rain had sent everyone running for shelter. Shin wrapped his right arm over Miki’s shoulders, pulling him close. The umbrella held low kept the rain away.

“Today, during my test, Professor Kim caught me daydreaming, and…”

Miki told Shin about his afternoon adventures. Their footsteps matched as they made their way to the restaurant. Shin laughed with him. They talked about Roberto and Sunha, about Shin’s documentary; their conversation thoroughly wrapping them in their own little world, they didn’t notice the rain. Miki found himself hoping that it would rain everyday after that, because he loved how Shin held him close, making sure the umbrella covered him. At the restaurant, Miki paused to wipe water off Shin’s left shoulder where he’d neglected to cover, and wondered how his heart would ever manage the intensity of this love…this growing love that was already overflowing for Shin.

A week after their walk in the rain, on Saturday morning, Miki came out of the bedroom carrying his laundry basket. Shin was at the kitchen table writing out his list of chores.

“Why do you always leave us to clean up?” Miki asked, placing his laundry basket on the floor. “You don’t help.”

“Because I keep up with the cleaning the rest of the week,” Shin said.

“Bullshit,” Miki complained. “When do you vacuum? I’m with you—

“You leave to go to class early, followed by Min,” Shin said, glancing at him. “Who do you think cleans up the dishes and straightens up the house after.”

“A visiting fox,” Min answered coming out of his room with a yawn.

“Don’t be cheeky,” Shin said, frowning at Min.

“Still,” Miki moved to stand beside Shin so that he could read the list. “Look at this, brush the couch cushions, scrub the balcony, I’m worried you’re going to add sweeping the roof on here one of these days. Min and I need a Saturday off.”

“Then who will do the chores then?” Shin asked.

“You,” Min answered, resting his head on the table. “Miki, I’m hungry. I want an omelet.”

“Make it yourself,” Shin said.

Miki ignored him and went to the fridge. “Don’t change the subject, why don’t we exchange. Min and I will clean up during the week, and you take over that ridiculous list this weekend.”

Min lifted his head his gaze wide with hope.

“Are you going to get to school late or wake up earlier?” Shin asked.

“We’ll figure it out,” Miki answered taking out eggs from the fridge. He placed them on the counter. “Shin—

“Do you hate doing this list that much?” Shin asked, pushing the list away. “Is that it, Miki? Do you want us to stop cleaning up and live in the dust?”

“That’s not what I mean,” Miki braced his hands on the table. “I’m saying that you go overboard sometimes. The place doesn’t need to look perfect, Shin. We don’t mind a little dust—

“Well I do,” Shin stated. “I mind it a lot. What now? Do you want me to take it on alone? Will that work for you?”

“We are not refusing to do the chores.”

“That’s not what I’m getting from this,” Shin argued.

“No, you are just being an asshole,” Miki said resenting the fact that Shin didn’t even want to hear his side. “We haven’t refused to do the chores. We do them every time you list them. I’m asking you to consider the fact that we need a break from time to time. Do you understand that?”

“When we went out of town, did I insist you do them?” Shin glared at him. “That was a break.”

“One break in weeks,” Miki pointed out, suddenly angry that this was turning into an argument. He’d meant to only joke with Shin about the darned chores, but instead Shin had decided to turn them into an issue. Fine then, he wasn’t backing down. “What if Miki and I want to go to an amusement park? Huh? What then?”

“Have you told me that you want to go to an amusement park?” Shin asked.

“That’s not the point, is it?” Miki glared at Shin for a moment, then turned to the cupboards to find a frying pan.

Shin sat at the table staring at him, he could feel those eyes digging daggers into his back.

Taking a bowl, he cracked two eggs into it, and cursed when the third egg crashed and shell pieces fell in.

“Hojun,” Min’s voice filled the deadly silence that followed. Miki turned to see Min talking into his phone. “Come quickly, Hyung is fighting with his wife.”

“I am not his wife,” Miki snapped, grabbing a green bell pepper from the veggie basket. He dumped it in the sink followed by a red one.

“Might as well be,” Min murmured under his breath, placing his phone on the table.

“Do you want me to make you an omelet or not?”

“I’m sorry,” Min said, his gaze contrite.

Miki wondered why he’d ended up living with two of the most impossible creatures in the world. He chopped bell peppers, onions, and cilantro fast. He grated ginger root and crashed garlic. Cooking two omelets as fast as he could. He placed both plates on the table, one for Min and the other for Shin. Ignoring his boyfriend, Miki wiped his hands on a dish cloth and left the kitchen without saying another word. Taking his laundry basket, he left the house and went downstairs headed to the laundry room behind the building.

***

“My wife,” Shin scoffed staring at the omelet on his plate. “Do you want him to run away from us?”

Min chuckled, getting up to find forks. He handed one to Shin and returned to his spot to eat his omelet.

“Who told you to write a list of chores a mile long?” Min asked. “You could accept Hojun’s offer to get a cleaning service.”

Shin sighed, poking at his omelet. A laugh escaped when he saw an egg shell. Miki’s temper was frightening.

“Better eat it,” Min challenged with a smirk.

“God, I love him,” Shin said, removing the egg shell. He cut out a small bite, and ate the omelet. Miki was a great cook.

“Now what?” Min asked when they both finished eating.

Shin took their plates and went to the sink to clean up. He cleared the mess Miki had made while making the omelets.

“Now we make up,” Shin said, when he was done with clean up.

“Yeah right,” Min sighed, taking up the list of chores. “Throw this out.”

“No way,” Shin shook his head.

“Let me give you a clue, it will be a plus for you if you let Hojun sort this list,” Min advised. “I like you with Miki around, don’t fuck it up.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Before Miki walked in here, you’d never sit at this table to eat with me. Or even cared that I ate breakfast in the morning,” Min scoffed. “We could go a week without seeing each other, even though we live in the same house. Do you know how dysfunctional that is? Miki has fixed us.”

Shin stared at his half-brother. Hojun chose that moment to walk into the house, carrying grocery bags, his hair disheveled as though he’d been running.

“Please don’t tell me you’re fighting,” Hojun said in greeting.

“No.” Shin grabbed the list he was making out of Min’s hand.

“Where is Miki?” Hojun asked, placing the grocery bags on the kitchen table. He looked around, with a frown. “Please don’t tell me you kicked him out.”

Min went to the coffee pot to get a mug full.

“No, Shin argued with him over the chores.”

“Come on,” Hojun sighed. “Shin, the crew that cleans the offices in the coffee shop is supposed to clean up here too. Will you stop being stubborn and allow them to do their jobs?”

“He has Miki doing those chores—

“Fine,” Shin gave into Hojun, balling the list and throwing it into the trash.

Hojun gaped. “What has happened to you? And who is Min calling your wife?”

“Miki.” Min answered sipping coffee with a small happy sigh.

“Huh?” Hojun frowned.

Shin took the mug from Min and drank the too sweet coffee. Min liked his sugar.

“If you don’t like the bitterness, stop drinking the coffee,” Shin said.

“That’s my coffee, I’ll drink it however I want,” Min took back the mug and leaned on the counter.

Shin blinked when he had the sound of a camera flashing. Turning to Hojun, he found the man taking photos of them with his phone.

“Sending your father pictures,” Hojun smiled. “He won’t believe me otherwise.”

Shin scowled. “Why did you come again?”

“I was on the way, even without Min calling me. Today is Min’s birthday.” Hojun announced. “I thought it would be nice if we made a nice lunch, then maybe get a cake from the coffee shop.”

Shin turned to Min. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You’ve never asked before,” Min answered, his tone low, sad.

“Min.” Shin stared at the sixteen year old boy feeling like a bastard. “I’m sorry I didn’t know it was your birthday. I’d have made you seaweed soup.”

“You still can,” Hojun said, touching the grocery bags he’d brought. “I have the ingredients. Where is Miki?”

“I wasn’t kidding about the fight,” Min said. “Shin annoyed him, now he’s downstairs doing laundry.”

“What did you say?” Hojun demanded of Shin. “Go fix it.”

Shin messed up Min’s hair and laughed when Min tilted his head away.

“Fine, I’ll go find my Miki. Wouldn’t want him choosing to move in to the coffee house over chores.”

Shin winked at Min and turned to leave. He was at the door when he heard Hojun ask.

“What’s happened with our Shin? He’s acting like a human.”

Human, interesting word to use, Shin thought as he went downstairs.

The sun was shining today. It was a perfect day to visit the park, or even go out exploring. Miki loved walking the streets, most times dragging Shin along with him when he could. Sometimes they took pictures, at other times bought street food, or they just sat on benches in parks and talked for hours. Those hours in parks were his most favorite, Shin thought. Miki’s desire to live as hard as he could fueled his own, pulling him out of the deep dark hole he’d lived in the past year and a half.

Watching his mother’s world crumble into bits hadn’t been easy. One second they were happy, visiting the coffee shop together, teasing his dad when the employees insisted he pay for their meals. Shin had loved that his parents thought the loft above the coffee shop was perfect for him. Even giving him the keys so that he could use the loft when he wanted to study in quiet. Shin had thought his parents wanted to spend time alone and been tickled by the idea.

Then the next second, a fifteen year old boy stood in their living room claiming he was a Park. Shin’s mother had collapsed in a dead faint.

Shin paused at the bottom of the stairs, his gaze on a woman walking her dog down the street. His mother had liked to go on walks too. She would take him when he was free, and they would end up stopping to pet the neighborhood dogs. His mother loved dogs, but his father was allergic so they couldn’t keep one. To compensate for this sacrifice, Shin’s mother showered all the neighborhood dogs with affection and praises.

Shin called it her obsession.

She would laugh and say that her true obsession was him. was her obsession. She’d tell him how much she loved him. How much she treasured him.

Until that moment when Min had stood in the living room of the Park Household claiming to be a Park too.

Park Haesoo fainted in shock and when she woke up, her heart had been too damaged to ever mend again. Broken into fine pieces that not even her precious son could put together. One morning, Shin woke up to find his mother packed. She kissed him, hugged him, promised to call and promptly got into a cab headed to the airport.

She left him alone to deal with the new family member.

His father’s solution to the mess he had created was to move Min into the loft Shin used as escape. Insisting they were brothers, and should therefore learn to live with each other. How insane that sounded at the time.

Devastated, Shin devoted his time to school, unable to reconcile the fact that his father would betray his mother. Fifteen years was a long time to hide a secret, especially a living, breathing one. A secret that lived with him, ate food in a kitchen his mother had decorated, sat in a living room his mother designed. The dark hole got wider, and deeper, until Shin felt like he too was drowning in the endless pit.

It didn’t help that his mother had gone to New York and kept her silence. The only communication she sent him was an email every two weeks.

Then Miki arrived, right as it was getting unbearable, his smile wide, his excitement filling every corner of the loft.

Shin couldn’t help but be drawn to Miki’s light. How easily Miki laughed, how he teased Min, and treated him like a little brother. Shin had been jealous that first day when Miki shared the chicken with Min, wanting Miki’s attention, he claimed the last piece for himself.

Then there was the list of chores.

Well, truthfully the list of chores was a bit childish. He’d been annoyed by Hojun’s need to paint him a great big ogre with Min. Yes, he found it extremely difficult to talk to Min, it even drove him nuts to see Min walking around his house. After all, Min was the reason his family was no longer happy. The reason why his mother only sent him emails with one line that said, ‘Take care of yourself’.

Why couldn’t Hojun understand that?

So, yes, he snapped a little when Min left shit lying around. The damn loft needed to stay clean, so he made a list. A list that grew every time he found Min had finished each chore without one complaint.

Of course, Shin hadn’t counted on Miki taking on the list as well.

Shin had wanted to stop writing the list then, but then Miki and Min bonded over the darned chores. His annoyance grew at their apparent friendship, and with that, the list grew too. Thinking about it now, he deserved a bit of Miki’s anger.

Oh Miki, Shin sighed.

Miki with his dark, silky hair, cut to frame his face in the most delectable of ways. Miki’s brown eyes that turned liquid brown when he was happy, deep brown when he was angry or emotional. His pink lips succulent and soft, not to mention delicious to taste.

Shin touched his own thinking of their kisses. There were nights he kissed Miki until they were both out of breath and even then, he only gave them both a half-second to recover. Gods, there was nothing like watching Miki ignite with passion, Miki was so responsive, his heat burned Shin to a crisp. He loved losing himself in Miki’s body, enjoying their combined heat, taking in Miki’s throaty moans of ecstasy as he drove him higher and higher. Loved it most when they came together, their hearts beating fast, bound together as though they were one.

Miki raised him out of the dark hole, took him into blinding light, dragging him out without leaving him a choice. There were nights he lay watching Miki sleep on his bed, and wondered how they’d ever lived apart. Wished that Miki would stay in Seoul for the rest of his life and not return to Tokyo.

Shin wiped a hand down his face.

He’d almost gone crazy when Miki had to fly out in the middle of April to go see his family for two days. Two days apart, separated by an ocean, had been too much. Shin showed up at the airport two hours early on the day of Miki’s return. Eager to see Miki the moment he got off the plane.

Now, they were in mid-June, the year moving faster than they both imagined. They didn’t have time to waste on petty fights over chores. Miki’s year in Seoul would end in November. Miki needed to return to finish his third year at Tokyo University. His very smart boyfriend wanted to graduate by the end of 2017. Thinking about it made Shin break out in a cold sweat. He didn’t know how he was going to live without Miki once he was gone. Preferred not to think about it.

Shin got up from the stairs and practically ran to the back of the building. The laundry room door was open. He entered and stopped when he saw Miki seated on top of a counter against the wall.

“Took you long enough,” Miki said in greeting.

“I’m sorry.”

“The fight was stupid.” Miki folded his arms against his chest.

“You have every right to be annoyed with that list,” Shin said taking a step closer, though he stopped a few feet away from Miki. “I talked to Hojun. Asked him to sort it out.”

“Why?”

“Because you are right,” Shin said. “You shouldn’t have to worry about chores. If you want to go to an amusement park with Min, I’ll take you—”

“Why did you write that list?” Miki asked, interrupting his tirade. “I don’t care about doing the chores. I just wondered why you needed to write that stupid list every Saturday morning. It annoyed me you didn’t even stay to help out.”

“I—,” Shin started and stopped.

“Is it because of Min?” Miki asked. “Some sort of punishment?”

Shin was not amused that Miki could read him so clearly.

“Shin.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Yes it does,” Miki jumped off the counter and came to stand before him. “I don’t know what’s between you and Min, but you need to find a way to live with it. Hmm…otherwise, it will destroy you both.”

“Min and I,” Shin started, then stopped when Miki cupped his jaw. “There’s a lot of baggage between us.”

“We all have baggage,” Miki said with a small smile. “You gotta drop it otherwise it will drag you down.”

“Why are you an expert?” Shin asked, stepping closer so that he could pull Miki into his arms.

“I’m not,” Miki answered, resting his head on Shin’s left shoulder. “I was worried we’d fight all day. I was determined not to talk to you if you didn’t come looking for me.”

“Because Min called you my wife?”

Miki bit Shin’s shoulder through his t-shirt and he yelped, stepping back.

“Jeez, okay,” Shin rubbed the spot lifting his t-shirt to check whether Miki had broken skin. “You’re vicious when you choose, Hayashi.”

“Truce?” Miki offered going to the finished washing machine. He changed the cycle to drying and turned to look at Shin, his brow raised.

“Truce,” Shin said. “I’ve thrown out the list. You never have to see it again.”

“Thank you,” Miki smiled.

“Today is Min’s birthday,” Shin said then, unable to hide the pain lingering deep inside. He wondered what his mother would say about him celebrating Min’s birthday.

“My mother bakes cakes for our birthdays,” Miki said, coming to him.

“Mine made seaweed soup, and a big dinner in the evening. She’d get a birthday cake from the coffee house full of strawberries.”

“Then we should go in there and order one. Then you can show me how to make seaweed soup,” Miki suggested.

“I—,” Shin broke off, looking around the laundry room at a loss. “Miki, do you think I’m betraying my mother by accepting Min this way?”

“Why would you say that?” Miki asked.

Shin sighed.

“Min’s mother was my father’s mistress. My mother didn’t find out the truth until a year ago after Min’s mum died. My mum couldn’t take it. She was so hurt by my father’s betrayal, she left the country, Miki. Now, Min is living with me and here I am...,” Shin broke off, shaking his head. “What’s right, Miki?”

Miki exhaled.

“Consider Min’s point of view, Shin,” Miki said, in a gentle tone. “You’re his big brother, one he didn’t know existed until his mother died. Can you imagine the shock?”

Shin frowned then because he’d never once considered their story from Min’s side.

“His mother is gone,” Miki shrugged. “I imagine he’s not too close with your father. You’ve suddenly become the closest thing to a family he has. I imagine it must be hard for him to celebrate his birthday with you too.”

“But—,” Shin shook his head thinking of his mother.

“Min didn’t choose his parents,” Miki said, stroking Shin’s jaw. “He’s innocent in this too, Shin. Nothing can change the fact that he is your brother.”

Shin rested his forehead on Miki’s. “You’re right.”

“Besides,” Miki said, giving Shin a soft kiss on his lips. “Loving Min doesn’t take away from your love for your mum.”

“Who said anything about love?” Shin asked, placing his hands on Miki’s waist.

Miki laughed.

“You care about that grouchy teenager.”

“Maybe,” Shin said, studying Miki’s handsome face. Goodness, sometimes Shin felt that Miki existed to belong to him, and only him. “The only thing I know right now is that I love you, Miki.”

“Shin.”

“I love you.”

Miki’s lips curved into a mind-boggling smile, one that Shin felt needed to be tasted. So he leaned to kiss Miki, covering soft lips with his. Big mistake, because one taste always led to wanting more. They were in the laundry room, the staff from the coffee house came in and out at will. He groaned in as he broke their kiss with a sigh.

Miki’s eyes were closed, his arms tight around Shin’s shoulders.

“I love you too, Shin,” Miki murmured.

Simple words, such simple precious words…Shin held Miki and he knew then, that Hayashi Miki owned him: heart and soul.

That evening, seated at the sunken living room, a white cake decorated with red strawberries sat in the middle of the coffee table. Shin sat on the floor, Miki beside him, across them was Hojun and a grinning Min. They sang happy birthday and watched Min blow out the two candles Miki had convinced the coffee house staff to give them.

When Min cut the cake, he gave the first piece to Shin. Shin took the offered piece with a small smile, and for the first time, felt no anger flooding him when he saw Min’s happy face. This was right. It felt right, like a family had formed.

***

Part 7: A Garden Party at the Park Household and Shin’s Mom

June ended, July came along, each month filled with the joys of summer. Weekend trips away from Seoul, get-togethers with Sunha’s family, or Roberto’s. On lazy Sundays, Miki, Shin and Min spent the afternoons at home watching soccer, or movies.

Miki loved every second.

August rolled in with heat and new classes. Min’s school work was getting more involved, he was preparing to sit for the entrance exam into Seoul University. Due to that, Min spent more of his time with books and his study groups, some nights, sleeping over at his schoolmates houses. Shin grinned with pride whenever he heard that.

“He’s not going to disappear,” Sunha said, pinching Miki’s left arm.

“Ouch,” Miki rubbed the spot, scowling at Sunha. “Your mutant fingers hurt.”

Sunha chuckled and handed him a beer. It was a Saturday night. They were at Roberto's favorite underground club. The indie rock band rocking out on stage belonged to the girl Sunha liked, the one from the convenience store. Their music was pretty good, the club was pretty packed and it was only ten o’clock.

“What are you going to do in three months? You two have turned inseparable. How is he going to make it without you?” Sunha asked, watching Shin talk to the owner of the club at the bar counter with Roberto.

“Aren’t you worried about how I’ll make it without him?” Miki asked, watching Shin laugh.

“Miki,” Sunha touched his arm drawing his attention. “You are those stubborn bastards who would survive if you landed on Mars with only one tank of oxygen.”

“That’s a ridiculous scenario,” Miki shook his head. “Why would I be on Mars with one tank of oxygen. I mean does that even make sense—

“My point is,” Sunha interrupted. “You’ll be fine in Tokyo. You have this way of shutting out issues, and dealing with what you need to. I mean, look at you, thriving in Seoul as though you lived here all your life. I couldn’t tell you apart from a native.”

“But it’s Shin,” Miki said, his tone turning soft even to his ears.

“He’s the one who will miss you more,” Sunha said. “Maybe you should think of ending it with him—

“Impossible,” Miki said shaking his head, feeling sick at the mere thought of never holding Shin.

“Well,” Sunha said, his tone made Miki to look at him.

“What?” Miki asked, when he saw Sunha staring at him.

“I hadn’t seen it, but you two might actually damage each other more than I thought.” Sunha sighed and lifted his beer. “Well, whatever happens, at least it will be entertaining.”

“We still have time,” Miki said.

“Yes,” Sunha said with a smile as Shin started heading toward them.

“What are you guys talking about?” Shin asked, coming to sit next to Miki, placing his arm around Miki. “Are you upsetting him, Sunha?”

“Buddha forbid it,” Sunha said, rolling his eyes when Miki laughed.

“We came here so that you could get your woman back, Sunha,” Shin said, settling back on the couch. “She has a good voice.”

“She does,” Sunha said, his gaze on the woman singing on stage. “It’s too bad she chose loving the band over me.”

“You forced her to make the choice.” Miki pointed out. He drank his beer, settling back against Shin’s warmth. “Be a gentleman and talk to her.”

“Suri met my mother,” Sunha shook his head. “My mother who thinks a good daughter in-law should be a doctor. They crossed swords the moment they met.”

“I guess it now depends on you,” Shin said, stroking his fingers through Miki’s hair. “What do you want, Sunha? If Suri is the one you like, making her choose between her band and you because of your mum is wrong.”

“I only asked her not to talk about her band with my mother. It’s not easy you know, fighting a battle between those women. I care for them both.” Sunha sighed.

“Sunha,” Shin said, getting up from the couch. “If Suri is important to you, act like it. Otherwise, if you don’t want Suri, then let it end there. Don’t hurt her because she’s choosing what she’s passionate about.”

Shin winked at Sunha and took Miki’s beer from him. He tipped the bottle and drank deep, finishing it. Suri’s band finished their set, and the DJ took over. Placing the bottle on the table, Shin held out his hand to Miki.

“Dance with me?”

Miki took Shin’s hand and they headed to the dance floor. The best part about this club, no one cared what they did. They danced close, laughing when they moved too slow for the people around them and ended up pressed against each other. No hardship, Shin simply held him tighter.

Later, they slipped out of the club, but not before Miki saw Sunha talking to Suri in a corner. Outside, Miki realized he was more drank than he’d thought. He couldn’t walk a straight line and Shin had left his car at home.

When Miki tripped a third time, Shin crouched in front of him.

“Get on.”

“What are you doing down there?” Miki asked, bending over. His hands braced on his knees.

“I’ll carry you.”

Miki moved closer, touching Shin’s shoulder. “Are you sure you can carry me? You might break your back—

“Miki,” Shin said, his tone impatient.

“Alright, okay,” Miki said, getting on Shin’s back. He wrapped his arms tight around Shin’s neck, when Shin got up. “Don’t complain if I get too heavy.”

Shin adjusted his weight, his hands grasping Miki’s thighs tight as he started his walk.

“You’ll never get too heavy for me,” Shin said.

Shin took slow steps, clearly not eager to get home. Miki rested his chin on Shin’s shoulder and listened to him hum a song.

“I should get drunk more often,” Miki murmured when they were close to the house.

“Get drunk only when you’re with me,” Shin replied.

***

Miki nursed a hangover the next morning. Lying on the couch, with a cushion over his head, he listened to Shin and Min argue over a trigonometry problem in the kitchen. He was ready to explode and yell at them to stop when the door lock buzzed open.

Miki lifted his head, thinking it was Hojun and wondering if he could get Hojun to make him a cure for a hangover. Shin had no idea, and Min was equally clueless. He sat up when he saw an older man walk in, carrying a bag from the coffee shop downstairs.

“Dad,” both Min and Shin exclaimed.

Miki got up too, keenly aware of Shin’s open bedroom door. Shin’s bed was a mess, they’d not gotten the chance to make it. Miki hadn’t slept in his own room for months, and they often used his bed to keep their clean laundry. He hoped Mr. Park wouldn’t get curious about their sleeping habits.

Then again, not many parents were like his mother.

“How have you been?” Mr. Park asked, coming into the house with a friendly smile.

He wasn’t a tall man, instead short and sturdy. His hair graying at his temple, and his smile was genuine. Dressed in a casual white shirt and pale green slacks, he looked like he was on his way to a golf game.

“Good,” Min answered, standing beside his brother.

“You should have called,” Shin said. “We would have come to see you instead.”

“I wanted to see how you were getting along,” Mr. Park said. “And to meet Mr. Hayashi.”

Miki wiped a hand down his face hoping his eyes weren’t bloodshot. He ran fingers through his hair to try to tame it. This was such a disaster. His first time meeting Shin’s father and he was in an old swimming team t-shirt and pajama pants.

Perfect.

Min took the bag of food from Mr. Park and Miki climbed out of the living area to go greet the man formally. Up close, Miki noted that Shin had his father’s eyes, and his smile.

Giving the man a short bow, he introduced himself.

“I’m Hayashi Miki. Thank you for letting me stay here.”

Mr. Park extended his right hand in greeting and Miki shook it briefly.

“I’m sure you have had a time and a half adjusting to living with my sons,” Mr. Park said, coming closer to pat Miki’s shoulder. “Let me know if you need anything at all, Hayashi.”

“Yes, Sir.” Miki smiled glancing up in time to see Shin wink at him.

Mr. Park moved around him, his gaze taking in the loft. He went to the living area and chose to sit on the couch where Miki had been. Shin followed him, and Miki went to close the door to Shin’s bedroom.

“I won’t stay long,” Mr. Park said, beckoning for Min to join Shin. “I came here to remind you not to miss the Summer Shinjiru Party next week. It will be good for the staff to see my sons there.”

Miki noted that Shin stood too still, his fingers clenched into tight fists at his sides. He wanted to move closer and take Shin’s hand, but this was not the time.

“Hojun will help you get everything you need. Shin, I’ll entrust Min to you, drive him to our house,” Mr. Park said, then looking behind Shin, he smiled. “Hayashi, you are welcome as well.”

“Thank you, Sir,” Miki said.

“Good,” Mr. Park stood. “I like what you’ve done with the place. It looks well lived in. Your mother would be happy, Shin. Well, I’ll leave you to it.”

“I’ll walk you out,” Min said, following Mr. Park to the door.

Once the lock buzzed, Shin let out a harsh sigh and sat on the couch. Miki rushed to his side.

“How does he do it?” Shin asked, his head bent, his face buried in his hands. “The way he acts, it’s like he doesn’t remember my mother.”

Miki rubbed Shin’s back, hoping to calm him down.

“Baby, what do you mean?”

“My mother started the Summer Shinjiru Party,” Shin said, his voice heavy with anger. “She started the tradition, and to kick it off, she’d walk in with my father, and he would make a speech declaring how much he loved her. I don’t know that I can watch him get up on that stage without my mother. What will he even say? Everyone in the company knows what he did to her.”

“Shin.”

“Having Min there will surely cement all their thoughts. It will turn my mother into the woman who’s husband cheated,” Shin shook his head. “I know you think I’m being hard on Min, but be on my side this time, Miki..”

“I’m always on your side,” Miki kissed the top of Shin’s head.

“It is too hard, thinking of my pitiful mother. She won’t even come home, and my father still wants to celebrate.”

Miki sighed and glanced up when he heard the door close behind him. Min stood at the entrance, his gaze stricken. Clearly, he’d heard Shin’s tirade.

He met Miki’s gaze for an instant, then turned and left the loft.

Shin held on to Miki tight so he couldn’t go after the boy. Miki couldn’t help but wonder how the pain connecting Min and Shin would be healed. If only Shin’s mother would return. Surely, if she came back, she would help Shin resolve the anger growing inside him. He closed his eyes and held on to Shin hoping for a small miracle.

Thanks to Mr. Park’s visit, the frigid atmosphere returned between the brothers. Min didn’t come home after running out that Sunday. He appeared on Monday evening, and locked himself in his room. Miki had to knock and beg him to take his dinner. Shin didn’t bother to close the growing gap.

By the end of the week, Miki wanted to slap some sense into both of them. Hojun dropped off three summer suits. Miki was touched the man had included him in his thoughts.

When Hojun entered the loft late on Friday, at eleven o’clock, it was to find Miki alone in the house. Shin had left early in the morning and hadn’t returned. Min was supposedly studying with his friends.

“What happened to Shin’s mum?” Miki asked Hojun.

Hojun sat at the island table, and Miki got him a cup of coffee.

“What has Shin told you?” Hojun asked.

“That she left and hasn’t called him, though she promised to.”

“Yeah,” Hojun sighed and sipped his coffee. “I—I have done something, Miki. I don’t know whether it will help Shin or hurt him, but his mother made me promise.”

“Promise what?” Miki asked leaning his elbows on the table.

“Park Haesoo returned to Seoul around the time you came to stay here. She’s staying with a college friend of hers in Jeju Island. She wanted time.”

“Why would you not tell Shin?” Miki demanded. “He’s beating himself up every second—

“She made me promise not to tell him.” Hojun stared into his coffee. “You have to understand, Miki. This is not easy for her, either.”

“What about Shin and Min?” Miki asked. “They’re struggling.”

“Everyone is struggling.”

“Call her,” Miki said.

Hojun shook his head. “She won’t answer my calls anyway.”

“Give me her number.”

“You’ll end up giving it to Shin.” Hojun smiled. “I don’t want to break my promise to Haesoo, Miki. She’s done a lot for me.”

The whole family was stubborn, Miki thought shaking his head. Stubborn and insane.

“Fine, give me your phone. I’ll find her number. You’re totally absolved.”

Hojun laughed. “And what happens when you call?”

“That’s my business,” Miki said. “Go to the bathroom and leave your phone on the table if you won’t give it to me. I’ll steal it from you. Use the bathroom in my room.”

“Jeez,” Hojun stared at him for a moment, then got his cell phone and handed it to Miki. “There, guess you’re the one who knows what’s best now.”

Miki smiled, happy. He sent Haesoo’s contact information to his phone quickly before Hojun changed his mind.

“How is your school work going? Are you keeping up?” Hojun asked, sipping his coffee.

“Yeah, I’m enjoying it,” Miki stared at his phone. “My school work has never been a problem. Once again, I end up finishing my classes earlier than anticipated.”

“It’s the social side that’s the problem,” Hojun concluded.

Miki glanced up to find Hojun studying him.

“If you had a choice,” Hojun said. “Would you move here permanently?”

Miki frowned. When he’d been eager to leave Tokyo at the beginning of the year, his life had seemed uneventful. Now, after meeting Roberto, Sunha, Min, Hojun and Shin. Shin most especially…Seoul seemed like where he had truly lived though his life was in Tokyo.

“I don’t know,” Miki said. “I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

But then, maybe he should…he thought later when Shin crawled into their bed and pulled him into his arms.

Saturday arrived too soon. Shin dressed in silence. Min too. They ended up at the table in the kitchen, their expressions matching those found at a funeral parlor. Miki hated the silent ride to the Park Family home the most. He couldn’t even invite Sunha and Roberto since this was a family affair. Miki sighed when Shin pulled into his family home.

The Park family home was a modest two-story house with an enchanting backyard filled with flowers. Hidden in a quiet suburban area on the outskirts of Itaewon. The backyard was set up for a party: tables and chairs set in circles. Each one boasting a small tent to offer shade from the sun. There was a main dais where several seats were arranged under a much larger tent. Miki discovered this was where the family was to sit.

When he started moving away to join the general audience, Shin grabbed his hand and stopped him.

“Don’t leave me,” Shin said.

Miki ended up sitting between Shin and Min. Their silence was deafening. Miki hoped the message he’d written to Park Haesoo the night before would work. If she could only meet Shin, it would ease his mind...

“Min,” Miki said, passing a glass of strawberry juice to him. “This tastes really good. Hmm…don’t you want to try it.”

“I’m not thirsty,” Min said.

“You’re not thirsty. You’re not hungry.” Miki took the glass and drank from it. “You must be inhuman, Park Min. Look at all the food on the table. If you think you’ll be getting a spread like this at home, you’re in trouble.”

“Stop nagging,” Min grumbled.

Miki took a plate with what looked strawberry cake and with a fork placed a slice on Min's plate.

“What’s with this party?” Miki asked. “Strawberry theme on everything. Min, you have a sweet tooth, don’t you?”

Min shrugged then took the fork Miki held out.

“I’m only eating this because you keep nagging and it’s getting embarrassing,” Min said with a scowl.

Miki bit back a chuckle and turned to Shin.

“And you? Are you also inhuman? I’m not cooking for anyone when we get home.”

“I can cook,” Shin said, sitting with his arms folded against his chest.

“Fine. Act that way, you’ll be missing more than food,” Miki said, with a small flash of his smile.

Shin narrowed his gaze, looking at Miki. “What are you threatening to deny me?”

Miki leaned close to Shin so that he could whisper in his ear.

“If you don’t stop sulking, I’m not letting you touch me for a week, my love. You know how upset you get when we don’t—”

Shin placed his hand on Miki’s left thigh under the table. Miki bit his lower lip as Shin’s hand slid high, dangerously high.

“Do you think you can leave without me?” Shin asked in a whisper.

Miki groaned, dropping his hand to stop Shin before he disgraced himself, jeez, there was no winning with this one.

“Shin, behave,” Miki said, when Shin’s hand stayed on his thigh. “I was wrong. Still, can you stop sulking like a big baby. We’re already here. Let’s try and make the most of this party.”

Shin looked around the busy garden, then turned to him and blew in to his ear. Miki bit his lower lip hard to keep from moaning.

“Should we go into the house?” Shin asked. “I know every secret place where you won’t be heard when you scream.”

Miki got a strawberry cookie from a plate and stuffed it into Shin’s mouth.

Shin laughed, reaching up to make sure he didn’t choke on the cookie.

“Find a room,” Min grumbled.

The afternoon passed that way. Miki working hard to get the two brothers to talk, and eat, even interact with each other. It was exhausting. He was on his way back to their table from his escape to the bathroom when the commotion started.

Guests spoke in whispers, and Miki had to fight his way through to get to the main tent. Dodging a waiter carrying dirty plates, he stopped when he saw an elegant woman in red standing by his table. He could only see her back.

Min stood beside his chair, his eyes wide in surprise. Shin…his darling Shin, sat still, staring up at the woman, his expression blank. Miki started to rush to him, but then Shin got up fast and pulled the woman into his arms.

“Omma,” Shin said, his voice heavy with emotion.

Miki stopped, relief flooding him. He’d hoped. Park Haesoo had definitely not disappointed.

“My Shin,” she cooed, wrapping her arms around her taller son. She squeezed tight, and Shin smiled, lifting her up. “I’ve missed you, my love. I missed you so much.”

“Me too, Mum,” Shin answered, burying his face into her shoulder.

***