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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Speech Therapy - 1. Chapter 1

Colin stood at the window and the blood ran cold through his veins. His heart beat faster. His fingers tightened on the shiny brass of the window handle. His body trembled from head to toe. Pellets of sweat slipped down his forehead as the truth of the moment hit him like a ton bricks.

A hole in the garden, the size of a dustbin lid, lay open for all the world to see, in the exact place he had buried the briefcase.

He thought of all the excuses; the lies he could tell to get out of it. Insurance money? Give one reason why anyone would bury insurance money. A gift? Name the person who had given such a generous gift. His family would reject him. Treat him like an outcast. He will have to face the full wrath of the law. No way would his mother harbour a criminal in her home. It couldn’t be his brother. Afraid-of-the-dark-Andrew. He would never have dug it out of the ground at night.

A low knock on his bedroom door startled him. He opened it to find Andrew clutching the soiled briefcase close to his chest.

“Wanna talk?’ Andrew said, with eyes wide open.

“C....c....come in.”

Andrew stepped inside and cautiously sat down on the edge of his bed.

Colin clenched his fists and his blue eyes drilled into Andrew. His large hands itched. He wanted to throttle him; he possessed the strength to do just that. Huge arms and legs that could kick-start a Boeing. Andrew had no business digging the briefcase out of the ground.

Colin pulled up a chair and sat opposite him, staring. Unblinking.

‘I counted seventy-five thousand bucks.’ Andrew said. His urchin face twitched. ‘Is this a bad thing, Colin?’

Colin held his tongue for a moment. As big as he was, he had to think about each word before speaking. At school they called him Scatman. Laughed at him. At home they understood that a person who stuttered needed time to turn words into sentences. He wiped a strand of black hair away from his wet forehead. His hands trembled. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it to avoid embarrassing himself.

‘Seventy-five thousand bucks is a lot of money. What did you do?’ Andrew clasped the briefcase closer to his chest.

Colin buried his soccer ball face in his hands indicating that he had no words right now. Each muscle in his body hurt from the tension in the room. His vocal folds, tongue movement and lips, froze. Andrew got up and retrieved a notebook and pen from the desk close to the window. He opened the notebook on the first blank page and handed it to Colin.

Colin held the notebook at an angle and wrote immediately with his left hand. The words slanted backwards but each letter, written in a slow, almost painstaking manner, screamed out at Andrew.

We robbed a bank. 275,000.

Andrew blinked. For a moment he was speechless.

‘Who exactly?’ He asked.

Steven, Gary and myself. Steven and gary both claimed 100,000 each. They did most of the work. I was just the driver.

‘Which bank?’

Does it matter?

‘Which bank, Colin?’

Can’t tell you. It doesn’t matter, does it? The deed is done. I’m not going to beg your forgiveness.

Andrew fidgeted with the handle of the briefcase. He opened it just enough to peek inside to make sure that all of this wasn’t a bad joke. It was real enough, so real the air around him smelled like money.

‘Hell yes, it matters. You should take it back and hand yourself over. A bank has cameras. And what about the weapons? Did you use guns?’

We wore balaclavas and Gary and Steven brandished toy guns. I can’t take this money back.

‘It’s not your money to keep.’

It is my money. I worked hard for it.

Andrew laughed. 'You were supposed to be on holiday. In the meantime you and your mates were planning this heist. You will never get away with it.'

We planned it well. Steven cased the joint for several weeks before we came up with a plan.

'What about the people in the bank? The staff?'

Colin fidgeted with the onyx dress-ring on his finger. Then wrote: We decided to do it just before lunch when the bank wasn’t too busy. We would not refer to each other by our real names. I would remain in the getaway car just behind the delivery gate of the bank. It was over in a few minutes. Anyway, how did you know about this?

‘I lied,’ Andrew said. ‘I didn’t go with mom. You know I hate supermarkets. Yesterday I watched you bury it from my bedroom window and dug it up this morning just before dawn. You could have buried it last week on the day you came home from your so-called "holiday". I wasn't home then. You kept this briefcase in the house all this time?’

He nodded. It suddenly dawned on Colin that he didn’t have to answer any more questions. He had said enough. If Gary and Steven got wind of this, there’s no telling what they would do. They had promised to keep it a secret between themselves. Maybe he should just kill Andrew now, then he wouldn’t have to suffer at the hands of his accomplices. But how? He didn’t own a gun. A knife would do it, but he’d have to clean up the mess afterwards. He could cut him up and dump the pieces in remote areas where no-one would find them. He’d make sure mom understood that Andrew had run away. Easier said than done. He wasn’t a killer. But what alternative was there? Andrew knew too much.

‘I’ve seen that look in your eyes before, Colin. That glazed, hazy look. It’s the same look you had when mom and dad divorced. You never spoke a word for months after that. What are you thinking?’

Colin remained silent; he raised his chin and levelled his nose sighting down its length at Andrew with his hazy, blue eyes.

‘I mean, look at you.’ Andrew said, ‘You look like a shipwreck. Huge brown bags under your eyes. Greasy hair. You need a haircut by the way. And when last did you shower? You stink. But I think I know what it is…You. Are. Scared. Shitless. You don’t know when the cops’ll come knocking. Take you away. Embarrass us as a family. You don’t know if you’ll spill the beans on your mates. You don’t know shit about the future, do you? You’re wondering whether I’m going to tell mom. Maybe the cops. Maybe the bank will give me a reward. A financial reward. You fear what you don’t know, Colin.’

Colin scribbled on the notepad: SHUTUP! SHUTUP!

Andrew opened the briefcase and turned the money onto the bed. The notes, fresh and crisp in their paper money holders.

Colin spoke for the first time. ‘A…are…y…y….y…you going to t…t….tell?’

A stream of memories filled his mind: the soccer games in the garden. Splashing each other with water from the hosepipe on hot days. Fighting over ice-creams. Laughing during horror movies. All this had come to pass. During this last year of school, he and Andrew had drifted apart. Andrew had started his own business, selling books at markets on weekends, while Colin had nothing to fall back on. Jobs were scarce. The economy had taken its toll on the family since Dad had died. Mom struggled to support them and downscaled by selling their large house to rent this one. Times were tough. This money would help.

‘If you don't give me half, I will tell everybody.’

‘Half. N….n….n….no way. A kwa…kwa...kwa quarter’

‘A quarter? No, no. That will not do at all. I expected you to say that. My silence is worth a lot more than just a quarter, brother.' Andrew took the pad and wrote the word HALF.

Colin drew a deep breathe. How do I know you won't talk?

'Oh, it's called trust. I'll keep my word, but I want half.

He wrote: If you break that trust, I'll kill you. I mean it.

'I’ve told mom already.’

Colin scrambled for the notepad and pressed down so hard with the pen that it tore through the paper: What?!!!!!Why? I would have shared it with you. WHY?

Andrew smiled at him. A naughty smile. ‘I told her that I had dug a hole for a tree I want to plant.’

'Oh, just so you know, I’ve already taken out that half. So you’re left with the balance. And one more thing. If you want me to keep quiet about this, there's one more teeny weeny thing.'

The tenseness in Colin’s face retreated. He wrote: NO! We made a deal. You get HALF. That's it. NO MORE.

‘I don't want more money. I want to be in on the next heist.’

I would love to know if you enjoyed this piece. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Thank you in advance
Louis J Harris (2012)
  • Like 7
  • Haha 1
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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I like how you write and the way you tell your stories, but I really don't like a story from the bad guy POV, I just don't. However, you tell a good story :)

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I loved the story. As usual, you waste no words. Everything was meticulously calculated. Every word was measured for it's importance. The only problem I had was with some of the passages that Colin supposedly wrote to his brother. In my mind, I don't imagine him writing such long winded, well detailed sentences on a scratch paper. Other than that, I thought it was a good short little ditty.

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Pacing was perfect and a great start with a minimum of words and dialogue!

Willie Sutton and the urban legend about his robbing banks because that's where the money is came to mind as I read the first chapter!

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On 09/02/2012 07:07 AM, Billy Martin said:
I like how you write and the way you tell your stories, but I really don't like a story from the bad guy POV, I just don't. However, you tell a good story :)
Thanks Billy. Hmmmm, a lot of my stories are POV bad guy. But that's just the way I plan it. Sometimes the bad guys win, sometimes they lose. In this case, Andrew knows he has the upper hand. He also knows that if he wants in, he's asking for trouble. But even that last line says something about Colin: his little brother wants to follow in his footsteps. There is no right or wrong in this piece. It's merely a character building exercise for me. Thanks for the read and the compliment bru.
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On 09/02/2012 07:58 AM, Jwolf said:
I loved the story. As usual, you waste no words. Everything was meticulously calculated. Every word was measured for it's importance. The only problem I had was with some of the passages that Colin supposedly wrote to his brother. In my mind, I don't imagine him writing such long winded, well detailed sentences on a scratch paper. Other than that, I thought it was a good short little ditty.
Thanks so much Jono. Yes, you are right. I cut my sentences down to the bone and leave the reader to fill in the gaps. It's not wrong or right to do it. It's just the way I write. I made some changes in respect for your advice and I hope it reads better now. Hugs and respect.
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On 09/02/2012 09:02 AM, Daddydavek said:
Pacing was perfect and a great start with a minimum of words and dialogue!

Willie Sutton and the urban legend about his robbing banks because that's where the money is came to mind as I read the first chapter!

Thanks Dave. I think, with my writing, pacing is very important. Even when I edit other writers, pacing is the first thing I look out for. I hope I have given Colin some kind of life. How he spends his life is entirely up to him. He's a loser, no doubt about that. He's also a wimp, even tho he has a strong physical body. I enjoy urban legends but didn't know about Willie Sutton. I shall research him. Thanks for the review, Dave. Hugs and respect.
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Good story, Louis. Seeing this, I also understand what you were trying to tell me about the use of dialogue to tell a story, offer descriptions etc. a little better now.

I felt this was 3rd person omniscient rather than Colin's POV. Though the descriptions focus more on him and Andrew is a little 'absent', I'm not sure Colin would be so aware of his own state or actions (e.g. the pellets of sweat or the hand clenching on the window), except for the stutter, which he's always struggled against, and his fight to get words out. He'd be more focused on Andrew, who's a real threat to him, at this point, and on the present.

That being said, I do "get" Colin, because you also include some of his thoughts (which would point to the story being Colin's POV, but since these come a little later, I'd already sort of placed myself as reader), and the way he looks, speaks and reacts are consistent with his thoughts and story.

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Once again, I am enjoying something you have written. Interesting, choosing a character with a speech impediment. From what I have read, you have no fear throwing something at your characters so I have a little trepidation about what will happen next. Can’t wait to see. I think both Colin and Andrew are in for more that what they bargained for.

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On 09/02/2012 10:41 PM, podga said:
Good story, Louis. Seeing this, I also understand what you were trying to tell me about the use of dialogue to tell a story, offer descriptions etc. a little better now.

I felt this was 3rd person omniscient rather than Colin's POV. Though the descriptions focus more on him and Andrew is a little 'absent', I'm not sure Colin would be so aware of his own state or actions (e.g. the pellets of sweat or the hand clenching on the window), except for the stutter, which he's always struggled against, and his fight to get words out. He'd be more focused on Andrew, who's a real threat to him, at this point, and on the present.

That being said, I do "get" Colin, because you also include some of his thoughts (which would point to the story being Colin's POV, but since these come a little later, I'd already sort of placed myself as reader), and the way he looks, speaks and reacts are consistent with his thoughts and story.

hi Podga, thank you for the comments. I do believe that characterization should have details that create a strong visual image. So that's what I did with Colin. His brother is a little lost in the story, agreed. I'll work on that.
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On 09/03/2012 11:34 PM, Randomness said:
Once again, I am enjoying something you have written. Interesting, choosing a character with a speech impediment. From what I have read, you have no fear throwing something at your characters so I have a little trepidation about what will happen next. Can’t wait to see. I think both Colin and Andrew are in for more that what they bargained for.
Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.
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On 09/03/2012 11:34 PM, Randomness said:
Once again, I am enjoying something you have written. Interesting, choosing a character with a speech impediment. From what I have read, you have no fear throwing something at your characters so I have a little trepidation about what will happen next. Can’t wait to see. I think both Colin and Andrew are in for more that what they bargained for.
Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.
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On 09/03/2012 11:34 PM, Randomness said:
Once again, I am enjoying something you have written. Interesting, choosing a character with a speech impediment. From what I have read, you have no fear throwing something at your characters so I have a little trepidation about what will happen next. Can’t wait to see. I think both Colin and Andrew are in for more that what they bargained for.
Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.
Link to comment
On 09/03/2012 11:34 PM, Randomness said:
Once again, I am enjoying something you have written. Interesting, choosing a character with a speech impediment. From what I have read, you have no fear throwing something at your characters so I have a little trepidation about what will happen next. Can’t wait to see. I think both Colin and Andrew are in for more that what they bargained for.
Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.
Link to comment
On 09/03/2012 11:34 PM, Randomness said:
Once again, I am enjoying something you have written. Interesting, choosing a character with a speech impediment. From what I have read, you have no fear throwing something at your characters so I have a little trepidation about what will happen next. Can’t wait to see. I think both Colin and Andrew are in for more that what they bargained for.
Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.
Link to comment
On 09/03/2012 11:34 PM, Randomness said:
Once again, I am enjoying something you have written. Interesting, choosing a character with a speech impediment. From what I have read, you have no fear throwing something at your characters so I have a little trepidation about what will happen next. Can’t wait to see. I think both Colin and Andrew are in for more that what they bargained for.
Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.
Link to comment
On 09/03/2012 11:34 PM, Randomness said:
Once again, I am enjoying something you have written. Interesting, choosing a character with a speech impediment. From what I have read, you have no fear throwing something at your characters so I have a little trepidation about what will happen next. Can’t wait to see. I think both Colin and Andrew are in for more that what they bargained for.
Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.
Link to comment
On 09/03/2012 11:34 PM, Randomness said:
Once again, I am enjoying something you have written. Interesting, choosing a character with a speech impediment. From what I have read, you have no fear throwing something at your characters so I have a little trepidation about what will happen next. Can’t wait to see. I think both Colin and Andrew are in for more that what they bargained for.
Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.
Link to comment
On 09/03/2012 11:34 PM, Randomness said:
Once again, I am enjoying something you have written. Interesting, choosing a character with a speech impediment. From what I have read, you have no fear throwing something at your characters so I have a little trepidation about what will happen next. Can’t wait to see. I think both Colin and Andrew are in for more that what they bargained for.
Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.
Link to comment
On 09/03/2012 11:34 PM, Randomness said:
Once again, I am enjoying something you have written. Interesting, choosing a character with a speech impediment. From what I have read, you have no fear throwing something at your characters so I have a little trepidation about what will happen next. Can’t wait to see. I think both Colin and Andrew are in for more that what they bargained for.
Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.
Link to comment
On 09/03/2012 11:34 PM, Randomness said:
Once again, I am enjoying something you have written. Interesting, choosing a character with a speech impediment. From what I have read, you have no fear throwing something at your characters so I have a little trepidation about what will happen next. Can’t wait to see. I think both Colin and Andrew are in for more that what they bargained for.
Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.
Link to comment
On 09/03/2012 11:34 PM, Randomness said:
Once again, I am enjoying something you have written. Interesting, choosing a character with a speech impediment. From what I have read, you have no fear throwing something at your characters so I have a little trepidation about what will happen next. Can’t wait to see. I think both Colin and Andrew are in for more that what they bargained for.
Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.
Link to comment
On 09/03/2012 11:34 PM, Randomness said:
Once again, I am enjoying something you have written. Interesting, choosing a character with a speech impediment. From what I have read, you have no fear throwing something at your characters so I have a little trepidation about what will happen next. Can’t wait to see. I think both Colin and Andrew are in for more that what they bargained for.
Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.
Link to comment
On 09/03/2012 11:34 PM, Randomness said:
Once again, I am enjoying something you have written. Interesting, choosing a character with a speech impediment. From what I have read, you have no fear throwing something at your characters so I have a little trepidation about what will happen next. Can’t wait to see. I think both Colin and Andrew are in for more that what they bargained for.
Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones. This is a once off chapter, but i might extend it to two or three chapters.
Link to comment
On 09/03/2012 11:34 PM, Randomness said:
Once again, I am enjoying something you have written. Interesting, choosing a character with a speech impediment. From what I have read, you have no fear throwing something at your characters so I have a little trepidation about what will happen next. Can’t wait to see. I think both Colin and Andrew are in for more that what they bargained for.
Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones. This is a once off chapter, but i might extend it to two or three chapters.
Link to comment
On 09/03/2012 11:34 PM, Randomness said:
Once again, I am enjoying something you have written. Interesting, choosing a character with a speech impediment. From what I have read, you have no fear throwing something at your characters so I have a little trepidation about what will happen next. Can’t wait to see. I think both Colin and Andrew are in for more that what they bargained for.
Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones. This is a once off chapter, but i might extend it to two or three chapters.
Link to comment

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