love is a difficult thing - 1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

-Eric-

Hi, my name is Eric, I’m gay, I fancy one of my best friends, and I can’t tell anyone.

Okay, let’s start at the beginning, how many times have you heard that before eh?

It was in primary school, Joe kelton was bullying me, I had come out that year and was taking a lot of stick, then he walked up to Joe, my angel, my hope, my life, Aaron Gibbs, he walked straight up to Joe and shoved him away.

“Leave him alone, it’s got none of your business” He had shouted at my tormentor, his brilliant blue eyes staring him down.

That was in my last year of school, I’m in year nine now, three years since he took my heart by saving me, were still in the same classes now, and I still love him. Id guessed I could never live my feeling down, never reign them in, I knew I would have to deal with it, some day, but not today, today I would go and survive another day of school, survive another day of him.

So there it is, the start of the saga of loneliness, the start of the days that felt like weeks, the weeks like months, the months like years, the lonely hours spent locked in my room fighting my feelings, should I come clean? But what if he hated me? Should I stay quiet? But what would that do to me? Well, be patient, I will get to that, I promise. Well where were we...

“MUM, I’m off to School, I’ll see you later” Eric Parsons shouted to his mother as he walked out of the front door, he heard a faint reply that sounded like a goodbye from his mother, he was to absorbed by his thoughts to notice. He had been like that allot lately, always in his head, it helped him think, made everything easier to analyse so he didn’t say the wrong thing to the wrong person, mostly he didn’t say anything at all, just keeping quiet. He enjoyed the bike ride to school, it was the only time he ever deliberately looked at any thing, he lived in the countryside around a city, he always loved to ride the road to school instead of being ferried by his mother in the family car, he enjoyed nature more when you could actually feel it, reach out and touch it, instead of being behind a glass screen. He noticed when he was closer to the city, the web of green life thinned and blocks of concrete and brick started to become prominent, he retreated back into his thoughts, his one and only safeguard.

“Hey Eric, How’s your morning?” Ashley shouted Eric hadn’t noticed his fellow riders appearing by his side as they always did, his response was late.

“I’m fine Ash, slow morning you know” Was all he could muster, he didn’t want to say anything, he just wanted to melt into the road, be invisible, be left alone, but of course, life must go on, as always. They all rode the road the group getting bigger students walking in groups on the pavement at the road side, then there it was, the huge concrete obstruction that was Eric Parsons school, slowly rising into view, the large yard at the front of the building was already mostly occupied with student, but Eric and his friends had a secret place, a place only students above year nine new about, the old classroom, the room was under the school and still had radiators so it was heated on the cold days, this was the safe haven for the older students Stanley high. But there he was, he sent a tingle through Eric that made a great emotion raise its head and rip through him like fire but be as chilling as ice at the very same time, Aaron Gibbs, the one person Eric could trust, but as always he had to act like just a friend, nothing more, he sat on the edge of the group, he laughed when they laughed, he was quiet when he wasn’t being spoken to, he wasn’t even paying attention, he was trying, and failing, to make his emotions leave him alone, to pass the feelings to someone else, it wouldn’t work. It was then the bell rang shrill and demanding above our heads, form time, great, there was only one person who was in my form that was down here, the rest where, no doubt, on the yard, Aaron Gibbs, it meant that I had to walk, on my own, across half of campus with Aaron, I swear someone up there has a grudge against me or something. So I got up and headed towards the stairs to wait for him.

“Hey dude, come on or weal be late” he had said to me

“Oh right yhea” I had replied like an idiot

We walked up the stairs past the athletics tracks, gym, maths and art departments and arrived at the science block which based our home house; we entered and walked upstairs to room 11e.

And that is how the first day of the month of hell started. The rest of my day was moderately okay, we, me and Aaron, had maths and then art, in math I tested my class mates ability to be good losers as I flaunted my ability to do complicated algebra questions with a glance, which by the way they all resent me for, And also I did it because it made Aaron laugh on more than one while they looked at me as if I had three heads, I was also top of the class in art, the room which we where in was adorned with most of my work, we followed on with the public art project we had been doing, I sculpted a great small scale version of a bridge miss had shown us a picture of, now don’t think I’m trying to be smug, because I’m not, Art, Math and I.C.T are all my best subjects other than those I’m terrible, don’t let my slim physique misguide you, I resent anything athletic, I would be terrible at any sport you could care to mention, after art we had a 15 minuet break so the group headed to the cafeteria, we took our usual spot by the back wall, which had a large mural of a pop artist that most people had graphitized over with permanent markers, I checked my time table wishing, just wishing that the whole school time table had been rewritten overnight, but it hadn’t, and I did have P.E next, crap.