Gemini - 3. Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte

Mihael was totally confused when Riku suddenly pushed away, wondering if he had done too much and scared him off.

“Riku, Did-”

“Argh why is it so fucking bright in here??” Riku hissed, squinting. “This place really needs heavier blinds or something...” He grabbed some clothes pegs from the side table, using them to pin the curtains closed tighter. “A bit better...” he said with a sigh, walking back to the sofa they had been on moments before.

Mihael took a few moments to realize what was going on, Riku had “switched”. He was probably now talking to the same one from the night before. Riku was now looking down at his clothes, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

“That guy always has such lame taste in clothes...” he sighed, pulling the jumper off and tossing it, the garment hitting the wall and landing on the study desk. He now raised his head to look at Mihael as if he had just noticed he was still there. “Sorry, didn’t mean to shove you off or anything, just I can’t stand daylight. It’s why I usually don’t come out in the daytime out of my own accord...” Riku sighed, pushing his bleached hair out of his eyes.

“I... see...” Mihael didn’t really know what to say in this situation and they sat for a few moments, neither of them talking. There were too many things Riku had said which didn’t make sense.

“Disappointed? Do you like him more than me?” Riku asked, his question cutting the silence. “Would you rather he was here?”

"You're different... It's like being with identical twins rather than the same person," Mihael replied “It’s not saying you or him are better then the other...”

"Hmm...but we are the same person. Just he's a pathetic coward when it comes to the important things." Riku replied, sounding defensive. “He always runs away and expects me to do something about it.”

“It almost sounds like you... don’t like him...”

“No I don’t. I hate him.” Riku replied, his mood seemed to have taken the turn for worse. “He gets all the nice things, the pleasant things, to live normally like everything is okay. And I’m treated like I’m the bad one.”

Mihael was really confused now as to what Riku meant but thought it not best to upset him anymore than he was. Riku closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, exhaling slowly.

“.....cute date by the way.” he added in a sarcastic tone.

“You can see what he sees?” Mihael asked, wanting to atleast understand how Riku worked.

“...kinna. The more emotional he gets, more I can see and hear. Normally I can kinna hear stuff but it’s muffled...not see through his eyes or anything like that.” Riku replied, sitting back on the sofa as he spoke. “If he gets really upset or sad or something then I start being able to see. And when he decides to hide cos his little fragile self can’t take it anymore.... I gain total control of our body.”

“But our date..?” Had he upset Riku without noticing?

“Oh that was because he was getting all excited. I could hear most of what was going on a little too much to ignore. So I decided to use that to my advantage and rain on his party,” Riku shrugged. “You do know...I’m not gonna let him sleep with you. I found you, so you are mine. Not his.”

"Well... if that's what you want. It might be nice to let him lose his virginity some time though...” Mihael wondered if the other Riku’s lack of experience in relationships had anything to do with this Riku.

"He doesn’t deserve that sort of pleasure." Riku shot back with a glare. There was a deep bitterness i n his voice and it was rather strange to see Riku’s mild features distort into a sour expression. He didn't want his other self to have such a pleasant first time when his involved so much pain he felt like he was going to pass out. “You are lucky I’m even letting him have any kind of contact with you. I’ve also been wondering, you are still here after last night, are you possibly trying to really have something like... a relationship with us?”

It had been Mihael’s intention. "Would it be wrong if I did want that?"

“No. You can’t. Impossible.” The answer came from Riku straight away.

“But...-”

“You’d like him more than me if I let it happen. I don’t want that.” Riku said in a quieter voice, looking away.

“What if I said I can like both of you?”

“It...isn’t possible. I’m not dumb. I...know I am not... likeable.” Riku hugged his own shoulders, squeezing tightly.

“Is it wrong if I tried?” Mihael asked softly, leaning over to try and look into Riku’s down-turned face. When Riku refused to look up, Mihael gently wrapped an arm around his shoulders. It wasn’t so obvious without touching him but he was shaking ever so slightly.

"You'd regret it." Riku replied simply "And probably end up dead."

Mihael thought about that. "Why would I?" he asked. "I'm not going to hurt either of you. Why would I have a cause to regret it?"

"Because I would want you to like me....and you would look at him more than me because he's pleasant."

Mihael shook his head. "I'd look at you both equally," he replied easily. "Besides, your roles in my life would be completely different, would they not?”

Riku looked as if he was considering it, his face clouded with doubt. What was so good about the other him anyway for this man to go this far? To be offering to put up with him to be with the other? Could he possibly even think of trusting him? Or would it be easier to get rid of this man before things got complicated?

Mihael took a deep breath, thinking about how he could get the other to agree to this. Even he didn’t really know why he was putting this much effort in, but something drew him to Riku. Like he didn’t want to leave him alone. "You don't find the same kinds of things interesting that he does. I doubt you'd want to sit around ice cream parlors on dates, but the other you wouldn't mind it so much. The experiences are different, and you'd find some of them boring if I dragged only you around, while I actually do enjoy your company."

Riku was silent for a while before his arms dropped from his sides. "I guess...Well don't say I didn't warn you if you get hurt....I'm giving you a change to run away right now." he said uncharacteristically for himself, exhaling a slow, shaky breath.

"Really? Because I'm fairly certain that even if I left right this moment, you'd still appear on my doorstep eventually," Mihael pointed out, however he was already pulling Riku by the shoulder closer to him. "You're already possessive."

"Maybe. Or just leave enough chaos for you to have no choice but to come back to me." Riku smiled faintly, making it not very certain he was joking or not. He let himself be pulled into the other’s chest, his body relaxing.

Mihael kissed Riku's neck. "So I had no choice anyway, before you delivered your ultimatum, right?"

"Maybe. I like to think I gave you the choice." Riku replied with a shrug, his body pressing against Mihael.

Mihael laughed. "It's a good job I chose what I did, isn't it? Just promise me you'll kill me before you start chopping me into really little pieces?" he joked.

"If you are nice to me, I’ll consider it." he replied with all seriousness in his voice but a sweet smile.

Mihael pouted, showing mock hurt. "Hey~ Am I not always nice to you?" he asked, stroking through Riku's hair.

Riku was silent, knowing it was true. He had been nicer to him then anyone else ever had, and maybe that was why he was feeling so clingy so soon, he told himself. He liked to think he was a good judge of character and also not stupid enough to fall in love so easily like some teenage girl. It wasn’t like he liked Mihael that much. It was... just a way to pass time and make his life more bearable. Yeah. That’s what it was."I guess..."

“Great!” Mihael smiled at Riku’s defeated sounding words. “We are official then!” It was actually against his contract with the recording company for him to date but well... As long as he didn’t get found out it was ok right?

“Though seeing as you are an idol and everything, you have some sort of dating contract right?” Riku looked up slightly from where he was, lent against Mihael’s chest. “So it’s off record. About us.”

“...Yeah.... I’m sorry about this...” Mihael felt a little bad but at the same time if he broke the contract at this early stage he’d lose his job. He wasn’t an idol but a rock musician (or so he’d like to say) but he didn’t bother correcting him.

“It’s alright. I don’t mind.” Riku shrugged, unexpectedly understanding. “It dosn’t change the truth.” He was starting to feel drowsy and he cursed under his breath. He did know it would happen faster than usual because he had pretty much forced his way to the surface and took control at daytime, a time when he didn’t have much govern over the body in the first place. He tried to keep his eyes open but he was feeling heavier and heavier...

“Thanks.” Mihael said softly as he stroked through his hair gently. He was really going to have to decide how to handle this weird relationship he was having. He wasn't sure how he'd be able to explain to anyone how Riku changed... He was too wrapped up in his own thoughts to notice his lover had fallen rather still until he stirred, suddenly sitting up with a jolt as if he just woke up.

Mihael blinked, still not used to this swapping that happened without a warning. “...Hi?”

Riku looked confused, looking around and his eyes finally met Mihael’s. “K..kyo-san? Did I... black out again?” he asked, looking rather horrified.

Mihael now knew what just happened and laughed a little. “Yep. You did.”

"Ah...I'm sorry.." Riku said apologetically, his head bowed. "I don't know what's wrong with me.."

Mihael did, however know mostly what was up with Riku now, atleast more than he himself seemed to. He stroked Riku’s hair. “I don’t think the other you likes it when you get close to me in that way,” he explained gently. “So he bullied his way out to stop us.”

"Other me?" Riku blinked. He was quite what one would call an “airhead”, it meant he didn't really catch on to his own mental problems most of the time as much as normal people would. His carte he had, which was each about the thickness of an encyclopedia, and spanned 3 folders, was way too hard for him to understand anyway so he had never looked at them.

Mihael stared at Riku. “Yeah... You have schizophrenia right?” he asked, carefully moving away so that he could look into Riku’s eyes. “The other Riku is the one who I slept with the other night and who came out just now...”

“I think... when I was younger I had schizophrenia... but that should have been cured,“ Riku said quietly, fear swirling at the pit of his stomach at the thought. It was something he was scared of, what he just wished would go away and maybe it would if he didn’t think about it. "I...I don't know what I have.....I have medical notes, but it all sounds really complicated...." He had hoped his blackouts were just a figment of his imagination or something harmless. Even if that was clearly a very unlikely thing. He pointed at his bookshelf, at the bottom three large binders that looked overly bloated with bits of paper sticking out could be seen.

Mihael followed his line of sight and then nodded. He guessed that Riku's awareness of himself wasn't that good. "Do you want me to explain everything to you simply then?"

"When you black out, you don't just go to sleep. You become someone else. You're still Riku but... different. Darker somehow. Your personality is opposite to what it is now. You're confident for a start," Mihael explained. "He can see what you do though, you can't see what he does. I think that might be a good thing though."

"...is he...that bad?" Riku asked quietly, scared. It scared him that there was someone else....inside him. He had a feeling about it for a while now, but to be faced with it...

Mihael shook his head, it was easier to say that then to try and explain and well a small white lie couldn’t hurt, right? "Not really. I think he's just misunderstood. I get on with him," he smiled reassuringly. That itself was true atleast.

"R...really?" Riku asked, looking very unsure and as if he might cry, his eyes going misty. He hated this feeling, as if his own body didn’t belong to him, that he could maybe one day do something he really didn’t want to.

Mihael touched his cheek gently. "Would I lie to you?"

"N..no...." Riku replied. "I...I'm just scared...I'll do bad things..." He had a bad feeling, and he didn't know why. It added to the uncertainty gnawing at him.

"I'll make sure the other Riku stays with me then," Mihael said, stroking the other’s hair soothingly.

Riku nodded, taking a few shaky breaths to try and calm himself down. "I..I'm sorry for being so much trouble.."

"Really, it's no trouble," Mihael said, shaking his head. It was sort of cool in a way. He guessed. If one looked on the positive side. "The only thing I'm a bit upset about is that we got interrupted earlier."

"A...ah..." Riku remembered and colour rapidly found its way to his cheeks. "I....why won't he let me do things... like that with you?"
"He gets jealous. He doesn't want me to experience that with you in case I like you better," Mihael explained. "Kind of like that's his place in your life, and yours is to go on dates and do the other things that couples do."

"B...but...."

That’s not fair... Even I want to... do things like that in the future with the person I like...

"You both have things the other wants but I'm not sure he'll agree to anything yet. Not for a while anyway. Maybe we can bargain with him some other time?" he suggested. "Until then we can still make out and things, just not... go all the way.”

"U...un..." Riku nodded, showing he understood. "You...are okay with it?" he asked as if it just occurred to him this was a very odd situation.

"I'm not too worried about it, aslong as you both are alright with it. It's all you, after all."

Riku stayed silent for a moment before he hugged onto Mihael rather hard, crushing his lover against the sofa back with the force of the hug. "T...thank you..." he didn't know why anyone would want someone like him. Riku shakily breathed in Mihael's scent, a perfume he didn't know what it was but it was nice. Or maybe it was because it was Mihael.

“It's alright," Mihael said and then began to stroke Riku's hair again, placing a kiss against his temple. He then tilted Riku's face up and kissed him gently on the lips. Feeling the other respond positively, he brushed their lips together again, and again, leaving dry butterfly kisses against Riku's lips. Mihael was a little too aware that the other Riku wouldn't be happy if it went further so he pulled away, placing a kiss on the top of Riku's head.

Riku looked up, wondering why he had stopped. He liked the feel of them.... "H..how long can you stay with me today?" he asked quietly, aware the other was busy.

“Umm let’s see..” Mihael replied, pulling out his phone to check the time. It was already pretty late and he had a 7am start tomorrow if he remembered correctly. "Probably a few more minutes... early start tomorrow.... I can't really stay the night. It'll raise too much suspicion if I don't return to the hotel tonight."

"When...when can I see you again?" Riku knew it sounded so forward but he couldn't help asking.

“Errr...” Mihael didn't actually know his schedule for the week. He smiled and leaned forward. "I'll give you my number. Turn around..." He received a confused look from Riku in reply but the blonde did as he asked.

"Here's my number. Remember it," he said and then with his finger he wrote the first digit of his cell phone number on Riku's neck. "Got that one?"

Riku gave a nod, feeling nervous and telling himself he better remember it.

Mihael wrote the rest of the numbers slowly and deliberately on Riku's neck before sealing it with a kiss. "Got all those?"

Riku nodded. He was sure to remember till he died... "Y...yes.."

Mihael laughed at the seriousness of Riku’s voice. He knew it was a bit mean but he couldn’t help play with the other sometimes when his responses were so cute. Smiling cheekily he pulled out a business card, holding it in front of Riku's eyes. "Just in case you forget."

Riku blinked, before taking it. "A...ah...thank you..." he had memorized anyway, but still he was glad as he was petrified of forgetting it somehow.

"Well, I'll be leaving then." Mihael gave Riku a squeeze from behind as he said so.

"A..ah,...okay...." Riku nodded, feeling his heart sink. He missed him already and he hadn't even left. “Please take care... ”

"Don't look so down. I'm only on the other end of the phone. As soon as I know when I've got a day free I'll take you out for dinner... Both of you," Mihael added for the other Riku's benefit more than the one in his arms.

Riku nodded "I'll call you soon." he said with a small smile.

Riku waited till mid week to call the number, remembering it off by heart. It seemed the phone was switched off, and Riku had to ignore his sinking heart.

No...he must just be busy...Kyo-san is busy afterall...

Riku was hesitant to try the number again, afraid he would be pestering the man. He would try again on Saturday. Did musicians have the same days off like normal working people? He wasn’t sure but it seemed like the most sensible idea. That or well when Mihael was free he would ring back.

However he ended up waking up late for school the next day as his alarm didn’t go off. He found it on the floor by the wall leading to the kitchen, the phone smashed, bits of the screen all over the floor as if someone had thrown it against the wall a few times.

W...why...?