Trickster - 1. A Sam and Jeremy story

It is a beautiful morning and I can hardly wait for this afternoon. I don’t normally get up this early on a Saturday but I guess the anticipation of tonight is too much to let me sleep in. Jeremy is coming over after lunch to hang out and get dressed up. We've been planning and constructing our costumes for almost a month. I think this will be our last year for trick or treating, we are pushing it even now, at our age. The rest of our friends seem to be doing it this year so Jeremy and I decided to go out. There is a party later over at Melissa’s house that we are going to go to that should be fun; we are supposed to stay in costume for it, at least for the beginning. Then Jeremy and I are camping out tonight. We have it all planned out.

≈

“Jeremy, do you really think it’s such a good idea to be camping out? The weather report says that it’s going to get pretty chilly tonight.” His mom turns away from the small LCD television under the kitchen counter and looks at him. Jeremy swallows a mouthful of cereal and smiles at his mom.

“I have everything taken care of, Mom,” he replies. “The tent has been airing out for a week and it has plastic and felt under it. It will be dry; we shouldn’t have any problems.”

“I didn’t say anything about it being dry, Jeremy.” The skin around her eyes tightens as she looks at him. “What have you got up your sleeve, young man? Just remember, Sam’s your best friend and you two aren’t little boys anymore.” His mom points her finger at him now, “One of these days he’s going to get tired of your little pranks and then what will you do?”

Jeremy gives her a smile that he uses for just these situations. “Don’t you worry, Mom.” He quickly glances down at the dog-eared cover of the magazine he has been saving, “I have it all planned out.”

________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Sam, let’s go trick and treating this year. We can go as a television dynamic duo, yeah?” Jeremy smiles up at me from where he is lying on my bed. It is not quite the end of September and he is already thinking of Halloween. “Come on, tell me what you think of the idea.” I was looking through my CDs, trying to decide what to put on next when he began talking, but looking at him lying there and talking to me through the V of his legs—he has my attention. Jeremy has yanked one of my pillows over to rest his head on, arms crossed under it. He is still wearing shorts, showing off h­airy legs and my eyes are drawn to them. “Earth to Sam, halloo!” Jeremy is waving a hand when I turn my eyes toward his face. He cracks up laughing and rolls onto his stomach.

I bound over to the bed and then jump on him and attack. “Laugh at me will ya. I know your weaknesses, dude.” Grabbing Jeremy’s sides, I dig my fingers in and run them up and down the edges of his back giving him a reason to laugh and he sure does, giggling and squirming under me. Though I have the element of surprise, it does not take him long to recover from my attack and switch places with me. Jeremy has a lot more muscle than I do and after a couple of twists, suddenly I'm on the bottom. “No, no, Jeremy, don’t,” I scream. Giggling and wriggling around does me no good because he ends up sitting on my stomach holding my hands over my head. “I give . . . I give, no more!” I laugh almost out of breath.

Leaning down and looking into my eyes, so close I can feel each fast breath against my face, Jeremy says, “You're mine.” His eyes are so beautiful. I want to kiss him; I think I may hate myself for it and I want him to let go before I do something awful. Releasing me, he gives me a curious expression that I can’t quite figure out. Jeremy leans back but he doesn’t climb off, he takes a deep breath and exhales. “You are my partner in crime at Halloween. You are going to dress up with me. You are going to have a good time.” Jeremy hops off and lies down beside me. “So, TV dynamic duo, what do ya think, Sam?”

I cannot help the smile and laugh that creeps into my voice. “I think because you suggested it that you already have an idea. That’s what I think.” It’s Jeremy’s favorite holiday, after all. He is definitely going to have an idea if he is bringing this up already.

“I do, hear me out. I think it’s weird enough and funny enough that it will go over big with the kiddies and 'rents.” Jeremy slides off, turns over on his side close to me, and props his head up on his arm. He reaches out with his free hand, brushes the sweaty hair off my forehead, and then rests it on my chest. I turn my head just enough to look at him. “There is going to be some work involved but you know it’s gonna be fun. We like doing shit like this and I don’t think we have to spend a lot of money. It’s a win-win situation. So this is what I think we should do . . .”

Throwing the newspaper into the recycling bin with one hand as I dump the last bit of cold, bitter coffee that's still in the pot down the sink with the other is a skill, I think. I may have just invented it and perfected it all at the same time. However, coffee, oh wonderful elixir that it is, I finally can drink. Mom and Dad decided that since I am five-foot-ten now that it will not stunt my growth. Yeah, one more milestone in life knocked down. Just as I open the refrigerator and bend over to look inside… ‘Bang! Slap! Bang!’ Getting the crap scared out me and almost hitting my head on the freezer door is not my idea of fun; I jump and look toward the sound. Jeremy is on the other side of the patio door. My suspicion? . . . He has been watching and waiting for just the right moment. I let him in anyway and Jeremy gives me a big shit-eating grin. “Hey.”

“Hey, back. Did you get your teeth whitened?” I ask. “They look really white.” He looks pleased but shakes his head no. Things I have never noticed about him before keep popping out at me at the stupidest times. What is even more stupid, I say them aloud. I give my head a quick shake and say, “I was just beginning to scrounge for a lunch idea when someone rudely interrupted me.” I raise an eyebrow and he looks blankly back at me. “I thought you were coming over later. Have you had lunch yet?”

“No, I haven’t but wait, look what I got.” Jeremy pulls a bag from behind his back and hands it to me. Looking inside I find smaller bags of spiders and fuzzy caterpillar things, which I understand, and two bags of wrapped candy, which makes me scratch my head.

“Uh, Jeremy, the critters make sense but what’s up with the candy? We are going trick or treating, you know.”

“That’s trick and treating, not or, and it isn’t candy. Pull one out. They just came in the mail yesterday; I thought they weren’t going to make it.” He is right; it’s plastic candy and real looking. I glance up at him and snicker. “Right, when I pick up a candy I am going to drop one of these and some kid is going to get one. It’s genius!” Jeremy has done well I have to admit. He reaches for the bag and then dumps everything on the counter. He rips open a couple of the smaller bags and says, “Touch these bugs, Sam. They feel so realistic. I got it all on the internet. Mom let me use her credit card.”

“You’re right, they do feel real,” I say and shake a squirming caterpillar in the air at him. It is rubbery and it has a slight fuzziness to it. “Are these also for trick and treating?” Jeremy grins and nods his head yes. “Great, they are perfect and I’m starved. I can’t remember, did you say you ate or not?”

After lunch, we hang out, watch some TV, wrestle on the couch, snack, and listen to music. We even fall asleep for about an hour, a typical fun weekend afternoon of doing nothing important. Around four, we head to my bedroom to get ready. It's such a warm fall day and the costumes we created are kinda warm too, especially mine with the padding, so we strip down to our underwear and socks before dressing back up again. I pull my pants off and I look over at Jeremy. His shirt is off and I notice how much more muscular he is than I am and his chest catches my eye; Jeremy is growing hair. He glances up after pulling his own pants off and looks at me questioningly. “You’re getting hair on your chest,” I say.

“Yeah, it started showing up near the end of August. Looks like I am going to be fuzzy.” Jeremy rubs a hand slowly across the light down across his firm looking pecs. I can see that his nipples have perked up from the cool air in the room and he frames one of them in the separation of his fingers. I am not entirely sure how long I look at him but I suddenly hear, “Sam,” and again, “Sam!” God, I have to stop spacing out like that. I look at him, he is pulling a smile up from the left side of his mouth, and his eyebrows slowly rise and he nods quickly downward with his eyes and back up to my face. I crease my eyebrows together and look down; there is the thing that I have been fearful of happening. I can feel the blood rush out of my head but my face flashes red-hot at the same time.

“I gotta go to the bathroom.” I manage to squeak that out before running out of the room. I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself. Confronting my image, my teeth mashed firmly together, I say in short, sharp sound bites, “You have to keep looking. Don’t you? Isn’t enough he’s your best friend. No! You have to stare. You have to get a boner. What’s wrong with you?” My eyes are wet, I want to cry and I can feel the tears just behind my eyes ready to come out. I bite my bottom lip hard, look away from the mirror, sit down on the toilet lid and rub my eyes hard with the backs of my hands. I still have a damn hard-on. My mind blanks out or something because I have no idea how long I sit there before Jeremy knocks on the bathroom door.

“Sam, come out. There is nothing to be embarrassed about; I get them out of the blue all the time.” There is a pause and then a thump against the door. “Bud, come on, I’m dressed except for the head. Go finish up and meet me in the living room. I think your mom and dad just pulled in anyway.” I can hear Jeremy sigh and then his footsteps echoing as he walks down the hardwood floor of the hall. I go to the sink and splash some cold water on my face, grab a towel, and walk out of the bathroom and into my room to finish up. Mom and Dad are home, I can hear them through my door talking to Jeremy. Dressed, I pick up my head, look at it, and decide to put it on. I do not want to have to look at Jeremy when I walk out. Besides, Mom and Dad have not seen the costume before. It’s supposed to be a surprise for them and for Jeremy’s mom later, so I might as well start now.

“Oh my God,” Mom squeals when I walk out and she points her finger at me. “That’s so real looking, Sam.” Dad is standing to the side of her shaking his head and chuckling. Mom turns to Jeremy and gestures him to come closer. “Put your head on, sweetheart. Let us see the two of you side by side.” That’s what I want, us side by side like we have always been. I don’t want things to change. Mom runs off, comes back with the camera and takes a lot of pictures.

We close the door behind us, take a couple of steps and a small group of very small kids comes running up the walk. “It’s Bert and Ernie,” they all scream and start petting us. There is ‘Hi, Bert’ and ‘Hi, Ernie’ coming from all the kids. I guess we are a big hit for an Ernie that is six-feet tall and a Bert that tops out around six-feet six-inches; Jeremy won the coin toss and got to be Bert. We watched scenes on the web and practiced the voices. We must have gotten them close enough because the kids seem to be thrilled with us.

After the kids run off to the front door, I turn to Jeremy and using Ernie’s voice say, “Jeeze, Bert we’re gonna have to go through this all night.” Jeremy doubles over laughing and almost loses his head. I think that we are both as thrilled as the kids seemed to be. The rest of the night is more of the same with kids as we go from house to house. The parents like us just as much as the kids do. Jeremy drops his fuzzy spiders with squiggly legs, squirmy caterpillars and plastic candy each time he picks up a real piece as he talks to the folks at each door.

“Sam, I realize that I didn’t think this out too well.” I try to say something back but it comes out as a cough from talking funny and Jeremy waves me off. “I’m dropping off the fakes but we’re never around long enough to see what happens afterward.” He has a point but three houses later, it pays off big time. Just as he has done each time, Jeremy drops something and picks up a real candy. We get nearly halfway back down the sidewalk when a horrendously loud screech makes us turn around quickly. A little boy dressed up like Captain America is yelling and stomping on one of the green caterpillars. “Yes!” Jeremy pumps his arm. I am so happy for him.

We have an hour to kill before heading over to Melissa’s after trick and treat is over. Jeremy’s mom has not yet seen us in our costumes so we head to his house as planned. His mom is sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee. She begins laughing as soon as we walk in; we stage a mock fight and slap each other as we yell at one another in our special voices. “Is that what you two have been up to? Come here, come here, let me give you a hug,” she says while flapping her hands at us. “Oh, you guys look so good,” she says. “You wait right there while I go get the camera.” I can see us in reflection against the patio door and we do look good.

Slipping into Jeremy’s bedroom, we take the heads off and leap ourselves onto the bed. “Damn, I’m tired! I could take another nap. Do we have to go to Melissa’s party?”

“What!” Jeremy shoves me and then has to grab me before I roll off the side of his bed. “Hey, hey, hey, get back here. Where do you think you’re going, bud? You aren’t getting out of the party that easy.” Oh man, the look on his face and that half grin he wears as he looks at me just wipes the irritation of almost falling off the bed right out of me. “We worked hard on those heads, Sam. I want our friends to see them. I want to show off, 'kay? It’s not every day they get to see such a fine example of dynamic duo-ism.” He flings his head back and laughs. “Or something like that anyway. You know what I mean, right?” I do indeed.

≈

“Come on, Sam,” Jeremy calls out and motions for me to catch up. “We better put our heads on now; Melissa’s house is just two more up the street.” He puts his Bert head on and waits for me to join him.

“I hope we don’t have to wear these things too much longer. This is getting heavy after having it on so long,” I tell Jeremy. Putting the Ernie head back on, more to please him than for any other reason, I catch up and walk with him the rest of the way to Melissa’s. We cannot hear anything when we get to the door.

“Doesn’t sound like much of a party.” Jeremy looks at me and I give him a shrug, this is the place. We are only fifteen minutes late. “Guess there’s only one way to find out,” he says. Jeremy pushes the door buzzer and steps back by me to wait. It is not long before the door opens and Little Red Riding Hood Melissa stands in the entry, complete with a cloth-covered wicker basket.

“Trick and treat,” we both call out in our best famous character voices.

“Wow, you two look great. Who’s in there? Isn’t that supposed to be trick or treat?” Yep, that’s Melissa and her sometime verbal bombardment.

I reply in my own voice, “It’s me, Sam.” I point with my thumb. “And Jeremy.”

Melissa giggles. “Well, it figures, I guess.” Jeremy turns to look at me, as if to ask ‘what’s that mean’. I give him another shrug; I do not know what she means by that. “Come on in,” Melissa calls as she eases back and motions us into the entry hall. Before we take two steps in, a little creature on four legs comes running at us yipping and barking. When it tries to stop at our feet, it slides on the shiny floor tiles and right out the front door onto the landing outside. Melissa runs out to pick it up and turns the thing in every direction looking at it.

“It’s not broken, is it?” asked Jeremy. I snort and try to stifle a laugh.

“Oh don’t mind Brinkers, he’s fine. His real name is Blinkers but my little sister can’t seem to get it right, so now its Brinkers. He’s a Chihuahua. He doesn’t bite, you don’t have to worry about him. Can you two see all right? I think my mother will kill you if you step on him,” she says.

I was sure that Melissa did not take a breath during her entire monologue. I was pretty sure if the dog could sail out the door without damage, stepping on it wasn’t going to hurt it either.

“We can see pretty well but as soon as everybody gets here, we’ll take the heads off, Melissa,” Jeremy tells her.

“Oh, they’re all here. You two are the last, everyone else came early.” She leans forward and whispers, “Mom was so pissed.” She laughs. “Come on, everyone’s downstairs in the split.” We follow Melissa down the hall to the stairwell and meet her mother who is just coming up. Melissa makes introductions and her mom compliments us on our costumes and for being such gentlemen coming fashionably late. Melissa rolls her eyes dramatically behind her mother’s back. I have to pinch my lips tight to avoid cracking up.

The noise of the group downstairs finally reaches us about halfway down the carpeted stairs and when we step into the large room at the bottom, it slowly goes silent. Every head turns to us, even the video football game on the flat-screen gets paused. This lasts until David Masters, one of our football team’s star players, starts braying his form of laughter at us . . . 'haw-haw-haw.' He’s like six-foot-two and must weigh over two hundred pounds. He is big and fast and an asshole. “Oh, shut up, David,” Melissa yells at him. “Sam and Jeremy put a lot of thought, and it looks like a lot of work as well, into their costumes. They look great.”

“Sam and Jeremy? It figures! And what the hell, Melissa, me and the guys . . .” David points to Mike and Aaron on the couch beside him. “. . . are football player zombies. You said we looked cool.”

Melissa turns her back on him, faces us, rolls her eyes up toward the ceiling and shakes her head. “Come on guys, sandwiches and drinks are over here.” We follow her over to a table by some sliding glass doors that lead out to a patio and the lawn. I feel starved and I pull off my Ernie head so I can eat and fix myself a plate. When I turn back around, Jeremy and Melissa are over by a table talking to some friends from school. I am not an antisocial person but with an empty stomach, food is the major priority. Besides, it gives me a chance to scope out the room while I eat.

Directly across from me, I see Jeremy and Melissa talking to a group of kids sitting around a dining table, some of them are eating as well. Further down is where a couch is situated in the middle of the floor and the football goons are taking up the whole thing, playing a video football game (how totally original) on a flat-screen hanging on the wall. A room that I did not notice earlier is off to the right and it has a pool table in it. There are a few people standing around watching a couple of pirates playing a game. Melissa drew a good crowd; there must be close to twenty people down here. No wonder Melissa’s mom was pissed that everybody came early.

After I finish stuffing my face and downing a Cherry Coke, I join in the socializing. A lot of them want to know how Jeremy and I made the heads and I get to show off some of our skills. I talk to Jeremy for a while, ask him about the ‘it figures’ comments but he just shrugs his shoulders and asks me what I think they meant. This upsets me for some reason but I tell him that I don’t have a clue. Later, I end up at the pool table playing against Dan, one of the pirates. I sink the cue ball, look up, and find Sarah is talking to Jeremy but he is watching me. I give him a grimace that shows all of my teeth and shrug. I hear Sarah say she is going for a refill and that she is coming right back. Jeremy looks back toward her, smiles and nods, and she walks away.

Just as Jeremy turns back toward me, Brinkers the dog, comes running up and begins barking at him. Jeremy picks him up, looks over at me and puts a finger to his lips. He holds the dog beside his head with his shoulder, reaches down to the chair behind him, grabs Bert’s head and slips it on. Sarah returns with her drink and asks, “Why did you put your head back on, Jeremy?” Leaning close to him, she knocks on the head asking, “Anybody in there?” The dog goes crazy, shoves its head out of Bert’s mouth just like that creature from Alien does, and barks, growls, and snaps at her. Sarah screams, jumps back and throws her hands in the air. She holds onto her cup but not the punch and it sails across the room and lands on the guys sitting on the couch. David takes most of it right in the face and down his jersey; he jumps up and yanks the game machine off of its shelf with the controller cord.

He must have been keeping the couch anchored with his weight because when he gets up, the couch flips. All five of the people who are sitting on the back of the couch end up on their asses with Mark and Aaron on top of them. The guys jump up and start yelling and one of the girls starts crying. I can hear Melissa’s mom running down the stairs. She looks at the mess, scans the room for Melissa and stomps her way over to her, and begins talking with lots of hand gestures. Melissa throws gestures right back at her. All of us are asked to go home politely but stiffly after righting the couch, picking up the mess, and before the party is supposed to be over. I feel sorry for Melissa but it is fucking hilarious and something that people will talk about at school next week.

≈

“Jeremy? Jeremy, are you awake?” I ask just loudly enough that in case he is asleep I can pass it off, but I really want him to wake up if he is sleeping. It is cold even with a sweatshirt, sweatpants, and socks on.

“Mmm hmm,” Jeremy mumbles, but he doesn’t sound like he is sleeping to me. “I didn’t think you would drop off so soon. What’s wrong, Sam?”

“Sorry, but it’s freezing in here; I’m shivering, even with this bag wrapped around me like a mummy.” I giggle at my own Halloween reference. “We should have brought extra blankets like I said. I told you it was getting chilly. I can’t believe I let you talk me out of bringing them.”

“Unzip your bag, Sam,” Jeremy tells me. I look at him like he is nuts but it’s dark enough that I’m pretty sure he doesn’t see me. I can hear Jeremy begin to unzip his and he reaches over and gives me a nudge to get started on mine. “Get busy, Sam or you really will be cold if I have to shake you out of that thing.”

“You’re giving me threats? Now, while I’m shivering to death?” I whine.

“We’ll zip these together and our body temperatures will keep us warm and cozy, Sam. Maybe you need to put some more muscle on,” Jeremy says. I want to smack him but he rolls me out of my bag first and has the nerve to chuckle about it. He lays my bag on top of his that he already unfolded; he zips those together most of the way and crawls inside. Jeremy holds the top side open, pats the bottom and says, “Come on, climb in and finish zipping up, you’ll be warm soon.” After diving in, I quickly discover that when zipped together, there is not a lot of room inside for the two of us. I squirm around and try to get myself situated. I don’t try to clobber Jeremy on purpose but he gets elbowed at least twice.

“Jeremy, it’s too tight in here. I’m gonna go get blankets.” I attempt to slide out but he reaches around my waist, grabs me and pulls me into him. “What are you doing?” I try to shift around and look at him but he pulls me tighter against him until my back is against his chest and he slides an elbow under my pillow.

“Zip up, Sam its fine just like this, it doesn’t bother me at all,” Jeremy says softly. His voice sounds deeper, different and I can feel his chest vibrate against my back. I give up, zip the last few inches, and settle in. It feels a little bit strange being this close to Jeremy with his arm lying over my waist. This has never happened before. It is warmer and cozy but I want to pull away some; I do not want him to think that his best friend is perving on him. I mean crap, I’m getting hard-ons now when I’m around him. I can feel Jeremy’s soft breath on the back of my neck and it sends tiny shivers down my spine. “You okay, you’re still shivering?” he whispers. I can feel every word move the soft hairs on the back of my head when he speaks and I feel my dick twitch while goose bumps cover my skin.

“No, no, must have been a leftover,” I tell him. “Jeremy?”

“What?” he whispers back.

“I really had fun today. The whole day was a lot of fun.” I speak to him softly. “And tonight we did loads of treating but not any tricking. You did certainly, trick other people I mean, but you didn’t play any on me.” Jeremy snuggles up even closer and curls his legs up under me so that we press all along each other. His face pushes gently against the back of my head so that I can feel his lips move when he speaks.

“Yeah, I did, Sam.” Jeremy moves his hand up to my chest and hugs me tight. “Now go to sleep.”

Thank you for following Sam and Jeremy. If you liked my story, please let me know. If you didn't like my story, you can keep it to yourself. Naw . . . You ought to tell me that, too. Your likes and reviews, and the little star ratings, are my reward. Big thank you to Lisa for the editing and generously supplying the foreword in the story note.